Author Topic: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip  (Read 279384 times)

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2730 on: September 28, 2016, 07:40:12 AM »
I'd text her that day, if for no other reason than to get your number in her phone and let her know its you.  And yea, if you are going to see her the next day, then text her before that. 

Also, that's awesome that you made the move  :metal

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2731 on: September 28, 2016, 11:04:12 AM »
I'm going to message her later on. I am definitely interested in getting to know her. The age difference is the only issue but I guess we'll see what happens.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2732 on: September 29, 2016, 09:57:17 AM »

The three day rule is silly. There's no need to contact her immediately after getting her number, but any woman worth having can easily be snatched up by someone else in three days.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2733 on: September 29, 2016, 10:29:53 AM »
I don't get the 3 day thing at all.  Start communicating, what's the wait?  A 3 day mind game makes no sense to me.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2734 on: September 29, 2016, 04:37:20 PM »
Agreed. Sure, you don't want to look too eager, but you can absolutely text somebody in less time without looking like a weirdo. I'm so over those stupid games.
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2735 on: September 29, 2016, 04:41:11 PM »
You dig a person text, call. Don't hesitate.
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2736 on: September 29, 2016, 06:49:55 PM »
I didn't feel like playing these waiting games either so I said fuck it. I texted her last night and we went back and forth for a couple of hours. It seemed like it was going well. I messaged her again a few hours ago and I haven't heard from her. Maybe she's busy.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2737 on: September 30, 2016, 05:55:52 AM »
I don't get the 3 day thing at all.  Start communicating, what's the wait?  A 3 day mind game makes no sense to me.

It really is dumb, and a lot of guys seem to think women aren't aware of this "rule". They are completely aware of it, and find it lame most of the time.

However, one thing I absolutely will not do is get caught up in lengthy texting marathon sessions for a number of reasons. (it's fucking exhausting, being one of the biggest) I try to use texting/calling only for arranging to meet up or just a quick spontaneous attempt at something humorous to hopefully get her excited about meeting up. 

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2738 on: September 30, 2016, 06:06:56 AM »
Waiting is stupid. Shit or get off the pot.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2739 on: September 30, 2016, 06:27:35 AM »
It really is dumb,

Waiting is stupid.

What are we, back in third grade?  :lol

Kidding aside, I made my move and that's that..


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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2740 on: September 30, 2016, 06:31:33 AM »

Dilly-dallying is for poo poo heads.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2741 on: September 30, 2016, 06:38:59 AM »
However, one thing I absolutely will not do is get caught up in lengthy texting marathon sessions for a number of reasons. (it's fucking exhausting, being one of the biggest) I try to use texting/calling only for arranging to meet up or just a quick spontaneous attempt at something humorous to hopefully get her excited about meeting up.

I feel like texting is all anyone does (or messaging via another app).  I find I am always caught in a texting marathon and usually that means I am making progress with getting to know someone or getting closer to being comfortable with meeting up. 

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2742 on: September 30, 2016, 06:42:55 AM »

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2743 on: September 30, 2016, 06:53:47 AM »
However, one thing I absolutely will not do is get caught up in lengthy texting marathon sessions for a number of reasons. (it's fucking exhausting, being one of the biggest) I try to use texting/calling only for arranging to meet up or just a quick spontaneous attempt at something humorous to hopefully get her excited about meeting up.

I feel like texting is all anyone does (or messaging via another app).  I find I am always caught in a texting marathon and usually that means I am making progress with getting to know someone or getting closer to being comfortable with meeting up.

I text my girlfriend regularly throughout the day and most days it's the only thing that keeps me from losing my mind in my cubicle.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2744 on: September 30, 2016, 07:19:28 AM »
Oh yea, I text with 23yo a lot now (she didn't use to text so much but since weve been seeing each other so much, we text throughout the day constantly now).  It definitely helps keep me entertained through work.

Anyway, a funny and interesting story and pertains to lonely hearts.  This girl that is a good family friend that I've known since we were kids got married last year.  Her husbands a cool guy and all and I'd hang out with them every once in awhile or we'd see each other when our families got together.  Over the summer we ran into each other at a Slipknot concert and she told me to start inviting her to concerts that I go to.  So over the course of the summer she came with me to see 311, Disturbed, and I ran into her again at Korn.  Anyway, since we had hung out a few times over the summer she had started to open up a lot to me about her marriage problems.  Well now she is getting a divorce and she came to my annual bbq last weekend and was ALL OVER ME.  Like bad, and it was extremely uncomfortable.  My friend who also came to Disturbed thought she was into me then, but I told him she's married and I really doubt it.  But I think he was clearly right.  My parents stopped by my house that night and also noticed how she was acting.  My mom called me the other day just to tell me "do not fuck her"  :rollin which I definitely was not going to do, but that is some funny blunt motherly advice.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2745 on: September 30, 2016, 07:24:38 AM »
You dig a person text, call. Don't hesitate.

My first date with my now-wife was over at 10:00 (she had to be home for the sitter) and so I stopped for a quick nightcap at my local bar.  I was talking to one of the waitresses who knew of my date (gorgeous woman, literally half my age) and she asked how it went and I said "I was blown away" (I was).  Then I made a joke about "waiting three days" and she said point blank, "Fuck that, text her right now and tell her you had a great time."   I hedged, and she literally grabbed my phone and said "You do it or I do it" so I did it.  Best move ever.   

There are no rules; it's all about the people.  A girl who is creeped out about a quick text is going to find something else to be creeped out by, and a guy who is going to go all stalker after one date is going to find something else to be obsessive about.  You're not doing anything but delaying the inevitable. 

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2746 on: September 30, 2016, 07:25:06 AM »
Oh yea, I text with 23yo a lot now (she didn't use to text so much but since weve been seeing each other so much, we text throughout the day constantly now).  It definitely helps keep me entertained through work.

Anyway, a funny and interesting story and pertains to lonely hearts.  This girl that is a good family friend that I've known since we were kids got married last year.  Her husbands a cool guy and all and I'd hang out with them every once in awhile or we'd see each other when our families got together.  Over the summer we ran into each other at a Slipknot concert and she told me to start inviting her to concerts that I go to.  So over the course of the summer she came with me to see 311, Disturbed, and I ran into her again at Korn.  Anyway, since we had hung out a few times over the summer she had started to open up a lot to me about her marriage problems.  Well now she is getting a divorce and she came to my annual bbq last weekend and was ALL OVER ME.  Like bad, and it was extremely uncomfortable.  My friend who also came to Disturbed thought she was into me then, but I told him she's married and I really doubt it.  But I think he was clearly right.  My parents stopped by my house that night and also noticed how she was acting.  My mom called me the other day just to tell me "do not fuck her"  :rollin which I definitely was not going to do, but that is some funny blunt motherly advice.

 :lol

My mother would never say anything like that. My father on the other hand... A few years back when my friend's girlfriend had a thing for me and we wound up fucking, my father said, "real fucking nice, John. You fucked her."    :lol

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2747 on: September 30, 2016, 07:26:40 AM »
My mom called me the other day just to tell me "do not fuck her"  :rollin which I definitely was not going to do, but that is some funny blunt motherly advice.

Haha, I could very easily, and very happily, go through life without my mom ever telling me "do not fuck her!" about ANY woman.  Hahaha!

What's the deal; she not your type?  She's not your thing?   

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2748 on: September 30, 2016, 07:31:43 AM »
My mom called me the other day just to tell me "do not fuck her"  :rollin which I definitely was not going to do, but that is some funny blunt motherly advice.

Haha, I could very easily, and very happily, go through life without my mom ever telling me "do not fuck her!" about ANY woman.  Hahaha!

What's the deal; she not your type?  She's not your thing?

Too close of a family friend.  She's not my type either and I'd rather just be her friend.  I can only take her in small doses.  Also, she is still married and told me she doesn't plan on moving out for awhile which to me is a huge red flag for me.  My mother's reasoning was the same and I agreed with her.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2749 on: September 30, 2016, 07:40:46 AM »
However, one thing I absolutely will not do is get caught up in lengthy texting marathon sessions for a number of reasons. (it's fucking exhausting, being one of the biggest) I try to use texting/calling only for arranging to meet up or just a quick spontaneous attempt at something humorous to hopefully get her excited about meeting up.

I feel like texting is all anyone does (or messaging via another app).  I find I am always caught in a texting marathon and usually that means I am making progress with getting to know someone or getting closer to being comfortable with meeting up.

I'm not saying it's a guaranteed recipe for disaster all the time, but I've witnessed many of my friends bombarding women with excessive attention early on via text to the point that the women ended up growing to value the texting side of things more than the face to face meetings. They can still get an emotional connection and fulfillment without even having to get off the sofa, get ready and go out. A lot of times, the end result was the meetups kind of flatlined because the guys "blew their wad" in all the text exchanges, and ended up friendzoned.

I also think getting too caught up in the endless ping pong match of texting early on often sets people up to get worrisome and butthurt (WTF!! I haven't heard from her in 5 hours!!! What did I do wrong?!?!?! Is she texting another guy!!?!?) when there's a significant pause in the communication, and it really shouldn't be that way.

But overall, I just think it's better to make the biggest impact in person.


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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2750 on: September 30, 2016, 07:49:09 AM »
However, one thing I absolutely will not do is get caught up in lengthy texting marathon sessions for a number of reasons. (it's fucking exhausting, being one of the biggest) I try to use texting/calling only for arranging to meet up or just a quick spontaneous attempt at something humorous to hopefully get her excited about meeting up.

I feel like texting is all anyone does (or messaging via another app).  I find I am always caught in a texting marathon and usually that means I am making progress with getting to know someone or getting closer to being comfortable with meeting up.

I'm not saying it's a guaranteed recipe for disaster all the time, but I've witnessed many of my friends bombarding women with excessive attention early on via text to the point that the women ended up growing to value the texting side of things more than the face to face meetings. They can still get an emotional connection and fulfillment without even having to get off the sofa, get ready and go out. A lot of times, the end result was the meetups kind of flatlined because the guys "blew their wad" in all the text exchanges, and ended up friendzoned.

I also think getting too caught up in the endless ping pong match of texting early on often sets people up to get worrisome and butthurt (WTF!! I haven't heard from her in 5 hours!!! What did I do wrong?!?!?! Is she texting another guy!!?!?) when there's a significant pause in the communication, and it really shouldn't be that way.

But overall, I just think it's better to make the biggest impact in person.

Ah yes, definitely.  Got to have reciprocation.  Especially early, if the girl isn't responding, I don't keep texting.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2751 on: October 04, 2016, 12:29:23 PM »
Spent the weekend with my beautiful Russian friend. Was pretty much bliss. Essentially a brief vacation into a different reality where she and I would have been together.

Now back to reality, sadly.
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2752 on: October 04, 2016, 01:17:51 PM »
Reality bites

Sucks man

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2753 on: October 04, 2016, 01:30:35 PM »
Waiting is stupid. Shit or get off the pot.

I 100% agree. Girls want guys to seem interested. We want you to text us later that night or the next day. Otherwise, if you wait 3 or 4 days, we think you forgot about us and we're not "important" to you.. text, call, whatever. Communicate with us and we will reciprocate.
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2754 on: October 04, 2016, 03:29:31 PM »
Reality bites

Sucks man

Eh, just a little. I knew going in that we couldn't work out. So I wasn't disappointed . But what happened so far exceeded my expectations that I can't possibly feel anything but great about it
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2755 on: October 04, 2016, 03:47:41 PM »
Reality bites

Sucks man

Eh, just a little. I knew going in that we couldn't work out. So I wasn't disappointed . But what happened so far exceeded my expectations that I can't possibly feel anything but great about it

That's good then, nothing like having a great experience with someone else and having that great feeling after its over when you are reflecting on what happened.  Just sucks that you can't pursue that feeling. 

Waiting is stupid. Shit or get off the pot.
I 100% agree. Girls want guys to seem interested. We want you to text us later that night or the next day. Otherwise, if you wait 3 or 4 days, we think you forgot about us and we're not "important" to you.. text, call, whatever. Communicate with us and we will reciprocate.

Glad to hear a woman confirm this.  That's kind of what I felt, the waiting game is just that, a game.  Most people don't like games.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2756 on: October 04, 2016, 08:11:06 PM »
Still talking back and forth with Snow. I'm still not sure what inspired this messaging out of the blue. She said she isn't in the right frame of mind for a relationship, and obviously neither am I. I enjoy talking to her and we did agree to meet for coffee or a drink soon. Maybe this common ground will give us both some comfort and things will slowly fall into place. We'll see. I'm not pushing anything.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2757 on: October 05, 2016, 03:02:11 AM »
Glad to hear a woman confirm this.  That's kind of what I felt, the waiting game is just that, a game.  Most people don't like games.

Even though I believe the "three day rule" is silly, I do know there are women out there who are absolute suckers for push/pull games.
Ultimately, they end up being the kind of women you don't want (in terms of an actual relationship, anyway) but they're definitely out there.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2758 on: October 05, 2016, 09:25:57 AM »
Still talking back and forth with Snow. I'm still not sure what inspired this messaging out of the blue. She said she isn't in the right frame of mind for a relationship, and obviously neither am I. I enjoy talking to her and we did agree to meet for coffee or a drink soon. Maybe this common ground will give us both some comfort and things will slowly fall into place. We'll see. I'm not pushing anything.

This is great! Sometimes the relationship doesn't need to start out romantically, just a casual relationship where you can find common ground (as you mentioned).  Often times, that's what a person needs: a companion to just relate to. If something comes from it, then that's a bonus.

Glad to hear a woman confirm this.  That's kind of what I felt, the waiting game is just that, a game.  Most people don't like games.

Even though I believe the "three day rule" is silly, I do know there are women out there who are absolute suckers for push/pull games.
Ultimately, they end up being the kind of women you don't want (in terms of an actual relationship, anyway) but they're definitely out there.

Oh absolutely there are women who are still out there playing the push/pull game. There will always be childish women (and men) who just can't communicate like an adult. Annoying AF.
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2759 on: October 05, 2016, 09:49:31 AM »
Still talking back and forth with Snow. I'm still not sure what inspired this messaging out of the blue. She said she isn't in the right frame of mind for a relationship, and obviously neither am I. I enjoy talking to her and we did agree to meet for coffee or a drink soon. Maybe this common ground will give us both some comfort and things will slowly fall into place. We'll see. I'm not pushing anything.

This is great! Sometimes the relationship doesn't need to start out romantically, just a casual relationship where you can find common ground (as you mentioned).  Often times, that's what a person needs: a companion to just relate to. If something comes from it, then that's a bonus.

Okay, let's have that conversation now.   :)

I think there is something to be said for the "friend zone", but I think that "something" is that men and women DO think differently.  I have this "argument" with my wife regularly.  She is very attractive (legit beauty contestant winner) and she's one of those that says "Oh, most of my friends are men; women are too catty.".   And while I'm secure and don't let it affect our relationship, we do have the philosophical conversation that I think it is rarer than she would believe.

And what I mean is, they MAY be friends, but while she may have no interest in moving from the friend zone, I guarantee she would be surprised at how many of her "male friends" would evolve that relationship if given the opportunity.   And I'm not at all just assuming "they'd f--- her because she's hot".   I mean that we evaluate things differently.  I have friends that are female, but I'd be lying to you if there wasn't at some point - and with some, more than literally "one point" - that moment of consideration of "is this someone I'd take things to the next level with".   And some the answer is "no" - for various reasons, including respecting a relationship  she is in - but it was still a consideration.   

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2760 on: October 05, 2016, 10:04:36 AM »
Still talking back and forth with Snow. I'm still not sure what inspired this messaging out of the blue. She said she isn't in the right frame of mind for a relationship, and obviously neither am I. I enjoy talking to her and we did agree to meet for coffee or a drink soon. Maybe this common ground will give us both some comfort and things will slowly fall into place. We'll see. I'm not pushing anything.

This is great! Sometimes the relationship doesn't need to start out romantically, just a casual relationship where you can find common ground (as you mentioned).  Often times, that's what a person needs: a companion to just relate to. If something comes from it, then that's a bonus.

Glad to hear a woman confirm this.  That's kind of what I felt, the waiting game is just that, a game.  Most people don't like games.

Even though I believe the "three day rule" is silly, I do know there are women out there who are absolute suckers for push/pull games.
Ultimately, they end up being the kind of women you don't want (in terms of an actual relationship, anyway) but they're definitely out there.

Oh absolutely there are women who are still out there playing the push/pull game. There will always be childish women (and men) who just can't communicate like an adult. Annoying AF.

Yes, there are definitely women who orchestrate the game, but I was referring to the ones who actually end up getting sucked into it by the guy. They enjoy the intrigue and mystery of not being able to figure the guy out as he pushes her away one minute, only to pull her back in the next. Funny enough, these are often the same women you hear shouting "NO DRAMA!" from the mountain tops.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2761 on: October 05, 2016, 10:13:37 AM »
Still talking back and forth with Snow. I'm still not sure what inspired this messaging out of the blue. She said she isn't in the right frame of mind for a relationship, and obviously neither am I. I enjoy talking to her and we did agree to meet for coffee or a drink soon. Maybe this common ground will give us both some comfort and things will slowly fall into place. We'll see. I'm not pushing anything.

This is great! Sometimes the relationship doesn't need to start out romantically, just a casual relationship where you can find common ground (as you mentioned).  Often times, that's what a person needs: a companion to just relate to. If something comes from it, then that's a bonus.

Okay, let's have that conversation now.   :)

I think there is something to be said for the "friend zone", but I think that "something" is that men and women DO think differently.  I have this "argument" with my wife regularly.  She is very attractive (legit beauty contestant winner) and she's one of those that says "Oh, most of my friends are men; women are too catty.".   And while I'm secure and don't let it affect our relationship, we do have the philosophical conversation that I think it is rarer than she would believe.

And what I mean is, they MAY be friends, but while she may have no interest in moving from the friend zone, I guarantee she would be surprised at how many of her "male friends" would evolve that relationship if given the opportunity.   And I'm not at all just assuming "they'd f--- her because she's hot".   I mean that we evaluate things differently.  I have friends that are female, but I'd be lying to you if there wasn't at some point - and with some, more than literally "one point" - that moment of consideration of "is this someone I'd take things to the next level with".   And some the answer is "no" - for various reasons, including respecting a relationship  she is in - but it was still a consideration.

You're absolutely on point with this and I completely agree with you. There is a different perspective among males & females of the so-called (and sometimes dreaded) "Friend Zone". I definitely can relate to your wife in that I probably have more male than female friends but the reason for that is, I have such different interests than a lot of females so it's sometimes easier for me to relate to males. Now, this doesn't go to say that I am naive to the idea that some of these male friends are interested in evolving our friendship into something more or just a quick 1-nighter. BUT, I make it a point to keep my attitude, "flirting", and all other "signs" (for lack of a better word) in check when I'm around a male friend that I truly am wanting as just a friend. Is it probably super aggregating for him if he's wanting more? Yeah. But I've set my boundaries and it comes down to respect.

In the same breath, I will say that it's tough as a female to be put in the "Friend Zone" but still be led on.  I think when you start a relationship (just in general, not romantic) with someone of the opposite sex, it set's the tone and sometimes expectation of what path you're going down. Example: If you start out screwing on the first night then expect to go to the "Friend Zone", someone is not going to be a happy camper. However, if you start out truly as just friends, nothing physical and not going out on dates, then the tone of the relationship is (I think) set for friendship. Nothing more, nothing less. Thoughts?
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Offline oh8wrx

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2762 on: October 05, 2016, 10:16:32 AM »
Still talking back and forth with Snow. I'm still not sure what inspired this messaging out of the blue. She said she isn't in the right frame of mind for a relationship, and obviously neither am I. I enjoy talking to her and we did agree to meet for coffee or a drink soon. Maybe this common ground will give us both some comfort and things will slowly fall into place. We'll see. I'm not pushing anything.

This is great! Sometimes the relationship doesn't need to start out romantically, just a casual relationship where you can find common ground (as you mentioned).  Often times, that's what a person needs: a companion to just relate to. If something comes from it, then that's a bonus.

Glad to hear a woman confirm this.  That's kind of what I felt, the waiting game is just that, a game.  Most people don't like games.

Even though I believe the "three day rule" is silly, I do know there are women out there who are absolute suckers for push/pull games.
Ultimately, they end up being the kind of women you don't want (in terms of an actual relationship, anyway) but they're definitely out there.

Oh absolutely there are women who are still out there playing the push/pull game. There will always be childish women (and men) who just can't communicate like an adult. Annoying AF.

Yes, there are definitely women who orchestrate the game, but I was referring to the ones who actually end up getting sucked into it by the guy. They enjoy the intrigue and mystery of not being able to figure the guy out as he pushes her away one minute, only to pull her back in the next. Funny enough, these are often the same women you hear shouting "NO DRAMA!" from the mountain tops.

 :rollin :rollin :rollin this is true.. i will admit i have been in that situation where i got sucked into the game a guy was playing. HOWEVER, it never snowballed into a "no drama" rant, i kept it lowkey LOL
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Online cramx3

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2763 on: October 05, 2016, 11:52:02 AM »
And what I mean is, they MAY be friends, but while she may have no interest in moving from the friend zone, I guarantee she would be surprised at how many of her "male friends" would evolve that relationship if given the opportunity.   And I'm not at all just assuming "they'd f--- her because she's hot".   I mean that we evaluate things differently.  I have friends that are female, but I'd be lying to you if there wasn't at some point - and with some, more than literally "one point" - that moment of consideration of "is this someone I'd take things to the next level with".   And some the answer is "no" - for various reasons, including respecting a relationship  she is in - but it was still a consideration.

This, so much.  My ex could not understand this.  She friended many males and for the most part, no big deal to me.  I'm not the jealous type normally or anything.  However, there were instances of a guy here or there, from my view, was clearly wanting to be more than friends.  My ex would always deny.  "There's no way!"  but yes, as a guy, I know  the signs of a guy who wants more than friendship.

Having said that, my ex is now engaged to a guy I had met as her "friend" when we were still together.  Coincidence?

Offline oh8wrx

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2764 on: October 05, 2016, 11:54:01 AM »
Daaaammnnnn... sorry to hear that, shady business!

So, what are the signs you pick up on if a guy wants to be more than friends with a female?
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