Author Topic: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip  (Read 127635 times)

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Offline kingshmegland

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2870 on: November 25, 2016, 01:09:04 PM »
Yup.  I'm so sorry.  At some point in your life you'll look back and understand that you are better off not being with a person not dedicated to you like you were to her.

Secondly,  you will be better for going through it.  It's hard to see it now but we are here for you.
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Offline Skeever

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2871 on: November 25, 2016, 03:39:05 PM »
A month ago, my girlfriend of almost 8 years ended things with me. Three weeks after that she was already with someone else. I'm going through a rough time right now because I truly thought we would be together for the rest of our lives. She is the love of my life and I'm still trying to learn how to go through life without her. I have never felt heartbreak like this.

We're here for you, dude.

Offline KevShmev

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2872 on: November 25, 2016, 04:14:18 PM »
A month ago, my girlfriend of almost 8 years ended things with me. Three weeks after that she was already with someone else. I'm going through a rough time right now because I truly thought we would be together for the rest of our lives. She is the love of my life and I'm still trying to learn how to go through life without her. I have never felt heartbreak like this.

Damn. :( :( :(

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2873 on: November 25, 2016, 04:15:34 PM »
Breakups are tough enough as it is. They're made tougher when one of the people in the prior relationship moves on really quickly while the other.. doesn't. I know it's fresh and it still stings but just take as much time as you need to get acclimated to being on your own and to also process the emotions related to the aftermath of the relationship. Eight years is a LONG time - that's how long my last relationship was. It's taken me about 2 years to really feel normal again (admittedly, I was still carrying bad baggage from childhood and wanted to get rid of that before getting in to another relationship - felt that the other person, whoever he is, didn't deserve that from me).

As Skeever posted - we are here for you. :heart

Offline TheCountOfNYC

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2874 on: November 25, 2016, 06:18:42 PM »
Thank you to all of you. It really means a lot.
“People figured out that the white thing that comes out of cows' titties could be drunk, and the relation between sweet desires and women's bellies growing up for 9 months. It can't be THAT hard to figure out how a trumpet works.”

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Offline NunoTenniscourt

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2875 on: November 25, 2016, 06:56:22 PM »
A month ago, my girlfriend of almost 8 years ended things with me. Three weeks after that she was already with someone else. I'm going through a rough time right now because I truly thought we would be together for the rest of our lives. She is the love of my life and I'm still trying to learn how to go through life without her. I have never felt heartbreak like this.

She could have very well had him picked out before she even ended the relationship. It's typical in these scenarios. Sorry to hear it, though. The road to healing will probably be long and full of frustrating moments of feeling like you're over it one day, then realizing you're not the next, but you'll get there.

I've had some great relationships in my time, but one thing I've learned is, no matter how long you've been together and how strong you think the bond is between the two of you, no one is impervious to losing it all in a single instant.


 

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2876 on: November 27, 2016, 02:34:55 AM »
Bummer, very sorry to hear that. Definitely a bigger sting when somebody appears to have moved on so quickly, but there might be more beneath the surface.
Oh Jackie, always jumping to the most homoerotic possibility.

Offline Prog Snob

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2877 on: November 27, 2016, 04:21:37 AM »
A month ago, my girlfriend of almost 8 years ended things with me. Three weeks after that she was already with someone else. I'm going through a rough time right now because I truly thought we would be together for the rest of our lives. She is the love of my life and I'm still trying to learn how to go through life without her. I have never felt heartbreak like this.

Sorry to hear that, bro. There's obviously a whole slew of emotions going on there. If you need to talk, shoot me a message.

Offline sylvan

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2878 on: November 27, 2016, 03:49:24 PM »
A month ago, my girlfriend of almost 8 years ended things with me. Three weeks after that she was already with someone else. I'm going through a rough time right now because I truly thought we would be together for the rest of our lives. She is the love of my life and I'm still trying to learn how to go through life without her. I have never felt heartbreak like this.

Cold blooded! So, I've never been in a relationship long enough to have a real breakup. But, I've been emotionally effected to a great degree by other FAR LESS involved "relationships". What in the world is it like to end a relationship that's been such a huge part of your life? The Count might not be in a good place to answer that. I know some of the rest of you are divorced, or have at least been in long relationships. Was it really all that sudden? Regardless of what side you're on, weren't there warning signs? Even if only in hindsight.

Offline sylvan

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2879 on: November 27, 2016, 03:56:05 PM »
I'm not so much lonely hearted. More like my soul is lonely, and in turn my head is going down bad paths that people follow when they're lonely. Suddenly bad ideas sound like good ideas. And it's giving me the false impressions of having a lonely heart. I'm glad I'm self aware enough to acknowledge these things, and use them to help myself grow. It's also good to get some perspective around here. As much as something might be bothering me emotionally, it could be worse. Not that I take solace in other people's pain, but there's lessons to be learned all over the place.

Offline NunoTenniscourt

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2880 on: November 27, 2016, 04:46:41 PM »
Cold blooded! So, I've never been in a relationship long enough to have a real breakup. But, I've been emotionally effected to a great degree by other FAR LESS involved "relationships". What in the world is it like to end a relationship that's been such a huge part of your life? The Count might not be in a good place to answer that. I know some of the rest of you are divorced, or have at least been in long relationships. Was it really all that sudden? Regardless of what side you're on, weren't there warning signs? Even if only in hindsight.

I've had them end in a variety of ways. I had a 6 year relationship end with her not only leaving the state without warning, but also leaving no way to contact her. Poof!! It was like she vanished off the planet. Two years later, she contacted me via email. She apologized profusely and explained that her sudden disappearance was over the fact I wasn't interested in marriage. She also went on to say marriage wasn't important to her anymore and asked if I was interested in rekindling things between us. I never responded.

Then I've had others end where I knew things were gradually fading, and we both eventually realized it was time to move on. The partings were fairly amicable. As I said earlier, though, the one thing I've learned through all my relationships is - no matter what the circumstances, it can all end at any moment.

Offline Prog Snob

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2881 on: November 27, 2016, 05:00:46 PM »
I'm not so much lonely hearted. More like my soul is lonely, and in turn my head is going down bad paths that people follow when they're lonely. Suddenly bad ideas sound like good ideas. And it's giving me the false impressions of having a lonely heart. I'm glad I'm self aware enough to acknowledge these things, and use them to help myself grow. It's also good to get some perspective around here. As much as something might be bothering me emotionally, it could be worse. Not that I take solace in other people's pain, but there's lessons to be learned all over the place.

Yeah, I'm the king of bad ideas and using poor judgment and excuses. I don't think there's anything wrong with some self indulgence as long as you're not hurting anyone.

Offline bout to crash

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2882 on: November 27, 2016, 11:25:42 PM »

I've had them end in a variety of ways. I had a 6 year relationship end with her not only leaving the state without warning, but also leaving no way to contact her. Poof!! It was like she vanished off the planet. Two years later, she contacted me via email. She apologized profusely and explained that her sudden disappearance was over the fact I wasn't interested in marriage. She also went on to say marriage wasn't important to her anymore and asked if I was interested in rekindling things between us. I never responded.

What in the actual fuck?! Wow. How did you not lose it on her? I guess after two years you weren't freaking out over it, but still!
Oh Jackie, always jumping to the most homoerotic possibility.

Offline NunoTenniscourt

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2883 on: November 28, 2016, 07:50:23 AM »

I've had them end in a variety of ways. I had a 6 year relationship end with her not only leaving the state without warning, but also leaving no way to contact her. Poof!! It was like she vanished off the planet. Two years later, she contacted me via email. She apologized profusely and explained that her sudden disappearance was over the fact I wasn't interested in marriage. She also went on to say marriage wasn't important to her anymore and asked if I was interested in rekindling things between us. I never responded.

What in the actual fuck?! Wow. How did you not lose it on her? I guess after two years you weren't freaking out over it, but still!

The funny thing is, I had envisioned myself blasting her if I ever had the opportunity to communicate with or see her again, but when it actually happened, I had already moved on to better things. So, silently rejecting her idea of getting back together was satisfying enough.

The whole situation really sucked, though, because my entire family worshiped the ground she walked on. It was also very disappointing that her family (who lived a few hours away) wouldn't return my calls or messages to let me know what happened, either. It was all very unexpected because we had only spoke of marriage once, and she didn't express any disapproval of my opinion on it.
« Last Edit: November 28, 2016, 09:23:42 AM by NunoTenniscourt »

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2884 on: November 28, 2016, 12:28:07 PM »
Ugh. What a cowardly and hurtful way to handle that situation. I wonder if there was more to it than she let on.
Oh Jackie, always jumping to the most homoerotic possibility.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2885 on: November 28, 2016, 12:52:38 PM »
A month ago, my girlfriend of almost 8 years ended things with me. Three weeks after that she was already with someone else. I'm going through a rough time right now because I truly thought we would be together for the rest of our lives. She is the love of my life and I'm still trying to learn how to go through life without her. I have never felt heartbreak like this.

Wow thats terrible.  Not just the break up which is difficult, but the fast turn around from her which I'd imagine leaves you wondering WTF.  Obviously as stated, DTF lonely hearts are here for you man.

I've had them end in a variety of ways. I had a 6 year relationship end with her not only leaving the state without warning, but also leaving no way to contact her. Poof!! It was like she vanished off the planet. Two years later, she contacted me via email. She apologized profusely and explained that her sudden disappearance was over the fact I wasn't interested in marriage. She also went on to say marriage wasn't important to her anymore and asked if I was interested in rekindling things between us. I never responded.

And we bitch about being ghosted after a first date.  That takes things to a whole different level and is so messed up. 

Offline NunoTenniscourt

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2886 on: November 28, 2016, 01:51:00 PM »
Ugh. What a cowardly and hurtful way to handle that situation. I wonder if there was more to it than she let on.

I'm not sure. We never had a single fight when we were together, and were both seemingly happy. Funny enough, the woman I ended up with after her was wanting retribution more than I did. She wanted to send steamy pictures of us together to the ex. I declined, though. It just seemed childish, even for someone as immature as I am.  :lol

"And we bitch about being ghosted after a first date.  That takes things to a whole different level and is so messed up. "

I don't think I've ever experienced it after a first date, but if I ever do, I'll scrape the gum off my shoe and keep walking, so to speak.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2887 on: December 02, 2016, 08:35:40 AM »
Ugh guys, I had a shitty experience with a dude from the movie theater I frequent. Long story ahead:

It started out really promising- he gave me his number and we were texting a LOT. Things got sexy and whatnot via text (including, btw, him telling me things like he was jerking off thinking about me) and I was all like "When we hanging out??" That's when shit got weird. He kept avoiding making plans with me, and ended up cancelling a couple times when we did. He is going through a divorce and I get that can be weird, BUT also turns out he's dating someone "casually" and isn't sure if she is expecting monogamy or not. Most of you know I'm not a monogamous person so him dating other people wasn't an issue but obviously the absence of any kind of conversation about expectations in their relationship was a problem. I suggested he talk to her about it or stop wasting my time, but of couse he wasn't willing to do that. He thought he could just kind of keep me around as backup and spank bank material (he actually had the nerve one day, after flaking on me when I invited him out, to look at my pic on instagram and say "You looked so hot last night"- eww).

We made plans one more time for Tuesday after I had aired my grievances about the situation, including him being flaky... well, of course he cancelled at the last minute, citing having too much "respect" for me and because he would feel bad if something happened between us. I told him bye. He said "come onnnn" and the next day "Dude, you unfriended me?" I told him I had good reason to do so. He said he was hoping he could be friends, lol... I told him I didn't want to, and he acted confused.

Sooo I finally decided to go off on him yesterday, and this was the conversation:
 
"Okay, I do not think you are as dumb as you are playing right now, but I will spell it out for you: You gave me your number and then proceeded to spend over a week texting me constantly, flirting, asking me about things like kinks and favorite sexual positions, asking for photos, telling me you wanted to bend me over a counter and jerked off to me multiple times, and so on... all while in a presumed-to-be monogamous relationship that you failed to mention at the start. When I tried to hang out with you in that same period of verbal green lights, you avoided committing to anything, stopped texting me mid-conversation, and cancelled plans several times. When I put my feelings out there about all this and questioned the purpose of continuing to talk, you swore you weren't trying to jerk me around and didn't want to friend-zone me. After saying that, you cancelled on me again at the last minute and told me... you want to be friends.
What the fuck basis for a friendship do we have?
My head has been messed with and my time wasted. If you honestly cannot see that, you are either a sociopath or have the emotional IQ of a child with no insight into your own actions and how they affect other people. The only reason I didn't tell you to fuck off was because I knew I would have to interact with you in the future and I'm trying to be mature about this. You had the nerve to use the word "respect" with me when you have shown pretty much zero respect for my time, my feelings, or my fucking existence. I'm done expending those things and done with this conversation."

"Well, I humbly apologize. I recall you saying that monogamy wasn't your thing. And I do like you, despite what you think. I'm just not good at any of this. Im for real sorry"

"No, it isn't, but my preferences on monogamy have nothing to do with the level of respect and consideration I deserve as a fellow human being. Point missed. Again, I no longer want to have this conversation. Peace."

"Can we start over?"

 :rollin :rollin

Holy shit. I can't believe he asked that. Needless to say I did not reply, but wow. Yep, emotional IQ of a child. I am so fucking done with this bullshit.
Oh Jackie, always jumping to the most homoerotic possibility.

Offline Adami

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2888 on: December 02, 2016, 08:38:00 AM »
What a story!
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2889 on: December 02, 2016, 08:53:04 AM »
"Okay, I do not think you are as dumb as you are playing right now, but I will spell it out for you: You gave me your number and then proceeded to spend over a week texting me constantly, flirting, asking me about things like kinks and favorite sexual positions, asking for photos, telling me you wanted to bend me over a counter and jerked off to me multiple times, and so on... all while in a presumed-to-be monogamous relationship that you failed to mention at the start. When I tried to hang out with you in that same period of verbal green lights, you avoided committing to anything, stopped texting me mid-conversation, and cancelled plans several times. When I put my feelings out there about all this and questioned the purpose of continuing to talk, you swore you weren't trying to jerk me around and didn't want to friend-zone me. After saying that, you cancelled on me again at the last minute and told me... you want to be friends.
What the fuck basis for a friendship do we have?
My head has been messed with and my time wasted. If you honestly cannot see that, you are either a sociopath or have the emotional IQ of a child with no insight into your own actions and how they affect other people. The only reason I didn't tell you to fuck off was because I knew I would have to interact with you in the future and I'm trying to be mature about this. You had the nerve to use the word "respect" with me when you have shown pretty much zero respect for my time, my feelings, or my fucking existence. I'm done expending those things and done with this conversation."

 :metal :metal :metal :metal :metal :metal

Fuck yea!

I'm glad you told him straight out what was up and were able to walk away from that

Offline Stadler

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2890 on: December 02, 2016, 09:39:06 AM »
Might seem odd to some of you, but what would have REALLY sent me through the roof (if the other stuff didn't) was the "I'm not good at this".

WTF?  You're not good at RESPECTING ANOTHER HUMAN BEING?   You're not good at BEING CONSIDERATE?    These are not "dating skills", these are "human being skills", that presumably we learn as we're going to through middle- and high-school.   

Fuck this guy.  I've never met him, but I'm leaning toward 'sociopath' or just plain 'arrogant douche'.   "Hey, I'm smooth, I can talk my way out of the doghouse!"  Fuck you man, you give decent guys a bad name. 

Offline NunoTenniscourt

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2891 on: December 02, 2016, 01:08:39 PM »
Yep, emotional IQ of a child.

He probably thinks of it as "being young at heart", which of course, it isn't. As for "I'm not good at this", it may as well mean "I don't give a shit".

I don't know what it will take for many people to understand things go SO much smoother with just being honest, no matter what your intent is.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2892 on: December 02, 2016, 01:19:03 PM »
I don't know what it will take for many people to understand things go SO much smoother with just being honest, no matter what your intent is.

I think I said it before in this thread, but since so many people are dishonest, when you are honest even in something negative, it comes across so much better and earns some respect. 

It's so hard for me to sometimes tell a new potential date, "by the way, I really enjoy smoking marijuana" when you know that person may not really like that.  When you are honest you're more likely to get the response "Oh, I appreciate you being upfront about that, even though I don't like it, if it's not a negative on your life then it shouldn't impact us" vs. "Oh I found out you like marijuana, why didn't you tell me before?  I don't like that" 

Offline TheCountOfNYC

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2893 on: December 02, 2016, 03:39:32 PM »
That's some bullshit. It drives me up a wall when guys are like that. Some men still are in the mindset that they are the superior gender and expect women to bow to their every whim. It's disgusting. It sucks that you had to go through that but you showed him that you're above that and that makes me happy. I absolutely loved what you said to him and I feel that if more guys were given a rude awakening that they ain't hot shit, maybe things would start to change. Good on you for standing your ground and telling that absolute tool to go fuck himself.
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2894 on: December 02, 2016, 04:21:31 PM »
That's some bullshit. It drives me up a wall when guys are like that. Some men still are in the mindset that they are the superior gender and expect women to bow to their every whim. It's disgusting. It sucks that you had to go through that but you showed him that you're above that and that makes me happy. I absolutely loved what you said to him and I feel that if more guys were given a rude awakening that they ain't hot shit, maybe things would start to change. Good on you for standing your ground and telling that absolute tool to go fuck himself.

While men are very guilty of this, especially on the sexual front.  Women do this as well, keep a guy hanging.  I don't think it's a gender thing personally.  Just people treating people poorly.

I've also heard the "I'm not good at this" excuse before when treated poorly.

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2895 on: December 03, 2016, 12:02:30 AM »
Might seem odd to some of you, but what would have REALLY sent me through the roof (if the other stuff didn't) was the "I'm not good at this".

WTF?  You're not good at RESPECTING ANOTHER HUMAN BEING?   You're not good at BEING CONSIDERATE?    These are not "dating skills", these are "human being skills", that presumably we learn as we're going to through middle- and high-school.   

Fuck this guy.  I've never met him, but I'm leaning toward 'sociopath' or just plain 'arrogant douche'.   "Hey, I'm smooth, I can talk my way out of the doghouse!"  Fuck you man, you give decent guys a bad name. 

Yep, pretty much. That line pissed me off as well but wasn't the primary one that set me off.
But yeah, you hit the nail on the head- mofucker is 36 years old and he doesn't know how to be respectful?? Fuck that noise.

And thanks for the support, everyone. I should have told him off sooner but I let my vagina think for me and get in the way. Such is life.

Oh Jackie, always jumping to the most homoerotic possibility.

Offline Adami

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2896 on: December 03, 2016, 12:09:46 AM »
Might seem odd to some of you, but what would have REALLY sent me through the roof (if the other stuff didn't) was the "I'm not good at this".

WTF?  You're not good at RESPECTING ANOTHER HUMAN BEING?   You're not good at BEING CONSIDERATE?    These are not "dating skills", these are "human being skills", that presumably we learn as we're going to through middle- and high-school.   

Fuck this guy.  I've never met him, but I'm leaning toward 'sociopath' or just plain 'arrogant douche'.   "Hey, I'm smooth, I can talk my way out of the doghouse!"  Fuck you man, you give decent guys a bad name. 

Yep, pretty much. That line pissed me off as well but wasn't the primary one that set me off.
But yeah, you hit the nail on the head- mofucker is 36 years old and he doesn't know how to be respectful?? Fuck that noise.

And thanks for the support, everyone. I should have told him off sooner but I let my vagina think for me and get in the way. Such is life.

Wow, dude sounds like a real failure.
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2897 on: December 06, 2016, 12:00:02 PM »
Bad news guys. A couple of days ago my potential side chick stopped talking to me. She was very mean about it too, probably on her period with blood coming out of her wherever. What do?
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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2898 on: December 06, 2016, 12:19:04 PM »
Bad news guys. A couple of days ago my potential side chick stopped talking to me. She was very mean about it too, probably on her period with blood coming out of her wherever. What do?

Side chick as in a girl you are seeing on the side?  I guess hope she doesn't tell main chick.  There are ways to keep people quiet.

But on a serious note, if you meant a girl you were dating, then that sucks, but the only thing to do is move on really.

Offline Adami

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2899 on: December 06, 2016, 12:24:21 PM »
Bad news guys. A couple of days ago my potential side chick stopped talking to me. She was very mean about it too, probably on her period with blood coming out of her wherever. What do?

Just remind her that you're not very good at this.
fanticide.bandcamp.com

Offline cramx3

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2900 on: December 06, 2016, 12:25:23 PM »
Bad news guys. A couple of days ago my potential side chick stopped talking to me. She was very mean about it too, probably on her period with blood coming out of her wherever. What do?

Just remind her that you're not very good at this.

 :rollin

Offline Prog Snob

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2901 on: December 06, 2016, 08:26:50 PM »
Bad news guys. A couple of days ago my potential side chick stopped talking to me. She was very mean about it too, probably on her period with blood coming out of her wherever. What do?

Did you get to eat the jelly donut?

Offline bout to crash

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2902 on: December 06, 2016, 11:40:40 PM »
:lolpalm: nick
Oh Jackie, always jumping to the most homoerotic possibility.

Offline Stadler

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2903 on: December 07, 2016, 02:01:11 PM »
I should have told him off sooner but I let my vagina think for me and get in the way. Such is life.

HAHAHA, with all the times I let my cock make really bad decisions for me, I find this sentence to be incredibly satisfying, in a "for all our differences, we're really all pretty similar at heart" kind of way. 

Offline Prog Snob

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Re: Lonely Hearts Club Thread v. The Strong Grip
« Reply #2904 on: December 07, 2016, 02:24:33 PM »
Let's see. I seem to have assembled a new list of potentials.

Snow
Milena
Maly
Diana
Alyssa