Average engagement ring costs > $5,000

[rumborak]

Customs are definitely quite different around the globe. Women in Europe wear rings on the opposite hand than in the US, which to this day makes it confusing as fuck.

[Dr. DTVT]

Fuck the 2 month salary rule.  I'm not dishing $10k+ for a ring on principle.  I might go with the two week rule.  Check that, the two box of cracker jack rule.

[Neon]

I don't understand what the obsession is with engagement rings- in my opinion they are such a waste of money...but I guess to each his own, right? 

For the few serious boyfriends that I have had, whenever the subject of rings came up, I told them that I'd be really friggen mad if they spent that much money on a ring.  And certainly not that I wouldn't appreciate it...it's just that...well for one thing I'm not really much into "blingy" jewelry...I have a ton of gold jewelry with various gemstones that my parents have given me over the years that I literally NEVER wear. 

I'd much rather you get a $50 silver piece from the renaissance faire or something (way more my style) and let us take that extra $4950 and do one of two things:  1) Save it for...whatever, or 2)  Have the most bitchin' European honeymoon possible.   

[theseoafs]

You guys can get it at www.makethecuntsuffer.com

One day, a fetish porn site will be opened at that domain.

On that day, I will report this post.

[yorost]

It'll certainly be amusing when you realize you left the link in your quote and get yourself banned, too.

[DebraKadabra]

I don't understand what the obsession is with engagement rings- in my opinion they are such a waste of money...but I guess to each his own, right? 

For the few serious boyfriends that I have had, whenever the subject of rings came up, I told them that I'd be really friggen mad if they spent that much money on a ring.  And certainly not that I wouldn't appreciate it...it's just that...well for one thing I'm not really much into "blingy" jewelry...I have a ton of gold jewelry with various gemstones that my parents have given me over the years that I literally NEVER wear. 

I'd much rather you get a $50 silver piece from the renaissance faire or something (way more my style) and let us take that extra $4950 and do one of two things:  1) Save it for...whatever, or 2)  Have the most bitchin' European honeymoon possible.

Damn skippy, girl.

[ThatcrazyKISSfan]

I don't understand what the obsession is with engagement rings- in my opinion they are such a waste of money...but I guess to each his own, right? 

For the few serious boyfriends that I have had, whenever the subject of rings came up, I told them that I'd be really friggen mad if they spent that much money on a ring.  And certainly not that I wouldn't appreciate it...it's just that...well for one thing I'm not really much into "blingy" jewelry...I have a ton of gold jewelry with various gemstones that my parents have given me over the years that I literally NEVER wear. 

I'd much rather you get a $50 silver piece from the renaissance faire or something (way more my style) and let us take that extra $4950 and do one of two things:  1) Save it for...whatever, or 2)  Have the most bitchin' European honeymoon possible.

Marry me!

[hefdaddy42]

I bought my wife's engagement ring for around $600.00.  I was still in college at the time, and she was ecstatic with it.

Yes, she still wears it, along with her wedding band.  We didn't go nuts with those either.

[black_biff_stadler]

All this talk about the wildly huge range of prices and attitudes regarding those prices makes me REALLY hope that the future Mrs. _floyd shares my attitude that the price of the ring should have zero bearing over the purchase and also that it shouldn't be a penny more than what I can comfortably afford. I'd really hate to see something so bogusly influenced and perpetuated by pretentious tradition become a point of contention in a serious relationship for me.

[yorost]

Be careful what you wish for, at that time you might be able to afford more than you think, and with price thrown out the window you also lose a budget cap as protection.  As I have vouched, choosing platinum for its strength and limited care certainly attacks the wallet.

[black_biff_stadler]

Nonsense. I'll relax my standards and propose with an onion ring like Homer did with Marge.

[Sir GuitarCozmo]

Even more stupid.  Mrs. C. watches shows like "Say Yes to the Dress" and both of us sit there aghast sometimes at the prices people will pay for a wedding dress.  We saw one the other day where a chick had decided on a $34,000 wedding dress.  If you pay that much money for a wedding dress, then you are a self-absorbed attention whore.

[King Postwhore]

My wife bought her wedding dress for $275.00 at a consignment shop.  Smart girl.

[kirksnosehair]

The thing I don't get is, I mean this ring will be worn for about a year and then is useless, right? I could understand spending a good chunk on a wedding ring that you're gonna wear for the rest of your life, but for a one-year item that has almost zero resale value it's ridiculous to drop 5k.

Er, my wife still wears her engagement ring and we've been married since 2000.    As far as the resale value goes, I'm not even sure why that would be a consideration when you are buying something for the person you intend to spend the rest of your life with?  It certainly wasn't a consideration for me.

[hefdaddy42]

My wife bought her wedding dress for $275.00 at a consignment shop.  Smart girl.

My wife's was along those lines as well.

We figured, no reason to throw money we can't afford on stuff that will only be used once.  We went light on flowers and everything.  That enabled us to be on a little bit better footing when we got back from the honeymoon.

[bosk1]

Same here.  We had to pay for everything ourselves, pretty much, so it was important to be frugal.  The only area I regret skimping was on the photographer.  It would have been worth it to pay a bit more for better quality and control over the negatives since photos are something you keep around forever and actually go out of your way to look at every now and then.

Somewhat focused on the original point about the ring, I'll take a moment to also get up on a soapbox that my wife and I share on the subject in general:  The tendency to go overboard and go into debt on things like the ring and the wedding is a symptom of a bigger problem that is too often overlooked, which is placing more emphasis on having an awesome wedding than on having an awesome marriage.  I find it silly and sad that you have to study and prepare much more to get a driver's license than a marriage license.  /rant

[eric42434224]

A few things:

1) Diamonds value doesn't drop to zero resale value after a year.  They appreciate over time.  But that isn't why you buy them.

2) If you buy a diamond, then have it appraised (for insurance perhaps), the appraised value is likely much more than what you would get for it if you tried to sell it (which is its true value).

3) If you don't feel a ring is a good place to spend your money, that is your perfectly valid opinion.  I am sure that everyone has things/activities they spend money on that others would look at as silly.  Diamonds and jewelry aren't for everyone, and I would never recommend going into debt for a ring, or a wedding.

4) I spent 5k on the diamond alone (not including setting or wedding band).  It was an appropriate amount considering my financial situation.  My wife will likely hand it down as an heirloom years from now.  It will be a family treasure.

[yorost]

I've always heard diamonds are terrible investments, due to the market situation.

On the wedding dress, if you aren't planning on keeping it you can get good resale.  We didn't go that high on my wife's, but I think it was $550 with a resell around $400 (or maybe $450 and $300).  We kept it for about 5 months of use, two weddings (US/China) and pictures, so $150 seemed like a great price for that period.

[hefdaddy42]

The tendency to go overboard and go into debt on things like the ring and the wedding is a symptom of a bigger problem that is too often overlooked, which is placing more emphasis on having an awesome wedding than on having an awesome marriage.  I find it silly and sad that you have to study and prepare much more to get a driver's license than a marriage license.  /rant

[eric42434224]

I've always heard diamonds are terrible investments, due to the market situation.

https://www.ajediam.com/images/site/Historical_diamond_prices_1960_2010_Source_Ajediam.jpg

[Perpetual Change]

Somewhat focused on the original point about the ring, I'll take a moment to also get up on a soapbox that my wife and I share on the subject in general:  The tendency to go overboard and go into debt on things like the ring and the wedding is a symptom of a bigger problem that is too often overlooked, which is placing more emphasis on having an awesome wedding than on having an awesome marriage.  I find it silly and sad that you have to study and prepare much more to get a driver's license than a marriage license.  /rant

Exactly. I never noticed it was this big of a problem until I got engaged recently. And, just because two people are on the same page doesn't mean that it's going to be smooth sailing.

I mean, the ring I gave my fiance was pretty humble, which was fine, because neither of us care about that stuff, and neither does my family at all (my brother is married, and I'm not even sure he and his wife have wedding bands!). But, up until and after the engagement, a large portion of (mostly) her friends became, as I stated above, "gollum-like". The pressure I sense from other women to see my fiance's ring-- probably out of the need to validate for their own rings-- seemed immense. The best part was her getting text-messages from people who never even talk to her asking to see it. I guess everyone needs to know what everyone else has, because that's how you measure true value, right?

Now that the wedding is being planned, it's the same thing. We'd be happy with something humble. But, around every corner, you can bet their are friends and family telling us how "it's gotta be". For her, it's a matter of her friends telling her that it's her day to make all her dreams come true (or something like that). For me, it's a matter of me being told "what she deserves". Again, my brother forwent all of this. I believe he was married in a his wife's kitchen, actually 

Though, I guess a couple isn't really any good if they can't refrain from bowing down to pressures from friends and family to go their own way instead.  So, a lot of times, I think my brother had the right of it. Don't let any friends and family get what they want, and disappoint everyone so they're forced to be happy with whatever you give them

[bosk1]

I think there's probably plenty of room for a happy medium in there somewhere. 

[eric42434224]

I think there's probably plenty of room for a happy medium in there somewhere.

Exactly.  Make sound and informed decisions....just like you should do with every other part of your life.

[Perpetual Change]

Yeah, true. And we are functioning along those lines, though most of the planning hasn't started yet.

I mean, I admire my brother's attitude, but he also pissed off half the family by not inviting them, so whatever we do will at least have to be big enough to make up for that.

[rumborak]

I've always heard diamonds are terrible investments, due to the market situation.

https://www.ajediam.com/images/site/Historical_diamond_prices_1960_2010_Source_Ajediam.jpg

Yeah, that's purchase price though, right? The important thing is the sell price. And from what I hear you only get a fraction of the purchase price back.

rumborak

[j]

I spent a little under $2000 on my wife's engagement ring, which I classify as a "shit load" of money.  Can't believe that was less than half of what the average guy spends, good Christ.  That is an alarming bit of information.

Anyway, she loves the ring and wears it with her wedding band, which is great.  But is it an idiotic and pointless tradition?  Absolutely yes.

-J

[rumborak]

Talked to a coworker today about that, he just commented "oh yeah, I'm well beyond that figure". Crazy.

[kirksnosehair]

It's crazy if you go into debt for it, yeah, but if you have the money and you want to spend it, there's nothing crazy about it. 

[eric42434224]

Yeah, that's purchase price though, right? The important thing is the sell price. And from what I hear you only get a fraction of the purchase price back.

rumborak

I was unaware that there was a huge disparity in the diamond market....any sources that can show this?

[yorost]

My impression was that it was frowned upon as an investment because if the manufactured market collapsed they could irrevocably lose almost all value.

[rumborak]

Yeah, that's purchase price though, right? The important thing is the sell price. And from what I hear you only get a fraction of the purchase price back.

rumborak

I was unaware that there was a huge disparity in the diamond market....any sources that can show this?

From my understanding it's a combination of heavily inflated retail values due to almost monopoly status of de Beers, and the social stigma of buying a previously owned ring. So, if you buy a ring you should consider it spent money that you will never recoup.

rumborak

[kirksnosehair]

Resale value on pretty much ANY jewelry is never going to be very good.  I'd say in most cases you'll be lucky to get ~30% of what you initially paid. 

[wolfandwolfandwolf]

I spent 1k on the one for Mrs. Wolves, guy worked with me on it for sure - had known him previously - it's valued quite a bit higher than what I purchased it for.

[jasc15]

Gotta love a country where couples are expected to begin their marriages by incurring crippling debt. 

Same with weddings.  It's amazing the weddings I've been to that easily cost >30 or 40k, then the couple mortgages the most expensive house they can afford, and are living paycheck to paycheck to pay for all that plus their 2 financed cars.  Then we hear about the high cost of living "these days".  Anecdotally speaking, this is the norm, since I get chastized and called cheap when I talk like this in front of most people.

[DebraKadabra]

Nonsense. I'll relax my standards and propose with an onion ring like Homer did with Marge.

I'd take a Funyun over a big gaudy ring any day of the week.