Author Topic: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip  (Read 279300 times)

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Offline cramx3

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #385 on: May 06, 2015, 06:54:39 AM »
While the girl I am currently seeing is smart, she has a really terrible memory and its becoming something that I am really disliking.  She constantly misremembers things and thinks she tells me things that she hasn't and then gets a bit angry when I have no idea what she is talking about.  Its becoming very common to the point that I am even writing this out.  It actually baffles me how someone could misremember so much yet still be smart and capable of succeeding in life.  On the other hand, I have a very solid memory.  I can usually recall lots of the finer details of our conversations and often stop her when she's telling me something because I can finish the sentence having heard it before.  It's not bad enough to outweigh her positives, but I do wonder how I will deal with it long term because it does get frustrating.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #386 on: May 06, 2015, 06:59:45 AM »
Not sure how they do things in England, but I've found online dating sites help with meeting women.  Im not very good at approaching a woman at a bar or any other occasion really so chatting with someone online is much easier.

Problem being, I'm 19, I highly doubt anyone will be near my age, but I may give it a shot, I find it a bit awkward though

Hey, you and I are the same age. What is your biggest goal in life right now?


If I'm honest I don't really have a goal, I just want someone with me if you understand, I can't stand being single, or it feels like theres a hole in my life

Offline Phoenix87x

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #387 on: May 06, 2015, 07:08:07 AM »
While the girl I am currently seeing is smart, she has a really terrible memory and its becoming something that I am really disliking.  She constantly misremembers things and thinks she tells me things that she hasn't and then gets a bit angry when I have no idea what she is talking about.  Its becoming very common to the point that I am even writing this out.  It actually baffles me how someone could misremember so much yet still be smart and capable of succeeding in life.  On the other hand, I have a very solid memory.  I can usually recall lots of the finer details of our conversations and often stop her when she's telling me something because I can finish the sentence having heard it before.  It's not bad enough to outweigh her positives, but I do wonder how I will deal with it long term because it does get frustrating.

Mine does the same thing.

I am now hearing things I've heard multiple times and like you said, I can finish what she says word for word. I have a good handle over when I'm repeating myself and I might say something like "I believe I said this before" or try and re-word it or tell it a different way, but when certain topics come up, she will literally go into auto pilot or like a trance

Literally same exact story, same exact words, same exact emotions and inflections. She would get herself all worked up all over again and its like groundhogs day. It used to really bug me, to the point where I actually told her she is repeating herself, but at this point I just let her finish and move on. The pros outweigh the cons.

She makes me happy about 90% of the time and miserable 10% of the time. So I'm totally down with that. Without her, I was miserable 90% percent of the time.

Offline cramx3

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #388 on: May 06, 2015, 07:13:29 AM »
While the girl I am currently seeing is smart, she has a really terrible memory and its becoming something that I am really disliking.  She constantly misremembers things and thinks she tells me things that she hasn't and then gets a bit angry when I have no idea what she is talking about.  Its becoming very common to the point that I am even writing this out.  It actually baffles me how someone could misremember so much yet still be smart and capable of succeeding in life.  On the other hand, I have a very solid memory.  I can usually recall lots of the finer details of our conversations and often stop her when she's telling me something because I can finish the sentence having heard it before.  It's not bad enough to outweigh her positives, but I do wonder how I will deal with it long term because it does get frustrating.

Mine does the same thing.

I am now hearing things I've heard multiple times and like you said, I can finish what she says word for word. I have a good handle over when I'm repeating myself and I might say something like "I believe I said this before" or try and re-word it or tell it a different way, but when certain topics come up, she will literally go into auto pilot or like a trance

Literally same exact story, same exact words, same exact emotions and inflections. She would get herself all worked up all over again and its like groundhogs day. It used to really bug me, to the point where I actually told her she is repeating herself, but at this point I just let her finish and move on. The pros outweigh the cons.

One of my best friends is also like that, you learn to just deal with it and move on.  I just find it more frustrating with this girl because I only met her a little over a month ago now and to at this point be hearing a lot of the smae things is somewhat alarming.  That isn't really what bothers me though, its more of the things she thinks she tells me but doesn't and then gets noticeable angry or annoyed that I have to tell her she never told me that which leads to a moment of awkwardness because we disagree about something and when it comes to memory, people get very defensive about what they remember (or don't).  It's happened enough that I've questioned my own memory (like maybe she really did tell me that?) but considering I can recall so much more than she can from other conversations I am very sure that it is in fact her with the poor memory.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #389 on: May 06, 2015, 07:48:46 AM »
While the girl I am currently seeing is smart, she has a really terrible memory and its becoming something that I am really disliking.  She constantly misremembers things and thinks she tells me things that she hasn't and then gets a bit angry when I have no idea what she is talking about.  Its becoming very common to the point that I am even writing this out.  It actually baffles me how someone could misremember so much yet still be smart and capable of succeeding in life.  On the other hand, I have a very solid memory.  I can usually recall lots of the finer details of our conversations and often stop her when she's telling me something because I can finish the sentence having heard it before.  It's not bad enough to outweigh her positives, but I do wonder how I will deal with it long term because it does get frustrating.

Mine does the same thing.

I am now hearing things I've heard multiple times and like you said, I can finish what she says word for word. I have a good handle over when I'm repeating myself and I might say something like "I believe I said this before" or try and re-word it or tell it a different way, but when certain topics come up, she will literally go into auto pilot or like a trance

Literally same exact story, same exact words, same exact emotions and inflections. She would get herself all worked up all over again and its like groundhogs day. It used to really bug me, to the point where I actually told her she is repeating herself, but at this point I just let her finish and move on. The pros outweigh the cons.

One of my best friends is also like that, you learn to just deal with it and move on.  I just find it more frustrating with this girl because I only met her a little over a month ago now and to at this point be hearing a lot of the smae things is somewhat alarming.  That isn't really what bothers me though, its more of the things she thinks she tells me but doesn't and then gets noticeable angry or annoyed that I have to tell her she never told me that which leads to a moment of awkwardness because we disagree about something and when it comes to memory, people get very defensive about what they remember (or don't).  It's happened enough that I've questioned my own memory (like maybe she really did tell me that?) but considering I can recall so much more than she can from other conversations I am very sure that it is in fact her with the poor memory.

You can look at the glass half empty, or the glass half full.   My ex-wife was like that, and it got to the point that she started making notes because I didn't hesitate to say "you didn't tell me that" and had previous experiences to back it up.  Plus my memory is excellent (she watched me look at a car VIN number at a dealer lot, and type it in verbatim when we got home to check the CarFAX).  She knew after a while not to argue memory with me, and while I didn't abuse that, there were one or two times I used that to slip out of sticky situations.

Offline cramx3

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #390 on: May 06, 2015, 07:58:01 AM »
Yea agreed, but that requires your ex to understand and admit that her memory is not as good.  My x would never admit that and it caused a lot of arguments because of the same situation I was describing.  This new girl is showing traits of that, but so far not as bad but she is also new so maybe she is taming down how she really feels, but I can clearly sense some sort of anger or frustration from her when this scenario occurs.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #391 on: May 06, 2015, 12:19:09 PM »
Be patient with the memory issue. She doesn't do it intentionally and some people just have genuine memory issues. It happens to me a lot.  My short term memory has become horrible. It's usually due to stress and anxiety so don't write her off just yet. She gets angry and defensive because she seriously thinks she already told you something but doesn't realize that maybe she only thought about telling you and that's what she is remembering.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #392 on: May 06, 2015, 12:23:04 PM »
Be patient with the memory issue. She doesn't do it intentionally and some people just have genuine memory issues. It happens to me a lot.  My short term memory has become horrible. It's usually due to stress and anxiety so don't write her off just yet. She gets angry and defensive because she seriously thinks she already told you something but doesn't realize that maybe she only thought about telling you and that's what she is remembering.

Yea, she is not being written off so easily, just a frustration on my part and I totally get why she gets defensive about it.  I would too.  However, if it gets worse and she doesn't get better at understanding it then it could turn into an issue.  I do think this complaint of mine is a bit nitpicking, but I think some of the small things like this are important in a relationship where its crucial to understand each other and their faults and how you work together.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #393 on: May 06, 2015, 12:27:20 PM »
Be patient with the memory issue. She doesn't do it intentionally and some people just have genuine memory issues. It happens to me a lot.  My short term memory has become horrible. It's usually due to stress and anxiety so don't write her off just yet. She gets angry and defensive because she seriously thinks she already told you something but doesn't realize that maybe she only thought about telling you and that's what she is remembering.

Yea, she is not being written off so easily, just a frustration on my part and I totally get why she gets defensive about it.  I would too.  However, if it gets worse and she doesn't get better at understanding it then it could turn into an issue.  I do think this complaint of mine is a bit nitpicking, but I think some of the small things like this are important in a relationship where its crucial to understand each other and their faults and how you work together.

It could be something she is in denial about. Is she a naturally anxious or stressed out person?  That could be part of the issue, too. It clouds our minds more than one realizes.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #394 on: May 06, 2015, 12:48:50 PM »
Be patient with the memory issue. She doesn't do it intentionally and some people just have genuine memory issues. It happens to me a lot.  My short term memory has become horrible. It's usually due to stress and anxiety so don't write her off just yet. She gets angry and defensive because she seriously thinks she already told you something but doesn't realize that maybe she only thought about telling you and that's what she is remembering.

Yea, she is not being written off so easily, just a frustration on my part and I totally get why she gets defensive about it.  I would too.  However, if it gets worse and she doesn't get better at understanding it then it could turn into an issue.  I do think this complaint of mine is a bit nitpicking, but I think some of the small things like this are important in a relationship where its crucial to understand each other and their faults and how you work together.

It could be something she is in denial about. Is she a naturally anxious or stressed out person?  That could be part of the issue, too. It clouds our minds more than one realizes.

Im still getting to know her, but I think at this point I can say she is anxious and has ADD.  It's very possibly her mind is clouded and whatnot, it doesn't totally matter to me why she forgets or misremembers, just as long as it doesnt effect our relationship.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #395 on: May 07, 2015, 04:57:32 AM »
At least she has a legitimate reason and isn't just not paying attention to the conversations.  When the time is right, bring it up in as a sincere way as possible.

Offline cramx3

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #396 on: May 07, 2015, 05:57:11 AM »
Yea, well its not a big enough thing to actually bring up a serious conversation about it.  I did however last weekend joke about it which she took well and laughed and actually agreed.  I'm seeing her tonight, she wants to order chinese food and watch game of thrones in my man cave followed by hopefully (assuming the weather holds as it is this morning) some stargazing on my hammock.  Can't complain about those plans  :biggrin:

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #397 on: May 08, 2015, 04:59:51 AM »
Those sound like beautiful plans.

So the NJ girl deleted her account and the girl with the killer smile has stopped responding. So I was down to 1 again, but then a woman I had started speaking to a while ago just messaged me a little while ago. She wants to meet for coffee Thursday. The only problem is that she lives in Manhattan and it's quite the haul for me if I am home at the time. When I'm going after work it's just a quick subway ride.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #398 on: May 08, 2015, 06:01:56 AM »
Yea, go into Manhattan just for coffee?  Sounds like a lot of effort IMO. Sorry the other ones didn't work out. 

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #399 on: May 08, 2015, 06:33:39 AM »
It's not so easy.  I am talking to this other girl named Val, but she works 18 hours a day, 6 days a week and isn't available to meet until June.  I have discounted her because someone with that kind of schedule cannot make for a good relationship.  She's cool though, a bit of a weirdo like me.  But she doesn't rush into dating and sometimes takes months before anything romantic is considered.  Ugh

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #400 on: May 08, 2015, 07:37:59 AM »
Yea... that would be a big turn off to me.  Im fine without rushing, especially if you like the girl, but 18 hour work days 6 days a week just seem like that could never work.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #401 on: May 08, 2015, 08:49:22 AM »
You guys do what you want to do, because everyone is different, and everyone has their walkaway points... but for me - and I recognize it is just for me - probably my worst relationship (my marriage) was the one that looked best on paper (things in common, lived close by, etc. etc.).    The best - the one I'm in now (and no, I'm not Gene Simmons telling everyone the latest album is "the best one we've ever done") - was sort of a leap.  Little farther away than I would have liked, three kids including a young son with special needs, lunatic ex-husband who lives literally around the corner. country music fan versus a NWOBHM fan... and yet we gave it a shot and we couldn't be happier.  The areas where we HAVE to be good (communication, patience, understanding) we're GREAT.  I don't carry grudges, she doesn't make mountains out of molehills, and we're both in it for the long haul. 

Point of the story, you can't win if you don't play.  Ruling out women because of things that aren't inherently character flaws and are most likely temporary (how long can someone work 6 18's a week?) sounds to me like stepping over a dollar to pick up a penny. 

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #402 on: May 08, 2015, 09:37:40 AM »
Well compatability is more about choice and opinion on what works for you. 

Point of the story, you can't win if you don't play.

This is the truth, which was what I try to convey to the people who say they are lonely and want a partner, well you need to play the game to be able to win.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #403 on: May 08, 2015, 11:51:35 AM »
My wife and I have been married over 20 years.  We had a few similar likes but we each had our individuality.  It was the focus on each other that made our relationship better.  Over time, she grew to love my likes(Sports, beer, westerns, Sci-Fi) and I learned about her passions (gardening) and help her with that as well as talk to her about her gardens.


You don't have to have the same interests in everything to make it work.  You have to put in the time.
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #404 on: May 09, 2015, 02:19:52 PM »
Some good news finally.  That girl Georgia emailed me back and I just went for broke and said that we should talk on the phone. It would be easier to get to know one another that way. So we just got off the phone after chatting for an hour.  She said she wants to meet later on so now my nerves are going all crazy on me. 

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #405 on: May 11, 2015, 01:42:44 AM »
You guys do what you want to do, because everyone is different, and everyone has their walkaway points... but for me - and I recognize it is just for me - probably my worst relationship (my marriage) was the one that looked best on paper (things in common, lived close by, etc. etc.).    The best - the one I'm in now (and no, I'm not Gene Simmons telling everyone the latest album is "the best one we've ever done") - was sort of a leap.  Little farther away than I would have liked, three kids including a young son with special needs, lunatic ex-husband who lives literally around the corner. country music fan versus a NWOBHM fan... and yet we gave it a shot and we couldn't be happier.  The areas where we HAVE to be good (communication, patience, understanding) we're GREAT.  I don't carry grudges, she doesn't make mountains out of molehills, and we're both in it for the long haul. 

Point of the story, you can't win if you don't play.  Ruling out women because of things that aren't inherently character flaws and are most likely temporary (how long can someone work 6 18's a week?) sounds to me like stepping over a dollar to pick up a penny.
Great, great post. Agreed with every single word.  :tup

Oh, except for:
...(and no, I'm not Gene Simmons telling everyone the latest album is "the best one we've ever done")...
Your avatar says otherwise.  :yeahright

Some good news finally.  That girl Georgia emailed me back and I just went for broke and said that we should talk on the phone. It would be easier to get to know one another that way. So we just got off the phone after chatting for an hour.  She said she wants to meet later on so now my nerves are going all crazy on me.
Good luck!  :)
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #406 on: May 11, 2015, 08:44:42 AM »
Well, we didn't wind up going out because her mother stopped by to see her so we agreed we'd talk again and make plans to get together. The good news is that she wants to get out of Brooklyn and moved to somewhere more suburban like Staten Island. She has family that lives near me so that would knock out the distance issue.  I'm remaining hopeful with this one. 

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #407 on: May 13, 2015, 08:59:00 AM »
Not sure how they do things in England, but I've found online dating sites help with meeting women.  Im not very good at approaching a woman at a bar or any other occasion really so chatting with someone online is much easier.

Problem being, I'm 19, I highly doubt anyone will be near my age, but I may give it a shot, I find it a bit awkward though

Hey, you and I are the same age. What is your biggest goal in life right now?


If I'm honest I don't really have a goal, I just want someone with me if you understand, I can't stand being single, or it feels like theres a hole in my life

Hey, sorry for the late reply. Well everyone is different, but I always feel like you have to first make yourself happy before someone else can make you happy. I know that can be hard, but the best thing to do in the meantime is set goals for yourself. What do you want to do in life? I'm not sure if you're in school or working, but figure out something you want to do, and do it. Also, finding new hobbies is a great way of finding happiness. I just purchased a camera the other day because I'm going to start taking up photography. It's something completely new to me that I never really thought about doing until recently. When you find new hobbies and set goals for yourself, it can really change the way you look at things. I don't want you feeling like the only way to be happy is if you have a companion. I felt like that at one point but it's unhealthy. Plus, we are too young to be stressing so much over relationships. I've had 2 bad break ups, but I'm here today and I remain positive and motivated for whatever comes next.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #408 on: May 13, 2015, 09:32:51 AM »
I think woman find men with goals more attractive too.  I agree with Bizkit, got to make yourself happy before someone else can make you happy and yea you guys are both too young to be worried about needing to find a girl.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #409 on: May 13, 2015, 11:55:44 AM »
I think woman find men with goals more attractive too.  I agree with Bizkit, got to make yourself happy before someone else can make you happy and yea you guys are both too young to be worried about needing to find a girl.

I'd go a step further for those that aren't "happy"; what I find helpful is to look at it in terms of attitude.  I'm generally a happy guy, but not always (and especially around the time of my divorce).  Sometimes it's enough to just remember that "no one wants to date your issues".  Not saying "hide things" or be "deceitful", but handle them in a way that is palatable.  ALL people have issues, but some of us LIVE our issues.   

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #410 on: May 18, 2015, 05:23:22 AM »
Life is so confusing. Now the girl who is supposedly pregnant with my child wants to move in with me. So we spent most of the weekend together.  She is one I was really hoping it would work with. We struggle a bit but when we're together and everything is working it's perfect chemistry.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #411 on: May 18, 2015, 05:36:39 AM »
Not sure how they do things in England, but I've found online dating sites help with meeting women.  Im not very good at approaching a woman at a bar or any other occasion really so chatting with someone online is much easier.

Problem being, I'm 19, I highly doubt anyone will be near my age, but I may give it a shot, I find it a bit awkward though

Hey, you and I are the same age. What is your biggest goal in life right now?


If I'm honest I don't really have a goal, I just want someone with me if you understand, I can't stand being single, or it feels like theres a hole in my life

Hey, sorry for the late reply. Well everyone is different, but I always feel like you have to first make yourself happy before someone else can make you happy. I know that can be hard, but the best thing to do in the meantime is set goals for yourself. What do you want to do in life? I'm not sure if you're in school or working, but figure out something you want to do, and do it. Also, finding new hobbies is a great way of finding happiness. I just purchased a camera the other day because I'm going to start taking up photography. It's something completely new to me that I never really thought about doing until recently. When you find new hobbies and set goals for yourself, it can really change the way you look at things. I don't want you feeling like the only way to be happy is if you have a companion. I felt like that at one point but it's unhealthy. Plus, we are too young to be stressing so much over relationships. I've had 2 bad break ups, but I'm here today and I remain positive and motivated for whatever comes next.

I'm fairly happy in all aspects of life except this one, I'm in a decent paying (for my age) job, my spare time is spent with friends or playing in one of my 2 bands, My home life could be improved but no major problems.

I think woman find men with goals more attractive too.  I agree with Bizkit, got to make yourself happy before someone else can make you happy and yea you guys are both too young to be worried about needing to find a girl.

I've had this conversation on here before, about being young and what not, why can't people get their heads around a 19 year old wanting a long term settling down relationship? I really don't want to go round woman to woman every week, that's just not who I am.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #412 on: May 18, 2015, 06:44:52 AM »
Nothing wrong with wanting to find a partner for life, my point was I don't see why you "need" to find someone as if like time is running out or something. 

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #413 on: May 18, 2015, 06:50:53 AM »
Nothing wrong with wanting to find a partner for life, my point was I don't see why you "need" to find someone as if like time is running out or something.

I don't really know either, It's just the way I am, I don't feel like myself if I don't have a close partner.

I really have no clue why.

Offline Stadler

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #414 on: May 18, 2015, 07:40:59 AM »
Nothing wrong with wanting to find a partner for life, my point was I don't see why you "need" to find someone as if like time is running out or something.

This was kind of my thought.  It's okay to 'want', to have 'goals', but when the simple achievement of those goals seems to overwhelm the real benefit of the goal (i.e., having "a" partner, instead of waiting until you have "THE" partner) it sort of makes me wonder. 

I don't doubt you know - generally - what you want, but I know for me, what I "thought" I wanted at 19, and what I needed were very very different things.  But I recognize that this is not something that one can be told, and certainly not from someone on the Interwebs, who you've never met.

Offline cramx3

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #415 on: May 18, 2015, 07:59:44 AM »
As for someone who thought they met the love of their life at 19 (I was just about 20, but I did meet here when I was still 19) and then went on to date her and get engaged after 9 years just to find out the two of us arent compatible anymore, I totally agree with the sentiment that what you think you know and want when you are 19 may not be the case later in life.

I get dating isn't for everyone, but I do encourage people to meet more and see what's out there to figure out what you like and don't like.  Settling in with someone because you feel a need for companionship seems unlikely to work out into a successful happy long term relationship.  Not saying it isnt possible, but it's not the way I would go about it and my failed relationship is my biggest regret in life.

Offline Sycsa

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #416 on: May 18, 2015, 08:28:08 AM »
She would get herself all worked up all over again and its like groundhogs day.
:lol


Sycsa is perhaps the most brilliant and insightful man I have ever encountered.

Offline cramx3

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #417 on: May 18, 2015, 03:09:38 PM »
Well the girl I had been seeing for the last month and a half had pushed for a relationship and I crumbled and pulled back.  She was awesome and we had so much fun together, but I only had one issue and that was the I repeatedly asked to take things slow.  She was the first one I dated that I really liked and felt like I could be serious with since my x and from her perspective it was the same since her divorce.  Before we started dating, we both talked about our past and agreed that while we arent against a relationship forming if thats where things go, there is no reason to rush and that we should just have fun and let things play out.  Well we definitely had our fun, but she kept pushing to hang out more and more and eventually I had to tell her that I wanted to take things slowly.  She agreed.  Then it got back where she was asking to hang out everyday and I had to explain to her again that I wanted to take things slow.  She agreed again and said we would only hang out when I ask, which I thought was weird but said OK cause I figure then it will be easier for me and its not like I didnt want to see her, just wanted to limit it to no more than 3 nights a week for now.  Well Friday came along and she just flat out asked if this was going to form into a relationship because she felt thats what she wanted now and I told her I wasnt ready.  Now its over.  I blame myself because I don't feel ready, but part of me feels like I may have lost a girl that seemed really awesome.  I actually feel like I may regret this more so than breaking up with my fiance which is really odd. 

Offline jonnybaxy

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #418 on: May 19, 2015, 05:17:36 AM »
*story*

Well It's better that way rather than going too fast for yourself and ending up worse because you weren't ready, imagine if you said yes and realised you couldn't handle it 6 months down the line, I can guarantee you'd be worse off.


Offline Prog Snob

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #419 on: May 19, 2015, 05:32:17 AM »
Sorry to hear that cram. Maybe you should have given it a shot but then again, if this girl kept pushing for more, who knows what she would have expected once the two of you were in a relationship. I know it upsets you that she ended it but if you're not ready, then you're not ready.


I told my soon to be ex-wife about the girl I got pregnant. She knew she was pregnant already but she assumed I wasn't speaking to her anymore. She had her reasons for not liking her. Yesterday I told her that I had seen her recently and she was less than pleased. We argued over text message and then she showed up to my place when I got home and we argued some more. She told my mother about it and my mother is pissed at me, too. My soon to be ex-wife told me she would not let me see my daughter with this new girl around. She said I can only have supervised visitation. I won't be able to see her every other weekend like I was. She basically did everything but take my daughter away from me completely. So now I'm stuck. I'm in love with this girl I got pregnant but if I stay with her I won't get to see my daughter as much...for now. I know it should be a no-brainer and I should choose my daughter but I'm having a child with this other girl also so it makes it more difficult.