Cup Reviews the 50 worst songs (according to Blender)

[wolfking]

 

[skydivingninja]

Holy crap just saw that Sounds of Silence was apparently on the list.  Biggest lolwut ever.

[MasterShakezula]

39. "She Bangs" - Ricky Martin - 2000

I don't particularly care for lyrics about how much a guy or girl enjoys getting banged by a girl.  Nor do I really care for this style of music.  Not my forte  It does get credit from me for being competently produced and such.  It's not like it fails at achieving what it sets out to do.  I'm still happy to have nothing to do with it., though; at least I'm Too Sexy is really funny.  If I worked at a place where fellow employees played this song all the time, I'd be prematurely bald. 

38. "Cotton Eye Joe" - Rednex - 1995

As much as I dislike the harmonica, I can't say I hate this song.  It's too damn funny.  There are probably hundreds of other dance-pop songs that are just as dumb-ass and lack this song's comedic entertainment value. 

37. "Rico Suave" - Gerardo - 1991

I don't know the deal about this Rico Suave guy, but he can stay the hell away from me and my non-existent girlfriend.  Also, this sounds like a slightly edgier Kids on the Block.  No gracias.

36. "Make 'em Say Uhh!" - 1998 - Master P feat. Silkk, Fiend, Mia-X, and Mystikal

I prefer Beck.  He has the decency to not threaten unsuspecting people with constipation.  Also, his music isn't flipping annoying.

35. "Shiny Happy People" - REM - 1991

REM  is one of my favorite bands as of late, so I'm probably completely biased, but I really like this song.  The back-story of it being inspired by Chinese propaganda (correct me if I'm wrong), kind of gives it some more meaning behind the shiny happy sounding lyrics.  I always end up finding it to be a cool when a really happy-sounding tune is actually not at all; it can make the message stronger, if you know what it really is.  I really do not get the hatred this song gets.  Having seen the music video just now, I can suppose that may've been part of it.  It seems to take the lyrics completely literally. 

[El Barto]

Good idea for a thread.   

[LieLowTheWantedMan]

The R.E.M. song is pretty good. Other than that, no likeys.

[splent]

Oh no they did not put Shiny Happy People on this list.  And I remember dancing to Cotton Eye Joe at dances when I was in middle school. 

[Dr. DTVT]

If anything is clear, it's that a retarded person who suffers subsequent brain damage are more qualified to write about music than anyone at Blender.

[PuffyPat]

If anything is clear, it's that a retarded person who suffers subsequent brain damage are more qualified to write about music than anyone at Blender.

I second this.

[bundy]

How any list purporting to name the fifty worst songs of all time could include anything by the Beatles or Simon and Garfunkel and expect to be taken seriously beggars belief. Like someone has alreay said these kind of lists often contain a couple of controversial inclusions simply to get publicity. There are only two other possible explanations

1. They're taking the piss
2. They're just fucking ignorant gits.

 

[JayOctavarium]

following

[splent]

I'm waiting...

[Ultimetalhead]

Jim Steinman is a fantastic composer, and Meat Loaf is/was a fantastic singer. I'd Do Anything For Love is an all-time classic, along with the rest of the Bat Out of Hell albums.

[jingle.boy]

You are wise beyond your years.  However, as far as sequels go, Bat out of Hell III was only mildly better than Operation:Mindcrime II.

Bat out of Hell is top 10 material for me.  Was my desert island album for a long time.

[Ultimetalhead]

It could just be because I heard them all within a period of about a week or so, but I would almost go so far as to say that I love each of the Bat albums equally. They're all fairly different beasts, and while the lack of Steinman on half of III is nearly crippling, I feel like the other songs do fairly well in living up to the legacy, particularly Alive and If God Could Talk.

[MasterShakezula]

34. "Longer" - Dan Fogelberg - 1979

Maybe it could belong on a list of the most bland songs.  I am disappointed, Blender.  I thought there would be more hilarious selections that either really deserve to be bashed or are too damn hokey to not bring up.  This is just vanilla extract.  (Nothing wrong with vanilla extract.  It can do wonders for cookies and smells amazing.  I'm not too sure if this song can do that, though.)

33. "Barbie Girl" - Aqua - 1997

Need I say more?

32. "Will 2K" - Will Smith - 1999

This just has nothing on The Fresh Prince Of Bell Air. 

31. "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" - Crash Test Dummies - 1994

Wow, really?  This song is another one here that I really like.  I can understand not liking their style or the singing, or just not liking it.  But does this really have any place on this list?

[The King in Crimson]

34. "Longer" - Dan Fogelberg - 1979

Maybe it could belong on a list of the most bland songs.  I am disappointed, Blender.  I thought there would be more hilarious selections that either really deserve to be bashed or are too damn hokey to not bring up.  This is just vanilla extract.  (Nothing wrong with vanilla extract.  It can do wonders for cookies and smells amazing.  I'm not too sure if this song can do that, though.)

Yeah, but have you ever tried vanilla extract by its lonesome? 

Stuff tastes like undiluted ball hair.  So maybe that is a good descriptor for something on a '50 Worst List' but perhaps not what you were going for in this case.

Also, this song is pure corn cheese.   Ack, so is the CTD song actually.

[LCArenas]

Mmm mmm mmm mmm is a weird song, but I like it because of the singer's voice. What's Barbie Girl doing behind it? Matter of fact, only 33? Should be higher.

[MasterShakezula]

34. "Longer" - Dan Fogelberg - 1979

Maybe it could belong on a list of the most bland songs.  I am disappointed, Blender.  I thought there would be more hilarious selections that either really deserve to be bashed or are too damn hokey to not bring up.  This is just vanilla extract.  (Nothing wrong with vanilla extract.  It can do wonders for cookies and smells amazing.  I'm not too sure if this song can do that, though.)

Yeah, but have you ever tried vanilla extract by its lonesome? 

Stuff tastes like undiluted ball hair.  So maybe that is a good descriptor for something on a '50 Worst List' but perhaps not what you were going for in this case.

Also, this song is pure corn cheese.   Ack, so is the CTD song actually.

I've never tasted vanilla extract, primarily because I've guessed it tastes like what you've described.  I only brought it up in a weak attempt at humour. 

[contest_sanity]

31. "Mmm Mmm Mmm Mmm" - Crash Test Dummies - 1994

Wow, really?  This song is another one here that I really like.  I can understand not liking their style or the singing, or just not liking it.  But does this really have any place on this list?

A fantastic song from one of my favorite albums of the 90's.  I've actually always thought it was weird that the song was a hit given how bizarre it is.  Like you said, the style might seem a little kooky, but it's clearly a well-crafted song.  Maybe it's all the "mmm" in the title.  If so, I'm sure they show no love to C & C Music Factory's "Things That Make You Go Hmmmm."

[Silver Tears]

I'M A BARBIE GIRL

[DebraKadabra]

If anything is clear, it's that a retarded person who suffers subsequent brain damage are more qualified to write about music than anyone at Blender.

That's pretty much always been the case with Blender.

[crazyaga]

any song from Metallica's Lulu is bad enough for this list.

[Nekov]

any song from Metallica's Lulu is bad enough for this list.

+1

Very good thread cup!

[obscure]

Bahahhaa I approve of this list so far 

awesome thread cup!

[King Postwhore]

REM and Crash Test Dummies are two great songs.  WHAT  THE  FLAGNAR?!

[splent]

Mmm mmm mmm mmm is awesome.

And I have a sweet spot for Dan Fogelberg.... But why isn't that Auld Lang Syne song on this list, that one is way worse than Longer.

[LCArenas]

any song from Metallica's Lulu is bad enough for this list.

Specially the one that goes like

PUMPING BLUH
PUMPING BLUH

[LieLowTheWantedMan]

any song from Metallica's Lulu is bad enough for this list.

Indeed. Unfortunately I think this list came before Lulu.

[energythief]

The Ketchup Song?

I love The Ketchup Song so much.

[Ultimetalhead]

any song from Metallica's Lulu is bad enough for this list.

Specially the one that goes like

PUMPING BLUH
PUMPING BLUH

JACK I BESEECH YOU
JACK I BESEECH YOU
JACK I BESEECH YOU
JACK I BESEECH YOU
JACK I BESEECH YOU

[Onno]

I AM THE TABLE!!!!!!

[MasterShakezula]

30. "Greatest Love of All" - Whitney Houston - 1986

Do I hear that default Yamaha DX-7 'electric piano' patch that is on every other MIDI keyboard? 
Meh.  I like the singing.  Too bad the musical backing is flaccid. 

29. "Breakfast at Tiffany's" - Deep Blue Something - 1995

Sounds kind of like they're trying to go for the early 90s REM sound.  Except not as depressing in general.  I found it alright.  I'd be happy to listen to it again, but it's not going to displace REM or the Cure or whatever, in terms of alt rock I find awesome. 

28. "Your Body is a Wonderland" - John Mayer - 2001

Eh, no thanks.  Not my style.  Like, I'm trying to scrounge up things to say about it but I can't really think of anything. 

27. "The Final Countdown" - Europe - 1987

Um, I like the synth brass.  That's about it, though.  IF it was faster and instrumental, it would fit really well in a fighting game or something. 

[Big Hath]

27. "The Final Countdown" - Europe - 1987

Um, I like the synth brass.  That's about it, though.  IF it was faster and instrumental, it would fit really well in a fighting game or something.

without this song, what would GOB open his magic act with?

[BlobVanDam]

The Final Countdown is awesome. Haters gonna hate.

[lonestar]

To quote Sebastian Bach,"any song about space travel by a band named after a continent has to suck."