The problem is that I never like the stuff I come up with. I mean, it's all very clever, and I think it sounds alright. But I'm too close to it. It may sound alright, but while other people hear music, I just hear something that was written by someone trying to be clever and write something that sounds alright. I know from experience that certain chord changes sound pretty cool, but if I work that into the composition, then it's not real anymore. It's just something that was included because it sounds cool. Everything I do is like that. Sure, people say it sounds good (not bragging, just giving the situation) but I know it's just a bunch of stuff made up to sound good. It's not real.
I know this feeling. I was this way for several years when I started writing. I was forever saying to myself, "Oh this sounds good, I need to put this in." Songs became vehicles for those cool parts, not necessarily
songs. However, with further development, that "stuff made up to sound good" becomes integrated and encompassing of the entire song. Looking at the song from the macro level helps this I believe. What do I want from this song? Where is it going and what purpose does it have? What do I want to feel and want it to feel?
As limiting (and boring) as it is sometimes, I find the Intro-Verse-Chorus structure often focuses the mind on that. The desire should be to make each section as good as possible (and achieve the message or sound desired)
and also to make each section fit. Before you know it: song. And all those cool parts are there too, because you naturally put them in.
I guess. I think I've always had some trouble accepting my own music. I can cook stuff and like to get feedback. I can write stuff that I think is pretty good, and I like to share it and get feedback. But music is different somehow. No matter how many times I'm told that people like what I can do, inside I can't help but think that I've pulled something over on them.
Writing is something I can do, but I have to think about it, and sometimes it comes out pretty good. Same with cooking, or programming, or teaching, or any of a dozen other things I can do. I can do it, even do it well, but I have to think about it. But a musician is what I am. I don't usually think about it; it just happens. I can be stoned out of my mind or drunk off of my ass, to the point where I don't even remember the gig, and what comes out of my fingers will still blow people away. I've heard the recordings, seen the video. Heck, if I start thinking too much about what I'm doing, I screw it up. I'm usually better off not thinking about it and just letting instinct take over. It's not me; it's coming from somewhere else. Call it a gift from God, something in my genes, or whatever, but it's not me.
I'll sit down at a piano and just start playing (I listened to a lot of Keith Jarrett when I was younger) and people go "Wow, what is that?" and it's nothing; I'm just messing around, letting my fingers have some fun. It's not real. I've had people tell me that if I ever recorded an album, they'd buy it (again not bragging, just saying) and that's flattering, but it's also embarassing. It's not me. My fingers, my brain, but somehow I don't feel like I'm the one who created it.
I think we are similar in terms of music, becuase wow do I know that feeling. There have been times, hanging around with friends around the piano, and they are working their way through jazz changes or classical pieces like it was nothing, I sit down, just start playing like you say, and get the same reaction you do. And I just think to myself and say, "Yeah I don't even really know what I am doing. I'm not even thinking about it."
The thing is, it is you who created it. It is a gift, and a great one I think. It is a natural, creative way of writing music. From what it sounds like, you would be better served not thinking about it. Forget chords and progressions and structures, close your eyes, use your ears and write what you want. What I always say is, "Make the music you want to make, the music you want to hear."
Yes, it is impossible to tell where it comes from, but in the end it comes from you. I love that feeling, that I don't know how I came up with something, but I love the way it sounds and is exactly what I wanted to hear. One of the hardest parts of writing is getting what is in your head, out. It is the absolute best when it just comes to you. There are many people I have known that can't do that that wish they could, and when they have to write music they have to sit down and scratch it out. Some prefer the latter method and get the best results that way. The key is, use what works for you. From what it sounds like, you do it naturally, you just need to accept the music you write.
It took me years of writing and many songs before I began to accept my music, and still more years after that before I would stop getting upset at myself because it didn't sound as good as the professionals. Finally, after many many songs (I don't even know how many) I am to the point where I enjoy what I write. Not all the time. Like any other person, I write some things and then later think it is total rubbish. But I have also written things that I really love listening to, and will listen alongside any other artist. Not that I am saying it is as good as any professional (I won't judge that myself), but that I can listen to it like any other song and really enjoy it.
In the end, keep at it! From your description it sounds like you are a natural, so take advantage of that and write a ton!
Topic: All musicians unite! - The Musicians Chat Thread (Read 303245 times)
