, I love your posts.
I'm not sure I'll ever make another video after what happened last time. Photos, maybe. Depends on the context of course, but I'm gun shy after being threatened by a psycho.
So guys, after thinking about it for a week and a half I ended up messaging that guy in search of some closure (things had basically been left at "are we not talking anymore? Ok, it's been real..." and I felt weird about that). I told him basically these things:
-I didn't like that he pinned us "not talking" on me when it takes two to have a conversation
-I shut down when I don't feel heard or respected, which is why I didn't feel comfortable reaching out to him
-I have no desire to be in another relationship where I'm afraid to talk about my feelings
-his lack of reaction to us not talking made me think he either didn't care or was not willing to put up any kind of fight when things were less than perfect
-I wish him well and am just looking for closure vs wanting to argue
I wasn't sure if he would respond, but he did. On the surface, maturely (he even apologized, finally!), but really just the same selfish shit. He basically parroted the same stuff back to me and said he felt the same way. He felt hurt and disrespected and was too hurt to reach out.
Wait, what?? Hurt by what, exactly? Because I told him that I was hurt by something HE said? Wtf kind of childish shit is that? Part of me wants to ask for clarification but I think it best to leave alone at this point. I said what I had to say, I feel better in that sense.. and he responded in a way that confirmed the self-centeredness that got us here in the first place. I don't really want to salvage this, I just wanted some closure. Oy vey.