Author Topic: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000  (Read 9082 times)

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Offline Tick

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #70 on: August 20, 2012, 03:13:22 PM »



It was funny, though, how the minute people found out we were engaged they became "gollums" obsessed over seeing the ring. Especially the woman :P
That is pathetic.
I paid 1,000 for my wife's ring in 94. It was appraised at 2,000. My wife still absolutely loves her ring 18 years later. Money can't buy a good marriage.
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Offline eric42434224

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #71 on: August 20, 2012, 03:29:20 PM »



It was funny, though, how the minute people found out we were engaged they became "gollums" obsessed over seeing the ring. Especially the woman :P
That is pathetic.
I paid 1,000 for my wife's ring in 94. It was appraised at 2,000. My wife still absolutely loves her ring 18 years later. Money can't buy a good marriage.

I am pretty sure not one single person has equated the price of the ring to the quality of the marriage.

Also, if we want to be honest here, I doubt a good woman would tell their husband they didn't like their ring.
I think the golf shirt my wife gave me is ugly.  I say I love it and make sure to wear it once a month.
You think your wife is going to say she would have much rather had a different cut or setting?

The point is it doesn't matter.  It has nothing to do with the quality of a marriage, or the size of ones love.
It is a gift of love, and as such, it shouldn't be judged on its size/value....big or small.

So....no....it isn't pathetic. 
« Last Edit: August 20, 2012, 03:58:46 PM by eric42434224 »
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Offline rumborak

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #72 on: August 20, 2012, 04:54:48 PM »
Ok, just about every person in this thread has proclaimed they got a "special deal" on their ring, getting it for much less than the official price.

I can only conclude that you guys have all been duped :lol
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Offline bosk1

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #73 on: August 20, 2012, 04:58:11 PM »
I am pretty sure not one single person has equated the price of the ring to the quality of the marriage.

Nobody who has posted here has.  But sadly, there are MANY misguided souls out there that do.


I can only conclude that you guys have all been duped :lol

:lol  Glad I didn't mention the "special deal" I got then.  But in my case, my mom sells diamonds for a living, and I KNOW she charged me below retail for it.
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Offline eric42434224

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #74 on: August 20, 2012, 05:02:48 PM »
I am pretty sure not one single person has equated the price of the ring to the quality of the marriage.

Nobody who has posted here has.  But sadly, there are MANY misguided souls out there that do.


I can only conclude that you guys have all been duped :lol

:lol  Glad I didn't mention the "special deal" I got then.  But in my case, my mom sells diamonds for a living, and I KNOW she charged me below retail for it.

I dont think many people equate the quality of the ring will equate to a quality marriage.  I think too many people think that: marriage will miraculously fix issues in the relationship; and/or the marriage will be great just because, and not require a lot of work.  I dont think many factor in the price of a ring or wedding when thinking of a marriages future success.
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Offline Tick

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #75 on: August 20, 2012, 05:10:34 PM »



It was funny, though, how the minute people found out we were engaged they became "gollums" obsessed over seeing the ring. Especially the woman :P
That is pathetic.
I paid 1,000 for my wife's ring in 94. It was appraised at 2,000. My wife still absolutely loves her ring 18 years later. Money can't buy a good marriage.

I am pretty sure not one single person has equated the price of the ring to the quality of the marriage.

Also, if we want to be honest here, I doubt a good woman would tell their husband they didn't like their ring.
I think the golf shirt my wife gave me is ugly.  I say I love it and make sure to wear it once a month.
You think your wife is going to say she would have much rather had a different cut or setting?

The point is it doesn't matter.  It has nothing to do with the quality of a marriage, or the size of ones love.
It is a gift of love, and as such, it shouldn't be judged on its size/value....big or small.

So....no....it isn't pathetic.
Relax Eric, please!
Sentence 1 pertained to the sentence I quoted.
Sentence 2 pertained to my own personal experience. The last sentence is just a statement about those who marry for monetary possessions. Some do, and that was all I was pointing out.
 Easy does it. This isn't politics. Do not go on the attack. Geez.
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Offline Tick

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #76 on: August 20, 2012, 05:12:28 PM »
Ok, just about every person in this thread has proclaimed they got a "special deal" on their ring, getting it for much less than the official price.

I can only conclude that you guys have all been duped :lol
Since your conclusions are often wrong, we can all rest easy.  :lol
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Offline yorost

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #77 on: August 20, 2012, 05:19:33 PM »
Ok, just about every person in this thread has proclaimed they got a "special deal" on their ring, getting it for much less than the official price.

I can only conclude that you guys have all been duped :lol
I brought that point up, already, asking if anyone actually paid close to their appraisal value.  Look back, someone pointed out they had friends that at least did.  The appraisal value is just a markup, I guess it's that high partly to make people not feel cheated in the event they really got ripped off.  I don't believe in the deal aspect of it, it's just shopping, you're looking for the best price you can get, if you don't shop around you probably aren't getting it no matter what you're told.

Offline eric42434224

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #78 on: August 20, 2012, 05:22:03 PM »



It was funny, though, how the minute people found out we were engaged they became "gollums" obsessed over seeing the ring. Especially the woman :P
That is pathetic.
I paid 1,000 for my wife's ring in 94. It was appraised at 2,000. My wife still absolutely loves her ring 18 years later. Money can't buy a good marriage.

I am pretty sure not one single person has equated the price of the ring to the quality of the marriage.

Also, if we want to be honest here, I doubt a good woman would tell their husband they didn't like their ring.
I think the golf shirt my wife gave me is ugly.  I say I love it and make sure to wear it once a month.
You think your wife is going to say she would have much rather had a different cut or setting?

The point is it doesn't matter.  It has nothing to do with the quality of a marriage, or the size of ones love.
It is a gift of love, and as such, it shouldn't be judged on its size/value....big or small.

So....no....it isn't pathetic.
Relax Eric, please!
Sentence 1 pertained to the sentence I quoted.
Sentence 2 pertained to my own personal experience. The last sentence is just a statement about those who marry for monetary possessions. Some do, and that was all I was pointing out.
 Easy does it. This isn't politics. Do not go on the attack. Geez.

Im not sure why you would characterize my response as an attack.  Perhaps it is because you are attacked a lot on this forum?  Not sure.  My response was simply expressing my point of view in response to yours.
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Offline rumborak

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #79 on: August 20, 2012, 05:24:47 PM »
Ok, just about every person in this thread has proclaimed they got a "special deal" on their ring, getting it for much less than the official price.

I can only conclude that you guys have all been duped :lol
Since your conclusions are often wrong, we can all rest easy.  :lol

Ooh, hidden double negative in the post. Tricky!
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Offline ThatcrazyKISSfan

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #80 on: August 20, 2012, 07:22:41 PM »
Gotta love a country where couples are expected to begin their marriages by incurring crippling debt. 
Same with weddings.  It's amazing the weddings I've been to that easily cost >30 or 40k, then the couple mortgages the most expensive house they can afford, and are living paycheck to paycheck to pay for all that plus their 2 financed cars.  Then we hear about the high cost of living "these days".  Anecdotally speaking, this is the norm, since I get chastized and called cheap when I talk like this in front of most people.

Yeah, and even a "cheap" wedding still runs north of 5k correct? I've never been married, so I'll ask you guys....those who have had weddings.....was it worth it?  I think I'd rather elope and spend the extra money on the honeymoon.

Offline hefdaddy42

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #81 on: August 20, 2012, 07:23:27 PM »
We didn't spend anywhere near $5,000 on our wedding, and it was still memorable, and everyone had a great time.
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Offline cramx3

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #82 on: August 20, 2012, 07:28:40 PM »
I am recently engaged and I spent 5200 on the ring and wedding band. A bit less than the "three months salary" standardand significantly less than my sisters and my mothers , but I don't think I could have spent more and been happier. The ring is perfect and I felt it was a perfect price.

Offline yorost

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #83 on: August 20, 2012, 07:31:58 PM »
We didn't spend anywhere near $5,000 on our wedding, and it was still memorable, and everyone had a great time.
Same with us, except for the rings, the wedding, reception, and rehearsal topped out well below $5000 combined.  We still get told by many of our guests how much they loved how we did our wedding.  It was very easy to come up with a memorable wedding without all the costs.  I think some people really hurt themselves by feeling they have so many people they have to invite.

Offline eric42434224

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #84 on: August 20, 2012, 07:35:52 PM »
I didn't pay for my wedding....the in-laws did.  They planned the whole thing (it was in Boston, and we were living in Florida).  They paid well over $60,000.
It was at Braeburn Country Club in Newton, MA.  https://www.braeburngolf.com/club/scripts/public/public.asp?GRP=15474&NS=PUBLIC
The dinner was lobster bisque and filet mignon...and open bar with all top shelf.  Very nice.
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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #85 on: August 20, 2012, 07:38:51 PM »
I'd rather take a couple of witnesses to the JP and spend the money we would've spent on the wedding on a MOTHER of an after party.

Offline yorost

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #86 on: August 20, 2012, 07:43:44 PM »
I think it's pretty normal that the majority of the cost IS the after party.  You can get married in picturesque places for very little money, cost cutting on the actual wedding ceremony without otherwise degrading it is incredibly easy.

Offline eric42434224

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #87 on: August 20, 2012, 07:45:35 PM »
I think it's pretty normal that the majority of the cost IS the after party.  You can get married in picturesque places for very little money, cost cutting on the actual wedding ceremony without otherwise degrading it is incredibly easy.

Absolutely.  The church wedding didn't cost anything.  The 60k was all for the reception.
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Offline yorost

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #88 on: August 20, 2012, 08:02:46 PM »
We did a nice compromise to have free alcohol without the expensive open bar policy.  The restaurant we had our reception at got two quarter barrels of local craft beer and 6 bottles of wine of our choosing.  That was all free to our guests, but anything else they had to pay for.

Offline Tick

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #89 on: August 21, 2012, 05:34:31 AM »
I didn't pay for my wedding....the in-laws did.  They planned the whole thing (it was in Boston, and we were living in Florida).  They paid well over $60,000.
It was at Braeburn Country Club in Newton, MA.  https://www.braeburngolf.com/club/scripts/public/public.asp?GRP=15474&NS=PUBLIC
The dinner was lobster bisque and filet mignon...and open bar with all top shelf.  Very nice.
60 k??? Wow!!! :omg:
That must have been the fashizzle!
My in laws spent 10 grand on mine and it was a waterfront restaurant with an outdoor patio and open bar. Your in laws are pretty well off I guess, eh?
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Offline wolfandwolfandwolf

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #90 on: August 21, 2012, 06:02:35 AM »
Ok, just about every person in this thread has proclaimed they got a "special deal" on their ring, getting it for much less than the official price.

I can only conclude that you guys have all been duped :lol
I was thinking the same right when I posted that.  I have a hard time thinking that somehow the price I got was "special" whenever everyone seems to get their price "special" as well.

I will say this, and I had to learn this the hard way, no real advice from anyone before I went shopping - when you tell a dealer your budget, you can almost always expect them to go on the high end and go about 100 dollars over it.

Offline jasc15

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #91 on: August 21, 2012, 07:02:52 AM »
Ok, just about every person in this thread has proclaimed they got a "special deal" on their ring, getting it for much less than the official price.

I can only conclude that you guys have all been duped :lol
I bought some diamond earrings for my girlfriend last year, and the very place that sold them to me appraised them for 25% more than I just paid for them.  I was like ??? Something was funny there, so I didnt pay much attention to the appraised value.  I'm sure its all part of salesmanship.

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #92 on: August 21, 2012, 07:32:57 AM »
I am recently engaged and I spent 5200 on the ring and wedding band. A bit less than the "three months salary" standardand significantly less than my sisters and my mothers , but I don't think I could have spent more and been happier. The ring is perfect and I felt it was a perfect price.

Wait...when did this become "three months salary"?  I remember the advertisements when I was in HS talking about two months salary.  When will the diamond industry try to make it four months salary?

     

Offline lordxizor

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #93 on: August 21, 2012, 06:47:59 PM »
Yeah, and even a "cheap" wedding still runs north of 5k correct? I've never been married, so I'll ask you guys....those who have had weddings.....was it worth it?  I think I'd rather elope and spend the extra money on the honeymoon.
I loved our wedding. I think it cost around $12k, but I honestly don't know because I didn't pay for much myself. However, in retrospect, I would have a done a much smaller ceremony and had a smaller, more intimate party afterward.

Offline rumborak

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #94 on: August 21, 2012, 07:03:07 PM »
The friend of mine who paid way more than 5k was complaining about that. Apparently his mother-in-law is in charge of the invitations, and he was saying he won't know the majority of the people attending the wedding. That just sounds wrong.
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Offline orcus116

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #95 on: August 21, 2012, 07:13:04 PM »
Sounds like it's more an event for her than for them as a couple.

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #96 on: August 21, 2012, 08:14:09 PM »
The friend of mine who paid way more than 5k was complaining about that. Apparently his mother-in-law is in charge of the invitations, and he was saying he won't know the majority of the people attending the wedding. That just sounds wrong.

Parents do that.  Adding people you don't remember as a kid.  I got the line from my mom, "I have to invite so and so!"
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Offline lordxizor

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #97 on: August 21, 2012, 08:38:18 PM »
When the parents are paying for 90% of the wedding, it's pretty hard to tell them that they can't invite their friends.

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #98 on: August 21, 2012, 08:41:24 PM »
I guess, but it's still selfish.
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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #99 on: August 21, 2012, 08:53:04 PM »
Yeah. Like, sure you're offering to pay for the wedding, but if you just take over and do it the way you want to you're essentially making it your own party, which entirely defeats the purpose.
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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #100 on: August 21, 2012, 08:56:52 PM »
Seriously. There's two major problems (at least):

1. The parents feeling entitled to prioritize their wishes ahead of the couples becuase they're the ones paying. If covering the expenses or a big chunk of it makes you feel entitled to do this, the intent of your gesture is clearly rooted in the wrong place.

2. The parents feeling it's more important to haphazardly navigate the rough seas of their friends' bullshit politics than it is to make it the best wedding possible for the kids.

Edit: Yeah what Sigz said.
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Offline TempusVox

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #101 on: August 21, 2012, 09:25:18 PM »
The best advice I think I could ever give anyone is when buying a diamond ring...NEVER, never, never buy it at a jewelry store. Instead, find a diamond broker in your town and buy it there. Jewelry stores typically sell crap to the masses. It's nearly always over priced. Walk into any jewelry store and look up. Track lighting is everyhwere. Track lighting makes everything sparkle. Also, most engagement rings are already in the setting. They do this to hide yellowing in poor stones. If you are going to make the investment, get a nice loose, high quality stone from a broker and have them set it. Go quality over quantity. Get something she can proudly pass on to her grandkids, or great grandkids someday. Don't get sucked into the bullshit jewelry stores dish out.

When I was a young man and was getting engaged for the first time, a friend turned me onto a broker in my town. His office was in a high rise building, with no advertising of any kind, yet he had been in business for over 30 years. I walked in and he gave me a diamond tutorial for about an hour. We walked into a room with track lights overhead. He took a loose stone and placed it in a setting and carefully handed it to me. "Look at this one", he said. "See how it shines?" And it did. Under the light it sparkled like crazy and the ring was gorgeous in the setting.  "You like this one?" he asked. "Yes..its beautiful." I answered. He then carefully took it from me and dropped the diamond onto a blank piece of white copy paper. The diamond was nearly as yellow as a crayon, and it was cloudy. He turned off the track lights and it stopped sparkling too. "How about now?" he asked.

Any diamond broker worth his salt should be able to do the same for you. They can save you thousands. My ex wife got a smaller stone than many of her friends, but damnit she and I knew that her stone was a perfect, museum quality diamond. In fact she has since remarried, but plans to offer the stone someday to my sons bride should he every get married.
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Offline orcus116

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #102 on: August 21, 2012, 09:25:54 PM »
Seriously. There's two major problems (at least):

1. The parents feeling entitled to prioritize their wishes ahead of the couples becuase they're the ones paying. If covering the expenses or a big chunk of it makes you feel entitled to do this, the intent of your gesture is clearly rooted in the wrong place.

2. The parents feeling it's more important to haphazardly navigate the rough seas of their friends' bullshit politics than it is to make it the best wedding possible for the kids.

Edit: Yeah what Sigz said.

I just remember back to my high school graduation party where I made some joke about the lack of food the caterers brought which prompted my mom to angrily state "This isn't a party for you. This is a party for me." I normally but have nothing ever bad to say about my mom but it really stuck with me that more often than not when it comes to bigger events, probably moreso with women than men, it's a bigger, show-offy check off a list of life goals for the parents than the people actually involved.

Makes me want to have a celebration more geared towards my close friends than family, as shitty as that sounds.

Offline yorost

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #103 on: August 21, 2012, 09:46:20 PM »
Not shitty to me, a great idea, our wedding was primarily good friends.  We've been very complimented for it.

Even paying for our own wedding my mom kept telling us people we had to invite.  We just told her no.  In the end we even had an aunt, who was not yet invited to the wedding, assume she was a guest even for the rehearsal.  That was some awkward fights with mom, getting her to confront her sister about it.  Luckily, trust me on that, she did not come to the rehearsal, but we eventually did invite the aunts and uncles to the wedding.  FYI, about 30 guests total, aunts and uncles were like first alternates. :lol

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Re: Average engagement ring costs > $5,000
« Reply #104 on: August 21, 2012, 09:55:30 PM »
Seriously. There's two major problems (at least):

1. The parents feeling entitled to prioritize their wishes ahead of the couples becuase they're the ones paying. If covering the expenses or a big chunk of it makes you feel entitled to do this, the intent of your gesture is clearly rooted in the wrong place.

2. The parents feeling it's more important to haphazardly navigate the rough seas of their friends' bullshit politics than it is to make it the best wedding possible for the kids.

Edit: Yeah what Sigz said.

I just remember back to my high school graduation party where I made some joke about the lack of food the caterers brought which prompted my mom to angrily state "This isn't a party for you. This is a party for me." I normally but have nothing ever bad to say about my mom but it really stuck with me that more often than not when it comes to bigger events, probably moreso with women than men, it's a bigger, show-offy check off a list of life goals for the parents than the people actually involved.

My parents said the same thing about my graduation. And frankly, that really doesn't bother me, primarily because my high school graduation meant fuckall to me - I mean come on, it's high school FFS. But if it was something actually important to me, like a wedding, I'd be pretty fucking pissed if they co-opted it to fulfill whatever their bullshit desires were for it.
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