Author Topic: The official DTF "drunk" thread  (Read 237493 times)

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Offline LeeHarveyKennedy

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Re: Tyank God for spell check!
« Reply #630 on: August 29, 2010, 11:22:43 PM »
No; but seriously, I forgot that you feel emotions while drunk. Wow. Also, we're playing Nine Inh Nails,
HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD!!!!!  THIS is why LHK is the President of Awesome.

Why is everything you post the best thing ever said?  :lol

LHK is beyond EPIC.
 :hefdaddy

Offline LeeHarveyKennedy

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I'm still changing these! How fucked up is that?
« Reply #631 on: August 30, 2010, 03:18:20 AM »
Dudesz, my life just got so faked up. Seriously. Of my god. Fuckn' girls.
HOLY MARY MOTHER OF GOD!!!!!  THIS is why LHK is the President of Awesome.

Why is everything you post the best thing ever said?  :lol

LHK is beyond EPIC.
 :hefdaddy

Offline Sigz

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #632 on: August 30, 2010, 03:19:25 AM »
NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Quote
The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.

Offline Chino

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Re: I'm still changing these! How fucked up is that?
« Reply #633 on: August 30, 2010, 09:09:11 AM »
Dudesz, my life just got so faked up. Seriously. Of my god. Fuckn' girls.

That it? That everything? ... Kill er'

Offline robwebster

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #634 on: August 31, 2010, 04:18:13 PM »
HOWDY MOTHERFUCKERS.

Offline zxlkho

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #635 on: September 04, 2010, 12:31:33 AM »
bumpppppppppppppumpumpumpupmp

drumpnk
I AM A GUY
You're a fucking stupid bitch.
Orion....that's the one with a bunch of power chords and boringly harsh vocals, isn't it?

Offline LCArenas

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #636 on: September 04, 2010, 09:16:55 AM »
bumpppppppppppppumpumpumpupmp

drumpnk
This guy was drunk last night and you didn't exploit him? DTF, look at what you have missed.

Offline zxlkho

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #637 on: September 04, 2010, 09:33:15 AM »
Yeah, what the fuck guys?
I AM A GUY
You're a fucking stupid bitch.
Orion....that's the one with a bunch of power chords and boringly harsh vocals, isn't it?

Offline TioJorge

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #638 on: September 04, 2010, 11:49:23 PM »
So, I'm at my best friends house, who happens to be an extremely hot mom. A god damn milf. That's beside the point. Her car breaks down on the way home, we push it back, then as we finish watching a movie and she finishes climaxing as my tongue exits her labia minor, I realize she drove me here to her house, we are both very drunk, and I have no friends because I am the anti-christ. So I begin to walk home. I turn around realizing I left my 1.75 ML of Malibu at her house. Grab it, and begin to walk home. Its still fairly full. As I am walking the 7 or so miles it takes to get back to my house, I am drinking Malibu all the while and staring at the stars. It's a pretty nice night, no clouds, breezy, and for once it's not hot as Satan's balls. I get home and I see my poor, cute, overweight Labrador lying on the drive-way asleep. I walk up and clearly startle her as she quite literally jumps up a feet or two in the air and is ready to gnaw my face off, hackles up and snarling as she doesn't know who I am yet. We stand there for a second or two as I think she's some random dog sleeping in my driveway. I realize. She realizes. We celebrate in a sloppy embrace. Then I ponder why my precious dog is left outside when she is clearly a fucking princess meant to be sleeping on a padded bed many people would kill to sleep on. But this is my god damn dog and I'm living in rural America, so suck on my Black Forest Ham I just bought from H.E.B., you slut. I walk inside to find my father sleeping naked on the couch (He is 56) with a girl who looks about the same age as the girl I just finished eating (23). What the fuck. I walk upstairs with the longest sigh I've sighed and...here we are.

Anyway, long story short, I'm drunk. And it was a good night. I like to go carpet diving. She promised she'd gag on my meat tomorrow (I manage the deli at randalls so there's a lot of meat jokes thrown in whenever we play around. Roast beef is very juicy.)

DTP says "WOW, LOOK AT THAT GREAT POST"
RIP DTP.

Offline Global Laziness

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #639 on: September 05, 2010, 03:16:39 PM »
Um...wow.

On a related note, I was looking for this thread the other night and I was too drunk to find it. Extremely disappointing.
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Offline robwebster

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #640 on: September 05, 2010, 04:19:34 PM »
Howdy motherlickers :hat

Offline MetalManiac666

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #641 on: September 05, 2010, 10:59:59 PM »
So, I'm at my best friends house, who happens to be an extremely hot mom. A god damn milf. That's beside the point. Her car breaks down on the way home, we push it back, then as we finish watching a movie and she finishes climaxing as my tongue exits her labia minor, I realize she drove me here to her house, we are both very drunk, and I have no friends because I am the anti-christ. So I begin to walk home. I turn around realizing I left my 1.75 ML of Malibu at her house. Grab it, and begin to walk home. Its still fairly full. As I am walking the 7 or so miles it takes to get back to my house, I am drinking Malibu all the while and staring at the stars. It's a pretty nice night, no clouds, breezy, and for once it's not hot as Satan's balls. I get home and I see my poor, cute, overweight Labrador lying on the drive-way asleep. I walk up and clearly startle her as she quite literally jumps up a feet or two in the air and is ready to gnaw my face off, hackles up and snarling as she doesn't know who I am yet. We stand there for a second or two as I think she's some random dog sleeping in my driveway. I realize. She realizes. We celebrate in a sloppy embrace. Then I ponder why my precious dog is left outside when she is clearly a fucking princess meant to be sleeping on a padded bed many people would kill to sleep on. But this is my god damn dog and I'm living in rural America, so suck on my Black Forest Ham I just bought from H.E.B., you slut. I walk inside to find my father sleeping naked on the couch (He is 56) with a girl who looks about the same age as the girl I just finished eating (23). What the fuck. I walk upstairs with the longest sigh I've sighed and...here we are.

Anyway, long story short, I'm drunk. And it was a good night. I like to go carpet diving. She promised she'd gag on my meat tomorrow (I manage the deli at randalls so there's a lot of meat jokes thrown in whenever we play around. Roast beef is very juicy.)

Fuck, you have the most amazing stories. :rollin

Offline Sir GuitarCozmo

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #642 on: September 09, 2010, 05:39:19 PM »
Thirsty Thursday and Cemetary Gates is on the jukebox. Fucking awesome!!

Offline TimmyHiggy

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #643 on: September 09, 2010, 07:58:54 PM »
at a physics conference. bar stopped serving so we walked to 24 hr supermarket. so drunk.
i heard if you put bread in the rooof of your mouth it means oyu don't cvry when you're shoocppig ononsosni.
<br />/I vea aben told buy   spletn spencer adn timhiggy and that zletar guy to potost gcase imm drunk for the fist imeiiiiiiiiiiiii eoand evryoen ois mkaking funof eme :O(<br />
<br />

Offline skydivingninja

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #644 on: September 11, 2010, 12:13:03 AM »
SkydivingNinja, drunk on the internet.

Offline Fuzzboy

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #645 on: September 11, 2010, 04:04:25 AM »
Got cockblocked by damn curfew tonight

fucking goddamn

so close to a blowjob.

FUCKING SHIT

i'll see this girl tomorrow night, so best of luck AMIFUCKINGRITE
women cops are a joke

to get a boner is just put pressure on the dick

Offline Fuzzboy

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #646 on: September 11, 2010, 04:08:24 AM »
Got cockblocked by damn curfew tonight

fucking goddamn

so close to a blowjob.

FUCKING SHIT

i'll see this girl tomorrow night, so best of luck AMIFUCKINGRITE


I just realized this sounds kinda shallow and "i just wanna git laid tonite brah", but I didn't mean it like that


but seriously
women cops are a joke

to get a boner is just put pressure on the dick

Offline zxlkho

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #647 on: September 12, 2010, 12:29:57 AM »
HEY GUYSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

Awesome partyuuyyyyy
I AM A GUY
You're a fucking stupid bitch.
Orion....that's the one with a bunch of power chords and boringly harsh vocals, isn't it?

Online lonestar

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #648 on: September 12, 2010, 12:32:55 AM »
Yeah, I'd get drunk too if my team sucked dick to James Madison.  :biggrin:

Offline zxlkho

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #649 on: September 12, 2010, 12:55:13 AM »
FUXCK YOU

FUCK JMU LETS GO HokiseSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I AM A GUY
You're a fucking stupid bitch.
Orion....that's the one with a bunch of power chords and boringly harsh vocals, isn't it?

Online lonestar

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #650 on: September 12, 2010, 01:28:14 AM »
 :hat

Offline bout to crash

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #651 on: September 12, 2010, 02:34:47 AM »
 :D
Oh Jackie, always jumping to the most homoerotic possibility.

Offline Portrucci

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #652 on: September 12, 2010, 07:21:00 AM »
when I'm drunkl I can only listen to classical or creedance clearwater revival. I'm not sure why. but listening to the latter tright now.all i knoiw its thati t feels good man  :hat :hat
on par with the anguish one would have from getting unconsensually bent over and buttloved.

Offline Silver Tears

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #653 on: September 14, 2010, 06:46:22 PM »
i think it's sage to say i'm prett ydrunk right now..


Offline AcidLameLTE

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #654 on: September 14, 2010, 06:46:57 PM »
Sage is nice.

Offline Silver Tears

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #655 on: September 14, 2010, 06:47:27 PM »
whaaat

Offline AcidLameLTE

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #656 on: September 14, 2010, 06:48:12 PM »
Never mind :lol

Offline Silver Tears

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #657 on: September 14, 2010, 06:49:55 PM »
fuck i have alectuer at nine tomrow anrd i have no idea how to get tp the hospital

Offline AcidLameLTE

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #658 on: September 14, 2010, 06:50:21 PM »
Good start to the year then :P

Offline Silver Tears

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #659 on: September 14, 2010, 06:55:56 PM »
its fine we 're all in the same boat right now.

It was the medics piub crawl tonigh so we were going round lods of pubs in our lab coats so none of us are up for it tomorrow

Offline TimmyHiggy

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #660 on: September 15, 2010, 04:35:49 PM »
at a physics conference. bar stopped serving so we walked to 24 hr supermarket. so drunk.
Haha I didn't even think I turned my computer on let alone posted on DTF! I wonder what else I did...
i heard if you put bread in the rooof of your mouth it means oyu don't cvry when you're shoocppig ononsosni.
<br />/I vea aben told buy   spletn spencer adn timhiggy and that zletar guy to potost gcase imm drunk for the fist imeiiiiiiiiiiiii eoand evryoen ois mkaking funof eme :O(<br />
<br />

Offline TioJorge

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #661 on: September 15, 2010, 09:30:02 PM »
Meh. Got home late from work and have to go in early tomorrow (I fucking despise back-to-backs); open the department at 5. Fuck me. I'm currently drinking straight from my bottle of Absolut vodka. So I'm not drunk yet, but I will be pretty soon. And then I will be sleeping well once my clothes are finished washing. Then I'll regret doing this in the morning. Then I'll have a fuck you face directed at every damned customer that walks in, and then I'll get my paycheck and buy more alcohol and the cycle of destruction will begin anew except this time I'll change it up by buying even more alcohol and getting even more wasted. I'm also going to invest in a flesh light because I've always wanted to fuck a flashlight but it doesn't seem like it'd be very sexy.

DTP says "WOW, LOOK AT THAT GREAT POST"
RIP DTP.

Offline Silver Tears

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #662 on: September 16, 2010, 09:17:44 PM »
HEEY GUYYS I'M PRTETY DRUNK RIHGT NOW fuck i have a lecuater in like four hours or osmetinga

Offline bout to crash

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #663 on: September 19, 2010, 01:02:25 AM »
You know you're drink when you fall askeep with delicious pizza on your chest.. and then again while reading dtf  ;)


ardon my typinc

edit: lol
« Last Edit: September 19, 2010, 11:13:28 AM by bout to crash »
Oh Jackie, always jumping to the most homoerotic possibility.

Offline Sir GuitarCozmo

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Re: The official DTF "drunk" thread
« Reply #664 on: September 23, 2010, 06:17:15 PM »
Much drinking and boobies on display. Thirsty Thursday fucking rules.