Author Topic: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip  (Read 124146 times)

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Offline Harmony

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3325 on: June 28, 2019, 08:41:04 AM »
I was pretty upfront with her. I explained that I saw some posts she made on Facebook and I was worried she wouldn't like where I stood on a lot of issues. I went on to basically say "This is where I stand on a lot of hot button issues" and proceeded to list them all. She replied with a "I'm not really into politics (despite her FB page being flooded with the contrary), and we def don't see eye to eye on some of those things. They aren't deal breakers for me, and as long as we agree to never discuss politics, I don't have a problem with it. I guess this is on you". I went on to explain that at this stage of my life, my mind is on financial stability and starting a family. While where we both stand on issues isn't necessarily a deal breaker for me persae, I fear that disagreements on what politics revolves around could make raising children problematic. I told her my last relationship blew apart because there were fundamental conflicting views on life that we brushed under the rug in the beginning stages, and they didn't stay there. I said something like "Because we didn't address those thoughts and feelings early on, I feel like I ended up wasting almost 7 years of my life. I can't afford to do that again".

She got pissed. Gave me a "Wow. I don't know how to reply to that. Just wow. Nite".   

FWIW, you aren't being a dick.  At all.

I'm a huge believer in trusting your gut.  I think what stands out to me is how she handled this part of the conversation.  She denies what you've seen with your own eyes on her page, "I'm not really into politics."  Then she wants you to agree to never discuss politics with her?  "I guess this is on you"?  That doesn't seem very honest or realistic when considering any kind of long term relationship.

Maybe she just needs a little time to warm up to the idea of having an honest discussion with you about some of the concerning things you saw on her social media posts.  Some people just start off defensive and then once the dust settles, they are willing to put in the time and effort. From where I'm sitting, she sounds maybe a bit immature.  I think the way she handles this moving forward - if there is any moving forward - is going to be how you know for sure.

For me, the vaccine thing alone is a bigger issue than the politics.  If you are going to raise children with someone and you are pro-science and they are pro-woo, then that's going to be a huge problem and that shit needs to be addressed right out of the gate.  It could be that she's just uninformed and you could be the right person to give her the facts and inform her.  But if she's not even open to the discussion then that in and of itself is very telling.

I wish you luck and thank my damn lucky stars that I am not in the dating world.


Offline JayOctavarium

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3326 on: June 28, 2019, 08:56:14 AM »
Either she's lying out her teeth, or she's a sheep listening to friends / family and posts a bunch of crap and doesn't have a clue what she is posting. I am not a fan of sheeple like that (on either side of the political spectrum.

You are not the asshole.

(I have spent too much time on r/amitheasshole recently)
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3327 on: June 28, 2019, 10:59:01 AM »
What does "pro-woo" mean/stand for?

Offline Harmony

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3328 on: June 28, 2019, 11:15:02 AM »
https://rationalwiki.org/wiki/Woo

I'm pressed for time and this kind of gives an over-view.  Marianne Williamson would fall into the "pro-woo" category IMO.

Offline cramx3

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3329 on: June 28, 2019, 11:36:57 AM »
My friend used to make a fruity shot called a Woowoo and it was delicious.  That was a popular shot choice sophomore year in college.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3330 on: June 28, 2019, 11:45:19 AM »
I think Jingle is right as rain
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3331 on: June 28, 2019, 12:31:21 PM »
My friend used to make a fruity shot called a Woowoo and it was delicious.  That was a popular shot choice sophomore year in college.

I have had more than one of those myself.  :)

Offline Harmony

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3332 on: June 28, 2019, 02:44:03 PM »
My friend used to make a fruity shot called a Woowoo and it was delicious.  That was a popular shot choice sophomore year in college.

I had to look that one up.  It sounds delicious and I'd probably be up for one, especially on a hot summer's day.  But I could see how a bunch of them could equal a really pounding headache the next day. 

Offline cramx3

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3333 on: June 28, 2019, 03:04:43 PM »
My friend used to make a fruity shot called a Woowoo and it was delicious.  That was a popular shot choice sophomore year in college.

I had to look that one up.  It sounds delicious and I'd probably be up for one, especially on a hot summer's day.  But I could see how a bunch of them could equal a really pounding headache the next day.

Oh yea, that was back in college when I could handle those types of drinks.  Now I can't drink too much sugar or I feel really sick.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3334 on: June 28, 2019, 03:14:21 PM »
My friend used to make a fruity shot called a Woowoo and it was delicious.  That was a popular shot choice sophomore year in college.

I had to look that one up.  It sounds delicious and I'd probably be up for one, especially on a hot summer's day.  But I could see how a bunch of them could equal a really pounding headache the next day.

Oh yea, that was back in college when I could handle those types of drinks.  Now I can't drink too much sugar or I feel really sick.

A friend of mine loves drinking those 24 oz Mike's Harders... I like them once in a while but the amount of sugar + alcohol makes for a wicked hangover if you have enough. Blech...
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3335 on: June 28, 2019, 03:23:21 PM »
I feel bloated right after it and uninterested in drinking anymore, I don't even need to wait till the next to to regret drinking more than one of those.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3336 on: June 28, 2019, 08:16:07 PM »
I'm a vodka guy and the flavored/infused vodkas knock me for a loop.  Can't drink them for the hangovers.   I'm guessing it's all the sugar, but I have no idea. 

Offline Phoenix87x

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3337 on: July 09, 2019, 06:56:52 AM »
Anyone else start to lose attraction when they find out someone they are interested in makes bad financial decisions?

There was this person I had feelings for, but then I found out that not only did they have massive debt (Not just student loans), but continued to regularly make really bad decisions that put themselves into even more debt. There was Zero thought toward the future. It was solely "I want, I buy". Then rinse and repeat.

Maybe its because I'm looking for someone to have a kid with, which includes many years of financial decisions regarding the kid's well being, but I pretty much lost all interest in the person. 

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3338 on: July 09, 2019, 07:12:17 AM »
Yes.  I think it becomes important as you get older that you need to be financially responsible.  Large debt, not student loans or mortgage or medical, would be a big red flag to me.  I know I am not looking to support other people's bad spending habits with my work ethic.

I don't yet have any desire to go out looking for girls, I want to keep working on myself, but I would be lying if I said I wouldn't mind meeting someone cool this weekend at Warped Tour in AC

Yea, so warped weekend in AC was pretty lit  :o I met a girl down there, we had some fun, but it's funny because she added me on facebook and her posts are such a huge turn off.  Granted, I was never interested in more than someone to meet and have fun with over the weekend, but just seeing how this girl posts on facebook was scary to ever take her seriously (she was aggressive towards anyone).  But she took a picture of us and said she wanted to post it on facebook and I had to ask her not to.  Kind of awkward, but I really didn't want her sharing pics of us together for my family to see and I don't even really know her.  I didn't have a problem being in a picture, just told her facebook is more private for me and she could tag me on twitter or instagram (which she didn't).  Maybe I am the weird one now with social media.

Offline Grappler

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3339 on: July 09, 2019, 07:24:05 AM »
just told her facebook is more private for me and she could tag me on twitter or instagram (which she didn't).  Maybe I am the weird one now with social media.

Don't feel weird at all.  I know people who do nothing but share 50 memes a day or posts about amber alerts, lost children or lost dogs, yet share zero about their personal life.  I use my social media to share things solely about my personal life so my friends and family can see that, and I rarely share stupid crap that nobody cares about.  We all use social media differently and you're allowed to say "hey, don't tag me, or put that out there." 


Anyone else start to lose attraction when they find out someone they are interested in makes bad financial decisions?

I wouldn't say attraction at this point in my life, but definitely a loss of respect.  I have several family member's on my wife's side of the family that drive me crazy with their financial decisions, which continue on and on, year after year.  They just don't ever learn, from their past or from advice we all give them.  At some point, adults should grow up and learn to manage their money wisely.  Yet, here they are, in their 30's, 40's and 60's and each person generally makes dumb decisions when it comes to spending and not saving. 

Offline Chino

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3340 on: July 09, 2019, 07:50:55 AM »
Anyone else start to lose attraction when they find out someone they are interested in makes bad financial decisions?


At it's core, finances were the primary factor in me never being able to pull the proposal trigger with Victoria. Any resentment or frustration I ever had with her could somehow be traced back to financials. She was so bad with money. We were collectively making $130K a year with no kids and just barely breaking even every month. We had separate bank accounts and she'd just give me $700 a month toward whatever expenses we had. I was trusting her to maybe pay off some of the $80K student loans she had, but that didn't seem to be a priority. Getting an ungodly amount of clothes and multiple candle loot crates a month ($30+ a throw) were more important. I'd get called cheap for not wanting to book an international vacation on a credit card when we weren't making enough to pay it back in a reasonable period of time.   

Then came the day when I finally got her to talk about her credit card debt. Now, I always knew she was a train wreck with credit cards. I may have shared here before that I once overheard her, her mother, and her aunt having a conversation about CC use and them telling her things like 'just pay back $10 a month and don't worry about. As long as you give them something, they can't come after you". Anyway, she revealed that not only did she not know how much credit card debt she had, she didn't even know how many cards it was across. Her best guess was "I might have less than $30K in credit card debt". From that point on, my brain noped the fuck out. I stayed around a few more months trying to find any path forward, but I couldn't find one after that.   

She started working a ton, blaming it on me and how I never thought she made enough money. What she made meant nothing to me. How she spent what she made meant everything. She was spending $350+ on Uber Eats and Door Dash and putting it all on credit cards. It was madness. It's like the words "interest payments" didn't exist in her reality. I'd try explaining to her how that $30 in Jake's Wayback she just ordered was going to end up costing $100+ by the time she paid it off, but she didn't want to hear it.     


Maybe I'm materialistic as hell (I don't think I am), but I'm struggling with this in the dating world now too. It's almost to the point where the girls without college that still work hard but have no student loan debt are more attractive than the ones who went to/are still in school with $75K+ loans. I feel like an asshole for thinking that way some times. I started seeing this other girl recently and we have another date tonight. She's really cool, but she told me when we went out the other night that she doesn't have a 401K plan and doesn't intend to start one (or any kind of alternate). She's 28. I hate saying it, but that alone could be a deal breaker. It's not just the money aspect though, it's the underlying thought process behind it. Unless she's part a family that's got a huge trust for her that I haven't been told about yet, what does one have going on in their head to think that they don't need any kind of financial safety net for down the line? Terminal illness maybe? I don't get it.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3341 on: July 09, 2019, 07:55:50 AM »
Unless she's part a family that's got a huge trust for her that I haven't been told about yet, what does one have going on in their head to think that they don't need any kind of financial safety net for down the line? Terminal illness maybe? I don't get it.

Just throwing my two cents in here, as a fellow 28 year-old who is struggling to get by: it's really hard to even entertain the idea of a 401k when it's hard enough to pay the bills and try to sock away a little emergency cash. Of course she could be far better off than me, but I know a ton of people my age who haven't even begun to think about anything like that stuff because it's just not within financial grasp to do so. Now of course she might have a 4 year college degree and a dope job. But... you never know what's going on behind the scenes in a person's life. 28 is still pretty young.
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3342 on: July 09, 2019, 07:59:44 AM »
Well, she's young enough that you might be able to get her to change her mind about a retirement plan.  I think being anti 401k is much better than being OK with credit card debt.  I think under the age of 30 it's hard to grasp saving for retirement, so I could let that slip a bit and see where she is with everything else before letting that be a hold up.  30k in credit card debt is fucking scary though and not knowing about it makes me think it's probably even worse. 

I find smartness attractive personally.  If you aren't on or near my intelligence level, things just aren't going to work.  Handling finances is part of that, especially as we get older.  I couldn't care how much you make (my x made very little, it was never an issue since she lived in her means) but how you think about and treat your money and valuables is important.

Offline Chino

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3343 on: July 09, 2019, 08:16:52 AM »
Unless she's part a family that's got a huge trust for her that I haven't been told about yet, what does one have going on in their head to think that they don't need any kind of financial safety net for down the line? Terminal illness maybe? I don't get it.

Just throwing my two cents in here, as a fellow 28 year-old who is struggling to get by: it's really hard to even entertain the idea of a 401k when it's hard enough to pay the bills and try to sock away a little emergency cash. Of course she could be far better off than me, but I know a ton of people my age who haven't even begun to think about anything like that stuff because it's just not within financial grasp to do so. Now of course she might have a 4 year college degree and a dope job. But... you never know what's going on behind the scenes in a person's life. 28 is still pretty young.

Oh I get that. I have many friends that are in the same boat. I've also seen long marriages implode because of financial differences, and I'm really just trying to avoid that. I sympathize, for sure. And again, it's more of her not having the intention of starting one that I see as a red flag, not necessarily the fact she doesn't have one yet. She's a single homeowner working two jobs just like me. There could be an underlying story I don't know about, and I'm willing to stick around until I hear it.

Well, she's young enough that you might be able to get her to change her mind about a retirement plan.  I think being anti 401k is much better than being OK with credit card debt. I think under the age of 30 it's hard to grasp saving for retirement, so I could let that slip a bit and see where she is with everything else before letting that be a hold up.  30k in credit card debt is fucking scary though and not knowing about it makes me think it's probably even worse. 

I try to lean this way too.

I'm not bragging here, I hope it's not interpreted as such. I'm just putting where my head is at into context. I'm a half year out from turning 31 and I just crossed $75K in my 401K accounts. Getting my plan going at the age of 21 will most likely be the smartest financial move I ever make. Even when I was only making $11-$12 an hour, I was still sticking 10% of my gross in there.  My life could go to complete shit. I could end up in a gutter for the next 35 years eating out of dumpsters, but when I'm eligible, I'm going to have a few hundred thousands dollars at my disposal just because of what's in there now. If I manage to not fuck up too bad and stay corporate until I retire, and assuming a 5% annual average, a $1.5M 401K balance is well within reach. I can't help but think that if I found a girl in a similar position with the same outlook, retirement and the later years should be worry free. I'm seeing so many people in my parents' age bracket (early to mid 60s) who are all now in full on panics as they realize they're approaching 70 and have next to nothing saved up. It's a position I don't ever want to be in.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3344 on: July 09, 2019, 08:31:21 AM »
Yea I understand.  If she is a homeowner though, that's a positive for a financial analysis if you want to call it that.  A home is an investment too.  I think my only point was that no 401k is something I could look past but 30k in credit debt I couldn't.

Also you mentioned the amount spent on ubereats and whatnot, damn how true is that.  I haven't eaten out in quite a bit now (and ordered delivery even longer) and it's saving me so much money.  It's actually allowing me to keep my concert habbit while making up my brother's lost rent on my house by just not eating out  :lol  Damn I spent a lot of money on food when eating out.  Yesterday's food bill was like 5 bucks from just eating shit I bought and made compared to a $10 lunch and $15 dinner I would often eat. 

Which then leads me back to working out and dieting which is something I've been working hard at.  I haven't weighed myself in awhile so I couldn't tell you pounds lost, but I could give you a metric of going down two belt buckles already and that my pants and shirts are all very loose now.  Been 2 months since the break up so that's 2 months of dieting and slowly building up a work out routine.  I am able to fit into some shirts I haven't in awhile.  It feels good.  I'm not there yet, but I can see results now. 

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3345 on: July 09, 2019, 08:33:54 AM »
I got you, Chino.  :tup I get what you're saying and where you're coming from. Just throwing my hat in the ring for a minute. No judgment whatsoever.
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3346 on: July 11, 2019, 10:17:18 AM »
Unless she's part a family that's got a huge trust for her that I haven't been told about yet, what does one have going on in their head to think that they don't need any kind of financial safety net for down the line? Terminal illness maybe? I don't get it.

Just throwing my two cents in here, as a fellow 28 year-old who is struggling to get by: it's really hard to even entertain the idea of a 401k when it's hard enough to pay the bills and try to sock away a little emergency cash. Of course she could be far better off than me, but I know a ton of people my age who haven't even begun to think about anything like that stuff because it's just not within financial grasp to do so. Now of course she might have a 4 year college degree and a dope job. But... you never know what's going on behind the scenes in a person's life. 28 is still pretty young.

Relatively late regarding these posts, but I'm turning 27 in a few weeks, and I want to start a 401k, but I don't know how I want to go about it that can get me maximum value.  It also doesn't help that when it comes to expenses like making monthly car payments and rent and then I take a look at my bank account, I think that the time is not right now to start a 401k for me.  It's not like I'm lighting money on fire.  I try to keep my regular spending habits (food, gas, occasional parking pass for concerts) to around $150.00 every two weeks.  It also doesn't help that I may be in transition of jobs in a couple of months so I need to save what I can earn for the time being.  Maybe, once things become more stabilized I can look more into investing and start a 401k and then look more into the future (which I always have in mind).

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3347 on: July 31, 2019, 04:15:12 PM »
Just got home from work, noticed an instagram alert, my x liked a video.  OK WTF, I stopped following her and I know she doesn't follow me.  When I got home I checked and there was no actual like.  So I know this happens because I tested wtih a friend, it means she liked it but then unliked once realizing she liked it thinking the alert wouldn't go out but it does anyway.  So she's browsing my IG.  It kind of makes me really really mad and I'm not sure that's justified to be so mad but it makes me start to think about things when it's now been almost 3 full months being broken up and I blocked her on social media so I don't see her and get upset but she's browing through my profile (I keep my IG open to the public since its mostly concert footage).   >:(

Anyway, I'm about to go to a concert and meet up with a girl actually.  We met last week at the 311 concert, well we met online and turns out we were both going so we met up (and I met her Mom who she was with, definitely a first for me to meet a girl and her mom at once) and we both were going to go to this one so we will meet up again.  I'm not terribly interested in this girl, our texting convos have been way too bland for my liking, I'll see how tonight goes I guess, but I'm already put into a mental frenzy by a like...

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3348 on: July 31, 2019, 04:35:21 PM »
Go get it dude, and have fun  :metal
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Offline Phoenix87x

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3349 on: July 31, 2019, 04:46:39 PM »
Just got home from work, noticed an instagram alert, my x liked a video.  OK WTF, I stopped following her and I know she doesn't follow me.  When I got home I checked and there was no actual like.  So I know this happens because I tested wtih a friend, it means she liked it but then unliked once realizing she liked it thinking the alert wouldn't go out but it does anyway.  So she's browsing my IG.  It kind of makes me really really mad and I'm not sure that's justified to be so mad but it makes me start to think about things when it's now been almost 3 full months being broken up and I blocked her on social media so I don't see her and get upset but she's browing through my profile (I keep my IG open to the public since its mostly concert footage).   >:(

Anyway, I'm about to go to a concert and meet up with a girl actually.  We met last week at the 311 concert, well we met online and turns out we were both going so we met up (and I met her Mom who she was with, definitely a first for me to meet a girl and her mom at once) and we both were going to go to this one so we will meet up again.  I'm not terribly interested in this girl, our texting convos have been way too bland for my liking, I'll see how tonight goes I guess, but I'm already put into a mental frenzy by a like...

That would have bothered me as well. I am so glad I deleted all social media before my last major break up. Out of sight, out of mind made the incredibly difficult process of moving on just a little bit easier. And If I saw my ex was liking my posts, that would screw with my head.

Best of luck with the current date. 

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3350 on: July 31, 2019, 05:05:11 PM »
Go get it dude, and have fun  :metal

This. Don't ever accept any relationship advice from me without a pinch of salt, but I believe that if you have ever broken up with someone, you two have had some serious issues and if you'll ever get back together they are sure to bubble up to surface sometime. Don't be giving your precious time away by thinking about her, keep going forward. And if you have someone who likes the same bands you do, that's already a good sign (although her mother hanging out with her is a bit weird... maybe she just was a big 311 fan in the nineties  :biggrin:).
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Offline TheCountOfNYC

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3351 on: August 01, 2019, 06:49:50 AM »
Hey guys. Just checking in. That girl I went on a date with? We’ve been dating for almost four months now and I couldn’t be happier. So I wanted to come back in here to remind everyone that even when things feel hopeless, better days are ahead.
“People figured out that the white thing that comes out of cows' titties could be drunk, and the relation between sweet desires and women's bellies growing up for 9 months. It can't be THAT hard to figure out how a trumpet works.”

-MirrorMask

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3352 on: August 01, 2019, 07:30:09 AM »
That's awesome Count.

As for the girl and her mother, I told her last night I have no interest.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3353 on: August 01, 2019, 08:29:19 AM »
As for the girl and her mother, I told her last night I have no interest.

Just out of curiosity... How did you go about it?

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3354 on: August 01, 2019, 08:40:48 AM »
As for the girl and her mother, I told her last night I have no interest.

Just out of curiosity... How did you go about it?

It was kind of weird.  We hung out a bit at the concert and she had seats not far from mine but there were empty seats so she came by my seat for a bit and she actually sat for the band while everyone else was standing.  I already felt like I had little interest with her based on our conversation for the last week and her sitting down just was like hitting the final nail in the coffin.  She asked me if I wanted to go to her seats, I really didn't want to, but I said OK I'll go say hi to your mom but turned out people had filled in so there were no empty seats anymore by her.  THANK YOU GOD  :lol I said I got to go to the bathroom and that I'll just be at my seat after.  So I had my escape and I enjoyed the rest of the show without her.  She messaged me as it was ending and I just responded back with "it was nice meeting you but I dont feel any connection.  I'll probably run into you again so I hope we can be friend" which she responded saying "thats fine, we can be friends" and then had an awesome 30 minute conversation with a random girl who looked just like Charlotte from Delain after the show.  Shit I cancelled my uber so we could keep chatting while she waited for her train.  Too bad she had a bf otherwise I would have asked for her number.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3355 on: August 01, 2019, 08:57:37 AM »
As for the girl and her mother, I told her last night I have no interest.

Just out of curiosity... How did you go about it?

It was kind of weird.  We hung out a bit at the concert and she had seats not far from mine but there were empty seats so she came by my seat for a bit and she actually sat for the band while everyone else was standing.  I already felt like I had little interest with her based on our conversation for the last week and her sitting down just was like hitting the final nail in the coffin.  She asked me if I wanted to go to her seats, I really didn't want to, but I said OK I'll go say hi to your mom but turned out people had filled in so there were no empty seats anymore by her.  THANK YOU GOD  :lol I said I got to go to the bathroom and that I'll just be at my seat after.  So I had my escape and I enjoyed the rest of the show without her.  She messaged me as it was ending and I just responded back with "it was nice meeting you but I dont feel any connection.  I'll probably run into you again so I hope we can be friend" which she responded saying "thats fine, we can be friends" and then had an awesome 30 minute conversation with a random girl who looked just like Charlotte from Delain after the show.  Shit I cancelled my uber so we could keep chatting while she waited for her train.  Too bad she had a bf otherwise I would have asked for her number.

Kind of a bummer about girl No.2

I've been seeing a girl for about a month now, and I don't think I'm feeling it. She's in a very similar situation to me. She bought a house with her BF, got engaged, he cheated on her, and now she's supporting a mortgage on her own. Like me, she's working two jobs to make it work.

She's a hard worker. She's really nice and sweet. There are no red flags that I've seen yet. She's really cute... but something just isn't clicking. She's down to hear me talk about stuff and is interested in learning new things, but I'm having trouble engaging in any kind of mentally stimulating conversation. We've seen each other 10 or 11 times now and no conversation has really gone beyond stories from our childhood, work stuff, or movies/music. She likes me a lot, and is always excited when she gets to come over or I get to go over there. We've made about a bunch and have been a bit intimate, but no sex yet. I'm admittedly getting a bit frustrated there. That may or may not make me an asshole. I'm not sure.   


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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3356 on: August 01, 2019, 09:20:13 AM »
I don't mind holding out on the sex if everything else is right, but it sounds like that's not the case.  The conversation part is important to me, and if it's not happening from the beginning when two people have the most to talk to about then it's just not going to happen later.  If you aren't feeling it then it's probably best to end it sooner than later. 

Kind of weird thing also happened last night, as I was walking around the venue (actually trying to find the girl) I was scanning the crowd near me and made eye contact with a girl that I dated a few years ago  :lol so I went over and said hello and some small talk because I didn't want to run away and be all awkward, I'd like to be able to have friendly conversations with people from the past.  I felt like that was such a trip though, this whole summer of being alone, trying to meet new girls, seeing old girls... I don't know, it's messing with me a bit.  I just got to keep working on myself, I'm going to need some new clothes real soon as my pants and shirts are getting too big.  I should probably just keep focussing on that and not trying to meet people, but what can I say, I'm lonely.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3357 on: August 01, 2019, 09:31:07 AM »
It's starting to mess with me big time. I've gone out on dates with 9 girls in the last 2 months, and have held multiple day conversations with dozens. None of them do anything for me. Like nothing at all. For the first time in my life, I'm the one ghosting people. I don't know if I'm being too picky or what, but it's really freaking discouraging. And I swear, if one more girl tells me she suffers from anxiety attacks, I'm going to lose my fucking mind. Is that the cool thing to have now or something? It's unbelievable how many have mentioned anxiety problems. One girl the other night let me finger blast her for about 15 minutes, but as soon as I moved her hand onto my crotch (cock still in pants mind you) she made me stop, got up, and said she should get going. When I tried talking to her about it the next day, she said she started having an anxiety attack. What the fuck? My right arm was practically numb from the most intense workout it's gotten in months. What direction did she think I thought it was going? 

Also, as much as it kills me to admit, I'm having a really hard time not comparing every girl (not in a sexual way) to Victoria. I've never met someone that could carry a conversation in my language like she did, and I'm starting to think it's a damn near impossible mission. 

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3358 on: August 01, 2019, 09:39:27 AM »
 :rollin on the finger blast anxiety

but damn dude I feel the exact same way about the comparisons and feeling a bit hopeless.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #3359 on: August 01, 2019, 09:52:34 AM »
It didn't help me at all yesterday when she sent me a particular text.

We still trade off the dog. I have him most of the time, but every now and then she'll ask me if she could have him for a few days and I always let her take him. She calls me at 4:30 in the morning yesterday saying that the dog was acting really weird and she was worried, etc... I told her to watch him, drop him off at my house, and I'd leave work early to make sure he was alright (he was fine). 

Later on in the evening she asked me how he was doing, and I said he seemed fine, was eating, and playing with my mother's dogs as if everything was fine. I get the following text in response:

Quote
Okay. Great. I have been on all edge all day. So worried about him. Thank you for the updates and for being there today. And I know it doesn't matter, but I am truly sorry for how everything has been over the last two years. If I could go back in time and change things, I would.
   

 :censored