Author Topic: The n-word and its use  (Read 5741 times)

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Offline vtgrad

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Re: The n-word and its use
« Reply #175 on: June 01, 2018, 02:05:28 PM »
This is getting out of control.  I don't agree with Samantha Bee using that word.

But it is interesting to me that Ted Nugent can call Hillary the same word and be cordially invited to The White House.

One wonders where this will all end.   :justjen

Personally, I don't think it ever will end.  As long as someone is offended by a word (vowel and consonant sounds), someone else will use it as an offense... and someone else will be "OK" with certain people using the word and "not OK" with certain people using the word.  I guess it's up to us to make up our own minds about what we (spoken in the collective) will let offend us and what we won't... what we will consider fightn' words and what we will let run off our backs as the opinions or idiocies of someone else.

Our culture and our news/entertainment providers will reflect and feed on each other always I think (creating a loop); they're simply giving us what they think we want to see.  I don't understand why Rosanne is cancelled (not taking her part, just making a point), yet S. Bee can throw that term out and keep her show while Nugent is invited to the White House after using the same term... and I don't think we're (again used in the collective) meant to understand it.  We're just meant to absorb it into our culture and argue about who should be fired and who shouldn't... when that's not really the issue.  Maybe the issue is why do we try to hurt each other in the first place?  Or perhaps why do we let words take us to this point to begin with and give the people using these words the attention they're trying to amass and reward them by flooding the media with these stories?



"Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter; Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man."  Ecclesiastes 12:13

Now with Twitler taking a high end steak of this caliber and insulting the cow that died for it by having it well done just shows zero respect for the product, which falls right in line with the amount of respect he shows for pretty much everything else.- Lonestar

Offline bosk1

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Re: The n-word and its use
« Reply #176 on: June 01, 2018, 02:09:53 PM »
We're just meant to absorb it into our culture and argue about who should be fired and who shouldn't... when that's not really the issue.  Maybe the issue is why do we try to hurt each other in the first place?

Or perhaps they are BOTH issues worthy of discussion?  The importance of one doesn't necessarily disqualify the importance of the other.
"The Supreme Court of the United States has descended from the disciplined legal reasoning of John Marshall and Joseph Story to the mystical aphorisms of the fortune cookie."

Offline vtgrad

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Re: The n-word and its use
« Reply #177 on: June 01, 2018, 02:28:19 PM »
We're just meant to absorb it into our culture and argue about who should be fired and who shouldn't... when that's not really the issue.  Maybe the issue is why do we try to hurt each other in the first place?

Or perhaps they are BOTH issues worthy of discussion?  The importance of one doesn't necessarily disqualify the importance of the other.

That's an equitable point.  Maybe a better way for me to phrase it would be for us (the collective society) to try and tackle the issue of the root-cause (hurting each other in the first place) with as much fervor and energy with which we attack the symptoms of that root-cause.  Again, I'm not speaking specifically of DTF, I'm speaking of our society in general (the collective I mentioned earlier).
"Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter; Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man."  Ecclesiastes 12:13

Now with Twitler taking a high end steak of this caliber and insulting the cow that died for it by having it well done just shows zero respect for the product, which falls right in line with the amount of respect he shows for pretty much everything else.- Lonestar

Offline bosk1

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Re: The n-word and its use
« Reply #178 on: June 01, 2018, 02:57:04 PM »
Oh, I know.  And I agree with you.  I'm just not sure what we do about it, other than each of us individually trying to be the best version of ourselves that we can.
"The Supreme Court of the United States has descended from the disciplined legal reasoning of John Marshall and Joseph Story to the mystical aphorisms of the fortune cookie."

Offline KevShmev

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Re: The n-word and its use
« Reply #179 on: June 03, 2018, 09:00:46 PM »
My 13-year old nephew recently said to me how he finds a bit how confusing how the n-word is supposed to be so wrong, yet a bunch of black kids at his school say it.  One black kid and he are friendly and the kid occasionally refers to my nephew as "my n-word" (with the -a at the end, not -er) in a friendly way.  I said to him, "Don't ever say that back to him or think it is okay to say that word to anyone."  He asked why it was okay for some to say it and not okay for others, and I said, "I don't have a good answer for that, but just never say it."  He said he wouldn't and I believe him.  He is a great kid.  :coolio

Offline Chino

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Re: The n-word and its use
« Reply #180 on: June 04, 2018, 06:15:37 AM »
My 13-year old nephew recently said to me how he finds a bit how confusing how the n-word is supposed to be so wrong, yet a bunch of black kids at his school say it.  One black kid and he are friendly and the kid occasionally refers to my nephew as "my n-word" (with the -a at the end, not -er) in a friendly way.  I said to him, "Don't ever say that back to him or think it is okay to say that word to anyone."  He asked why it was okay for some to say it and not okay for others, and I said, "I don't have a good answer for that, but just never say it."  He said he wouldn't and I believe him.  He is a great kid.  :coolio


Offline Stadler

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Re: The n-word and its use
« Reply #181 on: June 04, 2018, 07:56:33 AM »
One, I've been saying this - about "hurting others" for a while now.   It's baffling to me how so many see these shootings and latch onto guns; I may say it more kindly in person, but I make no bones about the fact that I think the people that see these shootings and immediately jump to "gun control" are either opportunists at worst, or misguided and simply not doing the homework at best.    For me, the real point in all that is how we've cultivated a group of kids - human beings that supposedly are learning OUR morals and OUR values - that have such ease in KILLING - in cold blood - their friends, classmates and peers.   We talk a lot about how "easy" it is kill with a gun, but frankly, I don't see how it's "easy" to kill at all.  Whether it's a close-up knife to the throat or a bullet at 10 yards (school shootings are not exactly long-range target contests; that last kid used a shotgun which is useless beyond say 40 yards with someone who knows what they're doing, perhaps 20 if you don't) you still have to look at these people in the eye and watch them suffer.  I cry when I hit a squirrel in the street.  I can't imagine watching the life flow out of someone I've perhaps known for 10 or more years.   

Observation:  if the "intent" matters, as so many say it does (and I don't believe at this point) why does "-a" and "-er" make a difference?   Why is that somehow a magic bullet that allows (some) to use the word and others not?

Offline vtgrad

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Re: The n-word and its use
« Reply #182 on: June 04, 2018, 01:24:14 PM »
Oh, I know.  And I agree with you.  I'm just not sure what we do about it, other than each of us individually trying to be the best version of ourselves that we can.

Other than what you just wrote, I don't know of any other way.   I don't know what to do about it less a fundamental change at the root of all of us.

My 13-year old nephew recently said to me how he finds a bit how confusing how the n-word is supposed to be so wrong, yet a bunch of black kids at his school say it.  One black kid and he are friendly and the kid occasionally refers to my nephew as "my n-word" (with the -a at the end, not -er) in a friendly way. 

I didn't grow up rough at all, but I hung out with some very good friends who did (friends that I still have to this day); they were of differing races all but we bonded over basketball and then 6 of us became very, very close friends... as in going to family funerals close.  Not sure that happens much these days with the early and mid teens (don't know because I'm not a father).

Anyway, the three gentlemen of our group that are black always called all of us "my n-with an a"... and one of those men still to this day will call me that when I see him.  It's a term of love and respect between us all... and growing up I did see a distinction between "n with an a" and "n with an er".

Playing ball in a rough neighborhood (where the best games always were anyway) on one fine August afternoon, I personally was approached by an older guy (mid 20s probably; I was 14) who accused me of exposing myself to his sister (which of course I did NOT do)... he wasn't having my denials and was starting to try and grab me.  To my amazement (still amazing when I think about it), all 9 of the guys on the court with me had my back and proceeded to beat this guy to a pulp.  He didn't really help himself any during the beat-down by calling all of the guys "n with an er".... seemed to make everyone a bit more upset.

Two older men come out of the apartment complex and break up the fight (more amazing still that we didn't get in trouble with the law) and one of my black friends told the men that "I had to take up for my n-with an a"; mid-20s that got his a$$ handed to him didn't understand why it was OK for my friend to refer to me with that word as it was one of the reasons given to the older men for the beat-down in the first place (dude was screaming it at the top of his lungs... he's honestly lucky that one of those two men didn't finish the job my friends started).  My friend said "I'm using it with love, you're using it with hate".  It's all in the context I guess.

Honestly, it's nice to hear that about your nephew... that's nothing but a good thing in my eyes!  Though I think your advice was right.
« Last Edit: June 04, 2018, 01:39:53 PM by vtgrad »
"Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter; Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man."  Ecclesiastes 12:13

Now with Twitler taking a high end steak of this caliber and insulting the cow that died for it by having it well done just shows zero respect for the product, which falls right in line with the amount of respect he shows for pretty much everything else.- Lonestar