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Author Topic: ITT we post pickup lines  (Read 2002 times)

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Offline Ħ

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ITT we post pickup lines
« on: March 14, 2013, 11:29:43 AM »
If you were a triangle, you'd be an acute one.

Are you from Tennessee? Cause you're the only ten I see.

Are you an archaeologist? Cause I have a large bone that needs examining.

Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?

Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I have a gun,
get in the van.

Girl: "I have a boyfriend."
You: "Now you have a man friend."






Proceed.
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"All great works are prepared in the desert, including the redemption of the world. The precursors, the followers, the Master Himself, all obeyed or have to obey one and the same law. Prophets, apostles, preachers, martyrs, pioneers of knowledge, inspired artists in every art, ordinary men and the Man-God, all pay tribute to loneliness, to the life of silence, to the night." - A. G. Sertillanges

Offline Chino

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #1 on: March 14, 2013, 11:43:37 AM »
If I were an enzyme I would be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.
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Offline lonestar

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #2 on: March 14, 2013, 11:45:21 AM »
You're like my big toe, cause I want to bang you on every piece of furniture in the house.
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Offline Sir GuitarCozmo

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #3 on: March 14, 2013, 11:47:46 AM »
That's a beautiful dress.  It would look great on the floor next to my bed.
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Offline JayOctavarium

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #4 on: March 14, 2013, 11:50:16 AM »
 :clap:
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I just don't understand what they were trying to achieve with any part of the song, either individually or as a whole. You know what? It's the Platypus of Dream Theater songs. That bill doesn't go with that tail, or that strange little furry body, or those webbed feet, and oh god why does it have venomous spurs!? And then you find out it lays eggs too. The difference is that the Platypus is somehow functional despite being a crazy mishmash or leftover animal pieces

-BlobVanDam on "Scarred"

Offline Zook

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #5 on: March 14, 2013, 12:01:35 PM »
I'm really wired... What do you say I take you home and eat your pussy?
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Offline KevShmev

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #6 on: March 14, 2013, 12:03:45 PM »
"How's about we go back to my place, eat some pizza and have sex?"

If she objects..."What, you don't like pizza??"
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Online King Postwhore

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #7 on: March 14, 2013, 12:11:12 PM »
OK folks, a real pick up line I used.

Me: So when are you going to take me out?

Girl: When when are you going to take me out?

Me: How about Friday night?

Girl: (Flustered)  Yes.

 :hat
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Offline MrBoom_shack-a-lack

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #8 on: March 14, 2013, 12:12:27 PM »
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Offline Zydar

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #9 on: March 14, 2013, 12:13:19 PM »
Quote from: lonestar on March 14, 2013, 11:45:21 AM
You're like my big toe, cause I want to bang you on every piece of furniture in the house.

 :lol

Quote from: Ħ on March 14, 2013, 11:29:43 AM
Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?
:zydar:
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Offline Big Hath

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #10 on: March 14, 2013, 12:26:07 PM »
Heaven must be missing an angel.
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Offline Sir GuitarCozmo

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #11 on: March 14, 2013, 12:34:44 PM »
Is it hot in here or are your boobs just huge?
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Offline jsem

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #12 on: March 14, 2013, 12:39:03 PM »
Quote from: Ħ on March 14, 2013, 11:29:43 AM
Are you an archaeologist? Cause I have a large bone that needs examining.
If only the penis actually was a bone.
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Offline Ħ

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #13 on: March 14, 2013, 12:39:33 PM »
:lol

Text this to a chick:
"Ay gurl u want some fuk?"

Works like a charm.
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"All great works are prepared in the desert, including the redemption of the world. The precursors, the followers, the Master Himself, all obeyed or have to obey one and the same law. Prophets, apostles, preachers, martyrs, pioneers of knowledge, inspired artists in every art, ordinary men and the Man-God, all pay tribute to loneliness, to the life of silence, to the night." - A. G. Sertillanges

Offline Super Dude

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #14 on: March 14, 2013, 01:05:51 PM »
Hey girl, are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.
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As frequently happens, Super Dude nailed it.
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Offline LieLowTheWantedMan

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #15 on: March 14, 2013, 01:08:28 PM »
Hey, have you seen my giant jar of penis reducing cream?
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Offline Vahvahenki

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #16 on: March 14, 2013, 01:11:37 PM »
I seem to have dropped my keys, would you mind picking them up?
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Offline MrBoom_shack-a-lack

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #17 on: March 14, 2013, 01:32:01 PM »
Quote from: Super Dude on March 14, 2013, 01:05:51 PM
Hey girl, are your parents retarded? Because you sure are special.
That's a keeper!  :lol
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Offline rumborak

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #18 on: March 14, 2013, 01:35:39 PM »
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Offline Nick

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #19 on: March 14, 2013, 01:40:10 PM »
Quote from: Chino on March 14, 2013, 11:43:37 AM
If I were an enzyme I would be DNA helicase so I could unzip your genes.

Definitely my favorite so far! :lol
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Offline JayOctavarium

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #20 on: March 14, 2013, 01:45:50 PM »
@Rumby  :rollin
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I just don't understand what they were trying to achieve with any part of the song, either individually or as a whole. You know what? It's the Platypus of Dream Theater songs. That bill doesn't go with that tail, or that strange little furry body, or those webbed feet, and oh god why does it have venomous spurs!? And then you find out it lays eggs too. The difference is that the Platypus is somehow functional despite being a crazy mishmash or leftover animal pieces

-BlobVanDam on "Scarred"

Offline snapple

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #21 on: March 14, 2013, 01:49:30 PM »
Yo
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Offline Chino

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #22 on: March 14, 2013, 02:01:49 PM »
Can I buy you a drink, or do you just want the money?

I may not be the best looking guy here, but I'm the only one talking to you.

If you were a new hamburger at McDonald's, you would be McGorgeous

Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag



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Offline PuffyPat

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #23 on: March 14, 2013, 02:10:55 PM »
Quote from: Chino on March 14, 2013, 02:01:49 PM
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag
:rollin :rollin :rollin

Best so far.
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Quote from: PuffyPat on September 18, 2016, 11:22:36 PM
prog sucks
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Offline lonestar

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #24 on: March 14, 2013, 02:22:17 PM »
Quote from: PuffyPat on March 14, 2013, 02:10:55 PM
Quote from: Chino on March 14, 2013, 02:01:49 PM
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag
:rollin :rollin :rollin

Best so far.

Agreed, wonder if it will work in the restaurant, without me getting fired that is.
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Offline bosk1

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #25 on: March 14, 2013, 03:16:48 PM »
Quote from: PuffyPat on March 14, 2013, 02:10:55 PM
Quote from: Chino on March 14, 2013, 02:01:49 PM
Oh, I'm sorry, I thought that was a braille name tag
:rollin :rollin :rollin

Breast so far.
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Offline AngelBack

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #26 on: March 14, 2013, 03:20:55 PM »
At the bar:

"Can I push in your stool"?


yeah I get slapped a lot.
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Offline Sir GuitarCozmo

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #27 on: March 14, 2013, 03:27:55 PM »
Those are the whitest teeth I'd ever like to come across...
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Offline senecadawg2

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #28 on: March 14, 2013, 09:10:00 PM »
Let's not turn this rape into a murder  ;)
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Offline axeman90210

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #29 on: March 14, 2013, 09:22:30 PM »
Help! The CIA's after my penis, can I hide it in you?
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Offline The King in Crimson

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #30 on: March 14, 2013, 10:09:23 PM »
My love for you is like a truck BERSERKER
Would you like some making fuck BERSERKER

Surprisingly not very effective.
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Offline Fiery Winds

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #31 on: March 14, 2013, 10:16:20 PM »
Quote from: The King in Crimson on March 14, 2013, 10:09:23 PM
My love for you is like a truck BERSERKER
Would you like some making fuck BERSERKER

Surprisingly not very effective.

Olaf!
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Offline Super Dude

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #32 on: March 14, 2013, 10:37:04 PM »
Quote from: The King in Crimson on March 14, 2013, 10:09:23 PM
My love for you is like a truck BERSERKER
Would you like some making fuck BERSERKER

Surprisingly not very effective.

That was...beautiful, man.
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As frequently happens, Super Dude nailed it.
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Offline Fiery Winds

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #33 on: March 14, 2013, 10:46:17 PM »
I just watched Clerks again last week, just before finding out about Clerks III, and so now I'm super pumped!

Back on topic:

"If you had to choose between sex with me or sex with a homeless man, which would you pick?"

"Your name must be Daisy, because I have the incredible urge to plant you right here!"

"My phone is dead, can I borrow yours?" (Text yourself, bam! you got her number)
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Offline Fuzzboy

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Re: ITT we post pickup lines
« Reply #34 on: March 15, 2013, 01:32:52 AM »
please please I have like... 40 dollars just please


works occasionaly
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