I should point out that "nigger" is definitely not the only word with offensive/insulting origins that is used among friends.
So far in this thread, I haven't seen any other ethnic slur used in such a way. Nor do I hear of folks commenting about other groups desiring to use ethnic slurs peculiar to their own group.
I think the word is vile no matter who uses it for whatever reason. But there is rarely any uproar about other groups. Unless...they have grown beyond referring to themselves in derogatory ways?
I don't know. I don't have friends that use offensive/insulting words, in or outside my ethnic group.
I am of mixed heritage - mother Cape Verdian (a weird ethnic mixture of black and Portuguese) and my biological father Italian.
My best friend is 100% Italian
Now, I grew up in a place called New Bedford, which is well-known in New England as a hub of Portuguese immigrants. Indeed, my mother was not born in the US, nor was my biological father.
Two of the most commonly used racial slurs to describe the Portuguese in New Bedford were/are "Greenhorn" or "Portagee" (pronounced "Por-tah-gee" with a hard "g" as in "green")
Two of the most commonly used racial slurs to describe the Italian are "Dago" and "Wop"
If you heard my best friend (who happens to be my brother-in-law since we're married to sisters) and me going back and forth when we are working on some projects together, and you didn't know us, you might think we hate each other.
Me: Hand me that screwdriver you fucking dago grease-ball.
Him: Shut the fuck up ya gawdamned greenhorn, can'tcha see I'm doin' sumptin?
Me: Come on you fucking wop immigrant nut sack, hurry up!
Him: Bite me you damned portagee, go eat some fava beans!
We almost never do this unless we have an unsuspecting audience. It's always comical to watch the reactions.
All I'm saying is, it may not be the most common thing in the world, but there ARE people who use "racial slurs" in everyday language and they often do it
IN SPITE OF the fact that it makes some people uncomfortable. Hell, my brother-in-law and I do it precisely
because of the affect it has on some folks.
Words are nothing more than letters arranged in a certain order that articulate sounds that we've assigned a meaning to. They have precisely the amount of power that we allow them to have. No more or no less. Yes, there are certain times and places where it may be inappropriate and/or insensitive to use certain words, but I think at some point it becomes a little bit too much to give a single word so much power that its mere utterance triggers avalanches of unadulterated horror and outrage.