"Don't judge me."

[KevShmev]

This seems to be a popular thing to say these days, especially when someone is telling others about something they did that may not have been very wise or whatever, and it's like, if anyone dares not agree with them, they pull out the "Don't judge me" line, like they want free reign to talk about all of the stupid things they did without any friends or family members advising them that maybe doing it wasn't the best thing they have ever done. 

Now, I am not saying we should all be the types of people who call out everyone we know every time they do something we disagree with...not at all.  I am not saying that at all.  I am just saying, it is astonishing how often people resort to that line nowadays.  An example of what I am talking about is an exchange I recently saw on facebook where someone (not a friend, but a friend of a friend, which I saw in that thing in the top right corner now) posted a status about how they probably shouldn't have driven home the previous night given how much they had to drink, and when someone innocently warned them about the dangers of drinking and driving, their only response was, "Don't judge me."

I guess nowadays, a lot of people want free reign to do every stupid thing they want, and if anyone dares call them out, then the other person is in the wrong for "judging" them.

[ReaPsTA]

This sounds like the easy answer, but it's also the correct answer.

Too many peoples' parents decide that "parenting" is responding to your child's transgressions by demeaning who they are as people.  Bad grades?  Maybe if you weren't lazy you would have done better.  Bad relationships in high school?  Maybe if you dated nice boys/girls you wouldn't have these problems.  No idea what you're doing with your life?  Maybe if you didn't waste all day playing around you'd know.  (Even better is when these kids grow up and their parents still do this)

When being treated like this is a normative part of someone's reality, they become hypersensitive to it.

Also, in that specific situatin, I'd note that no one ever posts something to Facebook for anything other than affirmation.  I'm not saying the person who posted the warning showed bad social skills or that the drunk driver was right to say don't judge me, just how the situation played out exactly how it could have been expected to.

[bosk1]

This thread is a stark reminder of the fact that, in my 8 years or so associated with these forums, I don't think there has ever been a time when I have half-way agreed with Kev on anything.  Ever.  Not once.  It is either complete 100% agreement or complete 100% disagreement.  There is no middle ground. 

In this case, I agree.

[Ħ]

Yes, as long as you qualify every stupid thing you do with "Don't judge me" or "Yolo", you have license to do whatever you want.

[Sigz]

I have never actually heard anyone I know use that or YOLO in a serious context before.

[bosk1]

I don't know what "YOLO" means, but I've heard "don't judge me" used in a serious context many times, and it is excruciating.

[Jaffa]

I don't know.  I think it depends on the context.  It sounds like the drunk driver on Facebook was using the phrase in the 'no, screw you, we don't need to talk about this, I'm fine' kind of way.  But the phrase itself is fairly innocuous.  I think most (or if not most, then at least a significant amount) of people using it are using it playfully, not to excuse themselves but sort of to make fun of themselves - "I like Justin Bieber.  There, I said it.  Don't judge me." 

So, while I understand your frustration with that particular Facebook example, I hope you don't develop a grudge and blacklist the phrase itself.  The attitude behind it can certainly be a problem, though. 

Sorry if I'm looking at this the wrong way, I just like words.  Don't judge me. 

Also, if I'm not mistaken, YOLO = you only live once.

[Sir GuitarCozmo]

I DID see t-shirts at the beach this year that said "Stop using YOLO as an excuse to act stupid."

[Jaq]

I don't have the problem with Don't Judge Me that I do with YOLO. You Only Live Once means "climb Mount Everest! Do something extraordinary." NOT "get shit faced drunk and post pictures on Facebook" or "buy a $30 purse." 

[KevShmev]

This thread is a stark reminder of the fact that, in my 8 years or so associated with these forums, I don't think there has ever been a time when I have half-way agreed with Kev on anything.  Ever.  Not once.  It is either complete 100% agreement or complete 100% disagreement.  There is no middle ground. 

In this case, I agree.

Haha.

I don't know.  I think it depends on the context.  It sounds like the drunk driver on Facebook was using the phrase in the 'no, screw you, we don't need to talk about this, I'm fine' kind of way.  But the phrase itself is fairly innocuous.  I think most (or if not most, then at least a significant amount) of people using it are using it playfully, not to excuse themselves but sort of to make fun of themselves - "I like Justin Bieber.  There, I said it.  Don't judge me." 

So, while I understand your frustration with that particular Facebook example, I hope you don't develop a grudge and blacklist the phrase itself.  The attitude behind it can certainly be a problem, though. 

Sorry if I'm looking at this the wrong way, I just like words.  Don't judge me. 

Also, if I'm not mistaken, YOLO = you only live once.

That was just one example.  I hear it used all of the time now, and most of the time, it comes across the way I put it in the thread-starting post.

[Sir GuitarCozmo]

I hope you don't develop a grudge and blacklist the phrase itself.

If he does, I might suggest that you refrain from judging him for it.

[ReaPsTA]

I said YOLO once and was rewarded by losing a huge Poker hand.

The words have never since left my mouth.

[KevShmev]

I hope you don't develop a grudge and blacklist the phrase itself.

If he does, I might suggest that you refrain from judging him for it.

 

Well-played.

[Jaffa]

That was just one example.  I hear it used all of the time now, and most of the time, it comes across the way I put it in the thread-starting post.

Fair enough.  I guess I'm just with Sigz in that I really don't see it used that way enough to see it that way. 

To me, the 'proper' context of the phrase is when someone says or does something they're vaguely embarrassed about, not something criminally stupid.  If people are using it in other contexts, they should stop being sillyheads. 

Anyway, carry on.

I hope you don't develop a grudge and blacklist the phrase itself.

If he does, I might suggest that you refrain from judging him for it.

[black_biff_stadler]

You Only Live Once means "climb Mount Everest! Do something extraordinary." NOT "get shit faced drunk and post pictures on Facebook" or "buy a $30 purse." 

$30 isn't much to spend on a purse and if it looks fabulous with your shoes yet you still pass on it, then frankly I think that's the action that's truly deserving of judgment.

[Ryzee]

"Judge not lest ye be judged yourself."

I assume that's from the Bible or something.  Sounds like it would be.  Old Testament probably yeah?

I don't really know- I got it from the Metallica song.

[Cedar redaC]

I don't know what "YOLO" means.

It's basically Carpe Diem if you don't know or care what Carpe Diem means.

[Implode]

I say YOLO before putting on my seatbelt.

[Ħ]

The original intent of YOLO was to be a "carpe diem" type motto, but I've only heard it in contexts of getting drunk and doing stupid things.

[Jaffa]

I propose an amendment.  Yolosybnfiu - you only live once, so you better not fuck it up. 

[Implode]

[Rob]

^ That shirt is hilarious. 

"YOLO" means "Drake is hot", nothing else.

What's strange is that in Germany, no one uses the expression "don't judge me" (the translation of it ). Never heard anyone say anything similar in daily language use.

[Cedar redaC]

"YOLO" means "Drake is hot", nothing else.

I would like to expand this to the entire "YMCMB" lineup. They seem to, as a whole, embody everything bad about rap.

[TioJorge]

Aside from what you mentioned, Kev, it's an ignorant statement on it's own. There isn't a single human on Earth that does not judge, and there is not a single moment in which we are not being judged by others. The one's chanting "YOLO!" (which sounds downright...cunt-y) and the one's pleading to not be judged are the ones that need it the most, I think. A 'take a look in the mirror' moment, if that makes any sense...I'm coming off of a hangover (YOLO YA CHOLO! YOU DUN KNOW ME!). None of it holds any water.


I'm ready to be judged. And then I fart.

[nightmare_cinema]

I think it's just one of those phrases that have crept into every day use (especially online) and have become essentially meaningless. All it means to me is 'I'm about to disclose something potentially silly/stupid/embarassing' and it often isn't really any of those things. I've never seen it used in the context of a serious offence or crime, just shit like how someone just ate a whole tub of ice cream or something. Can't say it especially bothers me!

[Ħ]

There isn't a single human on Earth that does not judge, and there is not a single moment in which we are not being judged by others.

Depends on what you mean by "judge". If you mean that no one can ignore their susceptibility to subconscious first impressions, then you're probably right. But that doesn't mean they're aren't people that don't actively judge with the forefront of their minds.

[Scrub206]

I say "don't judge me" all the time jokingly.

[TioJorge]

There isn't a single human on Earth that does not judge, and there is not a single moment in which we are not being judged by others.

Depends on what you mean by "judge". If you mean that no one can ignore their susceptibility to subconscious first impressions, then you're probably right. But that doesn't mean they're aren't people that don't actively judge with the forefront of their minds.

Yeah, I didn't necessarily mean the latter, but that it's in our nature to..."size-up" (for an utter lack of my brain-mush grabbing another word) someone, especially those we don't know very well.

Mainly I just think it's an empty saying uttered by those who are fearful of just that; it's kind of asking for it by saying it.

[theseoafs]

In my experience, I've never heard a person use this phrase seriously -- like, if someone has a guilty pleasure band and they're telling a group of people that they like them, then they might throw out a "don't judge me" as a joke.  I've never heard anybody say that to justify something that's actually bad or reprehensible.

[black_biff_stadler]

There isn't a single human on Earth that does not judge, and there is not a single moment in which we are not being judged by others.

Depends on what you mean by "judge". If you mean that no one can ignore their susceptibility to subconscious first impressions, then you're probably right. But that doesn't mean they're aren't people that don't actively judge with the forefront of their minds.

Yeah, I didn't necessarily mean the latter, but that it's in our nature to..."size-up" (for an utter lack of my brain-mush grabbing another word) someone, especially those we don't know very well.

Mainly I just think it's an empty saying uttered by those who are fearful of just that; it's kind of asking for it by saying it.

I agree. Just like those who brood in their FB statuses just to say "I don't wanna talk about it" to everyone who asks what's wrong. Or also those who say "I'm not about drama" as one of the first few sentences out of their mouth (or in a profile description on a website) which is almost a fail-safe smoking gun that they live for drama.

[KevShmev]

I say "don't judge me" all the time jokingly.

This makes you a part of the problem!




 

[Tick]

I'm very opinionated and I often get misinterpreted as being angry when I'm really not. Adami said something a few weeks ago that stuck with me. He adjusted his personality on the forums because he felt misunderstood. I have tried to do the same.

[PuffyPat]

JUDGED.

[Adami]

I'm very opinionated and I often get misinterpreted as being angry when I'm really not. Adami said something a few weeks ago that stuck with me. He adjusted his personality on the forums because he felt misunderstood. I have tried to do the same.

CALM DOWN DUDE!!!!!!!!!!!!

[bout to crash]

Like others have said, I usually hear it in the context of joking around about something potentially embarrassing. This can be funny... but if it's being used like in the OP, stupid. I've also heard it from people who may have unusual and/or "deviant" interests/hobbies/lifestyles. Like "Don't judge me, but I enjoy being tied to a stove while a woman throws tomatoes at me. So what??"