Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip

[Prog Snob]

That has been the strangest trait for picking a significant other so far.     

[cramx3]

That has been the strangest trait for picking a significant other so far. 

Maybe it's because she is looking for a relationship with someone that can also donate their blood to her

[Prog Snob]

That has been the strangest trait for picking a significant other so far. 

Maybe it's because she is looking for a relationship with someone that can also donate their blood to her

Yes, an obviously important quality to look for in someone.   

[cramx3]

That has been the strangest trait for picking a significant other so far. 

Maybe it's because she is looking for a relationship with someone that can also donate their blood to her

Yes, an obviously important quality to look for in someone.   

Someone with a blood disorder maybe.  I wouldn't put that past someone as a legit reason to find a life mate.

[Prog Snob]

You're right. I really can't put anything past anyone, especially with my past experiences.

[bout to crash]

Yeah, I bet she is looking for a life mate who can donate blood to her but doesn't want to admit it. Weirdo.

I did eventually hear back from Vermont. He can't hang today. Meh.

Hung with the ginger and her husband yesterday, went to an event at a museum and then watched a movie. They are super cool. I'd totally nail them both, but no idea if that's an option. Have only kissed her so far.

[Prog Snob]

 I started talking to someone else today. She seems pretty cool. We have certain things in common that are hard to find here in Staten Island, but she's apprehensive because my marriage isn't legally over yet. She wants to remain friends until it's official so I'm not sure what to do.

[King Postwhore]

She sounds like she's got a head on her shoulders.   How far off are you in the divorce process?

[Prog Snob]

It's just a matter of filing the papers.

She does have a head on her shoulders. I could tell that right away.

[King Postwhore]

Worth the wait then.  Keep talking as friends for now. That will only strengthen your first meeting.

[Prog Snob]

That's exactly what I'm doing to do. The ball is in my court. How I play it will decide our fate.

[JayOctavarium]

So.. I love not knowing whether or not I am in a relationship. It's a great way to add even more stress to my life.

[Prog Snob]

So.. I love not knowing whether or not I am in a relationship. It's a great way to add even more stress to my life.

Then what you need to do is get some answers.

[JayOctavarium]

Been playing the game for a year.

The we aren't together but sometimes we are and act like we are but it is all up to her mood game.

[Prog Snob]

Been playing the game for a year.

The we aren't together but sometimes we are and act like we are but it is all up to her mood game.

Is it worth it?

[JayOctavarium]

At the moment it is. No one understands it though. I just wish.. there was a little bit more there though...

[Prog Snob]

At the moment it is. No one understands it though. I just wish.. there was a little bit more there though...

People can never understand how another truly feels. That's why you need to do what's best for you. All I can say is to be sure of your choice. If I've learned one thing from my past experiences it's to go with my gut feeling. I have a unique ability to sense a bad situation. That doesn't always mean I listened to it, but I've never been wrong. You need to do the same for yourself. Just be sure.

[BlobVanDam]

I haven't fully decided on that yet. It has been a while so maybe just to release the poison.

In other news, some woman put her blood type in her OKCupid profile because she usually gets along better with certain blood types.

It's a Japanese/Asian thing to believe blood type can affect personality, much like how some people believe star signs affect personality, so maybe it's just a cultural thing. Japanese sites often list blood type in bios. Or maybe she's a vampire and needs a constant supply of the correct type.

[Prog Snob]

I like the vampire story better. 

[BlobVanDam]

I'd be ok with a vampire. We're both nocturnal and allergic to light. I'd be pretty strict about not being fed upon though. I get dizzy. She can feed upon stray cats or something.

[Prog Snob]

I dated a girl who thought she was a vampire.

[BlobVanDam]

Like for reals? Did she drink blood? Or was she just really pale and sensitive to light?

[bout to crash]

 , was she sparkly?

[Prog Snob]

Like for reals? Did she drink blood? Or was she just really pale and sensitive to light?

Yes, she drank blood. She claimed to have extreme sensitivity to light, but I didn't date her for long, so I never found out too much about those characteristics.

[King Postwhore]

What the,hell is Blob doing in a relationship thread?  I guess I should post in the anime thread. 

[BlobVanDam]

What the,hell is Blob doing in a relationship thread?  I guess I should post in the anime thread. 

The forum is slow during the day. I gotta find something to do!

[King Postwhore]

 

Ok.  I'm with you there.

[sylvan]

Last night, I had what was as closely related to a blind date as I've had. I woke up and had just gotten a message from someone. She seemed cool, and like she might be up for what I'm looking for right now. She had apparently had some afternoon drinks and a friend convinced her to invite me out with them. I met her and a few friends at an art show (skateboard deck exhibition). I was a bit apprehensive because that's a little weird. But I handled it good. She seemed a little reserved, which was kinda cute and endearing. And from some of the stuff she said, it seems like there might be a wild child looking for some trouble under there, which intrigues me. She's not traditionally my type, but if we can have some fun, I'm open to finding out what will happen.

Edit: I texted her after I got home. I asked if it was weird for her. She said she hoped she wasn't too awkward, but I assured her it was cute and expected. And I told her I was up for something just the two of us if she's up for it. I never heard back. I was bored last night and messaging some people on OKC and saw that she deactivated her profile. She even mentioned how she thought it was weird that two people could have a good date and then you never hear from the other again. That's life, I guess...

[cramx3]

Seems like she went on that site just to find someone to chill with for the day.

I kind of put things on hold with TinderSuccess yesterday.  Late Friday night she started pushing ideas on what to do Saturday together (we didn't agree to make plans or anything this was just random to me) and it started pretty innocently, but she wanted me to come to the city, have dinner with her friends, then we'd go our separate ways because I have Easter family time today.  I told her I didn't like the idea because it's a 3 hour round trip plus about $30 in tolls for me to do that, just for a couple hours with her friends.  I also added that I don't always want to hang out with her friends, I still want to hang out alone and get to know her.  I also admitted I am not nearly as social as she is.  She then said that wasn't what she meant and that we could just do drinks with her friends and then she could come back to my place (why would we then go to the city just to come all the way back?).  It kind of hit my by Saturday morning that the distance is a real problem which I told her and apparently that made her super upset and she took it as me ending things.  I then repeated what I had said all along in that hanging out is a big commitment in time and I can't just do it whenever and be flexible like I may normally be.  She then offered to just come here and cancel her friends.  I didn't respond for awhile because I felt she just wasn't getting it, but I guess my nonresponse meant it was over from her perspective.  I'm just confused, cool girl and all but I've told her so many times now that I can't commit to hanging out so often because of the distance and it doesn't seem to phase her. I also mentioned I want to take things slowly and she didn't take that too well either.  Really cool girl and I've enjoyed my time with her and she has so many things in her that I want in a girl, but I'm thinking I should just leave this on hold. This week I have the Iron Maiden concert and then I leave for Colorado for a week so I won't have much free time anyway.

[sylvan]

Have you told her these things, like the stuff that you value in her? See if she can meet you halfway with the whole process, because you want to find something that works with her, but can't keep doing what you're doing.

Seems like she went on that site just to find someone to chill with for the day.

That would be hilarious. Send said she had been on there a few months, had a "substantial" profile, and had answered quite a few questions. I'm not hung up on anything, I just find it all curious. The whole thing was mostly strange, and I'm kinda surprised.

And what is it with sending a first message that says Hey or Hi or How are you? Some chick from across the date messaged me Hey last night. I was bored, so I replied with Hey. She sent a couple irrelevant messages and I never heard anything else. A couple nights ago, same thing. The next day I see she deactivated her profile. It's not that fuckin tough people. There are a number of things in my profile that could be conversation starters. So when I get a message that says "Hey there Mr. Dream Theater. What's your favorite song?", it gets my attention. And I only list them in the music I listen to, and they're not even first on the list.

[bout to crash]

I think we've discussed this before, but I have never once responded to a "hey"... especially since as a woman I already often get an annoying amount of messages. If you can't take the time to write something thoughtful that shows you looked at my profile, fuck off.

As for the girl who randomly invited you out with her friends, that is so strange. It sounds like they were buzzed and browsing the site and they were all like "He's kinda cute..  you should invite him out RIGHT NOW!" ... maybe she was embarrassed about it or something.

Cram, that's kind of a bummer but maybe the right thing to do. I wouldn't swear her off completely but it sounds like she's just sort of hearing/seeing what she wants to and maybe not understanding where you're coming from. She clearly wants to move a bit faster than you, and that ain't good. Maybe you can work it out eventually but yeah, that distance thing is a huge bummer.

[sylvan]

As for the girl who randomly invited you out with her friends, that is so strange. It sounds like they were buzzed and browsing the site and they were all like "He's kinda cute..  you should invite him out RIGHT NOW!" ... maybe she was embarrassed about it or something.

Very well could be the case. Her friends were whispering when I got there. I was also undoubtedly the coolest one there , but got along well with her friends. It happened to come up and she mentioned that she used to smoke a lot of pot. I said there's no problem with smoking weed, I love to smoke weed. She had this look and I asked if that surprised her. She says, "Yeah! Look at you!" So I thought she might be attracted enough to me, and see that I'm not pulling away, for her to get over any reservations in her head. No worries though, trust me.

If you can't take the time to write something thoughtful that shows you looked at my profile, fuck off.

No shit, it ain't that hard. So when I got a message that said, "Hey Mr. Dream Theater. What's your favorite song?", I sure as hell replied to that one. I also put that I'm named after a musician, try and guess. She says, " Are you named after Dan Fogelberg?" Ding Ding. WTF, are you kidding me? :mindblown She talked me into calling her today, to prove I'm not a robot lol. I'm not a fan of talking on the phone, especially with someone whom I've had limited interaction with. We talked for almost an hour, and it was kinda cool. It felt like a great ice breaker of sorts, and gives the both of us a better idea of who's on the other end. It was winding down, so I went ahead and asked if she wanted to go out sometime, and we're on for Thursday.

[bout to crash]

Wooo! That's good news. What's HER favorite song? That will tell you whether or not you need to run.

Vermont is so maddeningly slow with his responses! He said he may be able to hang this week but gave me no availability! I've got a couple folks who want to hang but I've been putting off scheduling because I never see him and I wanna get some, frankly. But I need to stop doing that. In fact, I just messaged one of my friends and told her it's a date for Friday, because fuck this waiting game. Get off my lawn.

[JayOctavarium]

[cramx3]

Get off my lawn! 

Sylvan, I've had a few girls do the phone call thing to make sure you are legit before meeting, I always feel awkward about it because no one talks on the phone anymore, but once the convo starts and things go well then it can be a really nice way to break the ice and move forward.

I talked very briefly with TinderSuccess yesterday.  I wrote it out (since we have never had a phone conversation) exactly what I was getting at (I said this is something I've said a lot nicer/more vaguely a few times already, but I need to write it out to make my point) and told her I need some space effectively.  I don't love this girl (as compared to the conversation last week where that word was brought up even jokingly) and I'm finding it harder and harder to do what is borderline long distance while trying to meet her requests of time together.  I told her I felt like she was rushing me and I also didn't like how she always wants to hang with her friends when I come into the city, I still hardly know her and would prefer one on one time before doing all the friend things.  I'm just not at that point where I want to be integrated into her social life.  I met a bunch of her friends one weekend and I knew her roommate well enough, but I am not ready to meet these other friends and then do this with another group and then next week hang with her high school friends and so on and so on, I just want to hang out with her!  Well anyway, she came back with a "you need to figure out if this is worth it to you" and that is true.  It probably isn't to be honest, which sucks because if she lived closer than it would be easier to ride this out longer since she is a cool girl and has some awesome qualities, but I don't see how I can commit to this for anything serious.

I feel really bad too because she started a new job today and I know she ended up not really doing a whole lot this weekend because she was upset and probably has a lot on her mind so I feel like my timing was bad and it was totally unintentional, like I never planned for us to come to a breaking point this weekend and it all started because she was pushing to hang out again (and with her friends) that lead me to start thinking this isn't going to work.