Changing kids' names?

[Odysseus]

I was reading an article in one of Britain's less-respected-but-nonetheless-still-very-popular newspapers. Apparently there is a bit of a problem with kids being passed over for adoption by propsective parents because of their names. There is a bit of a habit in our (ahem!) 'lower orders' with parents naming their kids after drinks - Chardonnay, Champagne - (hopefully not Lambrini...) as well as their favourite celebrities, and also using horrendously misspelt names, while social workers and the powers-that-be are reluctant to allow people to change a kid's birth name. Obviously we're talking generally about kids below three years old, not a 15 year old.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article ... onnay.html

 The first reaction tends to be that the prospective parents should get the fuck over it because the child's welfare is of more importance than the parents' embarassment. However, there would seem to be a little more to it when you consider it from a wider viewpoint. While we like to convince ourselves that Britain is largely classless society and that most people fit into what used to be called the 'middle class' (define that how you will), one has to wonder how little Humperdink Fresh Prince Jones and Madonna Tigerlily Dumptruck Watson are going to fit in amongst the Jameses, Thomases, Sophies and Victorias at their local Church of England prep school, not to mention those important city board meetings.

I guess a question that could be asked is this: Should we be able to change the birth name of a child if we think that his/her original name would be a barrier to a successful life?

[lordxizor]

I think that a person should be able to change the name of a child they're adopting if they're a baby. Maybe as high as two years old. Beyond that, it just seems mean to the kid to call them something other than what they've been called their whole life.

[BlobVanDam]

I think that a person should be able to change the name of a child they're adopting if they're a baby. Maybe as high as two years old. Beyond that, it just seems mean to the kid to call them something other than what they've been called their whole life.

Pretty much this. Of course, in a perfect world, parents just wouldn't give their kids stupid names, especially if these are kids given away really young.

[j]

In some cases, I think.

My wife had a student named Pimptarius at the school where she taught a couple years ago before we got married.  That is either the most horrible or the greatest name ever, I can't decide.  She said he was a cute little snot-nosed kindergartener who went by "Leon" at school mostly because the staff refused to call him by his first name.

Someone else (can't remember if it was a friend who is a teacher or what) told me about a little girl named Travesty, which is an especially unfortunate sign of illiteracy more than anything else.

-J

[eric42434224]

I read about some Hatian couple (I think, not sure) that named their kid....and it was pronounced Sha-theed.
Yes...it was spelled Shithead.   

[rumborak]

Germany has a not-often-invoked law against unusually cruel names. Sad that it has to be there, but it certainly has done good things for a few children.

rumborak

[El Barto]

Pimptarius!  That's awesome.

I think the adoptive parent being able to rename the kiddo is a no-brainer.  The important question is should the welfare folk be able to change his/her name to greatly increase the chances of being adopted.  Fair or not, if presented with little Tequila-Jazmynne Washington, I'm probably going to question the young lady's heredity.  "I think I'll be taking Lisa Sullivan over there, thanks."

Germany has a not-often-invoked law against unusually cruel names. Sad that it has to be there, but it certainly has done good things for a few children.

rumborak

Might one infer that the names were associated with der Führer?

[BlobVanDam]

Germany has a not-often-invoked law against unusually cruel names. Sad that it has to be there, but it certainly has done good things for a few children.

rumborak

I *think* Australia has something like that.
Although obviously celebrities should be exempt from such silly laws. What's the use of being a celebrity if you can't name your kid Moon Unit?

[rumborak]

@EB: Only a few Nazi-related names have been tried and rejected. The more common stuff was e.g. Pinocchio, Pumuckl, Osama bin Laden, and there was also a woman who tried to give her baby 12 first names. She had to settle for 5. Interestingly, Biblical names with negative connotations are also not allowed. So, no Judas and Cain (Or Pontius I assume) . Jesus used to be rejected but is now allowed due to influx from Spanish-speaking countries.
I once worked with a guy named Zeus.

rumborak

[soundgarden]

@EB: Only a few Nazi-related names have been tried and rejected. The more common stuff was e.g. Pinocchio, Pumuckl, Osama bin Laden, and there was also a woman who tried to give her baby 12 first names. She had to settle for 5. Interestingly, Biblical names with negative connotations are also not allowed. So, no Judas and Cain (Or Pontius I assume) . Jesus used to be rejected but is now allowed due to influx from Spanish-speaking countries.
I once worked with a guy named Zeus.

rumborak

I worked with an Aphrodite once.  Also my ex's sister was named Manmheet (pronounced Man-meat).

[Orbert]

A Boy Named Sue by Shel Silverstein

Well, my daddy left home when I was three
And he didn't leave much to Ma and me
Just this old guitar and a bottle of booze
Now I don't blame him because he run and hid
But the meanest thing that he ever did
Was before he left he went and named me Sue

Well he must have thought it was quite a joke
And it got lots of laughs from a lot of folks
It seems I had to fight my whole life through
Some gal would giggle and I'd get red
And some guy would laugh and I'd bust his head
I tell you, life ain't easy for a boy named Sue

Well I grew up quick and I grew up mean
My fists got hard and my wits got keen
I roamed from town to town to hide my shame
But I made me a vow to the moon and the stars
I'd search the honky tonks and bars
And kill that man that gave me that awful name

It was Gatlinburg in mid July
And I had just hit town and my throat was dry
I thought I'd stop and have myself a brew
At an old saloon in a street of mud
And at a table dealing stud
Sat the dirty mangy dog that named me Sue

Well I knew that snake was my own sweet dad
From a worn-out picture that my mother had
And I knew the scar on his cheek and his evil eye
He was big and bent and gray and old
And I looked at him and my blood ran cold
And I said, "My name is Sue. How do you do? Now you're gonna die."

Well, I hit him right between the eyes
And he went down but to my surprise
He came up with a knife and cut off a piece of my ear
But I busted a chair right across his teeth
And we crashed through the wall and into the street
Kicking and a-gouging in the mud and the blood and the beer

I tell you I've fought tougher men
But I really can't remember when
He kicked like a mule and bit like a crocodile
I heard him laughin' then I heard him cussin'
He went for his gun and I pulled mine first
He stood there looking at me and I saw him smile

And he said, "Son, this world is rough
And if a man's gonna make it, he's gotta be tough
And I knew I wouldn't be there to help you along
So I gave you that name and I said 'Goodbye'
I knew you'd have to get tough or die
And it's that name that helped to make you strong."

He said, "Now you have just fought one helluva fight
And I know you hate me and you've got the right
To kill me now and I wouldn't blame you if you do
But you ought to thank me before I die
For the gravel in your guts and the spit in your eye
Because I'm the son of a bitch that named you Sue."

I got all choked up and I threw down my gun,
I called him pa and he called me son,
And I came away with a different point of view
And I think about him now and then
Every time I tried, every time I win
And if I ever have a son I think I am gonna name him
Bill or George - anything but Sue

[El Barto]

After having my groceries bagged by a girl named Tequlia, it occurred to me that people should name their children after the circumstances of their conception.  At least then there'd be some connection.

Hello, I'm Chardonay, and this is my daughter Roofie.
Pleased to meet you.  I'm Ampicillin Jones.

[rumborak]

Pleased to meet you. My name is Art. Art E. Ficial Insemination.

rumborak

[soundgarden]

Oh, slightly off topic:

Whats the word for names that are descriptive: such as Skywalker, or Indian names like "RunningBull"

Its not epithet.  I ask because my East Indian first name translates to "DarkTree" and my girlfriends grandparents last name translates from Hebrew to "SilverStone"  I love that!

[rumborak]

I'm always incredibly torn on the issue. One the one hand I hate, hate names like "Blossom", "Diamond" etc. On the other hand I know that my name (Ralf) meant, a long time ago, "wise wolf". So, I like that these days my name doesn't mean anything and thus is sort of a "blank sheet" to be written on, on the other hand I know that I would hate somebody to be called "Wisewolf" by their parents these days.

rumborak