Author Topic: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip  (Read 279613 times)

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Offline Prog Snob

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3710 on: March 04, 2021, 04:32:47 AM »
It has been five years since I've been on a date and nearly six years since I've had sex. I think I've completely forgotten how to meet someone. It was so much easier when I was younger. I remember a stretch in my 20s where I'd meet a new girl every couple of weeks. Now I'm 45 and...who fucking knows what.

Offline The Walrus

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3711 on: March 08, 2021, 07:56:21 AM »
It has been five years since I've been on a date and nearly six years since I've had sex. I think I've completely forgotten how to meet someone. It was so much easier when I was younger. I remember a stretch in my 20s where I'd meet a new girl every couple of weeks. Now I'm 45 and...who fucking knows what.

Never say never, my friend. I'm rooting for you. Ain't nothing wrong with being out of the game for a while. Getting back on the horse is a little awkward though...

I met someone recently. That last girl I was involved with... fuck me, that was nothing more than practice for this. That had absolutely no spark between us, where I was pretending (desperately) that there was something there. But nope. Just met someone I've fallen absolutely head over heels in love for, and the feeling is mutual. I haven't felt this way in such a long time that it's almost scary if we weren't mature enough to know how to communicate properly and accept each other. I cannot remember the last time I was this happy and confident in myself. It is really something else to meet someone who is not only super cute but almost exactly on the same wavelength as you on so many things. Spent the weekend together. Girl cooked me meals and played bartender. Ffff. Life is good...
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3712 on: March 08, 2021, 08:36:58 AM »
All I'll say is that 2021 is officially the year of the walrus. Holy shit.
FTFY

Offline The Walrus

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3713 on: March 08, 2021, 09:40:41 AM »
 :rollin
From a Mega Man Legends island jamming power metal to a Walrus listening to black metal, I like your story arc.
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Offline TheCountOfNYC

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3714 on: March 31, 2021, 07:57:48 PM »
Idk if this is the appropriate place for this, but I genuinely don’t know where to talk about this. So my girlfriend is trying to build her career in film and television production. She’s been gaining momentum in, which is great, but her career is not one of steady jobs with steady hours. It’s a career where you go from one job to the next and the hours are insane, and it’s been taking her away from me. Every time I think I’m gonna have a chance to spend time with her, another job comes calling. We haven’t been intimate since Valentine’s Day because we don’t have the time or privacy for that. She works twelve hour days and by the time she’s done she’s exhausted, so we go days without saying more than two sentences to each other. I’m so afraid that she’s getting consumed by her career and that I’m losing her. I’m trying to build a future, our future, but it’s so hard to put work into a future that she’s barely going to be a part of. I love her so much and I don’t know how to tell her that her work is hurting this relationship. I don’t want to lose her, but it almost feels like our destiny is sealed. If I don’t talk to her, she’s gonna continue to jump into every job without taking a second to think, and it’s gonna pull her away from me. If I do say something, she’s gonna feel like I don’t support her and it may push her further from me anyway. I’m at a loss as to what I should do.
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Offline Phoenix87x

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3715 on: March 31, 2021, 08:38:37 PM »
Idk if this is the appropriate place for this, but I genuinely don’t know where to talk about this. So my girlfriend is trying to build her career in film and television production. She’s been gaining momentum in, which is great, but her career is not one of steady jobs with steady hours. It’s a career where you go from one job to the next and the hours are insane, and it’s been taking her away from me. Every time I think I’m gonna have a chance to spend time with her, another job comes calling. We haven’t been intimate since Valentine’s Day because we don’t have the time or privacy for that. She works twelve hour days and by the time she’s done she’s exhausted, so we go days without saying more than two sentences to each other. I’m so afraid that she’s getting consumed by her career and that I’m losing her. I’m trying to build a future, our future, but it’s so hard to put work into a future that she’s barely going to be a part of. I love her so much and I don’t know how to tell her that her work is hurting this relationship. I don’t want to lose her, but it almost feels like our destiny is sealed. If I don’t talk to her, she’s gonna continue to jump into every job without taking a second to think, and it’s gonna pull her away from me. If I do say something, she’s gonna feel like I don’t support her and it may push her further from me anyway. I’m at a loss as to what I should do.

I broke up with my ex fiance because her three jobs were more important than both me and even her own children. Mine didn't seem to care too much when I talked with her, but that would be a good first step if the situation is really bothering you. Hopefully she'll be receptive, but ultimately its better imo than keeping it bottled up and hurting the way your are.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3716 on: April 01, 2021, 06:12:43 AM »
Idk if this is the appropriate place for this, but I genuinely don’t know where to talk about this. So my girlfriend is trying to build her career in film and television production. She’s been gaining momentum in, which is great, but her career is not one of steady jobs with steady hours. It’s a career where you go from one job to the next and the hours are insane, and it’s been taking her away from me. Every time I think I’m gonna have a chance to spend time with her, another job comes calling. We haven’t been intimate since Valentine’s Day because we don’t have the time or privacy for that. She works twelve hour days and by the time she’s done she’s exhausted, so we go days without saying more than two sentences to each other. I’m so afraid that she’s getting consumed by her career and that I’m losing her. I’m trying to build a future, our future, but it’s so hard to put work into a future that she’s barely going to be a part of. I love her so much and I don’t know how to tell her that her work is hurting this relationship. I don’t want to lose her, but it almost feels like our destiny is sealed. If I don’t talk to her, she’s gonna continue to jump into every job without taking a second to think, and it’s gonna pull her away from me. If I do say something, she’s gonna feel like I don’t support her and it may push her further from me anyway. I’m at a loss as to what I should do.

This one hurts. Was in a very similar situation. Girlfriend at the time took a random admissions counselor job because it was close to the house I bought, and then five years later she's the fucking director of admissions for the University. She grinded and busted her ass, but it ruined every facet of her life including our relationship. It became her life. Nothing else mattered. She lost all of her friends except for those at work, got a DUI and lost her license, etc. She'd work 120+ hour weeks for months straight, and if she did manage to get a few hours away from her work computer, she'd just sink into the couch and endlessly scroll on Instagram for a few hours.

It was incredibly sad to watch, and my house is still filled with a ton of her shit. We kept the relationship glued together for a little more than seven years, but we haven't spoken since a massive fight on Jan 2nd of this year. We're supposed to meet up tonight. Idk what's going to come of it. I'm about as broken as I can be right now, so it's probably not going to be pleasant.

I resent her for her success because of what she was willing to trade in exchange for it. It was more than just her time and effort. It was anything good and enjoyable in her life. It was 20% of my life and years of effort trying build a future together. I'm heartbroken over it, yet angrier at it than just about anything else in my life up to this point. Maybe I'm just lazy, but there's nothing in this world I love enough to want to dedicate my entire waking existence to, especially if it means sacrificing everything else in the process. I'm inclined to say it's time for you to leave, but I'm basing that entirely off my situation and am kind of just rambling at this point. 

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3717 on: April 01, 2021, 07:52:02 AM »
Count, you really need to have that conversation.  It might not be easy and you might get answers that you don't like, but I don't see any other option than to tell her how you feel.  If in the end, she wants the career more than you, there's not really anything you can do to change that so it's best to just get the answers now than let it continue to muster inside you.

Chino, I'm sorry but I really think you need to cut ties with this girl.  The on/off thing is way too emotionally stressful and won't ever work long term IMO.  We're only getting older.  That was my big regret with my x fiance, I let that thing go on way too long when it was clear we couldn't hold a healthy relationship together.

As for myself, I haven't had sex since September and haven't gone on a single date since breaking up with my x back then.  I've hardly tried, but I changed my bumble pic a couple weeks ago and got a bunch of hits, including one girl I've been texting with a lot.  Maybe, just maybe, I might be able to go on a date.

Also, I did a face time chat with another girl a couple weeks ago.  I was pretty sure I wasn't too interested in this girl initially but when she offered I figured I could use the practice.  Funny, I thought it went really well.  45 minute video conversation flew by and she was much more attractive than her pictures... sadly enough, afterwards she said she didn't want to continue  :lol funny how the tables turned, but it's all good.  That was much needed practice for when I want to actually pursue a female, which I kind of am doing with this girl I've been texting.  She's much prettier than what I typically can get, she's super smart, owns a home, works hard... I just don't want to blow it from my current inexperience.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3718 on: April 01, 2021, 08:01:24 AM »

Chino, I'm sorry but I really think you need to cut ties with this girl.  The on/off thing is way too emotionally stressful and won't ever work long term IMO.  We're only getting older.  That was my big regret with my x fiance, I let that thing go on way too long when it was clear we couldn't hold a healthy relationship together.



Yeah, I know. I hear yah. I think about it all the time.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3719 on: April 01, 2021, 08:19:33 AM »
Look, I don't want to sound like you guys' dad or anything, but it's really helpful to step out of your circumstance and try to look at it from a different perspective.   I consider you - Chino - my friend so I mean this with love and compassion (though I would extend this advice to Count as well)... these women are making informed adult decisions.   At some point you have to reconcile that they are doing this of their own volition.   You can - and should - have the talk, put your feelings on the table; that's what happens in a healthy, productive relationship.  But I would go in objectively as you can, with the possibility already accounted for that this is her willful choice.   

You guys are describing my ex-wife.  And we've been divorced now for eight+ years, we've both remarried, and she's STILL on a plane three times a month. She's still on conference calls at 8:00 at night.  She's still at work events that extend into the evening.   At first I thought it was her running from me, but it wasn't; she might still be "running", but it's herself she's running from and there's nothing I'm going to do to change that.  Nor, apparently, is her new husband.   Not to judge, or compare, but I think Marc is doing it the right way; organically, reasonably, putting himself out there without sliding all his chips into the center on each encounter.   Just talk to people, interact.  Be yourself; you all have a LOT to offer the right person, you just have to realize that "the next person" doesn't make them automatically "the right person".

Lecture over.  Pics or it didn't happen!  :) :) :)

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3720 on: April 01, 2021, 08:29:48 AM »
Look, I don't want to sound like you guys' dad or anything, but it's really helpful to step out of your circumstance and try to look at it from a different perspective.   I consider you - Chino - my friend so I mean this with love and compassion (though I would extend this advice to Count as well)... these women are making informed adult decisions.   At some point you have to reconcile that they are doing this of their own volition.   You can - and should - have the talk, put your feelings on the table; that's what happens in a healthy, productive relationship.  But I would go in objectively as you can, with the possibility already accounted for that this is her willful choice.   

You guys are describing my ex-wife.  And we've been divorced now for eight+ years, we've both remarried, and she's STILL on a plane three times a month. She's still on conference calls at 8:00 at night.  She's still at work events that extend into the evening.   At first I thought it was her running from me, but it wasn't; she might still be "running", but it's herself she's running from and there's nothing I'm going to do to change that.  Nor, apparently, is her new husband.   Not to judge, or compare, but I think Marc is doing it the right way; organically, reasonably, putting himself out there without sliding all his chips into the center on each encounter.   Just talk to people, interact.  Be yourself; you all have a LOT to offer the right person, you just have to realize that "the next person" doesn't make them automatically "the right person".

Lecture over.  Pics or it didn't happen!  :) :) :)

I'm entirely onboard with it being her decision. I don't think I at any time considered it her running away or avoiding me. Her and I will never see eye-to-eye on this topic. Just sucks is all.

Offline TheCountOfNYC

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3721 on: April 01, 2021, 06:44:47 PM »
I spoke to her. It was a tough conversation but we both understand what we need from each other now. Thank you guys for the advice. I really do think this girl is the one so I tend to react very strongly when something isn’t quite right with her.
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3722 on: April 02, 2021, 08:32:36 AM »
I spoke to her. It was a tough conversation but we both understand what we need from each other now. Thank you guys for the advice. I really do think this girl is the one so I tend to react very strongly when something isn’t quite right with her.

That's great to hear.  Try to keep that communication open too as time goes on.

The girl I'd been chatting with stopped responding to me yesterday after noon and I'm sitting here like  :facepalm: I jinxed myself by talking about it here (as I hadn't told anyone I've been trying to date again) but then she surprisingly called me last night and we had a wonderful phone conversation where she even apologized for not being able to get back to me.  Not sure what we are doing, but we scheduled a date for Saturday.  I don't know how you date during these times, but I'm pretty excited to finally have an opportunity to meet a girl again.  Now I need to scramble to get a hair cut  :lol

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3723 on: April 05, 2021, 08:51:10 AM »
Went on my first date in a long time last weekend.  Went out to a local brewery which was really nice.  We chatted non stop for about 2.5 hours over 1 beer each.  I texted her afterwards that it was nice to meet and I'd like to continue, but she friend zoned me. Honestly not surprised, even though our conversation was fluid and solid, some of the things we both talked about made me feel like we might be too opposites of each other and she rubbed off to me as a "career dater" as in someone who never had a serious relationship and seems to just want to date different people.  So I will take the positives of a nice evening out with an attractive female and the experience points as my social game definitely took a dive during the last year of this pandemic.  I honestly feel pretty good coming out of that date.  It didn't work out, but I'm not wasting my time and got to actually have some social fun in public again. 

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3724 on: April 05, 2021, 09:56:38 AM »
Awesome, man.  I love your attitude (seriously).

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3725 on: May 17, 2021, 07:14:53 AM »
So Victoria officially moved out two weeks ago. She cleared my house of anything she wanted and left her set of keys. She left her cat too, so now I'm officially a cat dad.

I've been talking to/seeing a number of girls off of a few of the dating sites. A girl came over last night and stayed for a few hours. We had a fantastic time. She's a therapist who's in the process of opening her own practice. She's also divorced with no children, and she recently started a podcast about navigating the world of divorce as a woman, and she brings on other divorced women to talk about their shared experiences. I found the podcast this morning, and I'm really tempted to give it a listen. I admittedly listened to the 90 second "Let Me Introduce Myself" first episode, but I'm debating listening to the three real episodes that follow that one. What do you guys think? Is that creepy?

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3726 on: May 17, 2021, 08:15:56 AM »
Not really.  She mentioned it and then you found it?  I don't think it's creepy.  I see it no different than going through someone's social media if they put it out there. 

It's interesting, because I put my youtube in my bumble profile recently.  Fuck it, I say.  If someone is turned off, fine you weren't for me, but at least I got a view or two  :lol But funny enough, not a single girl I've matched with (and even the couple I've gone on dates witH) have mentioned it though  :lol

Having said that, I went on a date two weeks ago.  It was nice, but nothing special.  We both agreed on going on a 2nd date and then we both stopped texting  :lol which worked well because I had started chatting with another girl who I was connecting with a lot more.

So I met the newer girl on Friday night and we had a nice two hour convo.  She's super smart which I really find attractive and she's a nerd like myself.  3 dates in the last two months and I found a girl I actually like and kissed her after the date.  We are working on arranging a second date to get some korean bbq. 

Offline Lonk

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3727 on: May 17, 2021, 08:25:45 AM »
.
« Last Edit: May 17, 2021, 08:56:32 AM by Vmadera00 »
Vmadera has evolved into Lonk

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3728 on: May 17, 2021, 11:33:58 AM »
So Victoria officially moved out two weeks ago. She cleared my house of anything she wanted and left her set of keys. She left her cat too, so now I'm officially a cat dad.

Is it the evil one you posted in the mildly irritating thread with a dog, or is that another cat? Because if it's another cat, you've got to pay the cat tax and post a pic.
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3729 on: May 17, 2021, 12:12:04 PM »
Lol



I should start posting& reading this thread.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3730 on: May 17, 2021, 12:21:49 PM »
Not really.  She mentioned it and then you found it?  I don't think it's creepy.  I see it no different than going through someone's social media if they put it out there. 

It's interesting, because I put my youtube in my bumble profile recently.  Fuck it, I say.  If someone is turned off, fine you weren't for me, but at least I got a view or two  :lol But funny enough, not a single girl I've matched with (and even the couple I've gone on dates witH) have mentioned it though  :lol

Having said that, I went on a date two weeks ago.  It was nice, but nothing special.  We both agreed on going on a 2nd date and then we both stopped texting  :lol which worked well because I had started chatting with another girl who I was connecting with a lot more.

So I met the newer girl on Friday night and we had a nice two hour convo.  She's super smart which I really find attractive and she's a nerd like myself.  3 dates in the last two months and I found a girl I actually like and kissed her after the date.  We are working on arranging a second date to get some korean bbq.

I'm glad I'm not dating; I can't keep up with the lingo!   :) :) :)

In all seriousness, good luck.  I hope it works out.  I like your approach to the Youtube; there's a limit of course (I think we all have to make SOME compromises in our relationships; you can't just go around farting and picking your nose and expect everyone to ignore it) but for something like that - and for me, it's being a Kiss fan - it is what it is.  I'd rather not spend the next 20 years of my life listening to "why do you listen to that crap? When are you going to grow up?" nonsense.  You don't have to like it yourself, but just tolerate that I do.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3731 on: May 17, 2021, 12:25:24 PM »
So Victoria officially moved out two weeks ago. She cleared my house of anything she wanted and left her set of keys. She left her cat too, so now I'm officially a cat dad.

I've been talking to/seeing a number of girls off of a few of the dating sites. A girl came over last night and stayed for a few hours. We had a fantastic time. She's a therapist who's in the process of opening her own practice. She's also divorced with no children, and she recently started a podcast about navigating the world of divorce as a woman, and she brings on other divorced women to talk about their shared experiences. I found the podcast this morning, and I'm really tempted to give it a listen. I admittedly listened to the 90 second "Let Me Introduce Myself" first episode, but I'm debating listening to the three real episodes that follow that one. What do you guys think? Is that creepy?

If she's putting it out there, then I think it's okay to listen.  It only gets creepy if you're not honest about it and start incorporating the things you learn from it without being upfront about it.  That's just me, though.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3732 on: May 17, 2021, 12:27:25 PM »
Not really.  She mentioned it and then you found it?  I don't think it's creepy.  I see it no different than going through someone's social media if they put it out there. 

It's interesting, because I put my youtube in my bumble profile recently.  Fuck it, I say.  If someone is turned off, fine you weren't for me, but at least I got a view or two  :lol But funny enough, not a single girl I've matched with (and even the couple I've gone on dates witH) have mentioned it though  :lol

Having said that, I went on a date two weeks ago.  It was nice, but nothing special.  We both agreed on going on a 2nd date and then we both stopped texting  :lol which worked well because I had started chatting with another girl who I was connecting with a lot more.

So I met the newer girl on Friday night and we had a nice two hour convo.  She's super smart which I really find attractive and she's a nerd like myself.  3 dates in the last two months and I found a girl I actually like and kissed her after the date.  We are working on arranging a second date to get some korean bbq.

I'm glad I'm not dating; I can't keep up with the lingo!   :) :) :)

In all seriousness, good luck.  I hope it works out.  I like your approach to the Youtube; there's a limit of course (I think we all have to make SOME compromises in our relationships; you can't just go around farting and picking your nose and expect everyone to ignore it) but for something like that - and for me, it's being a Kiss fan - it is what it is.  I'd rather not spend the next 20 years of my life listening to "why do you listen to that crap? When are you going to grow up?" nonsense.  You don't have to like it yourself, but just tolerate that I do.

I was chatting with a girl like a month ago, I told her I like to video game and she kind of made fun of me.  Figured might as well just put that in the profile and avoid that situation.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3733 on: May 21, 2021, 01:46:50 PM »
It has been five years since I've been on a date and nearly six years since I've had sex. I think I've completely forgotten how to meet someone. It was so much easier when I was younger. I remember a stretch in my 20s where I'd meet a new girl every couple of weeks. Now I'm 45 and...who fucking knows what.

I've been there before.  I think it was from 2003 to 2009.  No dating, no casual sex, no nothing.  Honestly, the only thing I missed was the sex.  Started dating again in 2009, had sex for 3 months then dumped her.  Nothing but drama.  Didn't meet the love of my life until around September 2011.  We were together for 3 years and then she got sick.  She was the best lover and friend, but even though we didn't have much sex for the next two years, it didn't matter because I loved her.  She died unexpectedly in 2016 due a complication from the cancer she was trying to beat.  Since then, I don't really know if I was meant to be with anyone.  Had a couple gf's and in a relationship now, but it just isn't the same.  Can't bring myself to fully commit like I did with my late gf.  However, if you haven't met that one special person yet, you never know when or where it might happen.
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"There's not a pill you can take.  There's not a class you can go to.  Stupid is foreva."  -Ron White

Online cramx3

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3734 on: May 21, 2021, 01:49:52 PM »
Damn dude, sorry to hear about your loss. Can't imagine losing a loved one.

In personal news, had a second date last night.  Got some korean fried wings, which was banging and a nice hour or so with the date.  We kissed after, actually we kissed after the first date, but that was more of a peck on the lips, yesterday was a bit more sensual and meaningful.  Felt nice to have that real human contact against, first time since last September.  I think we will be seeing each other again.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3735 on: May 21, 2021, 02:11:27 PM »
Happy for you, man!   Fingers crossed!

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3736 on: May 24, 2021, 07:11:48 AM »
I've been a bit of a slut lately. With Covid finally lifting, women are more willing than ever to get out and do stuff. This honestly might be the golden age of online dating. It's been like shooting fish in a barrel. It's actually kind of amazing how many girls are willing to go over your house after like nine messages exchanged (though one girl asked for a picture of my driver's license with certain info crossed out). 

I have met one really cool girl though, and we hung out four times since last week. She's moving really fast, but I'm not looking to waste any time here, so I'm going to run with it.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3737 on: May 24, 2021, 07:18:44 AM »
Hey, what two consenting adults do with their free time is up to them.   Good for you (though I will remind you of the forum prime directive:  "pics or it didn't happen".   HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA)

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3738 on: May 24, 2021, 08:31:58 AM »
I've noticed an uptick as well and many online profiles saying "Vaccinated" in them.

For myself, if a girl wanted to hang 4 times in a week that would be a red flag.  The couple times I experienced that, the girls were a bit psycho and super attached which is very uncomfortable for me especially when I hardly know them.  That's just me though, I also like to take things slow so if it works out for you, more power to you.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3739 on: December 21, 2021, 08:50:04 PM »
Huh


I think I may have just joined this club
I just don't understand what they were trying to achieve with any part of the song, either individually or as a whole. You know what? It's the Platypus of Dream Theater songs. That bill doesn't go with that tail, or that strange little furry body, or those webbed feet, and oh god why does it have venomous spurs!? And then you find out it lays eggs too. The difference is that the Platypus is somehow functional despite being a crazy mishmash or leftover animal pieces

-BlobVanDam on "Scarred"

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3740 on: December 21, 2021, 09:24:53 PM »
I've been in this club forever. It keeps making me sad with every concert I go to and I'm thinking in every show, I'm the only single male guy in the room.  Even seeing Metallica twice last weekend, you see people with their families or couples or groups of guys.  The single life has its perks, but I question how long it can last for to still be enjoyable for me.

Offline Phoenix87x

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3741 on: December 22, 2021, 05:02:51 AM »
I've been in the club since the end of the summer. Getting near my mid 30's its even more annoying since I'm ready to start a family and I'm not getting any younger.

Random questions though:

Say for instance it is 1990. There's no internet, no social media, no dating sites.

  -Do you think we would be dating more often/having more success dating?

  -Do you think technology has made the overall situation easier or harder?

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3742 on: December 22, 2021, 08:11:39 AM »
I've been in this club forever. It keeps making me sad with every concert I go to and I'm thinking in every show, I'm the only single male guy in the room.  Even seeing Metallica twice last weekend, you see people with their families or couples or groups of guys.  The single life has its perks, but I question how long it can last for to still be enjoyable for me.


As a married guy that goes to shows primarily alone, don't overstate that.   Some shows seem to have more "families" than others - the more classic the band, it seems the more that happens - but in my experience, you're certainly NOT the only single guy in the audience. 

Part of this club is "mental", keeping things in perspective, and I say that as someone that was a full-fledged member in the years following my divorce.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3743 on: January 27, 2022, 11:24:57 AM »
It has been five years since I've been on a date and nearly six years since I've had sex. I think I've completely forgotten how to meet someone. It was so much easier when I was younger. I remember a stretch in my 20s where I'd meet a new girl every couple of weeks. Now I'm 45 and...who fucking knows what.
This one hurts. Was in a very similar situation. Girlfriend at the time took a random admissions counselor job because it was close to the house I bought, and then five years later she's the fucking director of admissions for the University. She grinded and busted her ass, but it ruined every facet of her life including our relationship. It became her life. Nothing else mattered. She lost all of her friends except for those at work, got a DUI and lost her license, etc. She'd work 120+ hour weeks for months straight, and if she did manage to get a few hours away from her work computer, she'd just sink into the couch and endlessly scroll on Instagram for a few hours.

It was incredibly sad to watch, and my house is still filled with a ton of her shit. We kept the relationship glued together for a little more than seven years, but we haven't spoken since a massive fight on Jan 2nd of this year. We're supposed to meet up tonight. Idk what's going to come of it. I'm about as broken as I can be right now, so it's probably not going to be pleasant.

I resent her for her success because of what she was willing to trade in exchange for it. It was more than just her time and effort. It was anything good and enjoyable in her life. It was 20% of my life and years of effort trying build a future together. I'm heartbroken over it, yet angrier at it than just about anything else in my life up to this point. Maybe I'm just lazy, but there's nothing in this world I love enough to want to dedicate my entire waking existence to, especially if it means sacrificing everything else in the process. I'm inclined to say it's time for you to leave, but I'm basing that entirely off my situation and am kind of just rambling at this point.

Shit, how time flies. I haven't been on DTF for a few years now, but I used to lurk around in this thread, and I remember like it was yesterday when Prog Snob relished in his latest conquest, even posting a picture of a tattooed (?) girl with the caption "This is what the snob snogged", or something to that effect. :lol

I also recall Chino being really happy and enthused with his increasingly serious relationship, talking about marriage and all the ways they complement each other.

These comments hit me hard just now and I'm really sorry to see these dramatic turn of events. Life is slowly passing us by and it might not turn out the way we hoped it would. I hope you guys will find your footing and wish you all the best.
« Last Edit: January 27, 2022, 11:42:14 AM by Sycsa »


Sycsa is perhaps the most brilliant and insightful man I have ever encountered.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3744 on: January 27, 2022, 12:13:38 PM »
Sycsa, I don't really know you (though I've seen the name) but I have a saying around here: "Man plans, and God laughs."   And these past couple years have seemingly beat us over the head with that idea.