Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip

[Chino]

As funny as this idea is, I will not be doing any of it.  I may just get the fire pit going on Friday night and toss it in.  For fun since I've never done that before with any of my ex's stuff...

Bring the toothbrush to Colorado. I'll.... take care of it.

Bow chica bow wow 

[sylvan]

I've got a date with DT Girl (as creative as TinderSuccess is, I'm sure we'd all like to use this nickname ) tonight. I'm kinda excited, but also kinda nervous. I wasn't really actively looking for something like this, so it caught me by surprise. And it also feels a little weird being the one who was "persued". I feel like when I message someone, they usually have no opinion about me yet, so I can set myself apart from others in the way I interact. But with this rarity of someone messaging me with something other than Hi, I feel nervous like she already has some " idea" about me, and I likely can only let her down. This all just stems from my anxiety issues. I know she's cool, so I should just relax and enjoy myself.

Then on Friday I have another date. This woman on OKC messaged me several months ago, but I was dating someone and she honestly isn't my usual type. A new profile of hers (I recognized the picture) popped up on my quickmatch. While it had a lot more personality than a lot of people's profiles, it also said specifically that she isn't looking for a serious relationship, but a FWB. I sent her a message and we started chatting, and we got on the same page with what we're looking for (while she tells me how much she loves sex and is terrific at it). We've got plans to grab a drink and then hangout at her place and smoke a little (never planned that first date before ). I can tell she's into me, so I'm kinda excited to get some soon . But im also really anxious and nervous because I haven't gotten some in a REALLY LONG TIME  .

[cramx3]

As funny as this idea is, I will not be doing any of it.  I may just get the fire pit going on Friday night and toss it in.  For fun since I've never done that before with any of my ex's stuff...

Bring the toothbrush to Colorado. I'll.... take care of it.

  be careful what you wish for

As for Vermont, sucks, but maybe you nailed it, you liked him a bit more than he liked you.  Seems both of you put each other low on the totem pole and it's not so surprising that one of you got knocked off at some point.  Maybe he reaches out to you some time down the line.

Sylvan, your two dates both sound pretty cool, second one sounds like it might get steamy.    Good luck.

[bout to crash]

I'm always leery of when people say they're "good at" sex, like it's this objective thing. I don't usually hear it from women but in dudes it reeks of insecurity. It's like, I know I give terrific blowjobs but I would never just tell a guy that. The point is for him afterwards to tell me it was terrific!

Other than that, that woman sounds promising, sylvan!

Cram, I wouldn't even say I'm more into him, because we've only met a few times and whatnot, but it seems like he maybe just doesn't have as much free time as I do... not that I have much
He's also obviously not as much of a texter as I am, and I've been in that situation before. It's annoying, though I obviously don't hold it against people.
*shrug*... the ball is in his court, but he's cancelled on me enough that I know better than to move existing plans around for him.

[Prog Snob]

The woman I was talking to gave me her number. She said it would be easier to text instead of having to keep OKCupid open to talk. We've been messaging back and forth since this morning.

[Stadler]

I'm always leery of when people say they're "good at" sex, like it's this objective thing. I don't usually hear it from women but in dudes it reeks of insecurity. It's like, I know I give terrific blowjobs but I would never just tell a guy that. The point is for him afterwards to tell me it was terrific!

This.  So much this.   I mean, except for the terrific BJ part, for that I wouldn't know.   But it is SO subjective, and SO dependent on your partner.  I had partners say it was beyond belief, and partners say it was like watching the news, so how would I know if I'm "good" or not?  I guess it's like David Lee Roth says, "It's not who you squeeze, but who returns to squeeze you!"

I do know I'm hung like a horse though.

(j/k; I consider that to be the same thing as "I'm awesome in the sack")

[bout to crash]

, yes, I was going to mention that as well. Equally suspicious when guys say that.

In related news, I had some beers with my friend last night and she told me she ended up having a one night stand with the son of the plumber at her school after he tried to set them up (he is apparently a school dean, but she kept saying "I can't believe I'm doing this with the plumber's son!" ). Things were not going very well- he was a bad kisser, he kept telling her how sexy she was over and over again... and then when his pants came off he ended up having a ridiculously small penis, like so small she wasn't sure she would be able to feel it... but he started talking dirty to her and saying "You want that big dick in you?!" and she was trying so hard not to laugh at the poor guy. He didn't bring a condom, so they didn't have sex (she neglected to tell him there was one in the nightstand), but he very awkwardly ended up sleeping over because she was too nice to kick him out

She was very jealous when I told her about some of my latest escapades. Her face was like

[cramx3]

 

That's got to be like a mental issue or something.  I never talk about my performance with woman, let them find out on their own.

[JayOctavarium]

[Stadler]

In related news, I had some beers with my friend last night and she told me she ended up having a one night stand with the son of the plumber at her school after he tried to set them up (he is apparently a school dean, but she kept saying "I can't believe I'm doing this with the plumber's son!" ). Things were not going very well- he was a bad kisser, he kept telling her how sexy she was over and over again... and then when his pants came off he ended up having a ridiculously small penis, like so small she wasn't sure she would be able to feel it... but he started talking dirty to her and saying "You want that big dick in you?!" and she was trying so hard not to laugh at the poor guy. He didn't bring a condom, so they didn't have sex (she neglected to tell him there was one in the nightstand), but he very awkwardly ended up sleeping over because she was too nice to kick him out

Ordinarily I'd feel sort of bad for the guy, but when you make your own bed...

You have to be at least SOMEWHAT aware.   I mean, I know what I measure, and I know what "average" is.  If the average is 5" and you're at 3", you need to know that "you want that big dick in you" is not going to resonate.  Doesn't mean you can't make it work, but don't call attention to it.   

The thing with that is, it depends totally on the number of partners your partner has had.  I remember I dated a girl who had only had sex with one other person, so it skews the comparison.  I was on the good side of it, but that isn't saying much with one data point.  Conversely, you could be Peter North, but if your partner has only ever been with John Holmes, you're going to be fighting an uphill battle. 

[Prog Snob]

So much for this one.... 

[sylvan]

Micro-dick. Apparently it's a thing.


I got a small dick, man!

[bout to crash]

, it is indeed a thing. This girl's ex was apparently huge, so he tainted the little guys for her. Like Stadler said, you can find a way to make 3" work, but don't call attention to it!

[sylvan]

That's what I come back to. Obviously, most guys have an ego, and that can be at odds if you've got a small dick. But I'm missing the disconnect that leads to saying something like that. Maybe I'm too logical and I have too much of a sense of humor to say something like that with a straight face.

I  was supposed to go out with my new potential FWB last night. Then I couldn't get ahold of her. She eventually texted me back saying she had to talk her cousin down because she cheated on her husband. I tried to get her to chill, but she was apprehensive because she didn't just want me to come over to her place for the first meeting. She wants to grab a drink and make sure I'm not a weirdo before she takes me back to prove her skills lol. She also said she's got phenomenal blow job skills, so I challenged her on that. I was thinking about what you guys said when she asked me how I would describe my equipment. So I went the vague route (as to not oversell), and she called me on that and asked for a pic. I have NEVER even thought about sending a dick pic. She then sent me a couple pics, so I said what the fuck! That was a lot of fun.

[KevShmev]

I'm always leery of when people say they're "good at" sex, like it's this objective thing. I don't usually hear it from women but in dudes it reeks of insecurity. It's like, I know I give terrific blowjobs but I would never just tell a guy that. The point is for him afterwards to tell me it was terrific!

 

Prove it.

 

[cramx3]

She also said she's got phenomenal blow job skills, so I challenged her on that.

This is making me jealous, nothing in the world beats a good BJ.

I was thinking about what you guys said when she asked me how I would describe my equipment. So I went the vague route (as to not oversell), and she called me on that and asked for a pic. I have NEVER even thought about sending a dick pic. She then sent me a couple pics, so I said what the fuck! That was a lot of fun.

Good ole sexting 

[bout to crash]

Don't be jealous yet. She's hyping herself up too much, IMO. Bad sign. Unless you specifically asked her, I guess...

[cramx3]

Don't be jealous yet. She's hyping herself up too much, IMO. Bad sign. Unless you specifically asked her, I guess...

True, could be like micro-dick dude. 

[sylvan]

 

I'm not putting any stock in it. It's all just part of the fun. Hopefully it will be moot soon enough.

[Prog Snob]

So, I told Nicole that her friend and I have been talking.

[sylvan]

Are you still talking to her? You made it sound like that was done.

[Prog Snob]

I thought it was. She was afraid of what her friend would think, so I told her friend. We're still talking. We talk all day long but I don't know if she's feeling better about everything. I don't want to force the issue.

[Prog Snob]

We spoke on the phone for about 3 hours last night.  We were trading OKCupid horror stories. She clearly wins. Poor woman. I want to ask her out for a drink or tea (she doesn't drink coffee) but I don't know if she felt better about the whole thing with my ex being her friend. She asked me what my ex said when I told her about it, so I showed her the conversation. First she told me her friend is a great person. Then she said there's no reason for anyone to feel awkward. You can do what you want. So Lorraine (I call her Snow by the way) said it was nice of her to say that. Am I to believe that she  feels better about this now?

[cramx3]

 Couldn't even tell you, your situation is over my head.  I think I would have walked away once realizing she is my ex's friend.

[sylvan]

Couldn't even tell you, your situation is over my head.  I think I would have walked away once realizing she is my ex's friend.

Or at the very least, be sure that she is worth any potential trouble. And the potential for trouble here is at a HIGH level. It seems like they're getting closer to being on the same page though.

[cramx3]

Couldn't even tell you, your situation is over my head.  I think I would have walked away once realizing she is my ex's friend.

Or at the very least, be sure that she is worth any potential trouble. And the potential for trouble here is at a HIGH level. It seems like they're getting closer to being on the same page though.

Yea agreed, if things are going well and all parties are cool, then I guess it's safe to proceed, but I don't think I would have gotten to that point personally because of that relationship so that's why I am not sure I have any good input here.

[Prog Snob]

Couldn't even tell you, your situation is over my head.  I think I would have walked away once realizing she is my ex's friend.

Or at the very least, be sure that she is worth any potential trouble. And the potential for trouble here is at a HIGH level. It seems like they're getting closer to being on the same page though.

Yea agreed, if things are going well and all parties are cool, then I guess it's safe to proceed, but I don't think I would have gotten to that point personally because of that relationship so that's why I am not sure I have any good input here.

I'm going to take it a day at a time. She has definitely moved closer to wanting to try to make it work. She didn't want to accept my Facebook request because of what Nicole might think, but since she found out Nicole was okay with everything, she accepted it this morning. They're not best friends or anything. They went to school together years ago. I think it would be different if it was her best friend or someone really close.

Yes, from the few conversations we've had, she definitely seems like someone worth the trouble. She's an amazing woman and has a kind heart, still believes in fairytale endings. She's my age and has two kids so I know she's really looking for someone to settle down with.

[cramx3]

Couldn't even tell you, your situation is over my head.  I think I would have walked away once realizing she is my ex's friend.

Or at the very least, be sure that she is worth any potential trouble. And the potential for trouble here is at a HIGH level. It seems like they're getting closer to being on the same page though.

Yea agreed, if things are going well and all parties are cool, then I guess it's safe to proceed, but I don't think I would have gotten to that point personally because of that relationship so that's why I am not sure I have any good input here.

I'm going to take it a day at a time. She has definitely moved closer to wanting to try to make it work. She didn't want to accept my Facebook request because of what Nicole might think, but since she found out Nicole was okay with everything, she accepted it this morning. They're not best friends or anything. They went to school together years ago. I think it would be different if it was her best friend or someone really close.

Yes, from the few conversations we've had, she definitely seems like someone worth the trouble. She's an amazing woman and has a kind heart, still believes in fairytale endings. She's my age and has two kids so I know she's really looking for someone to settle down with.

That's pretty good then.  If they are more like acquaintances than good friends then I guess it's not a big deal, the world is small, people are going to know people. 

[Prog Snob]

I'm hopeful about this. She's quite an amazing woman. We've been texting from morning till night since Tuesday afternoon. Last night we spent a few hours on the phone BSing. It's nice to finally be able to connect with someone with a head on their shoulders.

[cramx3]

I'm hopeful about this. She's quite an amazing woman. We've been texting from morning till night since Tuesday afternoon. Last night we spent a few hours on the phone BSing. It's nice to finally be able to connect with someone with a head on their shoulders.

Yea, that is great, sounds good then.

[Stadler]

I'm always leery of when people say they're "good at" sex, like it's this objective thing. I don't usually hear it from women but in dudes it reeks of insecurity. It's like, I know I give terrific blowjobs but I would never just tell a guy that. The point is for him afterwards to tell me it was terrific!

 

Prove it.

 

I was going to go with the "pics or it ain't true", but thought better of it.     

[cramx3]

I'm always leery of when people say they're "good at" sex, like it's this objective thing. I don't usually hear it from women but in dudes it reeks of insecurity. It's like, I know I give terrific blowjobs but I would never just tell a guy that. The point is for him afterwards to tell me it was terrific!

 

Prove it.

 

I was going to go with the "pics or it ain't true", but thought better of it.     

Video would be more appropriate

[sylvan]

I just said the same thing to someone that said she's sitting on the back of a bus and wondering if she could masturbate without anyone noticing.

Pics/Video or it didn't happen!

[cramx3]

I just said the same thing to someone that said she's sitting on the back of a bus and wondering if she could masturbate without anyone noticing.

Pics/Video or it didn't happen!

  what bus is she riding, you should find it

[Stadler]

I just said the same thing to someone that said she's sitting on the back of a bus and wondering if she could masturbate without anyone noticing.

Pics/Video or it didn't happen!

  what bus is she riding, you should find it

Actually you should let us know what bus that is so we can confirm.  In the name of science, you know.