Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip

[cramx3]

I ask myself that question a lot and it's good for some introspective on yourself.  You should go on that date and see what's out there.  If you aren't committed to that other girl, then you've done nothing wrong and what you have shouldn't be at risk.

[bout to crash]

Exactly. You're not giving up anything by going on a date with somebody else if you two aren't exclusive. But communication about what's going on always helps.

I almost molested two young men last night on my mini vacation. May try again tonight

[Prog Snob]

After another drought, I've managed to gather a few prospects again.

Angela - someone I've fucked in the past. It was purely friends with benefits at the time. We almost turned it into a serious relationship but both got dragged in different directions at the same time. She's an animal in bed and was exceedingly open to threesomes back in the day. Now, she is just getting out of a bad marriage, but we've been talking about getting together so we'll see what happens.

Ana - The girl from Cali. We're still talking on a daily basis and once she's transferred to a different home, I'm going out there to meet her.

Jodi - A 48 year old woman I just started talking to on OKCupid. She doesn't like playing the waiting game so she's already interested in meeting for coffee. She's definitely an enigma and a curious mind and that's such an attractive quality.

Alisa - Someone else I started talking to on OKCupid. It winds up she is cousins with one of my brother's close friends. She knows my brother from playing softball together, so I suppose the familiarity helps to ease some of the anxiety of meeting someone new.

Helen - Someone else from my past. I always had a thing for her but she was always dating some asshole who was mistreating her. Russian with killer eyes. She wants to get together so maybe 15 years later I'll finally be able to kiss her. We're taking it slow, though. Her fiancé died 3 years ago and she hasn't dated since then. Her first day on OKCupid I saw her so we'll see how it goes.

[cramx3]

Lots of options, some with history though.  Hopefully something works out.

My date Friday night got cancelled, she claimed she threw up on the street in NYC about two hours before we were supposed to meet.  I'm calling BS, she was scheduled to move to a new apartment early Saturday and I think she just made up an excuse so that she could rest.  Either way, she immediately rescheduled for Monday, but I pushed back until Thursday because today I have a date wtih 23yo tonight.  Honestly not sure what's up with her (23yo), her texting has always been poor, but it's gotten even worse.  I'm curious as to whether she will cancel tonight.

[Lynxo]

So I was going to have the second date with the girl I date about a week ago this evening. However, I still have a cold so I had to message her to cancel it. And was pleasantly surprised by how sad she was. She suggested Thursday, under the presumption that I'm better by then off course.
I'm really excited actually. This time, we're going to catch a movie at my place.

[Prog Snob]

Lots of options, some with history though.  Hopefully something works out.

My date Friday night got cancelled, she claimed she threw up on the street in NYC about two hours before we were supposed to meet.  I'm calling BS, she was scheduled to move to a new apartment early Saturday and I think she just made up an excuse so that she could rest.  Either way, she immediately rescheduled for Monday, but I pushed back until Thursday because today I have a date wtih 23yo tonight.  Honestly not sure what's up with her (23yo), her texting has always been poor, but it's gotten even worse.  I'm curious as to whether she will cancel tonight.

If her excuse was that she got sick on the street, either she's a really poor liar or she's being truthful about it. Nobody would be that specific unless it actually happened, but then again, some people are, like I said, really bad liars.

[Chino]

This is 2016... she couldn't take a picture of her puke and send it to you?

[Prog Snob]

This is 2016... she couldn't take a picture of her puke and send it to you?

It could have been someone else's puke. She would have to send a matching analysis of her blood and the puke.

[Lynxo]

[Chino]

 

Sometimes it's one of those things that's better left unsolved.

[cramx3]

 

The first thought was not "pic or did not happen"  This girl comes off as very honest so I want to believe her, just circumstances of the situation make me think otherwise.  Either way, it was probably the best date cancellation considering how quickly she rescheduled and the fact that it didn't ruin my friday night one bit.

Watched the Red Wedding of Game of Thrones last night with 23yo which was great.  I honestly don't understand how her communication is so poor through phone yet so great in person.  Like two totally different people.  Regardless, I am starting to feel like our connection to each other revolves mostly around game of thrones watching and not much else.  I'm starting to see this coming to an end at some point, but I enjoy her company so I'm not looking to end it, just starting to see no light at the end of the tunnel.

[bout to crash]

I feel the same way about the Russian with his communication. Mostly cold/non-existent from a distance, great in person. But I also feel like it's gotten worse. I feel like we have lost a lot of momentum and I'm not really sure where things are at. I think we are finally hanging out Thursday after almost three weeks (since we both left town) so I guess we'll see. I am thinking about asking him about the texting thing and whether he prefers some other method of communication, if I'm being annoying, etc. I dunno. I've been feeling a bit insecure lately, and so fucking tired of that.

[cramx3]

Well what other form of communication is there that is easier/more convenient than texting? 

At the end of the day, if we aren't on the same communication wavelength then things just won't work out long term since that's such a huge part of any lasting relationship.

[bout to crash]

Yeah... and I dunno, maybe he likes to email? A friend of mine suggested that. It sounds like the same shit to me, but my friend said he prefers email to texting. Or telepathy, maybe.

This dude has been so slow/inconsistent it's maddening! I often won't hear back until the next day, or at least many hours later. We still haven't actually solidified these plans for Thursday. I'm trying to map out my weekend (it's my birfday!) but I want to see him so I don't wanna totally book myself.

I feel like if I don't say something it's going to eat away at me, but I don't want to over-dramatize it. Maybe I can casually bring it up over dinner. *shrug*

[KevShmev]

What it comes down to is, some people like to text a lot and some people do not, and it sounds like he is in the latter category; I doubt talking to him about it will change anything. 

[bout to crash]

No, and it's not like I want constant communication, but a bit more of it would be nice. Like, I get that not everybody spends a lot of time on the phone but is it so hard to answer a question about hanging out within a day??
I don't expect him to change his style/habits if I whine about it, so I don't think that would serve any purpose... BUT maybe if he sees that snoozing means he misses out on hanging with me, he will be a bit more responsive. I need to stop waiting around to hear from him, even though I really want to see him.

I honestly have no idea if tomorrow is happening. This was our convo, basically:

Monday-
J: What is your week like? I'd love to have you in mine
R: I'm climbing tonight, tomorrow and Thursday. How about late Wednesday?
J: how late? I am free after work but do have to get up early Thurs. I'm also free Friday.

26 hours later/Tuesday-
R: Maybe Thursday would be better then
J: I am going to a beer tasting fundraiser Thursday. You could join us if you want, or I could maybe meet up afterwards but not sure when it ends. It's at 6.
R: I could come later because I'm busy til 730 or 8
J: I just found out it ends at 8, so we could hang out afterwards!
.....
Today-
J- (sends funny cat pic)

And nothing. So he never confirmed. I have no idea but I'm running out of fucks.

[cramx3]

My fucks would be gone if that's how my attempts to hang out went.  Either show interest or not, the wavering around leans to no interest from my view.  I don't like playing games like that.

[Chino]

Yeah.... That'd be the last time I ever spoke to that guy. 

[bout to crash]

Blegh.
I don't think I've given up completely (because it's not like this is a complete 180 in communication style or anything) but I'm done waiting around for him, that's for sure. I will basically be passing his apartment on my way home from the fundraiser tonight, so if I hear back from him and he wants to hang, sure. If I don't, then I will take that as my hint.

[Lynxo]

So I have my second date with the girl I met before tonight. We're going to watch a movie at my place. I have talked at length (probably too much ) about The Room so I'm going to introduce to the glory that is Tommy Wiseau.

[cramx3]

So I have my second date with the girl I met before tonight. We're going to watch a movie at my place. I have talked at length (probably too much ) about The Room so I'm going to introduce to the glory that is Tommy Wiseau.

She is coming to your place... so Im guessing "the room" is actually your bedroom and "the glory that is Tommy Wiseau" is actually your junk  sounds like a fun time!

Jackie, that's what you should just be doing since you got a lot of other options.  You put it out there and if he doesn't respond, don't hold your life back for him. 

I'm pretty excited to grab margaritas in the city later with Tennessee, assuming she does not puke on the street this afternoon.

[bout to crash]

, let's hope not!

And yeah, it's not like I'm low on options. I was just really diggin' our chemistry.

She is coming to your place... so Im guessing "the room" is actually your bedroom and "the glory that is Tommy Wiseau" is actually your junk  sounds like a fun time!

, please let this be true.

[carl320]

A little update from a few pages ago.

I have been seeing this woman for almost six months now (a little backstory, she is the ex of a former bandmate/friend of mine... needless to say the bandmate deleted me from all social media).  Things are alright, but I feel at times that we are way too similar.  Having commonalities is a good thing but it seems that she likes all the things I like.  Am I being paranoid?  I'm trying not to run away from what could be a good thing.

[bout to crash]

Yes you are ... I mean sure, you don't want to be dating yourself but if the commonalities aren't causing problems then who cares? Or are you worried she's just saying she likes the things because you do?

Sooo I did end up hanging out with the Russian tonight, and it was really nice, but brief. He has been really really busy. He gave me a bit more of a picture of what his days at work look like, which actually explains a good chunk of his lack of responsiveness. Anyway, we just had dinner and then he had to get to bed early, but he wants to hang again tomorrow. I'm on the fence because I have to get up hella early on Saturday, but I do want to see him again... and it's nice that he is initiating hanging out. Sooo we shall see. He is also planning on coming to my birthday party Sunday but I'd like some "alone" time too (he wants to go skating at the gay bar ), especially since I'm leaving town again soon.

I also had a really nice time with Ginger and Hubby at that fundraiser before dinner. We got to watch an epic storm/sunset. I have lipstick all over my ass...

[Lynxo]

So I have my second date with the girl I met before tonight. We're going to watch a movie at my place. I have talked at length (probably too much ) about The Room so I'm going to introduce to the glory that is Tommy Wiseau.

She is coming to your place... so Im guessing "the room" is actually your bedroom and "the glory that is Tommy Wiseau" is actually your junk  sounds like a fun time!

Actually, not too far from the truth.  It was a fun time! I never knew The Room and Braindead could work as foreplay. The more you know...

[cramx3]

I have lipstick all over my ass...

 

Cool things worked out!

So I have my second date with the girl I met before tonight. We're going to watch a movie at my place. I have talked at length (probably too much ) about The Room so I'm going to introduce to the glory that is Tommy Wiseau.

She is coming to your place... so Im guessing "the room" is actually your bedroom and "the glory that is Tommy Wiseau" is actually your junk  sounds like a fun time!

Actually, not too far from the truth.  It was a fun time! I never knew The Room and Braindead could work as foreplay. The more you know...

 

My date last night went well, once again a bit too much PDA for my liking.  I tried pulling away multiple times and she would pull me back in.  I honestly don't get it considering she told me she never even had a bf before and just kissing guys isn't something she does often since her parents were so strict on her growing up, her parents are hardcore christians from the south (Tennessee).  Anyway, we did make it to a park bench away from people which was much more comfortable after having some margaritas.  If only the bench was a bedroom since it seems like she wanted it which just felt very odd to me.  Anyway we went to the meatball shop after and then I needed to get home since it was late.  I still think this girl is ridiculously cute and genuine (we even talked about her cancellation and I believe her after talking about it) and she seems very much interested in me.  I think that's my biggest concern at the moment, she may like me a lot more than I like her.  We will see, only the second date and I am very much interested in another, I just hope to get her out of the city and into my backyard.

[Prog Snob]

 I have lipstick all over my ass...

[Stadler]

Blegh.
I don't think I've given up completely (because it's not like this is a complete 180 in communication style or anything) but I'm done waiting around for him, that's for sure. I will basically be passing his apartment on my way home from the fundraiser tonight, so if I hear back from him and he wants to hang, sure. If I don't, then I will take that as my hint.

I don't know.  I'm old, I call it "Twatter" and I yell at kids to get off my lawn, but there's "dating protocol" and then there's just plain courtesy.

If you were face to face, and you asked some "Hey, want to hang out tomorrow?" and they just turned and walked away, only to come back in six hours, and say "Uh, not sure, what day?"  And you respond immediately with "Thursday!" and they just turned and walked away, that'd just be plain rude.  It's not like he wasn't on his phone for the rest of the conversation.

As always, it's your call what you're willing to accept (and it doesn't make you a lesser person to accept that, by the way) but for me, that Russian would be in the "chicks I used to bang" category. 

[Stadler]

I have lipstick all over my ass...

 

Cool things worked out!

So I have my second date with the girl I met before tonight. We're going to watch a movie at my place. I have talked at length (probably too much ) about The Room so I'm going to introduce to the glory that is Tommy Wiseau.

She is coming to your place... so Im guessing "the room" is actually your bedroom and "the glory that is Tommy Wiseau" is actually your junk  sounds like a fun time!

Actually, not too far from the truth.  It was a fun time! I never knew The Room and Braindead could work as foreplay. The more you know...

 

My date last night went well, once again a bit too much PDA for my liking.  I tried pulling away multiple times and she would pull me back in.  I honestly don't get it considering she told me she never even had a bf before and just kissing guys isn't something she does often since her parents were so strict on her growing up, her parents are hardcore christians from the south (Tennessee).  Anyway, we did make it to a park bench away from people which was much more comfortable after having some margaritas.  If only the bench was a bedroom since it seems like she wanted it which just felt very odd to me.  Anyway we went to the meatball shop after and then I needed to get home since it was late.  I still think this girl is ridiculously cute and genuine (we even talked about her cancellation and I believe her after talking about it) and she seems very much interested in me.  I think that's my biggest concern at the moment, she may like me a lot more than I like her.  We will see, only the second date and I am very much interested in another, I just hope to get her out of the city and into my backyard.

I mean this in the nicest, most lovingest way a grown straight man who's not at all interested in a sword fight can to another grown straight man, but...

You think WAYYYYYY too much. 

[cramx3]

of course I do, I can't turn my mind off

[carl320]

Yes you are ... I mean sure, you don't want to be dating yourself but if the commonalities aren't causing problems then who cares? Or are you worried she's just saying she likes the things because you do?

I'm worried that she only likes things because I do.  It kind of keels like she wants things to move faster than I'm comfortable with    I feel like an ass though, since she's been having some medical issues, and they keep piling up.

[bout to crash]

Gotcha. I would say don't overthink it for now and just enjoy it! But that's easier said than done, I know all too well.

[King Postwhore]

Overthinking my friend.  Enjoy the momentspeed.  Stop overanalyzing.

[bout to crash]

I saw the Russian again last night. We spent a long time just sitting and talking at this brewery, which was really nice. Then we walked back to his place and watched a bit of Robocop, and he fell asleep, which was cute. I should have gone home way sooner because I had to get up mad early this morning and I've only gotten like four hours of sleep, but it was worth it

[cramx3]

 

Went to a local state park yesterday afternoon and did a hike with 23yo and her dog.  It was fun and different for our dates so it was nice.  She came back here for a bit and let her dog play in my yard since my house is ridiculously hot due to broken AC.  I'm trying to make plans with anyone today that will get me out of the house