So we did the children's play at church, and it was, as always, a success. Come on, it's not the most demanding audience. But I played the piano for the songs, and also led the "youth ensemble" in a modified arrangement of the Christmas medley I'd done for the praise band two years ago. It was great. Somehow, word got out that it was my arrangement, and people were all over me after the service, telling me how much they liked it, so that was cool. Someone even sent me a card completely raving about what a great ministry it is for the kids to have someone to guide them give their talents an opportunity to shine like that.
That actually surprised me, and made me think. I'm by nature a selfish person. I like to play because I like to play. I'm a showoff, an attention junkie. Yes, I get off on other people enjoying it, but I've never quite figured out if making them happy is what I like, or I just get off on the attention and acclaim. I don't know; maybe it's the same thing. But what I hadn't really thought about was the opportunity I'm giving the kids. I've thought of them as extensions of their instruments. I got to arrange a piece for flute, clarinet, violin, viola, piano, and guitar. A weird, unique ensemble, and a fun challenge. I was glad to have the opportunity to do it, and glad that there were kids who wanted to play, but I never thought about how they, as musicians, benefit so much from doing something like this. And it seemed weird to me that that had never even occurred to me before, and that's why I know that I'm really doing this out of selfishness. I love it when people love my work, but I'm still not doing it
for them; I'm doing it for me, for the rush I get from the applause. That's kinda fucked up, I think.
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And of course, the latest news on Orbert's band.
Anne, the potential new singer who for two months now, on and off, has supposedly been trying to set up an audition with us, and us with her, sent John a text saying that they really need to talk. Yeah, so that sounds ominous. They talk, and she's completely on the fence about this whole thing. She doesn't like to disappoint people, and she doesn't really handle change well. Sure, her current band isn't great, but they have fun and they do get some gigs, and that's okay with her. Apparently all the reasons she wanted to quit are no longer relevant. So why is she even calling? What, just to vent?
John has had about enough of this, and he also wants her for our band, so he tells her that really, she needs to decide what she wants to do. Does she want to audition with us or not? Does she really want to stay with a band that pushes her aside for some spazz with a flute and not even see if the grass is any greener elsewhere? (Basically, shit or get off the pot, honey.) She finally decides that she should at least audition with us. Well, damned right she should!
Except she's still supposedly fighting off whatever bug has invaded her body and won't leave. And even if she auditions with us, we don't know if we're any closer to stealing her from her current lame band.
In other news, Mike and Karen's New Year's Eve Jam is coming up again. They host a big jam every New Year's Eve at their house and invite all their friends, which includes a lot of musicians since they've played in a lot of bands and count all of them as friends. I've been invited every year for four or five years now, but we always got together with our friends and I couldn't do it. Last year, the female half of the other couple (who is also named Karen) got sick, so our plans were cancelled and I was free to go jam. Yay! Except we got a foot of snow that night, starting at around 6:00, so I stayed home after all.
So anyway, our band, Oh Zone, was invited, either individually or as a band. Since we just got a new bassist and still don't have a singer, Mike said he and/or Karen would be happy to jump in a fill things out. It's just gonna be a bunch of musicians forming various groups and subgroups and playing songs. I'm looking forward to it. I want to jam. I just want to play.