Author Topic: Growing up too soft  (Read 8158 times)

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Offline wolfandwolfandwolf

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Re: Growing up too soft
« Reply #70 on: July 09, 2012, 08:39:48 AM »
Men seem "softer" because a lot of them don't have dads.  Men either get toughened up by not having one and learning to be a man, or they collapse under the pressure.

Also, the most important thing about a man is his character.  Regardless of what he enjoys for his entertainment or whatever.  If a man has character, he is not soft at all.

Offline Ħ

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Re: Growing up too soft
« Reply #71 on: July 09, 2012, 10:04:35 AM »
Well, the topic started as something that sounded borderline masochistic, and then softened, and then became something else, and now we're all just high-fiving each other over the notion the gender norms shouldn't be oppressive, but most of us still prefer girls act a little girly and boys a little manly.

I'm not sure how we got here, and I feel blown-off and tricked into wasting my time by the OP, but I'm in general agreement with everyone now it seems so w/e.
As Jaffa said, I meant we are "soft" as in we are "weak, undisciplined, lacking courage, etc." as compared to previous generations.
"All great works are prepared in the desert, including the redemption of the world. The precursors, the followers, the Master Himself, all obeyed or have to obey one and the same law. Prophets, apostles, preachers, martyrs, pioneers of knowledge, inspired artists in every art, ordinary men and the Man-God, all pay tribute to loneliness, to the life of silence, to the night." - A. G. Sertillanges

Online lonestar

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Re: Growing up too soft
« Reply #72 on: July 09, 2012, 10:24:14 AM »
Ok, I'm stepping the fuck into this one now. First,great post cup,you really seem to be coming into your own style here lately,and I like it.

One thing that hasn't been mentioned is the concept of play that has been ravaged by the onset of electronics and computers. I hate to be that fogey, but I think its important. I grew up with pick up ball games, tag in the creek, makeshift wars and battles, spy missions to save the world in my backyard, uniting with my buds against the gang of kids from the "other" street in epic bicycle and footchases,some ending up in half assed fistfights that only eight year olds  can have. These things serve not only to get us out of mom's hair, but they are vital developmental tools in growing up. They teach comtadery,unity,respect,and honor in a safe,real life setting. They are some of the most vital aspects of maturing,even more so I believe than school.

I pay attention these days,and at least in my area,this concept of play is slowly becoming a lost art as kids hang inside more and more playing video games and the like. They are not getting that real life experience I referred to,and as they mature,the idea of working hard for rewards is lost,or severely retarded. This results in young adults who seem a touch helpless in the face of real adversity.,of course they are,they never learner how to deal with it in that safe real life setting of playing hide and seek at dusk.

That's just an observation of mine,take it or leave it as you wish. /fogey ramblings
« Last Edit: July 09, 2012, 10:29:31 AM by lonestar »

Offline Ħ

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Re: Growing up too soft
« Reply #73 on: July 09, 2012, 10:25:57 AM »
Whoa, nice post loney, that's exactly along the lines of what I was thinking too.
"All great works are prepared in the desert, including the redemption of the world. The precursors, the followers, the Master Himself, all obeyed or have to obey one and the same law. Prophets, apostles, preachers, martyrs, pioneers of knowledge, inspired artists in every art, ordinary men and the Man-God, all pay tribute to loneliness, to the life of silence, to the night." - A. G. Sertillanges

Offline Implode

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Re: Growing up too soft
« Reply #74 on: July 09, 2012, 10:35:18 AM »
I somewhat agree with you Lonestar even though I am a part of the inside generation. Sure, I played outside, but I wasn't ever allowed to go out exploring the neighborhood in my parents' fears that I'd be stolen or something. Other than playing in my yard, I spent a lot of time inside watching TV and playing video games. Somehow my parents still raised me to be a confident person that can handle himself in the real world. I'm not going to lie, I'm not physically strong or tough by any means, I'm kind of a twig, but I'd like to believe that I don't act like a wimp or someone who refuses to do some manual labor. I try to be a gentleman and an all around good person in general. I don't know what they did, but I'm so thankful for how my parent's raised me.

I've also seen people in the same situation as me who have turned out to be very reserved and quiet. I know some people who were homeschooled, and I can't help but think they missed out on a lot of life experienced because of it. For them, being around many people for more than a few hours can be exausting for them. That's the kind of things that many people can view as being weak.

I realize that my post didn't really focus on gender roles, but I was just trying to show how even though having kids spend less time out in the world learning can make it more difficult for them to become stronger individuals, I think that even more responsibility lies in the parents and how they raise their kids.

Offline ehra

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Re: Growing up too soft
« Reply #75 on: July 09, 2012, 10:59:56 AM »
I'd imagine that, in many cities, there isn't much room for kids to go outside and play even if they wanted to. All kids can really do around here is dick around in the street. It was like this for me growing up as well; my "yard" was a stretch of concrete between our back door and our parking spot. If people want future generations to get outside and learn honor and respect by playing cops and robbers or whatever then they haven't made it too easy for them.

Offline MasterShakezula

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Re: Growing up too soft
« Reply #76 on: July 09, 2012, 11:02:53 AM »
starman, I can really see what you're talking about.  (Or I'm just pretty well-convinced I can)  I, myself, didn't grow up with any of that.  (Yeah, this is a bit of a rant/brief autobiographical tangent.  There's also a tl/dr version below.)  Well, aside from tag, but it was usually dummied so that no one could go beyond the boundaries coul-de-sac, which made for a damn tame game of hide-and-seek-tag.  My family, they were pretty damn 21st century, the way they brought me up.  As in I wasn't really allowed to visit other guy's houses until I started driving recently.  Usually, to keep me from, I dunno, actually wandering around and facing such dangers as dirt clods or knuckles, they would put me in front of some sort of screen, assume whatever I'm up to wasn't violent or sexy, and call it a day. 

I will give them swank parenting cred for making it clear that education's high up there on the tower of things to give a damn about, but I didn't necessarily learn too many values from them.  To be frank, a lot of what I learned (or thought I learned) about actual people and how to interact with them when I was a pup was from reading random 80s nostalgia blogs, Webcomics, and forums about Star Wars.  It would be near-redundant to add that I didn't come well-prepared to go face-to-face with other kids at school.  I basically had no common interests or experiences to share and my attempts at verbal communication with them were essentially random-access-humour, rants about movies they'd never heard of, or most appealing of all, sketchy-ass, improvised, Star Wars fan-fiction.  (Thinking back, I can't believe that my peers didn't go much further than not talking to me and occasionally calling me a 'gay dork'.  I remember myself-from-then pretty clearly, and man would I not want to hang with that dude for more than a few minutes.) 

The sheltering, unchallenged way I got brought up really put a damper on my social-skills and sense of reality for a good 12 years or so.  Even nowadays, though I'd (like to) say I'm a pretty normal, down-to-earth cat, I still come across moments where I find myself well out of Earth's atmosphere.  I'd honestly say that even in the last year, I've had to learn myself a fair share of 'real person knowledge', sometimes even on the forum, odd enough.  I still have some ways to go, in terms of being a more independent person.  I'm even getting threatened with not getting to live at college next year, unless I start acting more adult-like this final year of high school.  Overall, I'm just glad to be blessed with a malleable mind that can be melded into a more effective one; where'd we people be if we didn't have one?   (I hope I didn't come across as someone complaining about being called a dork at school or anything; this thread and what's it about really got me in a reflective mood.)

tl;dr- My family forego-ed the old-school to raise me in a sheltered fashion.  It meant I didn't learn good communication/interaction skills until much later, and ended up an Awkward Andy.  The old school way has some damn fine points and lots of them, as lonestar eloquently ranted. 
« Last Edit: July 09, 2012, 11:10:38 AM by MasterShakezula »

Offline TioJorge

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Re: Growing up too soft
« Reply #77 on: July 09, 2012, 11:10:48 AM »
We're soft because we don't have to fight wooly fucking mammoths. Or Namekians. Or Darth Vader. Or Bane. I wanna see TDKR. Kill this thread. Kill the dough. Cowboy Bebop.





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Offline TheOutlawXanadu

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Re: Growing up too soft
« Reply #78 on: July 09, 2012, 12:29:07 PM »
I saw something the other day that was really weird to me. I was in the Apple Store and they had a section for kids that had iPads with games loaded on. There were parents who had brought their babies there to play on the iPads. I overheard them talking, and one of them said that she preferred bringing her child to the Apple Store over the park because the park was too hot.

I don't know if this happens a lot. I don't know what the consequences are going to be for those children. But damn, did it freak me out.
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