Stunning conversations you have with people

[Zook]

Nope, it's all just boat docks. Endless boat docks. You want sand? Go buy a fucking sand box!

[rumborak]

Sandbox? Who am I, fucking Brian Wilson?!



rumborak

[FlyingBIZKIT]

Dad: So son, you job hunting?
Me: Yes sir, I have the gun ready to shoot.
Dad: No you don't. *Walks off

[TL]

The comparison to continents is to make more extreme the measure.  Not all people carry the same depth of familiarity.  I point out the continents because I think that is past the line of familiarity for most people.  Some might not go past country, other's might not go past region, or state, or maybe even their own city.  Just because we're a bunch of bigots with knowledge doesn't mean most the world pays attention to what we think they should.

That's not what we're saying though.
We're not saying a guy from the mid-west should know all about Boston because Boston is oh so important and awesome. We're saying that if a dude is interviewing for a job in Boston, he should maybe look up some basics about Boston first.

You seem bent on just ranting about 'people on the coast' for no apparent reason, and it's kind of annoying, and a little bit offensive.

[Progmetty]

I have a coworker who likes to ask stupid questions.

Me, changing a lightbulb.
Him:  Whatcha doing?
Me:  Changing a lightbulb???
Him:  Oh.   Why?
Me:  ??

This sort of thing happens all the time.

This kind of thing doesn't bother me much, I figure they just wanna talk and I let them.

[senecadawg2]

There's a woman that I work with who I'm only barely acquainted with. A few months ago this conversation occurred out of the blue.

Her: I'm really upset
Me: Why?
Her: Jim just died last night
Me: Who is Jim? 
Her: My ex husband
Me: You were married? 
Her: I introduced you to him 3 weeks ago
Me: Oh... well, how did he die?
Her: He was murdered
Me: Murdered     Holy shit
Her: He was stabbed to death last night

and she walks away.

This was one of the craziest conversations I have ever had, and that it was so out of the blue that I was so stunned. She was married to this guy for only a few months and apparently when I met him they were formally divorced, but still seeing each other  .
She lives in a really rough neighborhood and stuff like that goes down all the time, but it was still shocking and very sad as well.

this is my favorite.

[ariich]

Indiana is Midwest, culturally separated from the Northeast.  ...and how clearer can I be when I say it's ridiculous he doesn't know it and I think he looks stupid for not knowing it?  Where did I make excuses for him?  All I pointed out is what is likely the root of his ignorance.

The comparison to continents is to make more extreme the measure.  Not all people carry the same depth of familiarity.  I point out the continents because I think that is past the line of familiarity for most people.  Some might not go past country, other's might not go past region, or state, or maybe even their own city.  Just because we're a bunch of bigots with knowledge doesn't mean most the world pays attention to what we think they should.

I basically agree with this, everyone has a different level of interest of anything outside their own immediate experiences. And sorry to say, but the US is kinda famous around the world for being pretty ignorant in that way. Not saying it's fair because almost all Americans I encounter are intelligent and rounded people, but if the stereotype exists then it's a good bet there are a lot of people like that there.

[Nick]

Background: We flew an applicant into Boston from Indiana. The lunch conversation I had with him:

Me: "So, are you staying over the weekend?"
Him: "Nah, I'm flying out after this."
Me: "Oh ok, you'be been to Boston before then?"
Him: "Nah."
[awkward silence]
Him: "So, what can you do around here?"
Me: "Well, there's mountains to the north..."
Him: "Really?"
Me: "Well, we have Vermont, New Hampshire and Maine just to the north."
Him: "Oh, wow."
Me: "I also like playing beach Volleyball in the summer."
Him: "Oh cool. Is there a large body of water around here to do that?"

[...... unbelieving stare from me .....]

Me: "You mean, other than the ocean?"
Him: "Oh, is Boston close to the ocean? I knew there was a river here"

Let me just say it didn't help his chances of getting hired.

rumborak

I want to read past this, but I'm afraid that if I do, my head will explode.

[King Postwhore]

Indiana is Midwest, culturally separated from the Northeast.  ...and how clearer can I be when I say it's ridiculous he doesn't know it and I think he looks stupid for not knowing it?  Where did I make excuses for him?  All I pointed out is what is likely the root of his ignorance.

The comparison to continents is to make more extreme the measure.  Not all people carry the same depth of familiarity.  I point out the continents because I think that is past the line of familiarity for most people.  Some might not go past country, other's might not go past region, or state, or maybe even their own city.  Just because we're a bunch of bigots with knowledge doesn't mean most the world pays attention to what we think they should.

I basically agree with this, everyone has a different level of interest of anything outside their own immediate experiences. And sorry to say, but the US is kinda famous around the world for being pretty ignorant in that way. Not saying it's fair because almost all Americans I encounter are intelligent and rounded people, but if the stereotype exists then it's a good bet there are a lot of people like that there.

You know the one thing that surprised me and I should have known this but in the same time zone, (EST) the sun goes down later the further west you go.  I felt like such a dork for not knowing that.  I live in NH and when I visited my friends in Indianapolis where they are right on the border of the next time zone it was about an hour of more sun.  I laughed at myself for not knowing that.

I've been to every time zone in America but never at the edge of mine before and I felt so silly.

[Fluffy Lothario]

So there's this girl at work. She's as dim as they come. As in, painfully so.

My nickname at work is Frodo, because I'm fairly short and kind of hobbitey. She literally doesn't know who Frodo is, so, not wanting to call me something when she doesn't know the reference, she calls me Franklin, a turtle from some kids show. Gives you some idea of her frame of reference.

Anyway, she was on break at the same time as me today, and showed me an episode (ten minutes) of Franklin on her phone. She goes to YouTube and clicks on the first video she sees.

It happens to be in German. I can speak German, and haven't watched anything in German in months, so, to her luck, I become a fair bit more interested. While watching it, however, she lets go this stunner:

Her: "you know, of all the languages in the world, English sounds by far the most normal. Other languages all just sound weird."
Me: "you don't think the fact that you only speak English has anything to do with you thinking that way?"
Her: "what difference would that make?"

I left it there.

[jsem]

Lol. Unbelievable.

[bosk1]

Him not knowing a very basic geographic fact has nothing to do with being anyone from the east or west coast being elitist.

Ah, reread what I said.  Midwesterners are going to know Midwest geography before they know anything about East coast geography.  I was taking a pot shot at the coast's elitism while more or less saying that, not blaming it.  I agree it makes him look stupid to not know, but it probably stems from him just not caring.  Where you live gives different perspective, how many of us North Americans would look like total idiots trying to place European cities on a map ...African cities?

If a person has a job interview in a city, it doesn't matter where that city is; they should do a little research and know a thing or two about the city they're potentially going to be working in, before going to the job interview. If they don't, they're an idiot. Period. It doesn't matter if we're talking about a city on one of the coasts, or in the middle of Nebraska. It's common sense.

This.  Yorost, I agree with your overall point.  But in the context of this job interview related conversation, it doesn't really hold up.  They guy was interviewing for a job in Boston.  If hired he would work in Boston and live in or near Boston.  If you think a Boston-based employer is going to hire someone who not only has no connection with the area, but also shows no interest in it whatsoever, you're mistaken.  When we interview at my firm, we have a whole set of interview questions that are meant to get at whether the person has any connection to and interest in the geographical area that would make them likely to stay long term.  If not, we generally aren't interested.  When I interviewed here, one of the things I made sure to mention was the areas where my wife and I had looked at houses, and specific things that drew us to this area.  If you don't have at least a basic knowledge of the area you are interviewing in, it is definitely a strike against you.

[splent]

Me: Hi, I'm back.
DTF: Oh, ok.
Me: 

[snapple]

Me: Hi, I'm back.
DTF: Oh, ok.
Me: 

 

[bosk1]

[zerogravityfat]

on rumby's post, if you don't know that boston and nyc are on the coast, you are 'special'. i can understand if you weren't sure where dc should be since it's not really on the coast and can be a hit/miss. two major cities of the states out of a handful you should probably know that especially if your intention is to move there for work.

[TL]

I was playing a game of Apples to Apples with a few people a couple weeks ago. For those unfamiliar with the game, you have two sets of cards. Each turn, the winner of the past round acts as 'judge' and draws a red card with an adjective on it. All of the other players have several green cards apiece, each with a person or place or thing, etc, on it. You select one and hand it in anonymously, trying to get the judge to pick your card based on whatever criteria they want (most fitting, funniest, etc).

Typically, you play with a rule where people can trade in green cards for a new one if they aren't familiar with the thing on the card, but you need to admit to the group that you don't know it. Because of this, I learned that one of the people playing doesn't know who Rosa Parks, Jimmy Carter, Al Pacino, or Bill Gates are, among other things.

This person is a 22 year old college student.

How.

[Beowulf]

Out of the mouths of "babes", though my "baby" is now 13.

Beginning of last week, we're driving from Dallas to southeast Oklahoma for Boy Scout camp.  I'm driving my son and a couple of other scouts about the same age or a year older.  We drive by a farm that oddly has camels.  I point them out to the boys.  I say, "look guys, camels!"
My son says, almost to correct me, "they're dromedaries".  I agreed, "right, they're dromedary camels". 
"No, they're not camels.  They're a type of camel."

We continued to give him shit the rest of the week.
     "That's not a rock, its a type of rock"
     "That's not a tent, its a type of tent"
     etc.
     etc.
     etc.

[Ultimetalhead]

At the hotel the other day, I was sitting at the front desk getting ready to hand the shift over to the night person. Now, the information you need to know in order to fully comprehend the magnitude of this story is as follows: 1. My hotel has a pool. 2. The pool is right next to the front desk. 3. The door to the pool is also right next to the front desk. 4. There is no 4.

Guest: How do I get to the pool?
Me: ...it's closed.
Guest: Oh okay.

I'm really beginning to think he was actually blind, because there were tons of people in the pool, yet he believed me when I told him it was closed. 

[Orbert]

When my son was maybe five years old (he's 20 now), we were watching some thing on TV honoring Michael Jackson.  The other Jackson brothers were there and they were showing old footage of The Jackson Five.  Then they cut back to whatever was happening on stage, modern day.  Late 90's, when Michael was the King of Pop.

My son turns and looks at me, and quite confused but quite serious, asks "Michael Jackson... used to be... black?"


It sounds like one of those "joke" conversations, but I swear to God it's true.  I was there.

[bosk1]

  That's awesome.

[Dream Team]

Kinda unrelated, kinda related, but I hate when people go "OMG THIS SONG IS SOOOOOO OLD" about songs from 2005-2008.

 

It's mostly cause I'm a teen, and all stereotypical teenage girls have iPods consisting almost entirely of songs that just came out, but they have a few songs from said time period. When those songs come on, their friends usually react with "OMG WHY ARE WE LISTENING TO THIS IT'S SOOOO OLD".

Teenage girls should not be allowed to listen to music.

[wkiml]

Not just teenage girls my 18 year old son has an annoying habit of make a comment about and music thats is older than one or two years old


"wow, real current dad "

I want to strangle him everytime he says it

[Super Dude]

Whenever my brother mentions "commoners" or "the common people." And no, not in historical discussions.

[jsem]

Kinda unrelated, kinda related, but I hate when people go "OMG THIS SONG IS SOOOOOO OLD" about songs from 2005-2008.

 

It's mostly cause I'm a teen, and all stereotypical teenage girls have iPods consisting almost entirely of songs that just came out, but they have a few songs from said time period. When those songs come on, their friends usually react with "OMG WHY ARE WE LISTENING TO THIS IT'S SOOOO OLD".

Teenage girls should not be allowed to listen to music.

Not just teenage girls do this. I've seen adult, albeit in their late 20s, make the same argument. Enrages me...

[Orbert]

It's that "teen sheep" mentality that you have to have the latest fashion in clothes, listen to the latest music, eat the trendiest food, and generally do all the cool things that all the cool kids are doing, or else you're not cool. 

Eventually, most people grow up and realize that what you like or simply what's practical is far more important than what your friends think, but some don't.  If you make it into you late 20's and still think like that, there's probably no hope.

[Super Dude]

Granted, it's also hard to be on the other side of the barricade, like I was. I realized the whole "latest trend" thing was bullcrap, and so I was marked out as uncool like a guy with a sniper rifle crosshairs on his forehead. As much as I'm glad I didn't buy into the bullshit, it still sucked being on the outside all the time.

[Orbert]

Oh hell yeah.  It's tough.  The need to be accepted versus the need to be yourself.  Still, I listened to the music I wanted to, and never let anything compromise that.  I couldn't.  Subjecting myself to music I didn't like just to be cool made no sense to me, and just wasn't worth it.

[Super Dude]

Oh no, I just meant in the sense that people gave me shit for it. But yeah, I was still a metalhead, followed by proghole.

[Orbert]

I was lucky, I didn't catch a lot of shit like that.  I wasn't in the "popular" crowd, but most of them came from the same neighborhood, which I also came from, so they knew me and most were at least civil to me.  I was generally in the "burnout" group, but managed to transcend that also by being a band geek, school chess champion, and National Honor Society member. 

Basically, people didn't know how to pigeonhole me, and high school was all about putting people into categories (SUBDIVISIONS!) so no one knew what to do with me.  Which was fine with me.  I've always managed to defy and confound expectations, not intentionally, but it tends to work out that way.

[SomeoneLikeHim]

I just want to say that I agree with basically everything said. I'm 17 years old and I have been lucky enough to have friends who listen to decent music and classmates who respect me for listening to something else ( Actually I don't really know how many people know what music I listen to. I don't really advertise it, I have just learned it's easier that way.) I have never felt any preassure to listen to crappy music and for that I am grateful.

[slycordinator]

Her: "you know, of all the languages in the world, English sounds by far the most normal. Other languages all just sound weird."
Me: "you don't think the fact that you only speak English has anything to do with you thinking that way?"
Her: "what difference would that make?"

I left it there.

A kind of similar conversation happened at an old job of mine.

A coworker was originally from Britain (Manchester, if I remember correctly). He was so tired of people always asking him about his accent.

Lady comes in to the concession stand. I'm helping run orders for people and he was taking her order.

Her: You know, all the colonies of the British have an accent except us.
[blank stare]
Her: Come on, it's true!

[kirksnosehair]

As most of you know I am a computer guy, I run an I.T. department.  Part of my job involves monitoring internet usage and calling out users when they visit websites that are inappropriate.  Those also get added to the blacklist which blocks them in the future, and most inappropriate material is blocked automatically anyway, but once in a while something gets through.

So, just to be clear:  Every single byte of information that passes through our routers is monitored.

Here's a YouTube video of me demonstrating how our monitoring works.

So, last week, an employee was surfing some porn site that slipped through the system.  I am 100% unequivocally positive that he is looking at porn and I have overwhelming physical evidence to prove it. 

I walk into the the guy's cube, he looks nervous and reaches for his mouse very suddenly (obviously closing the window of porn he was just looking at)

Me:  Dude, you're killing me here
Him: Uh, what do you mean
Me: You know what I mean
Him: Uh, no, I don't know, er, you know, um....
Me: Look, you can't be looking at that stuff while you're here at work
Him: Looking at what stuff?
Me: So, you're going to sit there, look me straight in the face and lie about it?  Really?
Him: Lie about what?  I, uh, what do you mean?  (bead of sweat now developing on his temple and rolling down his cheek)
Me: Do I need to tell **** about this?
Him: (now looking like a stroke is imminent) I, um, well, er, no, I'm sorry.
Me: OK


I have this conversation with someone in this office about once a month.  It's funny how they all know I can see everything, yet, they still push the envelope and when busted they straight up deny it.

[Orbert]

I think the natural thing is to deny it, just in case you're not talking about what they think you're talking about, just in case everything about how you can see everything and everything is monitored is all BS just to scare them.  Once you finally convince them that you do know and it's not BS (and their job really is potentially at stake here) then they finally cave.

[MasterShakezula]

During the school year, my friend would often browse the internet on my phone, usually to find random Youtube videos or to find really disgusting images to shock one of our neighbors.  It sometimes would annoy me, due to the fact that he would do this during lectures and have no idea that he could get him and I into trouble with the teacher.  One day, he was browsing through my pictures and stumbled upon a hardcore porn picture that I'd forgotten to delete off of it.  The dude was well-shocked.  (Odd, considering he seemed to have no problem finding gems like blue waffle and red pancake  )  I managed to actually convince him that I had intentionally put it there to trip him.  Lately, he's been a bit more hesitant in browsing my phone's internet.