Author Topic: Scenes From A Hat: Round 2 (Read 164436 times)

Podaar · « **Reply #1295 on:** August 20, 2013, 12:50:55 PM »

[whisper] So, I told his ex-wife she could do the cutting. Go see if she's scrubbed up yet.

jingle.boy · « **Reply #1296 on:** August 20, 2013, 02:15:43 PM »

Bring us a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out. And then bring one every ten minutes.

*eeppphhhhhh* <pause> eeeeerrr....

lonestar · « **Reply #1297 on:** August 20, 2013, 02:49:01 PM »

Quote from: jingle.boy on August 20, 2013, 02:15:43 PM

Bring us a pitcher of beer every seven minutes until somebody passes out. And then bring one every ten minutes.

Love that line...

Hey Betsy, did I ever show you my intestine balloon animal tricks?

So, what are we taking out again?

Jaffa · « **Reply #1298 on:** August 20, 2013, 03:11:33 PM »

"Alright, give me the scorpions."

Scorpion · « **Reply #1299 on:** August 20, 2013, 04:11:27 PM »

Quote from: Jaffa on August 20, 2013, 03:11:33 PM

"Alright, give me the scorpions."

Hey there big boy.

Jaffa · « **Reply #1300 on:** August 20, 2013, 04:16:57 PM »

gmillerdrake · « **Reply #1301 on:** August 22, 2013, 08:07:30 AM »

Quote from: jingle.boy on August 20, 2013, 10:57:29 AM

You know Betty, I'm still in shock that I beat all those malpractice charges.

Sorry for the delay.....but this is probably something you wouldn't want to hear. Good one Chad. Your da winner!

jingle.boy · « **Reply #1302 on:** August 22, 2013, 11:37:17 AM »

Thanks Bro. Got a feeling it was a sympathy vote for going all ninja on me a couple rounds back. I thought there were others that were funnier. But, a victory is a victory.

Standings:

jingle.boy - 12
gmillerdrake - 10
lonestar - 7
TempusVox - 5
kingshmegland - 5
TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Podaar - 4
Scorpion - 3
BlobVanDam - 3
Sir GuitarCozmo - 3
DebraKadabra - 2
Jarlaxle - 2
bout to crash - 2
TheSilentHam - 2
Ruba - 2
Jonnybaxy - 2
JayOctavarium - 2
Zydar - 2
El Barto - 1
Lolzeez - 1
masterthes - 1
soundgarden - 1

Today's scene - Inappropriate things to say/do to your partner after making whoopie.

Sir GuitarCozmo · « **Reply #1303 on:** August 22, 2013, 11:42:49 AM »

Cuddle.

Podaar · « **Reply #1304 on:** August 22, 2013, 11:46:52 AM »

"Who's the bitch now?!"

"From now on I want you to call me Stanley. Like the power drill."

Who am I trying to kid, I won't come up with anything funnier that Cos. Just declare him the winner and let's move on.

gmillerdrake · « **Reply #1305 on:** August 22, 2013, 12:08:16 PM »

By the way....in a couple days that burning you feel when pee and nasty blister is courtesy of the hooker I shagged at my brothers bachelor party last week.

Sir GuitarCozmo · « **Reply #1306 on:** August 22, 2013, 12:21:50 PM »

Wipe your dick on the curtains.

"Now where's my sandwich?"

"NEXT!"

Podaar · « **Reply #1307 on:** August 22, 2013, 12:28:37 PM »

"You can give me back my beer now."

"Toward the end there, you sounded just like your sister."

"Say, could I interest you in a pair of zircon encrusted tweezers?"

Sir GuitarCozmo · « **Reply #1308 on:** August 22, 2013, 12:47:37 PM »

Cab fare's on the dresser. ZZZZZZZZZZ....

gmillerdrake · « **Reply #1309 on:** August 22, 2013, 12:48:51 PM »

Was that a 'pinch' at the end? I preferred the counter clockwise swirl.

lonestar · « **Reply #1310 on:** August 22, 2013, 01:59:54 PM »

Actually, you can leave the gag ball in...

THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

From the female perspective... "Is it in yet?"

Podaar · « **Reply #1311 on:** August 22, 2013, 02:53:25 PM »

Quote from: lonestar on August 22, 2013, 01:59:54 PM

From the female perspective... "Is it in yet?"

Sung to the tune of BTO's You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet

"I ain't felt nothin' yet
B-b-b-b-baby is that as big as it'll get
Here's somethin' just to easy to forget
B-b-b-b-baby I just ain't felt nothin' yet
You just ain't very big around."

King Postwhore · « **Reply #1312 on:** August 22, 2013, 03:42:33 PM »

Did you learn to fuck from your grandmother because you're a dead lay as well.

gmillerdrake · « **Reply #1313 on:** August 22, 2013, 04:20:20 PM »

Where the heck did that Gerbil come from?

I've heard of going all natural but I'm going to need a machete and canteen if you expect me to go back in there.

lonestar · « **Reply #1314 on:** August 22, 2013, 04:30:32 PM »

God I hope we get twins out of that.

(nothing against twins of course

)

gmillerdrake · « **Reply #1315 on:** August 22, 2013, 06:23:18 PM »

Dang girl.....your Dad was right about you.....

lonestar · « **Reply #1316 on:** August 22, 2013, 06:33:26 PM »

Hmmm, you know, next time can you roll over, that way I can pretend you're a guy...

gmillerdrake · « **Reply #1317 on:** August 22, 2013, 06:38:32 PM »

Do you mind if my three buddies take a turn? Meet Hector...Caesar and Cortez.

serrano · « **Reply #1318 on:** August 23, 2013, 12:23:39 AM »

Yeah, your sister was right, she's better.

About my vasectomy, well...

What was your name again?

jingle.boy · « **Reply #1319 on:** August 23, 2013, 06:37:37 AM »

Quote from: Podaar on August 22, 2013, 11:46:52 AM

Who am I trying to kid, I won't come up with anything funnier that Cos. Just declare him the winner and let's move on.

Right you were Podaar... That was a walk off grand-slam Coz. Gary gave it a good run, but cuddling is definitely inappropriate.

You be up Coz.

TempusVox · « **Reply #1320 on:** August 23, 2013, 07:54:02 AM »

"I should have just cum in your shoe and let the flies take care of the rest."

EDIT: Damn...helps to see if a winner was already chosen.

Sir GuitarCozmo · « **Reply #1321 on:** August 23, 2013, 08:50:14 AM »

As soon as I typed it, I must admit, I felt pretty confident.

Standings:

jingle.boy - 12
gmillerdrake - 10
lonestar - 7
TempusVox - 5
kingshmegland - 5
TheLordOfTheStrings - 5
Podaar - 4
Sir GuitarCozmo - 4
Scorpion - 3
BlobVanDam - 3
DebraKadabra - 2
Jarlaxle - 2
bout to crash - 2
TheSilentHam - 2
Ruba - 2
Jonnybaxy - 2
JayOctavarium - 2
Zydar - 2
El Barto - 1
Lolzeez - 1
masterthes - 1
soundgarden - 1

TOPIC: Lies cats would tell if they could talk.

King Postwhore · « **Reply #1322 on:** August 23, 2013, 09:56:25 AM »

There is no way I tore up the newspaper. I love reading the comics page. Garfield is the shit.

gmillerdrake · « **Reply #1323 on:** August 23, 2013, 09:58:40 AM »

No....it's perfect normal to 'tuck' it and walk around singing "If you Want My Body"

King Postwhore · « **Reply #1324 on:** August 23, 2013, 10:02:05 AM »

WHERE THE HELL IS MY FOOD SLAVE?
WHERE THE HELL IS MY FOOD SLAVE?
WHERE THE HELL IS MY FOOD SLAVE?
WHERE THE HELL IS MY FOOD SLAVE?
WHERE THE HELL IS MY FOOD SLAVE?
WHERE THE HELL IS MY FOOD SLAVE?
WHERE THE HELL IS MY FOOD SLAVE?

Lucien · « **Reply #1325 on:** August 23, 2013, 10:16:04 AM »

No, of course you can't see me through this chair! How could you have known I scratched you?

BlobVanDam · « **Reply #1326 on:** August 23, 2013, 10:22:38 AM »

I used to sing for Nitro.

I love you.

That bird was already dead on the floor when I woke up.

JayOctavarium · « **Reply #1327 on:** August 23, 2013, 10:27:41 AM »

No. That is NOT mine! I cover my shit!

Podaar · « **Reply #1328 on:** August 23, 2013, 10:47:28 AM »

I only did it because the dog peed in the ficus pot.

You told me to pee on the stove element last week when I was up there trying to get at the fly. Remember, you told me to piss off? It's your fault. NOW WHERE THE HELL IS MY FOOD SLAVE?

King Postwhore · « **Reply #1329 on:** August 23, 2013, 10:53:45 AM »

PSSSS. I've got a genuine mouse here and it's only $10. It's a steal.

News: DreamTheaterForums is a place for people who just don't have the time for music anymore.

Author Topic: Scenes From A Hat: Round 2 (Read 164436 times)