Would You Want to Be Raised by a Homosexual Couple?

[Omega]

Not taking any stance or bias to the matter. Just wanted to see how many of you would respond.

[Sigz]

I would want to be raised by good, loving, and supportive parents. I don't care about their gender/sexuality.

[theseoafs]

I would want to be raised by good, loving, and supportive parents. I don't care about their gender/sexuality.

[The King in Crimson]

I would want to be raised by good, loving, and supportive parents. I don't care about their gender/sexuality.

[Chino]

Wouldn't bother me. Growing up I wouldn't know better, and of I didn't turn out to be a fuck up, I wouldn't regret it.

[MasterShakezula]

I would want to be raised by good, loving, and supportive parents. I don't care about their gender/sexuality.

[rumborak]

I think it's fairly clear that, all else being equal, a heterosexual couple is the ideal. But, in the world where dads shoot the laptops of their daughters, I'd take a loving and sane gay couple any day over a yahoo with a cowboy hat and a gun.

rumborak

[Dr. DTVT]

I wouldn't want to be only because I love my parents and think they did a superb job raising me.  That said, I don't have any problem with gay couples raising children or even adopting them if they show they are fit parents - clean criminal record, stable relationship, stable jobs...same things they (should) check for in heterosexual couples.

[Ben_Jamin]

As long as they can explain why I have same sex parents and who the biological mother/father is

[lonestar]

I wouldn't want to be only because I love my parents and think they did a superb job raising me.  That said, I don't have any problem with gay couples raising children or even adopting them if they show they are fit parents - clean criminal record, stable relationship, stable jobs...same things they (should) check for in heterosexual couples.

This.  I really just can't imagine myself as anyone else's kid, and honestly, who the hell would want that job anyways?

[Jamesman42]

I would try it out, though having a kid older than me would be kinda weird

[Progmetty]

In my head it seems like it would go fine if the homosexual parents to a boy were women and the homosexual parents to a girl were guys. The other way around sounds like it would make me a very socially awkward person, just in my imagination as I haven't seen anything like that in real life.
Jamesman42 have you seen the AD episode Surro-Gate?

[Jamesman42]

In my head it seems like it would go fine if the homosexual parents to a boy were women and the homosexual parents to a girl were guys. The other way around sounds like it would make me a very socially awkward person, just in my imagination as I haven't seen anything like that in real life.
Jamesman42 have you seen the AD episode Surro-Gate?

Yeah though I don't remember the plotline...

[Progmetty]

The gay news team decides to have a baby and Stan raises hell about it. "At the end of the day they just wanna dress something up"

[hefdaddy42]

I don't know about "want" because you don't choose your parents.  They are who they are.

But I haven't seen anything to indicate that gay parents would be any worse than straight parents.  Hell, they couldn't be much worse than a lot of what's out there already.

[Vivace]

I think it's fairly clear that, all else being equal, a heterosexual couple is the ideal. But, in the world where dads shoot the laptops of their daughters, I'd take a loving and sane gay couple any day over a yahoo with a cowboy hat and a gun.

rumborak

This is the bigger issue. In an ideal situation where the idea of a family is taken seriously, we wouldn't be having this conversation but the reality is that the social and tradition facets of what a marriage is and what a family is has all but changed in the last 50 to 60 years. To debate if it for the best is arguable since again before this, the argument never existed, only the realization and warning of what might happen. One can only hope that future generations might have a renewal like a Renaissance, with a movement back to the traditional family.

[kirksnosehair]

I would want to be raised by good, loving, and supportive parents. I don't care about their gender/sexuality.

Nail, meet hammer

[snapple]

Can I have two moms? And, I'm not blood related and they're smoking hot? if so, HELLLS YEAH.

I'm kidding. I don't think any of us no would know the difference if we had been raised by a gay couple. I don't want MY kids raised by a gay couple, mostly because I'm straight and plan on making kids. And there is a long list of people my kids would get traded to in the case of a death or 10.

[XJDenton]

I think it's fairly clear that, all else being equal, a heterosexual couple is the ideal. But, in the world where dads shoot the laptops of their daughters, I'd take a loving and sane gay couple any day over a yahoo with a cowboy hat and a gun.

rumborak

Pretty much this.

[gmillerdrake]

I think it's fairly clear that, all else being equal, a heterosexual couple is the ideal. But, in the world where dads shoot the laptops of their disrespectful, ungrateful, snobbish daughters, I'd take a loving and sane gay couple any day over a parent who isn't scared to make a point full well knowing the ultra liberal out there will 'judge' him with a cowboy hat and a gun.

rumborak

[jsem]

Want? No. I wouldn't want to be raised by any other parents than the ones I have.

That being said, there's no data that shows homosexual parenting have worse results - in fact their children often do better because if a homosexual couple chooses to have a child, you know for a fact it's not an accidental child.

Better a gay couple than a single parent generally.

[j]

I think it's fairly clear that, all else being equal, a heterosexual couple is the ideal.

Basically this, I think.  But I think there's something to be said for the scenario that a homosexual couple who wants to adopt has likely put a lot of thought and consideration into raising a child, and so they probably at the very least WANT a kid and are perhaps relatively prepared for one.  Sadly, that alone puts them ahead of the curve.

Still, as rumborak implied, the lack of influence from one of the gender roles in a parent is not ideal and I could see it causing issues with social development in some situations, though I have no data to back up that assertion.

-J

[Phoenix87x]

I would want to be raised by good, loving, and supportive parents. I don't care about their gender/sexuality.

[ehra]

For what it's worth, here's someone who got to experience both:

https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/plxyu/iama_girl_whose_parents_both_turned_out_to_be_gay/

More information:

My biological mother and father decided to separate when I was 12 and my sister was 9. A little while down the road, my mother is dating another woman and my dad is dating another man. After quite a few years of living apart, my biological mom and dad decide to move into one large house with their new partners. My sister, myself, my mom and her partner, and my dad and his partner all live together now.

Edit: I will reply to more comments in a little while! I have to go out for a little bit. Thank you so far for all the very interesting comments and questions.
--------------------- 

Q:Wow.

Ok, so how has that formed your views on sexuality? To be more particular, do you have any problems with gay/lesbian marriage? What do you think of those who (for whatever reason, e.g., religious) have a problem with it? Lastly, and this is serious not flippant, do they have foursomes?


A: Honestly when I was 12, I had a bit of a hard time accepting that I would be "different" from other kids around me. I got over that fairly quickly, and once seeing how much better my parents were as friends, I was happy for them. I have absolutely no problems with gay/lesbian marriage, as long as that is truly how they feel about another person.

As for religious people or people who have a problem with gay marriage, at some points I wanted to hurt anyone who would ever even consider hurting people who choose to be in a same-sex relationship. I saw a lot of pain from both of my parents as they struggled to be who they wanted to be, with two children. There was judgement from both sides of their families and friends, but they are still accepted into their families.

Although I understand that I can not change someone's opinion of gay marriage, and I have come to terms with the fact that people are going to judge, no matter who you are. I hope that one day most people can understand better than they do currently. I know that my parents are still some of the best out of my friends and other family members, and I consider them more normal than anything.

Also, when I was 19 I tried a same-sex relationship, just to understand my parents better and myself possibly. In the end, it wasn't for me, but I have no regrets.

Lastly, I do not believe they have foursomes, for the most part they separate themselves with a door, occasionally talking/having dinner on special days together. If they do, it must be when I am not home haha.


Q: what are the family dynamics? I cannot wrap my head around this at allllll

A: Well, we are most definitely an interesting blended family. My biological mom and dad interact daily, they have funny conversations and mostly just act like friends. My dad and my mom's partner didn't get along as well as we had all hoped at first, a bit of jealousy I believe, but they are totally fine now.

My dad's partner I don't actually care for too much. He seems to have a few screws loose in the head and can act very childish sometimes. My sister feels the same way about him, but we put up with him because my dad is happy.

I don't always have a close relationship with my family. I tend to have extreme opinions on certain subjects which clashes with my parents surprisingly semi-conservative/liberal views. I do try my best to keep my opinions to myself though, just because it causes less argument. My sister is a bit less opinionated and generally stays closer to the family, but when we hang out alone, we are extremely similar.

My mom and my dads partner don't have much of a relationship, as I said before none of us care too much for the man, but my dad is happy so we all try and make him included. My mom's partner and my dad's partner can relate in a certain way, as they have both been kind of thrown into the mix of our previous family arrangement.

Does that help explain the dynamics at all? I know it may seem a bit confusing, tell me if you need any clarification haha.


Q: Are you happy with the arrangement? Seems like everything worked out pretty amazingly...

A: I think it's pretty cool that although my biological parents are separated that they can still live in a house together. I don't think many children's parents who have divorced/separated can say the same as me. I think it has its ups and downs as well though. I used to be able to sneak stuff past my dad but, my mom and dad talk more now and he ALWAYS tells her stuff that I tell him not to tell her, that gets on my nerves


Q: Thanks for the AMA.

    What was the reason for your biological parents separating? If they'd lived together for 12 years, what was missing that caused them to divorce?

    Do you feel that you've (or your sister has) been 'wronged' in any way? That your parents had you when their hearts weren't into it?

    Do you have any other siblings? Any other children in the family planned? (births, adoptions etc)

    What is the best thing about living like this?

    What is the worst?


A: I think that my dad realized he was extremely unhappy with everything surrounding his romantic relationships. I remember he just stopped interacting with everyone. I remember feeling something was going to happen, and my mom talking with my dad for a lonnnnnnnnnnng time. After that, they told us that they were "separating." I didn't want my dad to be unhappy, so I understood.

I do not feel that we were wronged in any way. My parents truly loved my sister and I, and they made sure that the transitions we went through with them were as easy as possible. In fact I think they went a little over board trying to make sure we were OK, no chores, no "time outs," no "you're grounded."

No children that were planned, only me and my sister.

The best thing is that we are all in the same house, and it takes me a hop skip and a jump to get to see my dad. No driving time and I can see both my parents as often as I want.

The worst thing, is being wary about who I tell, and who comes over. As much as I want to openly talk about our lifestyles, I want to protect my family from people who could hurt them physically/emotionally.

Q:Did they get together both knowing the other was gay?? Or was one/both straight going in?

If they were gay going in, did they have kids purely for procreation reasons? Or did they try and please one another best they could?

A: I think that they were very much in love at one point, but I also think that as they progressed through life, they were more and more sure of the feelings that they had. They didn't tell me much about their lives before, or the feelings that they had. They are very private people, but I do know for a fact that they did love each other, maybe they just realized as time went on that it was more a friendly love than anything.

[Omega]

A couple who divorces, then re-marries with corresponding homosexual partners and then decides to live together, with possible extra-marital sexual relations?  I can't reasonably ever come to condone or encourage such decisions and circumstances.

[Sigz]

with possible inter-marital sexual relations? 

Huh?

[antigoon]

I think he means doing the business with their respective ex-partners.

[Omega]

with possible inter-marital sexual relations? 

Huh?

My bad, shizzle ma nizzle.

I meant extra-marital.

[Sigz]

with possible inter-marital sexual relations? 

Huh?

My bad, shizzle ma nizzle.

I meant extra-marital.

Ah but still, what makes you say that? From that thread there was no reason to believe they were swinging or anything.

[Omega]

with possible inter-marital sexual relations? 

Huh?

My bad, shizzle ma nizzle.

I meant extra-marital.

Ah but still, what makes you say that? From that thread there was no reason to believe they were swinging or anything.

Well we don't know, really, whether they are "having foursomes."

[Sigz]

They're gay.

[Omega]

They're gay.

Well, the both of them lived a hetero life style for who-knows-how-many-years, they allegedly had two children, feelings of jealousy between the once-married man and woman were mentioned, and they choose to live together. Is it that much a stretch of the imagination that they could conceivably participate in bisexual, extra-marital, polygamous affairs?

[Adami]

They're gay.

Well, the both of them lived a hetero life style for who-knows-how-many-years, they allegedly had two children, feelings of jealousy between the once-married man and woman were mentioned, and they choose to live together. Is it that much a stretch of the imagination that they could conceivably participate in bisexual, extra-marital, polygamous affairs?

I'm not sure you understand homosexuality.


Also, I can't be the only one who finds the basic question just a little insulting, am I?

[Omega]

They're gay.

Well, the both of them lived a hetero life style for who-knows-how-many-years, they allegedly had two children, feelings of jealousy between the once-married man and woman were mentioned, and they choose to live together. Is it that much a stretch of the imagination that they could conceivably participate in bisexual, extra-marital, polygamous affairs?

I'm not sure you understand homosexuality.

No, you're right, I don't.

Also, I can't be the only one who finds the basic question just a little insulting, am I?

How so? It's not like I asked "Wouldn't it feel terrible to be raised by a homosexual couple?"

[ehra]

feelings of jealousy between the once-married man and woman were mentioned

I think the jealousy was coming from the partners. As in, their current wife/husband was living with and all chummy with their ex-husband/wife and they didn't like that. Like if you and your wife lived with an ex-wife of yours and you and your ex-wife got along great. Your wife would probably feel some jealousy.