I haven't been actively looking for anything since I broke things off this summer with the last woman I was seeing for a while. Shortly after we stopped dating, I got a message from someone on OKC that seemed like she was really my type. We messaged for a couple days after making tentative plans for something during the week, and then I stopped hearing from her. It kinda bummed me out, but I was more pissed because I didn't seek it out. I wasn't out looking for that, but she brought some interest TO ME, and then I felt stupid when she left me hanging. Okay, whatever. Didn't think about it after a couple days. About a month ago, my friend tells me that she was talking about me with her friend and she thought I was cute. I got her number and texted with her for a couple weeks, again with plans to do something when she was free. Again, I just stop hearing from her. And again, kinda pissed cuz I didn't seek this out, it was literally HER idea to have me contact her. So my friend had a birthday party tonight and thought I would get a chance to finally meet her. My friend texts me yesterday and says she talked to her friend and she met someone and they're now dating (holy shit that was fast to exclusivity!). They both showed up tonight, and nobody was impressed by the dude. We never even spoke or technically met. It kinda bums me out...
... but then, it doesn't. I was apprehensive about going out with a 24 yr old. She wasn't even mature enough to tell me what was up. I was happy that at least my friend was pissed with her too. And what's up with just going all in with someone so quickly, especially when you've been talking to someone else and have talked about plans? I know she doesn't owe me anything, I'm just saying keep your options open.
And that brings me to what some people here have talked about: not wanting a "serious" relationship. I'm 8 yrs older than this person, we didn't have any immediately recognizable interests (she has certain physical problems that keep her from being very active, which I am VERY much so), and we've never even met. I think about how I don't wanna miss out on hanging out with my friends, or doing the things that I like to do. If I was with "her", I wouldn't be here doing this right now. I had no real interest in trying to establish something serious with this person. Yet, there's some conscious part of me that gets bummed about stuff like this. I think I was just lonely and excited to meet someone new.
The human mind is a funny thing...
(/done venting to a computer screen)