Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip

[cramx3]

Sounds awesome 

My date went really well, she just left since she has to work in the morning  Had some good make out sessions.  She wasn't the best kisser, but during the first make out session I could feel her shaking like she was nervous.  By the 4th make out session we got into a good groove and the kissing was much better.  She didn't want to go any further since when it got heated up she said she had to leave.  It was definitely a fun night though, she said she wants to do more game of thrones watching with me.

Also, our sushi dinner was really cool.  One thing I like about this girl is her happiness and ease of conversation.  We got to the sushi joint and there was a 15 minute wait, no big deal.  We ended up waiting closer to 30 minutes and it felt like nothing because we both just chatted non stop.  They actually seated another group before us accidentally, they came to us to apologize and sat us in a private table as a way to get us seated quicker.  It was pretty nice secluded huge table and booth for just the two of us. 

[bout to crash]

The last coule posts= 
Woo for you guys!

Russian left this morning (for a baby birthday party, of all things). Obviously the night went well. We met for drinks/dinner at the beer garden near me, then he came back here and we watched Black Sheep, because nothing gets me hornier than the bleats of murderous livestock. He is hilarious and sexy and I really enjoy his company. He is definitely on the same page, which is nice. I won't go into the context but last night I told him I couldn't get enough of him and he said the feeling was mutual.
Not trying to look too eager but already wondering when we can hang again...
I did part from that meeting slightly unsatisfied physically  (mostly due to exhaustion last night/this morning) but that's probably a good thing with tonight's plans

[sylvan]

Damn Jackie, you got your finger in alotta pies  . Sounds like you and Ivan Drago are on your way to some good times.

I had a strange I interaction today. Short preface: went on one "date" (long hike, it was a nice time to be fair) with this woman, she told me she wanted to exclusively see someone else she had gone out with, I tried to be friends with her but she always seemed to resist when she had a boyfriend, I thought she moved with her Navy boyfriend to Washington (from FL) when I stopped hearing from her in January, I chatted with her very briefly two weekends ago.
This happened today:
K: Hi Dan. I know your intentions are good but I just really don't feel comfortable trying to form a friendship with a single guy I went on a date with once when I am not only in a very happy relationship but a long distance one. I wouldn't be happy if my bf were doing the same with girls where he is either. So I am a little confused about how to deal with texts and calls...I'm sure there are lots of other girls in Jacksonville  .
Me: Wowzers, can't let this one go. It's clear now that you never really accepted my intentions. All I ever wanted, after you said you wanted something else, was to be friends. I actively wanted that because I genuinely thought we could be close, good friends. I saw parallels with myself and was making efforts to have you in my life as a quality person, not a romantic interest. If you and your BF would both be uncomfortable with the other having a friend of the opposite sex, then you're BOTH insecure. I'm glad you took the time to say this two weeks after we last spoke, and the last time was 4 months before that. Sorry I made you so uncomfortable by being friendly. I spent my birthday at The Players today with the woman I'm dating, and now I'm gonna enjoy the Suns game with my friends, because they actually appreciate my friendship. Peace out.
Her: Ohkay then
Me: Yeah, enjoy Washington. I hear it's nice...

That really bums me out.  

[JayOctavarium]

I don't get it.

Being told for a year or whatever that we aren't a thing. We aren't together. Then getting so much shit because it looks like I am flirting with someone online.





--- Ok more details needed.


She and I play Warcaft together. We finally found a guild that we like... doing shit as a group (she and I and 2 other guild members). The guild chat gets  very suggestive. Lots of innuendos. Usually I just stfu. Tonight I was actually very unwound and was actually chit chatting. About the same level of suggestiveness you see me talk on here (because this a safe place for me ) and it causes a shit storm.

You cant fucking tell me to piss off and we aren't together, and then get pissed off about pointless meaningless chat. With a stranger. In a game.

[Prog Snob]

Ahhhh yes...the beautiful double standard. I've been there. It's frustrating. How bad is it? Is it a regular occurrence?

[JayOctavarium]

This is really the first time it's happened.. 

Things calmed down and we talked and shit and she kinda apologized...


This whole situation is a headache sometimes.

[cramx3]

Damn Jackie, you got your finger in alotta pies  . Sounds like you and Ivan Drago are on your way to some good times.

I had a strange I interaction today. Short preface: went on one "date" (long hike, it was a nice time to be fair) with this woman, she told me she wanted to exclusively see someone else she had gone out with, I tried to be friends with her but she always seemed to resist when she had a boyfriend, I thought she moved with her Navy boyfriend to Washington (from FL) when I stopped hearing from her in January, I chatted with her very briefly two weekends ago.
This happened today:
K: Hi Dan. I know your intentions are good but I just really don't feel comfortable trying to form a friendship with a single guy I went on a date with once when I am not only in a very happy relationship but a long distance one. I wouldn't be happy if my bf were doing the same with girls where he is either. So I am a little confused about how to deal with texts and calls...I'm sure there are lots of other girls in Jacksonville  .
Me: Wowzers, can't let this one go. It's clear now that you never really accepted my intentions. All I ever wanted, after you said you wanted something else, was to be friends. I actively wanted that because I genuinely thought we could be close, good friends. I saw parallels with myself and was making efforts to have you in my life as a quality person, not a romantic interest. If you and your BF would both be uncomfortable with the other having a friend of the opposite sex, then you're BOTH insecure. I'm glad you took the time to say this two weeks after we last spoke, and the last time was 4 months before that. Sorry I made you so uncomfortable by being friendly. I spent my birthday at The Players today with the woman I'm dating, and now I'm gonna enjoy the Suns game with my friends, because they actually appreciate my friendship. Peace out.
Her: Ohkay then
Me: Yeah, enjoy Washington. I hear it's nice...

That really bums me out.  

I think Jackie has a lot of fingers in her pie is more appropriate 

As for your friend. I don't get it either honestly, just let her be. I'm not entirely sure what you expect her to do and she made it clear she doesn't want to be friends. 

[Prog Snob]

This is really the first time it's happened.. 

Things calmed down and we talked and shit and she kinda apologized...


This whole situation is a headache sometimes.

I understand. You won't be able to defeat that mentality. It's best to either make the best of it or find someone less psychotic. 

[bout to crash]

Dan, wtf?? That was a really weird thing for her to do. Maybe her bf found out she had spoken to you and got mad? It does seem very insecure, the whole thing. You tried to be friends and she was weird so whatever, I guess that's it. Not a huge loss, obviously. I hope your date today is going awesome!

So last night was a lot of fun. Actually pretty mild as far as threesomes go. It was both of their first! Apparently he has had a thing for me for a while, but didn't think I liked him and they didn't want to bring it up before and make it seem like they were "unicorn hunting." But I think he is adorable and awkward, which I find endearing. I slept over, they made me breakfast and  we went to a carnival with their daughters, which was a lot of fun.

Vermont cancelled on me for later, which wasn't a surprise nor was I really disappointed because I'm exhausted, but he wants to try and hang next week. *shrug*

I was feeling really self conscious about the Russian because he never responded to a text I sent yesterday saying I was thinking of him while jogging when the Depeche Mode song "Just Can't Get Enough" came on (appropriate because of the interaction we had the other night, plus he likes Depeche Mode). But today he texted me something unrelated and seems to be his normal self (kind of short with his texting), so I dunno. I guess I'll reach out today or tomorrow and see if he wants to hang again.

[JayOctavarium]

Ah so those pics on FB are your ginger?


nice

[cramx3]

Looks like Thursday is another date night with 23yo and then Friday night I'll head into the city to meet this other girl I've been chatting with from Tennessee (might as well nickname her Tennessee).  This girl has been a blast to talk to, she is so damn cute and nice.  I can't wait to meet her.  She seems so genuine and real, not fake like half the girls I talk to.  Speaking of which, shoregirl, seems fake.  I can tell when I am being bullshitted and she is definitely doing that.  Pretty sure she is with another guy because her excuses for not responding to me are ridiculous.  I called her out on it just now and I don't expect a response (not being with another guy, but her not showing any interest since giving me her number).  I hate games and she is definitely playing them.  I got two girls who I am enjoying talking to so oh well to her.  I think I told myself I wouldn't get serious with any girls until I finished getting into shape... yea that didn't work, I can't help myself, I need a woman in my life 

[Stadler]

On a lighter note, DT Girl is taking me to The Players Championship tomorrow. I've been the last 5 years, but she's got corporate hospitality tickets, so I finally get some a/c relief from walking around in the May heat in Florida. Maybe I'll get a special birthday gift. There was talk of sexy lingerie. It's no threesome, but I'll take it  .

In my book, "banging her in the hospitality tent" is pretty close to "threesome" in enjoyability.

[Prog Snob]

Looks like Thursday is another date night with 23yo and then Friday night I'll head into the city to meet this other girl I've been chatting with from Tennessee (might as well nickname her Tennessee).  This girl has been a blast to talk to, she is so damn cute and nice.  I can't wait to meet her.  She seems so genuine and real, not fake like half the girls I talk to.  Speaking of which, shoregirl, seems fake.  I can tell when I am being bullshitted and she is definitely doing that.  Pretty sure she is with another guy because her excuses for not responding to me are ridiculous.  I called her out on it just now and I don't expect a response (not being with another guy, but her not showing any interest since giving me her number).  I hate games and she is definitely playing them.  I got two girls who I am enjoying talking to so oh well to her.  I think I told myself I wouldn't get serious with any girls until I finished getting into shape... yea that didn't work, I can't help myself, I need a woman in my life 

That's awesome. It's always nice to have more than one prospect. Not only is it a morale booster but it shows that there's hope with regards to there being some good women out there still.

[bout to crash]

Well looks like your hands are kinda full, cram! What do you mean about shoregirl's excuses, though? Like, she won't get back to you when you ask her stuff, or what?

Speaking of, I am still getting used to Russian's bare bones texting, and struggling with wanting to make plans but not look too eager. I've just been trying to keep it light, sending him dog pics and whatnot...

[Phoenix87x]

Anybody have any dating site preferences?

I've only messed with OK Cupid and did have some dates, but didn't really find what I was looking for. I think I am going to try match.com next.

[cramx3]

Well looks like your hands are kinda full, cram! What do you mean about shoregirl's excuses, though? Like, she won't get back to you when you ask her stuff, or what?

Her responses sometimes take days and I won't send multiple messages so when she finally responds, she often ignores the last message from days ago that I sent.  Before my good bye text I had asked to get drinks to make it easier to speak for which I didn't get a response and that was the last time I try.  With other girls showing actual interest, there's no point in me wasting my time with a girl who can't even give 10% of my effort back.  She's either just not interested and wasn't mean enough to just say so (or stop responding all together) or she is seeing someone (that's what I truly believe, since she shows the same patterns as other girls who have done that from my experience). 

Anybody have any dating site preferences?

I've only messed with OK Cupid and did have some dates, but didn't really find what I was looking for. I think I am going to try match.com next.

I've only used OKC and Tinder.  Both have ups and downs.

[bout to crash]

Oh yeah, that's really lame. Good riddance to her!

[Lynxo]

So I'm a member of this Facebook group dating site, where people just put up posts about themselves and what they're looking for and other people can answer if it sounds interesting. I wrote together a post of my own and got an answer from a really cute girl. She's poly, which is probably just as well - although I've always been all for monogamy in the past, I feel like I right now don't really want that kind of relationship.
Anyway, after talking for a while, I suggested meeting up for a beer or something, which we will do sometime next week. It's been about 8 months since I went on a date or slept with someone. I'm sure I'm gonna be nervous as all hell.

[cramx3]

Awesome 

[bout to crash]

Yessss, join the dark (non-monogamous) side.

I tried to make weekend plans with The Russian last night because my schedule is filling up, and he said he would really like to see me soon, but we haven't solidified anything. He said he had no plans this weekend, but seemed a bit overwhelmed with the idea of making them right then. *shrug*
I think I just need to chill out and realize some people aren't planners as much as I am, but it stresses me out. Obviously he wants to hang with me or he wouldn't bother with all this. I think it's partially that my own schedule has become so crazy that I want to make sure I have time for the people I reallllly want to see, including him.

Meanwhile, Vermont and a made tentative plans for Saturday but who knows if it will happen.

On the bright side, Ginger's hubby is coming over to look at my garbage disposal tonight

[cramx3]

A legit plumbing porno in the making

I feel like everytime I read your (Jackie) posts I see so much of myself (not in terms of sex, but the way you feel and react to things).  I am also more of a planner and start getting really anxious when I am trying to make plans and the other person is being lazy about it.  If I don't make plans then I end up getting booked up and maybe miss something with someone.  Usually my parents are at the bad end of this since they refuse to make any plans that aren't last minute and therefore I'm never available for dinner with them it seems.  Everyone's different I guess, but when I try to make plans with a girl and I get that type of response (especially one where you don't have plans yet won't commit to something) I start to get really frustrated.

[Stadler]

As a non-planner (for the most part), I respectfully ask:  there's no frustration the other way?   I suppose it works for you when your number one choice locks in early, but at least for me, I rarely have "one thing" that is so overwhelmingly my favorite that every weekend is sort of a competition between "eh" choices.   So for me, I feel like it rarely makes a difference.   In fact, it often works the other way; I lock in on something, and at the last minute I get the call "Hey two tickets to the UConn game!" or "Hey, couple of us are meeting at so-and-so's, want to come over?"   Uh, I'd love to but I locked in to raking leaves at my son-in-laws house... WAH-wah....

[cramx3]

How is it frustrating to not make plans?  The world revolves around you?  I'm selfish as fuck, but damn I won't deny plans for something fun if I don't have anything planned just to suit my "maybe something else is better" and let the person trying to make plans with me wait it out.  Makes no sense to me.  If someone says they got free tickets, you can always change your plans.  If something better comes up, people are usually understanding.

If I have a few options, then that is reason to not commit, but if you have no plans, then you have no options so why not make plans?

[The Trooper]

I am a planner, job hazard so to say. Some would say on the social end a BIG fault of mine.BUT..........my job usually f's my social planning up. It has ruined a lot of friends and my now ex wife. So be it.

[Stadler]

How is it frustrating to not make plans?  The world revolves around you?  I'm selfish as fuck, but damn I won't deny plans for something fun if I don't have anything planned just to suit my "maybe something else is better" and let the person trying to make plans with me wait it out.  Makes no sense to me.  If someone says they got free tickets, you can always change your plans.  If something better comes up, people are usually understanding.

If I have a few options, then that is reason to not commit, but if you have no plans, then you have no options so why not make plans?

I'm sorry, boss, I'm not quite following.   All I was saying is that, if I REALLY want to be with that person, it doesn't matter if I'm locked in on Monday or Tuesday or if it's spur of the moment.    I just "manage" that in my head; "first I'm going on a date with BigTitties, and if that doesn't work, maybe I'll cut the grass, or paint the kitchen, or call my bud Socrates to see if he wants to grab a beer and watch the NASCAR race."

I'm not suggesting I'm right, or that you should do what I do; I get that all people are different.  I'm just - honestly and in good faith - asking if you feel frustration the other way, that is, locking in to plans on Monday and then missing out on a better deal that comes about on Friday. 

[cramx3]

Totally confused apparently on what you meant.  But yes, that does definitely happen.  And like you, I usually leave the options in my head for back up plans.  If I commit to something I try to make sure I do it though even if something better does pop up, but sometimes that something better is too good and I'll cancel plans.  It's not right, but like I said, people are often understanding.  I think it's much more rare that I'm frustrated from plans I did make vs. the plans someone won't commit with me.

[KevShmev]

I'm a planner as well, but I get that others like to leave their options open instead of feeling compelled to do the first thing asked of them, generally speaking (not necessarily referring to dating).

[Prog Snob]

So I'm a member of this Facebook group dating site, where people just put up posts about themselves and what they're looking for and other people can answer if it sounds interesting. I wrote together a post of my own and got an answer from a really cute girl. She's poly, which is probably just as well - although I've always been all for monogamy in the past, I feel like I right now don't really want that kind of relationship.
Anyway, after talking for a while, I suggested meeting up for a beer or something, which we will do sometime next week. It's been about 8 months since I went on a date or slept with someone. I'm sure I'm gonna be nervous as all hell.

Is it a local group or can anyone join it?

[bout to crash]

I'm glad to see I'm not alone on the planning thing. There are always lots of options, but when I am dating a new person or am just really into someone I want to try and prioritize that... so yeah, sometimes I will hold out on planning other stuff because so and so stI'll hasn't gotten back to me. I don't like to do it, but if I don't I end up maybe not able to see that person for a long time because I planned other stuff. I don't like backing out of stuff once it's scheduled. In a perfect world it would all be more spontaneous, but I feel like I don't get to do that as much anymore.

[Adami]

I'm glad to see I'm not alone on the planning thing. There are always lots of options, but when I am dating a new person or am just really into someone I want to try and prioritize that... so yeah, sometimes I will hold out on planning other stuff because so and so stI'll hasn't gotten back to me. I don't like to do it, but if I don't I end up maybe not able to see that person for a long time because I planned other stuff. I don't like backing out of stuff once it's scheduled. In a perfect world it would all be more spontaneous, but I feel like I don't get to do that as much anymore.

I was going to reply to this, but I checked and I hadn't planned on it. Sorry.

[King Postwhore]

So I'm a member of this Facebook group dating site, where people just put up posts about themselves and what they're looking for and other people can answer if it sounds interesting. I wrote together a post of my own and got an answer from a really cute girl. She's poly, which is probably just as well - although I've always been all for monogamy in the past, I feel like I right now don't really want that kind of relationship.
Anyway, after talking for a while, I suggested meeting up for a beer or something, which we will do sometime next week. It's been about 8 months since I went on a date or slept with someone. I'm sure I'm gonna be nervous as all hell.

Is it a local group or can anyone join it?

 

[Prog Snob]

You can't just keep me all to yourself.

[King Postwhore]

I'm worried about the others out there.

[Prog Snob]

Others?

[King Postwhore]

I'm worried about them too!