Oh, it's
this thread again. I get pretty heated about this kind of subject, primarily because I do have particular musical tastes, so I will try to be as respectful and understanding as possible.
:sigh:
So, I spent a part of this evening chatting with the younger brother of a friend of mine, he's a drummer just like me and was asking this and that about setting up the drumkit, technical advice and so on.... afterwards we had a chitchat about music and he had - for maybe the 500th time - the urge to tell me how much of a Metallica fanboy he is, that he owns almost all originals (except Load, lo and behold 
), he wants to visit almost only their concerts, that his band is influenced by Kill 'em all and Master of Puppets........
I stopped him and told him that he can't expect to become a great drummer and musician if his lonely influence is Lars U., that all great drummers named at least ten other drummers and fav bands as influences. He replies that he only wants to listen to older bands (and names ONLY Metallica, Pantera, Iron Maiden, AC/DC and Megadeth!); I showed him MP's "Sabian obsessed....." video and pointed out that if the great oldies fanboy MP may find dozens of new bands to listen to every year then he'd be a fool to stick to only ten bands (literally).....
In his opinion metal festivals are bullshit as he'd be bored for the biggest part of the day (sure, if you'd only know two bands on the bill....), new bands are total kick-in-the-junks ("they sound all the same!")....
Told him about a few bands which I like, emphasized, for instance Darkane, "they're a cool Swedish thrash metal band!" whereas he replies "Oh, Swedish thrash. That must totally sound cool! I listened to a Swedish band and really disliked them!"
I concluded that his point of view is full of prejudice and medieval and that he really ought to get out of his Metallica-decorated bedroom and listen to a few local bands and ask other people about musical recommendations before he dares to start another musical discussion with me.
OMG! Do you have that kind of people in your circle, how do you deal with them and do you think those persons punish themselves by avoiding so much awesome music that's out there?
I recently went to a festival in Hershey like the ones you describe. Seether, Puddle of Mudd, Three Days Grace, Fuel, etc. I went along because others wanted to go. For the most part, yes, is all sounds very similar to me. If I could've gotten close enough, I'd have liked to punch the guy from Seether in the nuts.
When I was 18 years old, I had a couple of bands that I raved about at any opportunity. Like most 18 year olds. Give the kid some time. His point of view is not prejudiced. Peoples' listening tastes mature as they do. Some faster than others.
I have very particular tastes in music, and everybody around here knows it. I am perfectly capable of appreciating music in all its forms if it's pleasing to my ears, I just choose to listen to a lot of the same stuff. Apparently that could have me labeled as prejudiced or boring. If my opinion is that it doesn't please my ears, I don't expect to be looked down upon for disagreeing with someone over it.
Different strokes for different folks. There are people who would think I'm a one trick pony because well over half of my music listening time over the last decade has been comprised of only 30-50 bands and there are also folks that would be shocked to know I have like 10,000 songs on my hard drive. Live and let live. Anyone can become great at anything even if their influence pool isn't as esoteric as some may deem acceptable.
If the dude's satisfied with the material he surrounds himself with and has no interest in what you're selling, you aren't doing him any favors by pushing the issue.
This, oh so very much this.
You're fighting a losing battle. Sounds like he is set in his ways and it will take him liking other stuff on his own for that to change, since he is likely to resist anyone trying to change what he sees as his impeccable tastes.
This is a good point. Also, as far as resisting, that works on both sides. OP's impeccable tastes are also called into question by an 18 year old with not a lot of musical experience, so the 18 year old must just not know what he's talking about.
I can't help but think that people who listen to limited music are kinda boring. They might be cool in other ways obviously, but since I can listen to so many music styles myself, I would feel kinda bored talking music with someone who only listens to a particular genre.
However, I do think there's a positive side as well. Since I listen to so much music myself, I find it that it's very easy for me to fit in and talk music with others. If the person listens to more "classic" metal, I can talk Metallica and Maiden for example, if he's into singer/songwriter I can talk about Tallest Man on Earth or Neil Young. Just an example.
Boring, party of one, right here.
It
is nice to be able to discuss a wider array of bands. I, personally, would find it equally boring to have to wade through so many different bands and genres and such. Give me what I like and I'm happy. If that makes me boring or uncultured or prejudiced or whatever, then it's a badge I'll wear proudly. As b_f said, different strokes and such.
In fact you're all right and I wasn't even trying to draw him onto my point of view. I'm not the guy who's walkin' the street and persuading people to do this and that. It was just a bit awkward to be hit by his fanboyism for the 5th or 6th time in a row while chatting and I just thought, well, why not give the guy a nice idea?
Okay, that's cool. Again, I guess it makes sense that the kid is 18 and has it bad for one band. He'll come around, eventually. Maybe suggest to him that one day, without realizing it, he WILL find himself looking for other influences and he'll be pleasantly surprised to find that his musical tastes WILL evolve and it'll be all the more helpful for his drumming.
My brother and sister are just like that - they are metalheads, strictly into clean vocaled but not too soft music, which limits them to a small heavy/power metal spectrum and nothing else. I've tried to get them into some music I like, but they will base their dislike on a genre tag, and they're completely oblivious to the concept of a grower - if they don't like the first minute of the first song of a band they play, I am not sure they would give it many more chances.
It is annoying and frustrating to me because they can't understand my habits in listening to music, and it was annoying and frustrating to me when I kept finding new bands that could accommodate even their strict and defined taste, and they would refuse to listen, out of sheer laziness, or just because of the fact that it was I who recommended something, since my music taste of course sucks and I listen to those yuck boring prog bands with 20 minute songs and awful growling and weirdness and gayness and whatever other descriptions they use. He's 25 and she's my twin so it's safe to say they will never grow out of it and that they'll become one of those people who refuse to listen to any new music claiming that in their time bands knew how it's done, and now they don't.
Their loss. And your brother's loss. Just play loud awesome music while he is around and let him comment on it or express any interest, and never let it look like you're recommending him something or asking him to listen to it because he might be too proud to admit he likes his bro's music 
A lot of folks around here are just as dismissive if the genre tag says "hair metal" or if the band's name is "Kiss". There is nothing inherently wrong with just NOT liking certain styles of music. If someone tries to play me a rap or a country song, I'm going to shut them down immediately and suggest that they not bother. We're always going to disagree on it. As annoyed and frustrated as you are that they're not interested in your music, is it possible that they're as frustrated and annoyed that you don't
seem to understand their habits in listening to music? I think your idea of not forcing it is great! To have it playing when they come around, instead of saying "Here, listen to this!" may allow them to hear it, without being MADE to listen to it. They'll be a lot more open to enjoying it under those circumstances. An excellent point.
What I really hate is when supposed friends disagree with your music taste to the extent that they use it to "win" any argument.
" Oh - you don't get a say in this because you like [insert band here]."
Well, to be fair, if you listen to Nickelback, I'm probably
going to use that argument.
Look, I get it, it's a big world and we all have different tastes in music. I have a hard time "getting" it that people are so into so many things I don't particularly care for. Just as well as people may not "get" my listening tastes any better. And that's fine. When this discussion comes up, it always feels like a person like me is less cultured, less refined, and less musically valid, because I have a smaller pool of music that I choose to swim in. I try to avoid turning that argument around on people and making them feel somehow lesser for being so very open-minded.
I really hope that this doesn't invite a bunch of criticism, because I'm really not trying to be an asshole, just trying to present a (rambling and incoherent) perspective from one of the few people here who DO fall into the "musically narrow-minded" category.
So again, how to handle your friend? Let him go and love Metallica. In a few years, he'll open up.
Topic: How to handle friends and acquaintances with a *very* narrow musical taste? (Read 4182 times)