DTF: The Movie

[Sir GuitarCozmo]

And in his first cinematic appearance on the big-screen, Slash agrees to die his hair blond to tackle the role of SirGuitarCozmo

[lonestar]

This is a thread of the Gods I say.

[Dr. DTVT]

Damnit I wish I looked like someone famous still.  When I was younger and in shape I could pull off Bruce Campbell well enough to go as Ash to Halloween parties.

[hefdaddy42]

Chiklis is a great actor, but I'm pretty sure I'm taller and thinner than him.

But I can't think of anyone else to cast as me.  Other than Stone Cold Steve Austin.

[Dr. DTVT]

Yeah, but you can't improve upon perfection, so whoever plays you will be flawed in some way Hef.

[Lynxo]

So, who's directing this film? What's the plot?

[hefdaddy42]

The guy who directed Snakes on a Plane just died, so he's out.

[BlobVanDam]

So, who's directing this film? What's the plot?

Hey now, those are questions for marketing, nothing to concern yourself with.

Chiklis is a great actor, but I'm pretty sure I'm taller and thinner than him.

But I can't think of anyone else to cast as me.  Other than Stone Cold Steve Austin.

He would have been my #2 choice.

[TheSilentHam]

The ghost of Bea Arthur as Tick's lens flare:


And I really thought Trey Anastasio should play Sigz

[MrBoom_shack-a-lack]

Chiklis is a great actor, but I'm pretty sure I'm taller and thinner than him.

But I can't think of anyone else to cast as me.  Other than Stone Cold Steve Austin.

Dean Norris:


Qualifications: Mutant in Total Recall.

[hefdaddy42]

Can't see it.

[Sir GuitarCozmo]

The ghost of Bea Arthur as Tick's lens flare:

This is fucking genius.

[Ruba]

Can I be a tree? 

An oak or a maple?

[Tick]

Chiklis is a great actor, but I'm pretty sure I'm taller and thinner than him.

But I can't think of anyone else to cast as me.  Other than Stone Cold Steve Austin.

[Orbert]

SCENE 11

Exterior of a downtown row house.  A dark sedan pulls up.  Out step Bosk and Hef, wearing expensive suits and cheap cologne.  As Hef turns to close his door, his suit jacket opens slightly, revealing a large semiautomatic handgun.  They step quickly up the steps to the building and enter.

Lonestar is preparing breakfast in a well-stocked, ergonomically correct kitchen.  He moves calmly yet deliberately from the cutting board to the stove and back, adding ingredients to various pans, stirring things, etc.  He is wearing a chef's hat, apron, and nothing else.  Camera is positioned to take in most of the kitchen, a passthrough to the main living area, a hallway which presumably leads to one or more bedrooms, and Lonestar's excellent backside.

Camera positioned at the end of the hall shooting towards the main living area.  A female figure steps out from one of the rooms and walks away from the camera.  She is wearing a small loose-fitting T-shirt and panties.  She disappears into another room and closes the door.  We hear water running.

There is a knock at the door.  Lonestar quickly checks the various pans on the stove, then goes and answers the door.  It is Bosk and Hef.  They smile.  Lonestar does not.  They enter the apartment without saying a word, as Lonestar heads back to the kitchen.  He continues to prepare breakfast.

LONESTAR: You said Thursday.
BOSK: I know.
LONESTAR: It's only Tuesday.
BOSK: I know.

Lonestar stops what he's doing.  He looks through the passthrough into the living room, where Bosk and Hef have seated themselves on the couch.  Lonestar sighs.

LONESTAR: You're not going to make this easy for me, are you?
BOSK: Why should we?


to be continued...

[Sir GuitarCozmo]

SCENE 11

Exterior of a downtown row house.  A dark sedan pulls up.  Out step Bosk and Hef, wearing expensive suits and cheap cologne.  As Hef turns to close his door, his suit jacket opens slightly, revealing a large semiautomatic handgun.  They step quickly up the steps to the building and enter.

Lonestar is preparing breakfast in a well-stocked, ergonomically correct kitchen.  He moves calmly yet deliberately from the cutting board to the stove and back, adding ingredients to various pans, stirring things, etc.  He is wearing a chef's hat, apron, and nothing else.  Camera is positioned to take in most of the kitchen, a passthrough to the main living area, a hallway which presumably leads to one or more bedrooms, and Lonestar's excellent backside.

Camera positioned at the end of the hall shooting towards the main living area.  A female figure steps out from one of the rooms and walks away from the camera.  She is wearing a small loose-fitting T-shirt and panties.  Her face is obscured.  She disappears into another room and closes the door.  We hear water running.

There is a knock at the door.  Lonestar quickly checks the various pans on the stove, then goes and answers the door.  It is Bosk and Hef.  They smile.  Lonestar does not.  They enter the apartment without saying a word, as Lonestar heads back to the kitchen.  He continues to prepare breakfast.

LONESTAR: You said Thursday.
BOSK: I know.
LONESTAR: It's only Tuesday.
BOSK: I know.

Lonestar stops what he's doing.  He looks through the passthrough into the living room, where Bosk and Hef have seated themselves on the couch.  Lonestar sighs.

LONESTAR: You're not going to make this easy for me, are you?
BOSK: Why should we?


to be continued...

FTFY

[BlobVanDam]

[bosk1]

If this script somehow manages to incorporate a water gollum and bacon-induced hallucinations, I think it will at the very least be tied for most epic thing ever, with the very real possibility of pulling out the outright victory.

[Zook]

There must be ghosts and UFOs as well.

[Cedar redaC]

And a cameo of Chris Collins singing the Your Majesty loop.

[Cyclopssss]

_can everyone write?-

Scene 12.

BosK rolls up his sleeves slowly. Reveals two very large and colourful Japanese style tattoo´s.
Hefdaddy looks over, a small smile around his lips.

Lonestar: ´Look, you guys....´
Bosk: ´NOT so fast.....you owe us, remember?´

Lonestar: ´Can I just check on the food real quick? I´m cooking a very special meal for a very special lady....and I´d HATE to spoil it´

Hefdaddy: (looks at Bosk who nods very slowly) ´okay. Real quick.....but I´m watching....and stay away from those steak knives´ Lonestar starts to move across the kitchen, very leisurlely.

All of a sudden, there´s a flash across the room. In a super slowmotion replay, we see the bedroom door open, and a womanfigure darts out at speed and cartwheels across the room. Bosk has just anough time to turn his head a quarter of the way around before one of the woman´s high heels catch him square across the nose.  The blood flies out in slow motion and splatters across the near wall. In one movement (or so it seems) the woman has drawn a slim knife and has thrown it towards Hefdaddy, who anticipated something of the kind and throws himself behind the counter. Having come to a standstill, we now recognise the woman as Obscure.

[SomeoneLikeHim]

The plot thickens!

[Tick]

There must be ghosts and UFOs as well.

Will there be lens flare involved?

[Sir GuitarCozmo]

Mickey Rourke as Cyclopssss?

[hefdaddy42]

Seems out of character for me to hide behind a counter.

But proceed.

[Nekov]

I just found this thread and OMG

[lonestar]

He is wearing a chef's hat, apron, and nothing else.  Camera is positioned to take in most of the kitchen, a passthrough to the main living area, a hallway which presumably leads to one or more bedrooms, and Lonestar's excellent backside.

[Zook]

Is this a Showtime original movie?

[Cyclopssss]

Micky Roarke would do me fine, thank you! Can I be a bum? I´d love to be a bum!

[JayOctavarium]

I know there has to be a scene at a marina

[jammindude]

Am I too late??

Cause it's pretty obvious who plays The Dude...

I'll be drinking White Russians to each and every one of you in honor of the DTF movie.    (wow...I'm gonna be freakin plowed...)

[Orbert]

I specifically left out any mention of Obscure because she hasn't been cast yet.  Oh well.

[MrBoom_shack-a-lack]

Am I too late??

Cause it's pretty obvious who plays The Dude...

I'll be drinking White Russians to each and every one of you in honor of the DTF movie.    (wow...I'm gonna be freakin plowed...)

[jammindude]

A toast to you all...

[Cyclopssss]

Lemme check....



Julia Roberts as Obscure?