Advice needed on not inviting kids to a party

[Sir GuitarCozmo]

And if anyone ever included something like this:

"Adults only, NO kids - Not interested in incoherent, screaming, smelly, ignorant piles of flesh pissing me off on my birthday."

in their invite, I would take it as a sign that they didn't value my friendship.

If I saw someone put that in their invitation, I would probably take them out and buy them a beer. 

[DarkLord_Lalinc]

"We'll be expecting some strippers and some of DarkLord's hostages in this event, bring your kids under your own risk"

[sueño]

And if anyone ever included something like this:

"Adults only, NO kids - Not interested in incoherent, screaming, smelly, ignorant piles of flesh pissing me off on my birthday."

in their invite, I would take it as a sign that they didn't value my friendship.

If I saw someone put that in their invitation, I would probably take them out and buy them a beer. 

This.

I have a kid (adult now) but I never had a problem with him not being invited where adults were.  Even I would have events he couldn't attend.  *shrug*  I've never understood parents being offended by what other adults want to do at their own place.  And if mine was the ONLY kid not invited??     I would seriously reassess how my son behaved.  It's not on others to accept him, it's on me (and him) to make him acceptable.  My friendship is not contingent on if you'd like to have my son everywhere you have me.  If I'm honest, I think it's important for kids to learn that there are restrictions in the world and they need to deal with them.  It's nothing personal -- at least to me.

I'm not in love with everyone else's kids, either, so....   

[philmcson]

Be as straightforward and blunt about it as possible, and prepare for a bitchfest.  I've seen friends try to pull this off and it is always the parents of the most unruly destructive bastards that bitch and moan the most.

 

[sueño]

Be as straightforward and blunt about it as possible, and prepare for a bitchfest.  I've seen friends try to pull this off and it is always the parents of the most unruly destructive bastards that bitch and moan the most.

 

^^^THAT is TOO much YEP!!!!      

[philmcson]

Be as straightforward and blunt about it as possible, and prepare for a bitchfest.  I've seen friends try to pull this off and it is always the parents of the most unruly destructive bastards that bitch and moan the most.

 

^^^THAT is TOO much YEP!!!!      

It sounds to me like they're thinking "we failed in teaching them how to behave and now we have some kind of sadism and want to ruin your party by bringing them over as they are!" At least this is how it turns out in the end when those kids become attraction whores of the evening.
And of course, all topics they bring up (or most of them) are how smart their beloved ones are and awwwwwwh. 

[sueño]

Believe me -- they are NOT thinking that they "failed in teaching them how to behave".   

They more than likely believe they are "progressive parents", not "stifling" the spirit and individuality of their little darlings by disciplining them and "they're just being kids". 

I was at a shop the other day and heard a child wound up into a mad tantrum.  Unacceptable IMO, but I'm thinking maybe it's a tired three-year-old who needs to go home.  I round the corner and see that it is a girl who is at least six!!!     Losing her mind, stomping around, crying, screaming, sitting on the floor with her arms crossed...I can't even remember what she was babbling about.  Her mother was just, "now you have to be quiet.  you're in big trouble when you get home (  ), etc."  It went on for 10 minutes; I had to leave the store.   

She's likely the sort of mother who would not be happy if her brat couldn't come to an adult party.  She probably can't find anyone to look after the little beast...

[ZirconBlue]

And if anyone ever included something like this:

"Adults only, NO kids - Not interested in incoherent, screaming, smelly, ignorant piles of flesh pissing me off on my birthday."

in their invite, I would take it as a sign that they didn't value my friendship.

If I saw someone put that in their invitation, I would probably take them out and buy them a beer. 

This.

I have a kid (adult now) but I never had a problem with him not being invited where adults were.  Even I would have events he couldn't attend.  *shrug*  I've never understood parents being offended by what other adults want to do at their own place.  And if mine was the ONLY kid not invited??     I would seriously reassess how my son behaved.  It's not on others to accept him, it's on me (and him) to make him acceptable.  My friendship is not contingent on if you'd like to have my son everywhere you have me.  If I'm honest, I think it's important for kids to learn that there are restrictions in the world and they need to deal with them.  It's nothing personal -- at least to me.

I'm not in love with everyone else's kids, either, so....   

So, you seriously would have no issue with your child being characterized as "incoherent, screaming, smelly, ignorant piles of flesh"?

[KevShmev]

So, dude... I never check the calendar section, and was just thinking that your party must've happened by now.  Sorry I missed the 'big' day a couple weeks ago.  How was the party?  Any problems with the child issue?

Oh, and a belated happy birthday... not sure if I also missed a birthday thread for ya too.

First off, thanks!

Secondly, the party was awesome.  Lots of family and friends there; a good time was had by all.

No problems at all with the child issue.  The only kids there were my niece and nephew, the homeowner's/friend's 2-year old and my friend Matt's (who is the brother of the friend's, whose house the party was at; I have been friends with both for 23+ years) 6-year old.  All was good.

[sueño]

So, you seriously would have no issue with your child being characterized as "incoherent, screaming, smelly, ignorant piles of flesh"?

If that is the impression my child was giving people and that statement was directed specifically at me, I would be horrified at my obvious lack of child-rearing skills and do whatever I could to remove that reputation from him.  That was the impression I had of that kid in the store I described earlier...I blame her mother.

If I received an invitation like that, I would assume he was exaggerating to make a point, chuckle about it and go about finding a sitter.

I never assume offense from others.  Especially from my friends.

[bout to crash]

Happy belated, Kev!

I just thought of this thread when I sent out a Facebook invite for a party at my new place. On the event page I wrote something like this:
"BRING: food, beer, hallucinogens, your violet wand. DON'T BRING: kids, pets, bad attitudes"

That way, everyone knows what kind of party it might be and why I don't want their kids there. It's also a one bedroom, and space is going to be tight as it is.
I realize this could prevent one or two people from coming if they don't have someone to watch their kid/s, but whatever. At my age I don't have a ton of friends with kids anyway...

[Dark Castle]

What if...it was a pet chameleon?

[bout to crash]

Then my cats would eat it

[Crazy4DT]

So, you seriously would have no issue with your child being characterized as "incoherent, screaming, smelly, ignorant piles of flesh"?

p sure that's the definition of children.

[ZirconBlue]

So, you seriously would have no issue with your child being characterized as "incoherent, screaming, smelly, ignorant piles of flesh"?

p sure that's the definition of children.

Yeah, no.

[sueño]

How many kids do you have?

And how old are they?

[ZirconBlue]

How many kids do you have?

And how old are they?

1.  Age 10.