Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip

[cramx3]

So, let's see. I'm talking to a few different women right now.

Jenn - She lives on the island. 37. Single. No Kids. Just got out of an engagement. She wants to meet up tomorrow for coffee.
Chrissy - She also lives on the island. 36. Recently widowed. No kids. She wants to meet Thursday.
Valerie - Lives on Staten Island. 31. Single. No Kids. Works a lot. Is only available after hours. Next early night she gets we're meeting for coffee, which could be later, tomorrow, the day after.

And I've fallen hard for someone I can't have, because I'm a glutton for punishment.

You going to meet all these girls?  Sounds like your evenings just got booked 

[Prog Snob]

I'm supposed to meet Jenn tonight, but her mother got rushed to the hospital. Her kidneys are failing. I think those plans will be cancelled. We'll see. Chrissy I am definitely meeting tomorrow night. We're going to meet at Starbucks. Val is the one that I really want to work out. She is definitely the kind of girl people could see me dating. She works for a special effects artist that does work for haunted attractions. She basically puts together fake corpses. Like I said, most people would look at her and go, "that's definitely the kind of girl I could see John dating."

[cramx3]

  that's great, good luck tomorrow, sucks about Jenn's mother though.

[Prog Snob]

that's great, good luck tomorrow, sucks about Jenn's mother though.

I haven't heard back from her yet. I hope everything is alright.

I'm hoping one of them works out because I have my cousin's wedding in a couple of weeks and I put me down with a 'plus 1'. I thought I was going to be taking that last girl, but that obviously fell through.

[The Trooper]

that's great, good luck tomorrow, sucks about Jenn's mother though.

I haven't heard back from her yet. I hope everything is alright.

I'm hoping one of them works out because I have my cousin's wedding in a couple of weeks and I put me down with a 'plus 1'. I thought I was going to be taking that last girl, but that obviously fell through.

I will go with you if you go to my niece's wedding in June with me here in Joisey

[Prog Snob]

that's great, good luck tomorrow, sucks about Jenn's mother though.

I haven't heard back from her yet. I hope everything is alright.

I'm hoping one of them works out because I have my cousin's wedding in a couple of weeks and I put me down with a 'plus 1'. I thought I was going to be taking that last girl, but that obviously fell through.

I will go with you if you go to my niece's wedding in June with me here in Joisey

Funnily enough, my cousin's wedding is in Jersey.    And don't think because I have a couple of drinks I'm a sure thing.

[cramx3]

 

Sooo I have my cousin's wedding in June as well in NJ... are we all going to the same one?

[The Trooper]

ok 10 drinks will get you there Prog!

lol that would be ironic if it was the same wedding LOL

[Prog Snob]

Sooo I have my cousin's wedding in June as well in NJ... are we all going to the same one?

ok 10 drinks will get you there Prog!

lol that would be ironic if it was the same wedding LOL

This one is towards the end of May. That would have been pretty fucking hysterical if we were all going to the same exact wedding, though.

By the way, Jenn cancelled for tonight. It's totally understandable, though. Her mother is still in the hospital.

[Prog Snob]

I'm meeting Chrissy in a few minutes. Let's see how it goes.

[Adami]

I'm meeting Chrissy in a few minutes. Let's see how it goes.

The 36 year old whose husband just died?

Do you plan on charging an extra baggage fee for her? I feel like she will be bringing far more than 1 item. Not to mention a carry on.

[cramx3]

I'm meeting Chrissy in a few minutes. Let's see how it goes.

The 36 year old whose husband just died?

Do you plan on charging an extra baggage fee for her? I feel like she will be bringing far more than 1 item. Not to mention a carry on.

I believe that was Jenn, but  regardless

[Prog Snob]

I'm meeting Chrissy in a few minutes. Let's see how it goes.

The 36 year old whose husband just died?

Do you plan on charging an extra baggage fee for her? I feel like she will be bringing far more than 1 item. Not to mention a carry on.

I believe that was Jenn, but  regardless

Haha

It went alright but it was nothing mind-blowing.

[cramx3]

I'm meeting Chrissy in a few minutes. Let's see how it goes.

The 36 year old whose husband just died?

Do you plan on charging an extra baggage fee for her? I feel like she will be bringing far more than 1 item. Not to mention a carry on.

I believe that was Jenn, but  regardless

Haha

It went alright but it was nothing mind-blowing.

Would you see her again though?

[Prog Snob]

No. This girl Valerie and I are really hitting it off. We've already made plans to do a few things like check out haunted locations and some other exploring. She's really big into the paranormal, so when I told her about my experience, she nearly lost it.    Getting to see her is the hard part because she usually works till midnite or so. Her only day off is Saturday, but I really like this girl so I'm willing to make it work.  This is the company she builds props for. 

https://creepycollection.com/

[cramx3]

No. This girl Valerie and I are really hitting it off. We've already made plans to do a few things like check out haunted locations and some other exploring. She's really big into the paranormal, so when I told her about my experience, she nearly lost it.    Getting to see her is the hard part because she usually works till midnite or so. Her only day off is Saturday, but I really like this girl so I'm willing to make it work.  This is the company she builds props for. 

https://creepycollection.com/

awesome, but since you didn't say anything bad about that last date even though it wasn't mind blowing, maybe you shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket.

Was browsing okcupid last night and found a girl who was really cute and above my level of girl that would respond to me, but in her pictures she was holding her master's degree and therefore showed her name.  So I said Hey (her name) just fyi you should maybe edit that photo since you are giving out some info to many creeps.  She said thanks lol.  I did my good deed for the day.

[Prog Snob]

No. This girl Valerie and I are really hitting it off. We've already made plans to do a few things like check out haunted locations and some other exploring. She's really big into the paranormal, so when I told her about my experience, she nearly lost it.    Getting to see her is the hard part because she usually works till midnite or so. Her only day off is Saturday, but I really like this girl so I'm willing to make it work.  This is the company she builds props for. 

https://creepycollection.com/

awesome, but since you didn't say anything bad about that last date even though it wasn't mind blowing, maybe you shouldn't put all your eggs in one basket.

Was browsing okcupid last night and found a girl who was really cute and above my level of girl that would respond to me, but in her pictures she was holding her master's degree and therefore showed her name.  So I said Hey (her name) just fyi you should maybe edit that photo since you are giving out some info to many creeps.  She said thanks lol.  I did my good deed for the day.

I'm still going to talk to last night's date, but I'm putting more effort into Valerie. You're right. Past experiences dictating, I don't want to put all my dragons in one khaleesi.

Who was it? Like I've said before, I wonder if we've gone after the same girl at some point.   

[cramx3]

Shoregirl83, she is hot, but lets see if that niceness can turn into an actual conversation.... regardless, she took the picture down.

[Prog Snob]

Shoregirl83, she is hot, but lets see if that niceness can turn into an actual conversation.... regardless, she took the picture down.

She has a great smile. Go for it.

[cramx3]

Shoregirl83, she is hot, but lets see if that niceness can turn into an actual conversation.... regardless, she took the picture down.

She has a great smile. Go for it.

Oh I already did, she was chatting a bit this morning with me but all about stalkers on dating sites, but I just changed subjects to see if we could start an actual conversations... that's when I know if she is interested (unlikely) or just being nice back since I pointed her mistake out to her.

[Prog Snob]

Shoregirl83, she is hot, but lets see if that niceness can turn into an actual conversation.... regardless, she took the picture down.

She has a great smile. Go for it.

Oh I already did, she was chatting a bit this morning with me but all about stalkers on dating sites, but I just changed subjects to see if we could start an actual conversations... that's when I know if she is interested (unlikely) or just being nice back since I pointed her mistake out to her.

You have nothing to lose.

[cramx3]

That's my motto for dating

[Prog Snob]

It's a good motto to have.

[bout to crash]

I just had my date with the Brooklyn guy. We talked nonstop for almost three hours and he is super cool, but I found him hard to read in the end. He said he had to go to bed early and we parted ways at like 9:45. To be fair, he does seem to stop responding to my texts fairly early in the night and I've always assumed he goes to bed fairly early, but I still don't know how to interpret it. He did say he had fun and wants to hang again, but only went in for the hug. So I dunno. I texted him after and he responded so I guess that's a good sign, but I'm just gonna leave the ball in his court at this point. If I had gotten more of an obvious vibe I might be more aggressive since I am trying to work on that, but I'm feeling uncertain.

[cramx3]

I think this wasn't your first date with him so just a hug is odd, but maybe he likes you and wants to take it slow, since he seems like he does have interest.

I think I've gotten like 8 numbers over the course of the last week or so from Tinder and OKC, but have not come close to actually meeting anyone (besides the old lady for a walk last week  ).  Been working out every day and dieting so still in that mode which is good and really not interested in meeting anyone still, but one of the girls I was talking to seems pretty interesting and is being aggressive with wanting to meet so maybe next week I put some effort into this.

[bout to crash]

That's cool... and this was actually our first date. So I dunno. The more I thought about it last night I feel like I may have given off a bad vibe when we were parting ways because I didn't give him any definite answers on hanging out. He said something about his availability and how he could come to my hood and I was just anxious wondering if he was gonna kiss me and maybe didn't give him an indication of wanting to hang again... you know when the stuff a person says just goes in one ear and out the other because you're in that headspace?
I know he's super busy today with editing his podcast but I may send him something friendly later on if I don't hear from him.

[cramx3]

Oh, if it was first date then as long as he showed interest and said the right things (I had fun, lets hang again, blah blah) then I wouldn't worry about his interest.  I often don't kiss on first dates.

[JayOctavarium]

So a friend of mine whom I haven't seen in 11 years is about an hour away from me right now. (I've talked about her... I kinda dated her twin sister in Jr. High...) She is stationed in San Diego in the Navy, and finally got her car out here from the East Coast, and is making the 4 hour drive up here just to spend the afternoon / evening with me. We are gonna go bowling and hit up a bar my buddy is playing.  It's not a date... just meeting up with an old friend who happens to be female and incredibly beautiful. Haha.

[cramx3]

Well enjoy!  Made it to AC, time for some fun!

[bout to crash]

Woooo, enjoy!

So I think Brooklyn is probably done. I ended up reaching out to him by sending a pic of this movie I had been telling him about and was excited to get. He gave a short reply and then said nothing when I asked how his day was going. That was like 8-9 hours ago, so I'm assuming he's not THAT busy even though he was working all day. I'm slightly disappointed but not super bummed- I really enjoyed talking to him, but no fireworks. I actually found a video of his standup and the first thing he talks about is a bad experience meeting a girl on OKC, so who knows- something I did (or my hideous appearance) could make it into a joke

On a brighter note, this afternoon I met up with that other guy from OKC (let's call him The Russian) who seemed cool enough but I wasn't super excited about it... and we ended up having a really nice time! He is better looking in person than his pics, and very interesting. We seem to have a good deal in common. He's slightly awkward, which is cute, and charming. I got a peck goodbye from him, which was nice. Hopefully we can plan another day to get together soon, though he seems maybe busier than me (he's a student and researcher) so we shall see when that can happen. This is the second time recently that I've gone in with few expectations and been pleasantly surprised, which is always nice.

On a totally different note, since I'm rambling tonight:
After a period of not talking at all and then talking a bit, I have been occasionally hanging out with the ex who I broke up with last June, who I had dated for over a year (video store guy). I always maintained that I wanted to be friends when we were both ready, and we've hung out a couple of times in the last few weeks- we saw a movie together 2-3 weeks ago (we're both huge movie people- he went to school for film), and then last night we hung out for a bit and had pizza (long story, but he got me a movie I wanted and I told him I would buy him quality pizza in exchange, because he's super broke). It's been platonic, at least on my end- even though I am still attracted to him, I know we don't work as a couple. But I've been getting some vibes from him, and mostly ignoring them/hoping I was misreading. Well tonight I saw him when I went into the store, and then when he got off work he came into the bar nearby where my friend and I were having a beer. Well, my friend had some observations to share when we left, such as "He is madly in love with you." She said she was reading his body language and everything and it was all about me.
I was like  , because I know she's right but I've been hoping it wasn't the case. To have an outsider come in and be like "Yep" was... I dunno, helpful, I guess. It's hard, I want to be friends with him and really enjoy his company but don't want to mislead him. I don't think I'm being flirty or anything like that, just trying to be friendly. I think I just need to keep maintaining that boundary. Any input, y'all?

[KevShmev]

On a totally different note, since I'm rambling tonight:
After a period of not talking at all and then talking a bit, I have been occasionally hanging out with the ex who I broke up with last June, who I had dated for over a year (video store guy). I always maintained that I wanted to be friends when we were both ready, and we've hung out a couple of times in the last few weeks- we saw a movie together 2-3 weeks ago (we're both huge movie people- he went to school for film), and then last night we hung out for a bit and had pizza (long story, but he got me a movie I wanted and I told him I would buy him quality pizza in exchange, because he's super broke). It's been platonic, at least on my end- even though I am still attracted to him, I know we don't work as a couple. But I've been getting some vibes from him, and mostly ignoring them/hoping I was misreading. Well tonight I saw him when I went into the store, and then when he got off work he came into the bar nearby where my friend and I were having a beer. Well, my friend had some observations to share when we left, such as "He is madly in love with you." She said she was reading his body language and everything and it was all about me.
I was like  , because I know she's right but I've been hoping it wasn't the case. To have an outsider come in and be like "Yep" was... I dunno, helpful, I guess. It's hard, I want to be friends with him and really enjoy his company but don't want to mislead him. I don't think I'm being flirty or anything like that, just trying to be friendly. I think I just need to keep maintaining that boundary. Any input, y'all?

Well, if he really is "madly in love with you," staying friends will be difficult since you will always be thinking of ways to not mislead him, and it's doubtful that his feelings won't change no matter what you say or do.  Not saying anything could leave the whole thing festering just beneath the surface (pun intended , and saying something could result in a conversation where one of you feels on the way and the other another way, leading to major weirdness.  Good luck.

[sylvan]

Jackie, that sucks about Brooklyn. I know what you mean about being interested in someone, but not being "invested" too much yet. Just because there's no fireworks doesn't mean you won't be disappointed in some way. Maybe the Russian can be a good replacement for him. I'm curious about your thoughts on how Brooklyn DIDN'T kiss you and how that has manifested, and how the Russian DID kiss you and how your thought on him have developed after not having high expectations. And I'm also interested reading your thoughts on Video Store guy. I think about someone specific that I would love to have in my life in someway, but I know deep down I wouldn't be satisfied with only being friends. Hearing it from your side, and how I know it would be obvious to at least someone, and how you can feel that as well and be left with disappointment because you also want some connection to this person, but don't want to lead them on about potential for the future. I can't speak for the guy, but that can be hard to come back from.

I've still been talking to a potential FWB. I thought I scared her off, but she's still interested in seeing where it goes. I think I'm finally getting my head straight as far as what's really happening and how it's progressing. I might have had too many preconceptions about how this works. For now though, I'm finally out of my own head.

I went out for the 4th time with DT Girl on Friday. She did invite me over on Weds to "help hang a picture" in her new apartment , but had to cancel cuz of a forgotten commitment. I met her and a bunch of coworkers at a BBQ biergarten. It was fun, and I could tell she was sending me signals, like touching my leg and what not. We bailed on the group who was bar hopping and went and hung out by the river. She started asking me questions about things, and since I'm pretty sure I'm not interested in anything serious with her, I let her fall down the rabbit hole that is my brain. All the introspection left me emotionally and mentally exhausted, and by the time we left, frankly I was just really worn out and tired. The next day I texted her and thanked her for inviting me out and "apologized" for talking too much. She replied, "I respect you for being candid. Perhaps, we can meet sometime this weekend. I feel its only fair to be just as up front and honest with you about me and the fundamental needs that I have when it comes to dating. Communication is important to me, so I'd rather do that in person, face to face. Let's plan to talk." Sounds ominous, right? She then tries to get me to go out for a drink last night. I told her I was exhausted from all the introspection, and maybe we can do something chill on Sunday. I get a text this morning that says, "We should figure out a way to kiss. Cause that's fun. Also, romantic."

[bout to crash]

Her communication style is weird
That DOES sound ominous, but maybe she just doesn't want to talk dating stuff via text because there's just so much room for interpretation without body language and whatnot. I'm dying to know what her "fundamental needs" are- let's hope it's just good company and some dick, which is basically where I've been at

So The Russian texted me this morning wanting to make plans for the coming week. I texted back a couple hours later (slept til almost noon  ) but haven't heard back from him yet. He's definitely not a constant texting type so I imagine it will be a bit til I hear back.

I think not being kissed by Brooklyn made my interest and hopes wane, and being kissed by this dude piqued it even more. But I also automatically felt a bit more chemistry with him. It was in his eyes, which are very pretty, if I didn't mention that before

And yeah, I think the video store guy is definitely one of those where it will suck if I say something, suck if I don't. We shall see. For now I'm just going to try to remain cool and not spend TOO much time talking to him.

[cramx3]

I'd try to stay away from video store guy.  You've been there, done that.  Sounds like the Russian has potential and you seem like someone who's got a busy life and lots of friends so maybe your desire to be friends should take a back seat to not wanting to break this guys heart.

Sylvan, you went on 4 dates with DT girl and haven't kissed yet?  Sounds like she wants you to make the move. Get on that 

Soooo I found out via facebook that my little sister is engaged  I only met this guy twice and they couldn't of been dating for more than 6 months.  I'm not happy at all about this, not just the fact that no one wants to let me know what's happening in my family (that is the story of my life) but that this guy who is new is going to marry my sister?!  From the brief conversations I've had with him, he is definitely one of her better BFs so that's a positive I guess.

[Stadler]

I went out for the 4th time with DT Girl on Friday. She did invite me over on Weds to "help hang a picture" in her new apartment , but had to cancel cuz of a forgotten commitment. I met her and a bunch of coworkers at a BBQ biergarten. It was fun, and I could tell she was sending me signals, like touching my leg and what not. We bailed on the group who was bar hopping and went and hung out by the river. She started asking me questions about things, and since I'm pretty sure I'm not interested in anything serious with her, I let her fall down the rabbit hole that is my brain. All the introspection left me emotionally and mentally exhausted, and by the time we left, frankly I was just really worn out and tired. The next day I texted her and thanked her for inviting me out and "apologized" for talking too much. She replied, "I respect you for being candid. Perhaps, we can meet sometime this weekend. I feel its only fair to be just as up front and honest with you about me and the fundamental needs that I have when it comes to dating. Communication is important to me, so I'd rather do that in person, face to face. Let's plan to talk." Sounds ominous, right? She then tries to get me to go out for a drink last night. I told her I was exhausted from all the introspection, and maybe we can do something chill on Sunday. I get a text this morning that says, "We should figure out a way to kiss. Cause that's fun. Also, romantic."

I get it, I'm not there, I can't feel the vibe, blah blah blah, but am I the only one that read that last paragraph and can't fucking wait until Sunday?   I love that shit, and for someone to be upfront and somewhat intellectual - as opposed to "you're supposed to just KNOW I want cock/romance/discussion!" - is awesome.  I'd be fired up for Sunday if that was me.   That's not all that different from how it went with my now wife (not exactly, though, since I knew I was very interested); we ended up talking for FOUR HOURS on our first date (we went to a restaurant, and didn't even order DRINKS we were so involved in our conversation; the owner actually followed us out to the parking lot to see if everything was ok) and it was really cool to have it be so deep and yet so easy.