Stuff you thought everyone knew, but apparently not

[Orbert]

In the office where I work, we have one of those Bunn coffee machines like in restaurants.  It has three burners: the two in front are usually occupied by pots of Regular and Decaffeinated; the one in back is where the empty pot sits.  You fill the empty one with water and pour it in the top to make a new pot of Regular or Decaf.  Basic setup.  It's understood that the pot with the orange handle is for Decaf and the brown handle is Regular.  This is America.  This is how it works.

So after lunch, I go to get some coffee, and there's Decaf but no Regular at the moment; someone is in the middle of making a fresh pot of Regular.  Cool, I'll wait.  He's fumbling around, trying to open the stupid coffee packets (which admittedly are a pain in the ass) and sees me standing there, so he points at the orange-handled pot and says something like "Here's some, this might take me a minute."

I tell him "No thanks, I'll wait for Regular."  He looks all confused.  "That's Decaf," I explain. 

He still looks confused.  "How can you tell?"

"You know, the orange handle."  What, is this guy an idiot?

He says "Oh, is that how that works?"

I wanted to say "What the fuck planet are you from, dipshit?!  The orange handle is Decaf; the brown handle is Regular.  Everyone knows that!"  Instead, I tried (probably unsuccessfully) to not adopt a condescending tone and said "Well, yeah" (but I still added "you moron" in my mind).

So... what, he thought one of the pots just happened to have a different colored handle, meanwhile we just guess as to which pot has Regular and which has Decaf, because there's no correlation between the two?  Doesn't everyone know this?

And then it hit me:  Oh shit!  What if, in his obviously extreme ignorance, he's been putting Decaf in the brown-handled pot?!

I grabbed the pot out of his hand and smashed it across his face.  A shard of glass must've severed an artery or something because there was a lot of blood and it just kept flowing, like a fountain, as I stood there triumphantly, laughing, secure in the knowledge that I'd rid the world (and more importantly, my office) of a horrible menace.

Okay, I might have made that last part up.

[Podaar]

 

[Ben_Jamin]

Not everyone knows basic things like that. I know of places whom use a green and black handle,  others have both orange and green. But he shouldve known which side is decaff and which isn't.

[Orbert]

If there's green and black, the green is Decaf.  If there's orange and green, whoever orders supplies needs to be fired.

[Big Hath]

I'm not a coffee drinker so I would have had no clue.  Never made a pot of coffee in my life.

[Perpetual Change]

Yeah, younger people and non-coffee drinkers wouldn't know.

[SomeoneLikeHim]

I'm not a coffee drinker so I would have had no clue.  Never made a pot of coffee in my life.

[Perpetual Change]

Also, decaf doesn't exist in this office... so it's perfectly acceptable to brew regular in whatever color vessel you like

[Cool Chris]

I never drink coffee, and I knew that. Though I guess I could see how someone might not. But not someone who drinks enough coffee that they would go to the trouble to make some in their office if the pot was empty.

[Jaq]

I'd look at you funny because I've never seen Orange mean decaff, just green. 

[RuRoRul]

I'm not a coffee drinker so I would have had no clue.  Never made a pot of coffee in my life.

[Implode]

Put me down as another ignorant to coffee practices.

I'll add to the thread though. I was having dinner at my girlfriend's house, and her mom mentions that she has a dentist appointment the next day at 2:30. I kind of smile and say, "Was that intentional?" They look at my confusedly. "You know...two-thirty...tooth hurty? What time do you go to the dentist?" They had never heard that before. That was like the first joke I'd ever heard right after the chicken crossing the road. Come on.

[Prog Snob]

If there's green and black, the green is Decaf.  If there's orange and green, whoever orders supplies needs to be fired.

 

I feel your pain!

[HarlequinForest]

I didn't know that. I've never worked in an office, and the only coffee pot I've used it at my home.

[Orbert]

Okay, maybe I should have qualified it to "Stuff you thought everyone who actually partakes in a certain activity should know about that particular activity, but apparently not".  But I think there's a limit to the length of a thread title.  Obviously people who don't drink coffee or work in an office wouldn't need to know this.  But there's still no excuse for just blindly doing something when common sense would tell you that there are protocols to be observed.  Find out how it's done, and do it properly this time and every time.

I'll add to the thread though. I was having dinner at my girlfriend's house, and her mom mentions that she has a dentist appointment the next day at 2:30. I kind of smile and say, "Was that intentional?" They look at my confusedly. "You know...two-thirty...tooth hurty? What time do you go to the dentist?" They had never heard that before. That was like the first joke I'd ever heard right after the chicken crossing the road. Come on.

Thank You!  This really wasn't supposed to be another Orbert rant thread.  I was hoping for more stuff that we can all mock.

[wolfking]

I was jumping up and down and punching the air while I was reading that last paragraph but then I read the last line. 

Anway, I'm from Australia and our coffee setups are completely different, but I would have worked that out.  I was going to say that non coffee drinkers are pretty much little pussys when it comes to coffee you reading that he is a coffee drinker, so he is obviously a fuckhead and isn't man enough to even drink coffee IMO.  You should have done what you wrote in your last paragraph.

Also, what the fuck is with going to a coffee shop ordering a triple shot mocha or tipe flat white and you see a 17 year old kid making the coffee and you get it and it tastes like shit.  Why do franchises teach non coffee drinkers how to make coffee.  If I had my own coffee shop, when I'm hiring part of the interview would be me putting a triple espresso in front of the candidate and asking them to drink it.  If they cringe or grimace, or tell me they don't drink coffee, interview over!!

[El Barto]

Okay, maybe I should have qualified it to "Stuff you thought everyone who actually partakes in a certain activity should know about that particular activity, but apparently not".  But I think there's a limit to the length of a thread title.  Obviously people who don't drink coffee or work in an office wouldn't need to know this.  But there's still no excuse for just blindly doing something when common sense would tell you that there are protocols to be observed.  Find out how it's done, and do it properly this time and every time.

Working with the people I do for the last 15 years, I've learned that some people are intellectually curious and others aren't. I explained this to one of them earlier today, in fact. I'm always thinking to myself "I wonder why that is." "I wonder if there's a better way to do this?" "There has to be a reason why there are three different types of tape here. They must work differently." My coworkers are the sort to always do what they know worked once and resist change at all cost. Learning new things is boring. Thinking is boring. New concepts are boring. They've probably been exposed to enough coffee pots to know the color coding, but if they hadn't been explicitly told the difference before, they never once would have questioned it and most likely never would have even noticed it.

For the record, I despise these sorts of people. This is the sort of thing that drives me apeshit:

Nimrod: Why are you doing it that way?
Barto: Well, I've found that if you do this, this and this, it prevents such and such from happening.
Nimrod: I've never had such and such happen before.
Barto: So? Do you recognize that such and such is always a possibility and maybe doing something the best way is better than just doing it however works?
Nimrod: [vacant look] [walks off to discuss 2 Broke Girls with somebody else]

Anton LaVey said it's a shame that stupidity isn't painful (wonderful sentiment, BTW). I'm convinced that to half the world it's in fact thinking that is painful. There are just too many people who would rather not have to think at any cost. Not only does this sadden me, but it saddles the rest of us with a society of mediocrity.

[TempusVox]

Barto...stupidity is painful. It's painful to those of us who have to deal with stupidity. 

[jingle.boy]

And then it hit me:  Oh shit!  What if, in his obviously extreme ignorance, he's been putting Decaf in the brown-handled pot?!

The bigger (and more likely) problem is that this fucker has been brewing regular in the decaf pot.  How many people looking for a splash of decaf at the end of the day have been bugeyed until 2 in the morning wondering why abbreviation is such a long word?  Or if the hokey pokey IS what it's all about.

[hefdaddy42]

stupidity is painful.

Sometimes.

[rumborak]

EB, I hear you, and I've never understood that either. What's even worse, this steadfast dogheadedness is something revered by the public. The first German chancellor was once confronted with having changed his mind about a topic, and his curt reply was "what do I care about my own yesterday's rambling?". You could not pull off a quote like that these days. In this day and age taking new information and subsequently changing your opinion on something is seen as a sign of moral weakness.

[bout to crash]

  at the end of the OP

I knew about the coffee, but there are definitely "basic" things I found out later in life so I can't judge.

[rumborak]

I'm always blown away when there's people who have to remind themselves where left and right are.

[sueño]

Barto...stupidity is painful. It's painful to those of us who have to deal with stupidity. 

[El Barto]

The fact that stupid people aren't smart enough to realize that they're lacking is really fascinating to me, and it explains a great deal. I've always been amused at how people who can't comprehend what I'm saying invariably think the reason they don't get it is because I'm stupid. Then it keeps reinforcing itself because the more you try to explain it to them the dumber you look in their eyes. 

[rumborak]

There's actually an interesting psychological concept behind it. In just about all aspects of life, people on average overestimate their standing as compared to the general public. So, unless they got it somehow certified that they're below average, people think they're smarter than average. And even if, I'm sure everybody has heard the "street smarts" stuff, which is just another way for the brain to convince yourself you're above average at "what counts".

[Perpetual Change]

There's actually an interesting psychological concept behind it. In just about all aspects of life, people on average overestimate their standing as compared to the general public. So, unless they got it somehow certified that they're below average, people think they're smarter than average. And even if, I'm sure everybody has heard the "street smarts" stuff, which is just another way for the brain to convince yourself you're above average at "what counts".

I definitely grew out of feeling superior to everyone in terms of intelligence. But now I just feel like I'm dumber and less valuable overall. And since I'm the youngest, least experienced, and least skilled dude at work, it is probably true.

[Orbert]

And then it hit me:  Oh shit!  What if, in his obviously extreme ignorance, he's been putting Decaf in the brown-handled pot?!

The bigger (and more likely) problem is that this fucker has been brewing regular in the decaf pot.  How many people looking for a splash of decaf at the end of the day have been bugeyed until 2 in the morning wondering why abbreviation is such a long word?  Or if the hokey pokey IS what it's all about.

You're right, this is a bigger deal.  If I think I'm drinking caffeinated, psychologically I'm wired up, and half the time I don't need it anyway; it's just something to sip on while I work because I'm used to doing so.

But someone who really doesn't want or need caffeine getting a dose, that's not cool.

[jingle.boy]

[Lucien]

Reminds me of a video game called The Stanley Parable.

Yeah, as a relatively young member of this forum it saddens me that much older people.. Find pain or strangeness in thinking. I'm just glad the field I'm pursuing (music education) doesn't require me to be around such people (assuming my fellow high school teachers aren't all boring, and I know I've had many amazing teachers at the school I am now, so I'm hopeful. The kids should theoretically be fine as my classmates in orchestra are generally very intelligent, some of the most intelligent in the school.).

[El Barto]

There's actually an interesting psychological concept behind it. In just about all aspects of life, people on average overestimate their standing as compared to the general public. So, unless they got it somehow certified that they're below average, people think they're smarter than average. And even if, I'm sure everybody has heard the "street smarts" stuff, which is just another way for the brain to convince yourself you're above average at "what counts".

Another psychological element is it seems that to know you're no good at something requires exactly the same cognitive skill set as it does to actually be good at it. Put another way, to know that you're deficient in something requires you to understand what it is that you're deficient in. Therefore simple people lack precisely what they need to know that they're simple. A practical aspect of it is a coworker of mine who thinks I'm a pendejo because she thinks I'm talking nonsense to her couldn't possibly see it any other way if she can't realize that I'm not talking nonsense to her in the first place.


edit: and back to the coffee, I've decided that caffeine is absolutely insidious. When I was trying to fight off a stomach bug over Christmas I stopped drinking coffee in the morning and replaced it with hot cocoa which is actually quite good for the tummy. After a couple of days I developed a splitting headache that no amount of Tylenol could knock down. It'd actually wake me up at night. Resolving it was a simple matter of fighting off the bug so I could fix a pot of coffee in the morning. I've started waning myself down further. I was drinking half-calf, and now I mixed up my last pound at 40-60 and will continue to swing it 20% a pound to see how it goes.

[pogoowner]

I work at a certain big box retailer. We all carry walkie talkies in order to quickly communicate with one another. Yesterday, I forgot to turn mine off as I sat in the lounge on my lunch break. Our customer service desk associate, a rather ditzy girl of about 18, comes on the walkie and says, "I have a customer on the phone who wants to know if we carry lumber," at which point I start chuckling because anyone with half a brain can tell that we have nothing of the sort. Before I can respond, a fellow manager says over the walkie, "I can't believe you just asked that," at which point I really start laughing. The girl responds, in total seriousness, "I don't know what that is."

I almost fell off the couch.

[Orbert]

[Tom Bombadil]

I know for a fact that someone at my work asked me the same question about coffee pots. I wasn't able to hold back my remarks though.

[TempusVox]

Back to the thread title, apparently not a lot of people know that ALOT is not a word.
Another thing that perplexes me is that people don't use the Oxford comma when they should. However, I am aware it's sort of controversial; although when I don't see it used I notice it.
And finally, people panic and lose their minds at a 4-way stop. Why is this so damn complicated, and how did they pass their driving test if they don't know what to do?