It's a battle of wills....

[Shadow Ninja 2.0]

Ah. I was interested, since I like peanut butter but dislike peanuts.

[black_biff_stadler]

I'm with Shado Ninja on the peanut butter/peanut thing. And jammindude, go eat a century egg.

[TempusVox]

My kid has always liked most veggies. So we were lucky. If there was something he didnt like though I wouldnt force him to eat it. If he was however just holding out on something he'd never tried so he could just fill up on chicken nuggets or something, then he had to at least try it. If he didnt like he, he didnt have to eat it. I found with this approach he was much more willing to try various vegetables, and many he liked.

This more than anything established trust and taught him not to be afraid to try new foods; thereby eliminating the whole battle of wills thing. His cousin who is the same age grew up with the whole "eat it or sit there until you die" thing. He now subsists primarily on chicken strips and Oreos. How he doesn't have scurvy or rickets I'll never understand. But I've always stuck by the premise if my son tried it, and didnt like it, he didnt have to eat it. Sometimes, we'd require a certain number of bites, or a maybe an entire portion, but if he didn't like it, he didn't have to eat it. He's nearly 17 now, as and I'm proud of how much he's willing to try new things. There have even been instances where he didnt like something when he was little, but has gone back and tried them again years later and now loves them. Brussels sprouts and avocado are two examples. Now you might think your kid will always say they only like french fries, or nuggets; but once they realize theres no pressure, and you support their decision or taste, youll find its much easier, and there will be a ton of healthful foods they like.

My mom was "sit there until the stars go out in the sky". She once went to bed, and turned off all the lights in the house and left me sitting in the kitchen in the dark with my stuffed peppers. 

We had a beagle hound named Hambone. (Best name ever for a hound dog btw). Id wait my parents out until the left the dining room and feed the dog small bites under the table. When I was about 11 my mom made some kind of goulash, or chili con carne, or something. Man it was God awful. I was left alone and ordered to sit there until I finished it. So when my parents were in the other room I crept in where we kept his food bowl and dumped the mess in Hambones dish. He took one sniff and left the room. 
I got busted big time. I said, "Mom, look even the dog wont eat it!"
That was the last time I was forced to eat something I didn't like. 

[TioJorge]

I keep reading this as "It's a battle of willis" and expect to see Bruce Willis there getting the shit beaten out of him by your child.





Yes.




These are the things I expect out of life.



Hm....wine.....

[jammindude]

Choosing to eat something is entirely different from choosing to like something.

You misunderstand. I believe I *could* learn to like even something as disgusting as a century egg....it would probably TAKE A CENTURY TO LEARN (and again...I won't...because, why would I?) but I do believe that given enough time, practice and motivation, anyone can learn to like anything.

It all about choice and possibilities...which I believe have no limits beyond the ones we put on ourselves. Like the limit I do put on myself by choosing not to learn to like a century egg. 

[TioJorge]

The human brain is so infinitely spectacular. If you believe you're sick, it'll make you sick. If you want to like something enough, eventually...you will.

Tomatoes used to make me gag upon smelling them. Quite literally, I was forced to eat one as a kid. A whole one. Picked straight from the garden. It was nearly shoved down my throat until I said I would willingly eat all of it, and I did. Up until a few years ago, the sight of it alone would disgust me, and if I smelled it, it would trigger my gag reflex IMMEDIATELY.

I now love tomatoes after having them blended into other foods and very, very slowly eating them alone and in small portions. The peanut butter haters could eat it if they wanted, but since they can't, you won't ever get to that point. If you try, eventually you could eat it, and taking your time, down the line you'd later on begin to like it. The fact that you tell yourself you won't ever though, makes it pretty hard to. It's all about perception and what you tell yourself you can or can't do. I really believe that. Humans are so insanely adaptable... But first you have to open yourself up to it. Taste buds are at the forefront of that thought.

There's only one thing that I still don't like to eat and that's certain olives... I've tried and they still taste absolutely disgusting to me. But sooner or later I'll like them. I MUST. I AM THE TASTE BUD MASTER!

[TempusVox]

This discussion about "liking" food reminded me of this. NSFW

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=B0x_dFMnZVI&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DB0x_dFMnZVI

[wolfking]

This discussion about "liking" food reminded me of this. NSFW

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=B0x_dFMnZVI&desktop_uri=%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DB0x_dFMnZVI

That movie is still the greatest stand up comedy routine of all time, perfection.

[Podaar]

As I type this he's chanting 'I'm not going to eat it...I'm not going to eat it..' I've gotta dig deep.

 

Good on ya Gary!

Not that I think you do, but don't listen to the naysayers about your parenting method. All kids are different as all parents and you're in the best position to know what your child needs. You know what the most likely outcome is for this kind of discipline is? Your boy will always have fond memories of you making dinner for him, eating dinner with him and caring enough to spend time him to be sure he eats well.

Twenty or so years later he will be sitting at his favorite restaurant and the server will place a plate in front of him that contains string beans. He'll stab one with his fork and look across the table at his husband and say, "I remember when my Dad spent a couple of hours waiting for me to finish eating these and now I love them. My Dad's the greatest!"

[Tick]

This is great! Oh the battles I have had with my strong willed daughter! 

[Sir GuitarCozmo]

Plus, when it becomes a matter of a CHILD telling a PARENT what they are going to do....when it's in direct defiance of what the parent has instructed them they will do....you have to make a stand as a parent and make it a point that they understand that they don't call the shots. Especially young children.

Right.  And there's greater value in establishing their place on the totem pole for them.  If you cannot keep order in your own house and make your child understand that they are to respect you as their parent and do as they are asked, then you're going to have an even greater difficulty in getting them to do the same for their teachers, their college professors, their bosses, or anybody else that they'll eventually have to answer to at some point in their lives.  If they understand early on that there's a pecking order and that there aren't a ton of times where they're going to be at the top of it, it will set them up for a better chance of working within social structures going forward (with notable exceptions, i.e. you are not at the bottom of the totem pole under the bully at school, etc.).

[hefdaddy42]

^This man knows what's up^

[Lucien]

My kid has always liked most veggies. So we were lucky. If there was something he didnt like though I wouldnt force him to eat it. If he was however just holding out on something he'd never tried so he could just fill up on chicken nuggets or something, then he had to at least try it. If he didnt like he, he didnt have to eat it. I found with this approach he was much more willing to try various vegetables, and many he liked.

This more than anything established trust and taught him not to be afraid to try new foods; thereby eliminating the whole battle of wills thing. His cousin who is the same age grew up with the whole "eat it or sit there until you die" thing. He now subsists primarily on chicken strips and Oreos. How he doesn't have scurvy or rickets I'll never understand. But I've always stuck by the premise if my son tried it, and didnt like it, he didnt have to eat it. Sometimes, we'd require a certain number of bites, or a maybe an entire portion, but if he didn't like it, he didn't have to eat it. He's nearly 17 now, as and I'm proud of how much he's willing to try new things. There have even been instances where he didnt like something when he was little, but has gone back and tried them again years later and now loves them. Brussels sprouts and avocado are two examples. Now you might think your kid will always say they only like french fries, or nuggets; but once they realize theres no pressure, and you support their decision or taste, youll find its much easier, and there will be a ton of healthful foods they like.

My mom was "sit there until the stars go out in the sky". She once went to bed, and turned off all the lights in the house and left me sitting in the kitchen in the dark with my stuffed peppers. 

We had a beagle hound named Hambone. (Best name ever for a hound dog btw). Id wait my parents out until the left the dining room and feed the dog small bites under the table. When I was about 11 my mom made some kind of goulash, or chili con carne, or something. Man it was God awful. I was left alone and ordered to sit there until I finished it. So when my parents were in the other room I crept in where we kept his food bowl and dumped the mess in Hambones dish. He took one sniff and left the room. 
I got busted big time. I said, "Mom, look even the dog wont eat it!"
That was the last time I was forced to eat something I didn't like. 

The whole "try it and if you don't like it, you don't have to eat it" is how I was basically raised. My God, the foods I learned to love. It worked so well, in fact, because I started liking so many things, at buffets I was just putting everything on my plate (ESPECIALLY at Japanese/Chinese buffets. Asian food is basically my favorite food now  ) to see if I liked it. Hmmm... I wonder what octopus tastes like. Just a chewier seafood, that's all!

[TempusVox]

^ It really does work. Why force your kid to eat something he physically dislikes. When you encourage kids to try new things with no pressure, theyre much more open to being receptive to doing it. I'll go one step further with a bonus to that approach. My son is influenced very little by peer pressure. I think in part thats a by-product of not wearing him down with the food thing. Hes not stupid, so he doesnt often do stupid things, but he has free-will to make his own choices. So I trust he'll usually make good ones, and when hes not sure he knows he can ask me or talk to me about it without fear that im going to force his decision one way or another. This doesnt always apply. He's still only 17, so he doesnt get to make all his choices for himself yet. Primarily because hes still too inexperienced and young. But I think the food thing and the way we communicate has played a part.

[King Postwhore]

Alright time to break out a childhood story.

You will all be shocked.  I don't like steak.  Never had and when I was 7 years old my parents would feed me Filet Mignon.  I'd take the chewed up pieces from my mouth, drop it on the floor and when we were finished dinner I'd take those pieces and put them in the heating base boards.  2 years later my parents bought a house and my mother went to clean out the baseboard and found dried steak for a whole year in there.


So I never had to eat steak again.  Joe 1, parents 0!

[jammindude]

^ It really does work. Why force your kid to eat something he physically dislikes. When you encourage kids to try new things with no pressure, theyre much more open to being receptive to doing it. I'll go one step further with a bonus to that approach. My son is influenced very little by peer pressure. I think in part thats a by-product of not wearing him down with the food thing. Hes not stupid, so he doesnt often do stupid things, but he has free-will to make his own choices. So I trust he'll usually make good ones, and when hes not sure he knows he can ask me or talk to me about it without fear that im going to force his decision one way or another. This doesnt always apply. He's still only 17, so he doesnt get to make all his choices for himself yet. Primarily because hes still too inexperienced and young. But I think the food thing and the way we communicate has played a part.

You can't blanketly state that.   My mom used this approach....and as a result, I ate nothing but peanut butter sandwiches, nachos and mac n cheese throughout most of my growing years.   

I think I was almost 30 before it dawned on me that I was missing out on a bunch of stuff.   

[black_biff_stadler]

I don't like steak.

You will rot in hell.

[King Postwhore]

I don't like steak.

You will rot in hell.

 

[antigoon]

If I didn't finish my food my parents used to make me leave it at the table and come back to it later before having a snack.







So naturally I would just toss the nasty cold food in the trash when they left the room and cover it up with some paper towels

[Zook]

If I didn't eat my dinner I'd be sent to bed. My parents knew I hated onions and Lima beans so naturally we'd always have onions and Lima beans in our food.

[jammindude]

Seriously... I honestly believe that anyone is capable of learning to like ANYTHING.    Hell...some people eat monkey brains.   Am I capable of learning to like monkey brains?   Yes...I am.   Do I want to?    Not in a million freakin years.     Learning to like something that disgusting is just not that important to me.    But I am capable.

There is no way I could ever or will ever like peanut butter.  It is freaking disgusting.

Out of curiosity Kev, where in the world do you live?   I ask because I've heard that PB is a pretty "American" thing.  We give it as a treat to our kids before they even know what it is...so it becomes a classic favorite even into adulthood.

Years ago, I was shocked to discover that Europeans (especially Germany from my personal experience) have no concept of PB.  It just doesn't exist in that culture.  My sister tried to bring her German friend some peanut butter, because they had never even heard of it....and they didn't much care for it. 

Either way, I do want to point out that there is a BIG difference between mass produced peanut butter, and *natural* peanut butter.    And as sad as I am to admit it, it's the mass produced stuff that is far, FAR better and more universally adored than the natural stuff.    And the mass produced stuff sells because most people think the "natural" peanut butter tastes like disgusting, oily paste.     Mass produced peanut butter is a *completely* different animal.     I would suggest anyone who based their dislike of peanut butter on the "natural" type give it another try with something like Jif or Skippy brand.   

[sneakyblueberry]

G, I don't get it, if you don't like Broccoli and Brussel Sprouts, then dont buy them to cook and eat

Jif 

This always cracked me up.  In NZ Jif is a cleaning product, a creamy soapy substance used to clean scum off baths.  So whenever someone mentions Jif as peanut butter I think of putting creamy, scummy, pube-infused detergent on toast. 

[black_biff_stadler]

That actually sounds right delicious.

[KevShmev]

St. Louis, MO, which is smack dab in the middle of the country.  I was the only member of my immediate family to not love peanut butter (my parents and both brothers love it).  Interestingly, my 7-year old niece hates it as much as I do, while my 8-year old nephew loves it. 

[Lucien]

If I didn't eat my dinner I'd be sent to bed. My parents knew I hated onions and Lima beans so naturally we'd always have onions and Lima beans in our food.

That's literally illogical.

[Prog Snob]

I immediately thought you meant this...

[Shadow Ninja 2.0]

Guy on the right seriously looks like Mike Patton.

[sneakyblueberry]

tbh, I never had this problem growing up.  Mainly because we were pretty poor and if you didn't eat your dinner you'd literally just starve it wasn't an empty threat. 

[Prog Snob]

Guy on the right seriously looks like Mike Patton.

He cares a lot

[King Postwhore]

Guy on the right seriously looks like Mike Patton.

He cares a lot

Except Mike did not sing that song on the first album.


*drops mike*


Not Patton.

[Shadow Ninja 2.0]

FNM trivia for the win!

[Prog Snob]

Guy on the right seriously looks like Mike Patton.

He cares a lot

Except Mike did not sing that song on the first album.


*drops mike*


Not Patton.

I never heard the first album.  I only heard that song on Live at the Brixton Academy.

[sneakyblueberry]

not missing much.

[jammindude]

not missing much.

Dont listen to him! Introduce Yourself is amazing! And Chuck Mosley has a charm all his own, even if he isnt technically as talented.

[Prog Snob]

not missing much.

Dont listen to him! Introduce Yourself is amazing! And Chuck Mosley has a charm all his own, even if he isnt technically as talented.

Maybe I will JD