Author Topic: Who's your zombie apocalypse survival team? (Read 3624 times)

MetalJunkie · « **on:** May 12, 2012, 10:16:09 AM »

Sheldon Cooper, Barack Obama, and Batman. I've got a super-genius, a superhero, and the guy with the nuclear launch codes. I think I'll make it a while.

Zydar · « **Reply #1 on:** May 12, 2012, 10:17:30 AM »

River Tam, Batman, and Mitt Romney

BlobVanDam · « **Reply #2 on:** May 12, 2012, 10:21:51 AM »

Ari Gold (whoever the fuck that is), Lebron James (whoever the fuck that is), and Gordon Freeman (whoever the fuck that is).

I'm think I'll just surrender to the zombies right off and spare myself the hunt.

MetalJunkie · « **Reply #3 on:** May 12, 2012, 10:24:31 AM »

Quote from: BlobVanDam on May 12, 2012, 10:21:51 AM

Ari Gold (whoever the fuck that is), Lebron James (whoever the fuck that is), and Gordon Freeman (whoever the fuck that is).

I'm think I'll just surrender to the zombies right off and spare myself the hunt.

Lebron James is a basketball player and how the fuck do you not know Gordon Freeman? He's the protagonist in Half-Life. Sounds like Ari's your only worthless one.

TioJorge · « **Reply #4 on:** May 12, 2012, 10:27:22 AM »

Oh god, how dumb... AND FUN!

I've got Cal Lightman (those mother fucking flesh eaters won't lie to me), Batman, and Angelina Jolie. Hellz yeah, while you bastards are blue balling and or finding beat-up, ugly, half-eaten bitches, I'm going to be sliding in between the legs of one of the finest women on the....OH GOD A HORDE, THROW HER! THROW HER!!!!

I still think Glenn (Walking Dead) at the beginning of the series has it right in thinking he is best off alone. Nearly every situation in a zombie world is compounded with stupidity whenever more people are added in. I would do so well on my own, screwing other morons over and roaming the land as Nyarlathotep. I'd live forever, because I'd inject the virus directly into my balls and I'd just go around fucking bitches and turning them into the Veronica X project except it'd work and I'd be Albert Wesker (ten fold stronger of course, cause my balls are all living dead and shit) and you'd all be my slaves.

P.S. Who was the stupid cunt that made this and didn't even put any Resident Evil characters in this? What a crock. Fool. I mean really, Sephiroth? Anyone wearing a brown shirt, first off, is already dead, but if they did just so happen to be wearing it, then shit... Sephiroth is a God of all Gods, he brings meteors down upon planets. Zombies? Psh...I don't think they'd be able to infect him.

antigoon · « **Reply #5 on:** May 12, 2012, 10:27:40 AM »

Sheldon Cooper, Darth Vader, Snoop Dogg.

lol

BlobVanDam · « **Reply #6 on:** May 12, 2012, 10:28:41 AM »

Quote from: MetalJunkie on May 12, 2012, 10:24:31 AM

Quote from: BlobVanDam on May 12, 2012, 10:21:51 AM
Ari Gold (whoever the fuck that is), Lebron James (whoever the fuck that is), and Gordon Freeman (whoever the fuck that is).

I'm think I'll just surrender to the zombies right off and spare myself the hunt.
Lebron James is a basketball player and how the fuck do you not know Gordon Freeman? He's the protagonist in Half-Life. Sounds like Ari's your only worthless one.

I've never played Half Life, so I wouldn't have a clue who he is. Don't know how a basketball player would help me either.

The one day I don't wear a black shirt............

GuineaPig · « **Reply #7 on:** May 12, 2012, 10:29:38 AM »

Walter White (very useful), 50 Cent (somewhat useful), Jack Sparrow (without a ship, not useful at all).

Sigz · « **Reply #8 on:** May 12, 2012, 10:30:04 AM »

House, Batman, and Kim Kardashian.

But fuck that, I'm staying the hell away from other people in a zombie apocalypse. They're just as likely to kill you as a zombie.

Except Batman, I'd stick with him.

ReaperKK · « **Reply #9 on:** May 12, 2012, 10:34:10 AM »

Fuck I have Olivia Benson and I really don't like her, but along with her I have Darth Vader and Clint Eastwood.

MetalJunkie · « **Reply #10 on:** May 12, 2012, 10:35:29 AM »

Quote from: BlobVanDam on May 12, 2012, 10:28:41 AM

Quote from: MetalJunkie on May 12, 2012, 10:24:31 AM
Quote from: BlobVanDam on May 12, 2012, 10:21:51 AM
Ari Gold (whoever the fuck that is), Lebron James (whoever the fuck that is), and Gordon Freeman (whoever the fuck that is).

I'm think I'll just surrender to the zombies right off and spare myself the hunt.
Lebron James is a basketball player and how the fuck do you not know Gordon Freeman? He's the protagonist in Half-Life. Sounds like Ari's your only worthless one.
I've never played Half Life, so I wouldn't have a clue who he is. Don't know how a basketball player would help me either.

Not just a basketball player, but a pro. I don't know that his skills would help, but he certainly wouldn't slow you down.

BlobVanDam · « **Reply #11 on:** May 12, 2012, 10:37:13 AM »

Quote from: MetalJunkie on May 12, 2012, 10:35:29 AM

Quote from: BlobVanDam on May 12, 2012, 10:28:41 AM
Quote from: MetalJunkie on May 12, 2012, 10:24:31 AM
Quote from: BlobVanDam on May 12, 2012, 10:21:51 AM
Ari Gold (whoever the fuck that is), Lebron James (whoever the fuck that is), and Gordon Freeman (whoever the fuck that is).

I'm think I'll just surrender to the zombies right off and spare myself the hunt.
Lebron James is a basketball player and how the fuck do you not know Gordon Freeman? He's the protagonist in Half-Life. Sounds like Ari's your only worthless one.
I've never played Half Life, so I wouldn't have a clue who he is. Don't know how a basketball player would help me either.
Not just a basketball player, but a pro. I don't know that his skills would help, but he certainly wouldn't slow you down.

Well I guess I could just hop onto his shoulders and he could run me to safety with some height between me and the zombies. You gotta work with what you're given in an apocalypse!

MetalJunkie · « **Reply #12 on:** May 12, 2012, 10:38:43 AM »

Quote from: BlobVanDam on May 12, 2012, 10:37:13 AM

Quote from: MetalJunkie on May 12, 2012, 10:35:29 AM
Quote from: BlobVanDam on May 12, 2012, 10:28:41 AM
Quote from: MetalJunkie on May 12, 2012, 10:24:31 AM
Quote from: BlobVanDam on May 12, 2012, 10:21:51 AM
Ari Gold (whoever the fuck that is), Lebron James (whoever the fuck that is), and Gordon Freeman (whoever the fuck that is).

I'm think I'll just surrender to the zombies right off and spare myself the hunt.
Lebron James is a basketball player and how the fuck do you not know Gordon Freeman? He's the protagonist in Half-Life. Sounds like Ari's your only worthless one.
I've never played Half Life, so I wouldn't have a clue who he is. Don't know how a basketball player would help me either.
Not just a basketball player, but a pro. I don't know that his skills would help, but he certainly wouldn't slow you down.

Well I guess I could just hop onto his shoulders and he could run me to safety with some height between me and the zombies. You gotta work with what you're given in an apocalypse!

If you're worried about your chances, you could meet up with me, Sheldon, and Batman.

lonestar · « **Reply #13 on:** May 12, 2012, 10:42:56 AM »

Olivia Benson, Earth Vadars, and fiddy cent. Fiddy and Farther can take care of the zombies while Olivia and I get to the repopulating.

(I always thought she was a hottie)

BlobVanDam · « **Reply #14 on:** May 12, 2012, 10:43:02 AM »

Quote from: MetalJunkie on May 12, 2012, 10:38:43 AM

Quote from: BlobVanDam on May 12, 2012, 10:37:13 AM
Quote from: MetalJunkie on May 12, 2012, 10:35:29 AM
Quote from: BlobVanDam on May 12, 2012, 10:28:41 AM
Quote from: MetalJunkie on May 12, 2012, 10:24:31 AM
Quote from: BlobVanDam on May 12, 2012, 10:21:51 AM
Ari Gold (whoever the fuck that is), Lebron James (whoever the fuck that is), and Gordon Freeman (whoever the fuck that is).

I'm think I'll just surrender to the zombies right off and spare myself the hunt.
Lebron James is a basketball player and how the fuck do you not know Gordon Freeman? He's the protagonist in Half-Life. Sounds like Ari's your only worthless one.
I've never played Half Life, so I wouldn't have a clue who he is. Don't know how a basketball player would help me either.
Not just a basketball player, but a pro. I don't know that his skills would help, but he certainly wouldn't slow you down.

Well I guess I could just hop onto his shoulders and he could run me to safety with some height between me and the zombies. You gotta work with what you're given in an apocalypse!
If you're worried about your chances, you could meet up with me, Sheldon, and Batman.

Dude, what happened to Obama? Don't tell me he was the token black guy who dies!
I'm not sure I want to face Batman though. Considering how close him and I were to hooking up in the apocalypse, I think it would just make things awkward for everyone.

TioJorge · « **Reply #15 on:** May 12, 2012, 10:59:41 AM »

I was gonna say, having either Walter White or House would be so great to have because they're likely to both kick ass (well...House would need a lot of Vicodin but the man can be vicious at times) and they'd be more than likely to find a cure and/or at least a preventative to being infected than anyone else. I'd definitely protect them with my life in such a circumstance. But my man Sigz knows what's up, stay the fuck away from fucking human beings.

Xanthul · « **Reply #16 on:** May 12, 2012, 11:20:48 AM »

I've got Dexter and Hulk so I think I'll just stand back, grab a drink and have Louis CK tell me some jokes while we watch them go to town on those puny zombies.

robwebster · « **Reply #17 on:** May 12, 2012, 11:22:16 AM »

I got Link from Zelda and some people from American TV shows.

Well I'm boned.

LieLowTheWantedMan · « **Reply #18 on:** May 12, 2012, 11:25:43 AM »

Olivia Benson, Chuck Norris, Sephiroth.

Olivia Benson can go fuck herself, but those last two? Damn. I believe I win by default.

jingle.boy · « **Reply #19 on:** May 12, 2012, 11:37:43 AM »

Tyrone Lannister, Batman, Chuck Norris.

Yeah, I'm good. Never watched Game of Thrones, so don't know if he helps or hurts. Doesn't really matter though, the latter two got us covered.

Chuck Norris will just strangle them all with a cordless phone.

FlyingBIZKIT · « **Reply #20 on:** May 12, 2012, 11:39:20 AM »

WALTER WHITE. FUCK YES

and Iron Man and Bill O' Reilly

Adami · « **Reply #21 on:** May 12, 2012, 11:42:26 AM »

-reads rules about color of shirt-

-takes off shirt-

Dimitrius · « **Reply #22 on:** May 12, 2012, 11:46:16 AM »

Sheldon Cooper, Kim Kardashian and Brock Sampson.

Well, at least I won't mind the whole "re-populating the Earth" thing.

HarlequinForest · « **Reply #23 on:** May 12, 2012, 12:07:27 PM »

Tyrion Lannister, Gordon Freeman, and Clint Eastwood.

Tyrion has extreme practical intelligence that would certainly be valuable to surviving a zombie apocalypse, although his size might be prohibitive (or the contrary).

Gordan Freeman is a lab geek with great combat prowess and has experience versus zombies, nonetheless. Not only will he mow them down, but he's the most likely to find a cure.

Clint Eastwood is a film director/star in his 80's. As much as I love him, I don't think he'll be a huge asset comparatively. Probably more than me, though.

I calculate our groups survival probability to be 68% for the first 6 months and 24% for the first 3 years, depending on the evolution of the infected.

Adami · « **Reply #24 on:** May 12, 2012, 12:10:04 PM »

Quote from: HarlequinForest on May 12, 2012, 12:07:27 PM

Gordan Freeman is a lab geek with great combat prowess and has experience versus zombies, nonetheless. Not only will he mow them down, but he's the most likely to find a cure.

I really read that as Morgan Freeman for a while.

Quote

Clint Eastwood is a film director/star in his 80's. As much as I love him, I don't think he'll be a huge asset comparatively. Probably more than me, though.

To be fair, he will keep zombies off your lawn.