Author Topic: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip  (Read 279357 times)

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Offline Phoenix87x

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2835 on: November 20, 2016, 06:04:54 PM »
Its been about 3 months since the break up between me and my Fiance and I truly am surprised how much I am loving being single.

Its like, my whole life I looked at people in relationships and thought about how the grass was greener. I looked at relationships like it was the be all, end all, one thing that would complete my life and bring me happiness. And after being engaged and being mere months away from getting married, the lessons learned from that experience was such a wake up call.

If a relationship happens to come along in the future, cool. If not, that's cool too. Right now, I am just focusing on living my life.


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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2836 on: November 20, 2016, 06:06:17 PM »
Its been about 3 months since breaking up with my Fiance and I truly am surprised how much I am loving being single.

Its like, my whole life I looked at people in relationships and thought about how the grass was greener. I looked at relationships like it was the be all, end all, one thing that would complete my life and bring me happiness. And after being engaged and being mere months away from getting married, the lessons learned from that experience was such a wake up call.

If a relationship happens to come along in the future, cool. If not, that's cool too. Right now, I am just focusing on living my life.

Having been in your shoes, I know the feeling and agree.  Glad you are able to enjoy living your life.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2837 on: November 20, 2016, 07:18:07 PM »
Gone on 3 OKC dates in about a week (all different women).

Felt absolutely nothing. :(
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Offline Prog Snob

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2838 on: November 20, 2016, 08:00:32 PM »
Most of women I know I would hit it off with live in Brooklyn or Manhattan or even New Jersey. Staten Island is a whole different world. It really does come across as this culturally ignorant place. However, just go across the bridge to Brooklyn and you find women who love books and art and are open-minded. You don't see that in my Staten Island profiles. Sadly, most of the Brooklyn and Manhattan types do not want to travel to Staten Island to date someone.

I know what you mean.  Most NJ people won't date Staten Islanders.  It's so true, that island (no offense) is disgusting and the people are largely assholes and scumbags.  That one girl I dated was pretty nice but she wasn't from SI so it made sense.  The one other girl I dated from SI ended up stalking me and the girl I dated after her.  It was a nightmare and I don't believe she was out of the ordinary for SI girls.    Also, the one nice girl from SI (the one actually from Binghamton) told me so many stories about the people she worked with and how scummy everyone is there.  I feel for you on this.  And once again, trying not to offend your home, but just telling it how I see it and how others I know have told me they see it as well.

I completely missed your response. I'm well aware of the issues here. :lol That's my complaint. Most of the people are painstakingly typical. Putting that aside, I started talking to a girl in Bayonne. We were talking about where we lived and she mentioned that she could never leave NJ. Well she's out.  :\ 

Offline Lynxo

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2839 on: November 21, 2016, 01:32:07 AM »
Gone on 3 OKC dates in about a week (all different women).

Felt absolutely nothing. :(
Hang in there! I'm sure it'll get better soon.

I went on a two day date this weekend. It's a polish girl living here in Stockholm, we went to see three movies at the Stockholm movie festival. She's really nice, spontanous and a bit crazy. Kinda my opposite really.  :lol We actually talked a bit about our differences, the fact that I'm an introvert with a bit of a social anxiety. Which she is almost the opposite off. I'm not sure this can last, but it sure feels good to make out with another person again. :lol So I'm gonna enjoy it while it lasts.
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Offline sylvan

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2840 on: November 22, 2016, 11:07:09 PM »
I haven't been actively looking for anything since I broke things off this summer with the last woman I was seeing for a while. Shortly after we stopped dating, I got a message from someone on OKC that seemed like she was really my type. We messaged for a couple days after making tentative plans for something during the week, and then I stopped hearing from her. It kinda bummed me out, but I was more pissed because I didn't seek it out. I wasn't out looking for that, but she brought some interest TO ME, and then I felt stupid when she left me hanging. Okay, whatever. Didn't think about it after a couple days. About a month ago, my friend tells me that she was talking about me with her friend and she thought I was cute. I got her number and texted with her for a couple weeks, again with plans to do something when she was free. Again, I just stop hearing from her. And again, kinda pissed cuz I didn't seek this out, it was literally HER idea to have me contact her. So my friend had a birthday party tonight and thought I would get a chance to finally meet her. My friend texts me yesterday and says she talked to her friend and she met someone and they're now dating (holy shit that was fast to exclusivity!). They both showed up tonight, and nobody was impressed by the dude. We never even spoke or technically met. It kinda bums me out...

... but then, it doesn't. I was apprehensive about going out with a 24 yr old. She wasn't even mature enough to tell me what was up. I was happy that at least my friend was pissed with her too. And what's up with just going all in with someone so quickly, especially when you've been talking to someone else and have talked about plans? I know she doesn't owe me anything, I'm just saying keep your options open.

And that brings me to what some people here have talked about: not wanting a "serious" relationship. I'm 8 yrs older than this person, we didn't have any immediately recognizable interests (she has certain physical problems that keep her from being very active, which I am VERY much so), and we've never even met. I think about how I don't wanna miss out on hanging out with my friends, or doing the things that I like to do. If I was with "her", I wouldn't be here doing this right now. I had no real interest in trying to establish something serious with this person. Yet, there's some conscious part of me that gets bummed about stuff like this. I think I was just lonely and excited to meet someone new.

The human mind is a funny thing... :facepalm: (/done venting to a computer screen)

Offline Prog Snob

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2841 on: November 23, 2016, 01:55:28 AM »
We all get excited with the thrill of the chase. But then once we have it we either lose interest or when they lose interest in us we get upset, even though we didn't want something serious to begin with. It was kind of immature what the other girl did to you. It was like she kept poking you with a stick but then left you there hanging. I know you think she met this guy and started dating quickly, but it's possible she was playing back and forth with the both of you which was why she was hot and cold with you.


I started talking to a girl named Milena. We met on Happn and spent today having small talk on that app. She seems like someone who is more forthright as opposed to playing guessing games. The only setback so far is that she lives in the Upper East Side of Manhattan. If we do decide to meet, traveling to see each other could pose a problem, but a step at a time.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2842 on: November 23, 2016, 06:48:36 AM »
I should probably take this to the "pisses me off" thread, but you know what pisses me off?

Happn
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What's with the stylized dropping of vowels?   Jeez, Lousise.  Aliens are going to land here and they're going to see Shakespeare, then Twain, then...   "grindr" and a bunch of messages like "Hey, boyz, ur the bomb 2B realz! LOLZ!" and think, "we're going somewhere else.  They're the cosmic equivalent of wasted at a kegger!".


Offline sylvan

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2843 on: November 23, 2016, 06:53:48 AM »
Now that I've been to Manhattan, all this NYC travel complaining makes sense lol. It was fun as hell walking around the UES (stayed at 5th and 90th) and catching the subway all over town. But, life? That would be a pain in the ass. I never thought much about travel time while I was there, but I never really went far at one time as I moved around the city. I can see how the prospect of connecting with someone that's "not close" is a questionable decision. But, I've met one woman in the last 15 that I would have been more than willing to try the long distance "not exactly as I planned it" relationship. So, maybe, it might be worth at least a try.

Offline sylvan

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2844 on: November 23, 2016, 06:58:00 AM »
Aliens are going to land here and they're going to see Shakespeare, then Twain, then...   "grindr" and a bunch of messages like "Hey, boyz, ur the bomb 2B realz! LOLZ!" and think, "we're going somewhere else.  They're the cosmic equivalent of wasted at a kegger!".


Online Stadler

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2845 on: November 23, 2016, 06:59:46 AM »
but it's possible she was playing back and forth with the both of you which was why she was hot and cold with you.

Sylvan, I think this is it.  Couple that with the current fad of selfish gratification, and the impersonality of the electronic communication media, and you've got a recipe for your feelings being hurt.

I feel like maybe I have a slightly different take on this, because I did the online dating thing, but usually - in part because I have a kid, in part because I have a conscience - went pretty quickly into the friend zone with several of the women I met.   It is not arrogance at all when I say that I could have added significantly to the notches on my bedpost (I've written about this before; the women 35-45, with a couple kids, and finally becoming aware that that asshole that was cool as shit in high school/college is now just an aging douche who's never going to be your "soulmate" and doesn't give fuck one about any shades of grey, let alone 50 of them.).    And in talking with those that I am still friends with, the experience for women is VERY different than the experience for men.  You, me, Snob, we have one or two or three, maybe, and we kind of look at them as "potentials", and some of these women - and no, they don't have to be model hot to have this - have 10 or 15 possibilities.   I've come to accept that it is a shade immature, and it is a shade insensitive, but I don't think it's done with malicious intent.  (But then, I could be wrong.)

Offline Lynxo

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2846 on: November 23, 2016, 07:58:39 AM »
Gone on 3 OKC dates in about a week (all different women).

Felt absolutely nothing. :(
Hang in there! I'm sure it'll get better soon.

I went on a two day date this weekend. It's a polish girl living here in Stockholm, we went to see three movies at the Stockholm movie festival. She's really nice, spontanous and a bit crazy. Kinda my opposite really.  :lol We actually talked a bit about our differences, the fact that I'm an introvert with a bit of a social anxiety. Which she is almost the opposite off. I'm not sure this can last, but it sure feels good to make out with another person again. :lol So I'm gonna enjoy it while it lasts.
Follow up on this...I may soon be leaving this club. :)

She and I will probably give this relationsship a try, and see where it leads us. Our differences kind of scares me - this will not be easy or simple. But I would be lying if I didn't say that this really excites me. :) No matter where this takes us, this will be something to remember, that's for sure. :lol

(Also, the sex is crazy good. Like stupid good. Like something out of this world. God fucking damn.)
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Offline Skeever

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2847 on: November 23, 2016, 08:05:54 AM »
I should probably take this to the "pisses me off" thread, but you know what pisses me off?

Happn
Grindr


What's with the stylized dropping of vowels?   Jeez, Lousise.  Aliens are going to land here and they're going to see Shakespeare, then Twain, then...   "grindr" and a bunch of messages like "Hey, boyz, ur the bomb 2B realz! LOLZ!" and think, "we're going somewhere else.  They're the cosmic equivalent of wasted at a kegger!".

Odd, didn't have you pinned as someone who spends a lot of time on Grindr  :lol

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2848 on: November 23, 2016, 08:09:46 AM »
Nice Lynxo, if you are happy then go for it, maybe opposites do attract.

Sylvan, I wouldn't put much thought into woman who stop talking to you if you've never met.  I think that's setting the expectation too high.  If a girl is on the market, she likely has many suitors so from my experience, if you don't meet, then there is no reason to expect someone to say "bye" to you essentially.  I've done it to plenty of girls and plenty have done it to me.  I don't think it matters if you matched on tinder or were recommended by a friend.  I get where it could be weird to meet then at a party though.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2849 on: November 23, 2016, 10:11:54 AM »
I should probably take this to the "pisses me off" thread, but you know what pisses me off?

Happn
Grindr


What's with the stylized dropping of vowels?   Jeez, Lousise.  Aliens are going to land here and they're going to see Shakespeare, then Twain, then...   "grindr" and a bunch of messages like "Hey, boyz, ur the bomb 2B realz! LOLZ!" and think, "we're going somewhere else.  They're the cosmic equivalent of wasted at a kegger!".

Odd, didn't have you pinned as someone who spends a lot of time on Grindr  :lol

Granted, not my target demographic, but bad syntax is bad syntax.  :)

Offline sylvan

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2850 on: November 23, 2016, 10:37:22 AM »
Nice Lynxo, if you are happy then go for it, maybe opposites do attract.

Sylvan, I wouldn't put much thought into woman who stop talking to you if you've never met.  I think that's setting the expectation too high.  If a girl is on the market, she likely has many suitors so from my experience, if you don't meet, then there is no reason to expect someone to say "bye" to you essentially.  I've done it to plenty of girls and plenty have done it to me.  I don't think it matters if you matched on tinder or were recommended by a friend.  I get where it could be weird to meet then at a party though.

Good for you Lynxo! But honestly, it seems like you're thinking about it too much. Differences are just a thing, but don't have to be the biggest of deals. Just roll with it. If you're into it, don't get bogged down by trivial shit. But then again, I watch my brother dismiss one thing after another that most men with a modicum of self respect would run away from as fast as possible. But he's a narcissist with no principles  :mehlin

Cram, I'm just looking for a little respect man! I think Stadler gets it. This isn't online dating, and I didn't invite this. If you're gonna have your friend set you up with one of her friends, act accordingly. I've had this same thing happen before after one date with a woman. She told me she wanted to date this other guy, and I respect her as much or more than anyone else I've dated. I just don't want to start expecting less out of people.

And that brings me to my next thought...

Offline sylvan

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2851 on: November 23, 2016, 10:44:57 AM »
...When did people become so "disposable"? It goes two ways. Two people go on a few dates, or whatever, and then one stops communicating completely. The person that's ignoring the other's attempts at communication finds that person to be disposable, as they think it's okay to just ignore and the problem will go away. How did this person become so disposable to "you" that you simply want them to go away with no contact whatsoever? Kinda shitty. BUT, "you" expect this person to just get the message and fade away into the ether. "You" expect them to find "you" just as disposable as "you" do them. And if they don't get the message, they're the idiot.

How did people become so full of self-loathing that they want someone else to consider them disposable?

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2852 on: November 23, 2016, 10:58:19 AM »
I dont think that is right, but I think it's different once you meet someone vs just speaking to them through text or even phone call, although phone convo is definitely more intimate than texting.  Like once you meet someone, I think it's respectful to say your aren't interested if that's the case and disrespectful to "dispose" of the person.  You both at that point put in the time in effort to meet, then you should put in the effort to say you no longer want to meet. 

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2853 on: November 23, 2016, 10:59:52 AM »
...When did people become so "disposable"? It goes two ways. Two people go on a few dates, or whatever, and then one stops communicating completely. The person that's ignoring the other's attempts at communication finds that person to be disposable, as they think it's okay to just ignore and the problem will go away. How did this person become so disposable to "you" that you simply want them to go away with no contact whatsoever? Kinda shitty. BUT, "you" expect this person to just get the message and fade away into the ether. "You" expect them to find "you" just as disposable as "you" do them. And if they don't get the message, they're the idiot.

How did people become so full of self-loathing that they want someone else to consider them disposable?

People have always been that way. The main difference now is how many options people have. 50 years ago, we were limited to the people we knew or would naturally meet. Now we have literally thousands of options at our finger tips. And unfortunately for us average blokes, it's women's choice. Such is life.
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2854 on: November 23, 2016, 11:13:44 AM »
...When did people become so "disposable"? It goes two ways. Two people go on a few dates, or whatever, and then one stops communicating completely. The person that's ignoring the other's attempts at communication finds that person to be disposable, as they think it's okay to just ignore and the problem will go away. How did this person become so disposable to "you" that you simply want them to go away with no contact whatsoever? Kinda shitty. BUT, "you" expect this person to just get the message and fade away into the ether. "You" expect them to find "you" just as disposable as "you" do them. And if they don't get the message, they're the idiot.

How did people become so full of self-loathing that they want someone else to consider them disposable?

People have always been that way. The main difference now is how many options people have. 50 years ago, we were limited to the people we knew or would naturally meet. Now we have literally thousands of options at our finger tips. And unfortunately for us average blokes, it's women's choice. Such is life.

Disagree about it's women's choice.  Men have a choice too, but fully agree with how easy it is now adays to be put in contact with people and just how easy it is to end that contact.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2855 on: November 23, 2016, 11:37:37 AM »
That old adage, "You'll find love when you stop looking for it" is very true.  The hard you try, the harder the disappointment.  It's just human nature.  Some can go without someone by their side for some time while others need to be with someone all the time.

 
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2856 on: November 23, 2016, 11:58:24 AM »
...When did people become so "disposable"? It goes two ways. Two people go on a few dates, or whatever, and then one stops communicating completely. The person that's ignoring the other's attempts at communication finds that person to be disposable, as they think it's okay to just ignore and the problem will go away. How did this person become so disposable to "you" that you simply want them to go away with no contact whatsoever? Kinda shitty. BUT, "you" expect this person to just get the message and fade away into the ether. "You" expect them to find "you" just as disposable as "you" do them. And if they don't get the message, they're the idiot.

How did people become so full of self-loathing that they want someone else to consider them disposable?

People have always been that way. The main difference now is how many options people have. 50 years ago, we were limited to the people we knew or would naturally meet. Now we have literally thousands of options at our finger tips. And unfortunately for us average blokes, it's women's choice. Such is life.
Disagree about it's women's choice.  Men have a choice too, but fully agree with how easy it is now adays to be put in contact with people and just how easy it is to end that contact.

lol obviously men have a choice. I meant more in the sense of like "a buyers market". For every woman you are really interested, at least 10 other guys are also interested.
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2857 on: November 23, 2016, 12:05:21 PM »
...When did people become so "disposable"? It goes two ways. Two people go on a few dates, or whatever, and then one stops communicating completely. The person that's ignoring the other's attempts at communication finds that person to be disposable, as they think it's okay to just ignore and the problem will go away. How did this person become so disposable to "you" that you simply want them to go away with no contact whatsoever? Kinda shitty. BUT, "you" expect this person to just get the message and fade away into the ether. "You" expect them to find "you" just as disposable as "you" do them. And if they don't get the message, they're the idiot.

How did people become so full of self-loathing that they want someone else to consider them disposable?

People have always been that way. The main difference now is how many options people have. 50 years ago, we were limited to the people we knew or would naturally meet. Now we have literally thousands of options at our finger tips. And unfortunately for us average blokes, it's women's choice. Such is life.
Disagree about it's women's choice.  Men have a choice too, but fully agree with how easy it is now adays to be put in contact with people and just how easy it is to end that contact.

lol obviously men have a choice. I meant more in the sense of like "a buyers market". For every woman you are really interested, at least 10 other guys are also interested.

Ah, true in a way.  I think that's mostly due to men being the initiators typically.  I'd bet there are 10 girls who want any guy as well, those ten girls just aren't typically actively shopping. 

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2858 on: November 23, 2016, 12:27:32 PM »
Very likely. But I should have said at least 10 guys actively pursuing to some degree. And that's a low estimate. There's probably hundreds with a general interest.

At some point it's just too hard to keep up with every lonely heart guy.
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Offline sylvan

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2859 on: November 23, 2016, 12:38:51 PM »
Well, in this specific case, she's hot (hotter than most I've been out with, but not all :loser:) and lives at the beach. There's NO DOUBT she gets a lot of attention. But I wasn't just another guy coming up to her at the bar. She essentially initiated this. But also, she really didn't make any effort to go out, kept her usual weekend plans with her friends, and was always mostly busy. Having said that, I'm even more confused what the point was.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2860 on: November 23, 2016, 01:44:48 PM »
Hey, checking in here! Phoenix - cram and I BOTH know what you went through, and it sounds to me like you made the right decision for yourself. :tup

As to the Deb.. I don't remember if I'd mentioned Skype talking with a gent a significant distance from me. I may have. Anyway, we still talk at least once a day if not multiple times (giggity) and recently we were both frustrated with life and I took his mood as him including me with his frustrations. As he told me, I could not have been more wrong. What we have may not ever be seriously serious but there is such an ease when we talk to each other (text chatting and voice). I do like him and I now know that the feeling is most definitely mutual. I also have him to thank for me being comfortable enough to recognize a facet of my personality that, looking back, I knew was always there. I just see this as two nerdy gamers getting over breakups (his was MUCH nastier than mine) and sharing fears, hopes.. pretty much everything. His friendship is truly a blessing and I'm very thankful for it.

Lynxo!! Buddy! Good job on potentially exiting The Club! I do agree with sylvan though - if you focus on your differences, that's all you'll eventually see. Don't get caught up in the differences being potentially negative - see it as a growing experience for the both of you. Being an introvert myself, I can really understand the fear of "putting yourself out there" or getting out of your comfort zone. Just be patient with yourself and don't beat yourself up over who you know you are.

LOL, Philosophical Deb is philosophical. XD

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2861 on: November 23, 2016, 02:16:18 PM »
Being an introvert myself, I can really understand the fear of "putting yourself out there" or getting out of your comfort zone. Just be patient with yourself and don't beat yourself up over who you know you are.

+1 from another introvert.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2862 on: November 23, 2016, 03:46:08 PM »
Well, in this specific case, she's hot (hotter than most I've been out with, but not all :loser:) and lives at the beach. There's NO DOUBT she gets a lot of attention. But I wasn't just another guy coming up to her at the bar. She essentially initiated this. But also, she really didn't make any effort to go out, kept her usual weekend plans with her friends, and was always mostly busy. Having said that, I'm even more confused what the point was.

Doesn't matter if she initiated it or not. Doesn't make it right either, I grant you. 

Offline NunoTenniscourt

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2863 on: November 23, 2016, 04:14:29 PM »
That old adage, "You'll find love when you stop looking for it" is very true.  The hard you try, the harder the disappointment.  It's just human nature.  Some can go without someone by their side for some time while others need to be with someone all the time.

I don't know about that. You can't expect it to come crashing through your ceiling. You have to put yourself out there. However, you just need not be coming from a place of desperation and trying to force it. That's when everything goes to shit.

Offline sylvan

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2864 on: November 23, 2016, 04:16:35 PM »
Doesn't matter if she initiated it or not. Doesn't make it right either, I grant you.

I meant more so that her initiation makes everything else confusing, not so much the ending of communication. Ya know, I expressed immediate concern when I was told she was 24. I suppose I shouldn't have been all that surprised with the final outcome. Although, immaturity and poor communication skills are not exclusive to any one age group.

That old adage, "You'll find love when you stop looking for it" is very true.  The hard you try, the harder the disappointment.  It's just human nature.

Funny enough, that's the mindset I've had the last couple months, and that's why this was kinda intriguing/exciting. After spending a lot of time "trying", something came around out of the blue. Then that went all to shit :corn.

Ninja's: I had the went to shit line before reading the last post  :rollin

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2865 on: November 23, 2016, 06:58:42 PM »
 :lol

Don't be discouraged.   I would look at it as she pulled this crap, this is how she would treat a relationship.   It will come. Enjoy life as it is right now.
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Offline Prog Snob

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2866 on: November 24, 2016, 09:28:39 PM »
I made it to the next step with this girl. We exchanged numbers. That's the furthest I've got with a woman in months. It's fucking sad.


Follow up on this...I may soon be leaving this club. :)

She and I will probably give this relationsship a try, and see where it leads us. Our differences kind of scares me - this will not be easy or simple. But I would be lying if I didn't say that this really excites me. :) No matter where this takes us, this will be something to remember, that's for sure. :lol

(Also, the sex is crazy good. Like stupid good. Like something out of this world. God fucking damn.)

Congrats! Good luck with everything.

...When did people become so "disposable"? It goes two ways. Two people go on a few dates, or whatever, and then one stops communicating completely. The person that's ignoring the other's attempts at communication finds that person to be disposable, as they think it's okay to just ignore and the problem will go away. How did this person become so disposable to "you" that you simply want them to go away with no contact whatsoever? Kinda shitty. BUT, "you" expect this person to just get the message and fade away into the ether. "You" expect them to find "you" just as disposable as "you" do them. And if they don't get the message, they're the idiot.

How did people become so full of self-loathing that they want someone else to consider them disposable?

We live in a world of apathy. There are distractions everywhere. We've forgotten how to treat people because we've become so desensitized that all we see is a name on a screen and forget there is a real person connected to that name. One that just wants a simple explanation. It's easy to be filled with hubris when you don't have to look someone in the eye.


Offline Lynxo

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2867 on: November 25, 2016, 05:38:08 AM »
Thanks for all the well wishes, guys. :)

Lynxo!! Buddy! Good job on potentially exiting The Club! I do agree with sylvan though - if you focus on your differences, that's all you'll eventually see. Don't get caught up in the differences being potentially negative - see it as a growing experience for the both of you. Being an introvert myself, I can really understand the fear of "putting yourself out there" or getting out of your comfort zone. Just be patient with yourself and don't beat yourself up over who you know you are.

LOL, Philosophical Deb is philosophical. XD
I know, I try to have that mind set. :) I've felt for several months I need to be challenged, I've been stuck in a rut for most of this year. This is a great way to break out of it. I'm sure there will be set backs (there's already been a few) but in the end, both she and I have much to gain from this. I feel really good about this. :)
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Offline TheCountOfNYC

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2868 on: November 25, 2016, 12:35:08 PM »
A month ago, my girlfriend of almost 8 years ended things with me. Three weeks after that she was already with someone else. I'm going through a rough time right now because I truly thought we would be together for the rest of our lives. She is the love of my life and I'm still trying to learn how to go through life without her. I have never felt heartbreak like this.
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2869 on: November 25, 2016, 12:38:03 PM »
A month ago, my girlfriend of almost 8 years ended things with me. Three weeks after that she was already with someone else. I'm going through a rough time right now because I truly thought we would be together for the rest of our lives. She is the love of my life and I'm still trying to learn how to go through life without her. I have never felt heartbreak like this.

You know what helps?

Bro-hugs!

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