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Author Topic: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)  (Read 91280 times)

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Offline TheGreatPretender

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #490 on: February 27, 2014, 04:44:40 PM »
Quote from: kingshmegland on February 27, 2014, 04:34:32 PM
Um us married guys still love to wank. :lol

Yes, I hear once you get married, she'll never be open again.
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Offline rumborak

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #491 on: February 27, 2014, 05:48:06 PM »
I was told there's a new wife whore for each one that is lying.
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Offline TheGreatPretender

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #492 on: February 27, 2014, 05:49:03 PM »
Well, there are some 1-900 numbers to call on, when I feel alone.
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Online Zydar

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #493 on: February 27, 2014, 11:18:20 PM »
And afraid :zydar:
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Quote from: Odysseus on August 25, 2012, 04:03:44 AM
Zydar is my new hero.  I just laughed so hard I nearly shat.

Offline Grizz

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #494 on: February 28, 2014, 06:45:13 AM »
But if you dream of the next girl,
You'll find yourself
Swimming in a lake of fiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiire
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Quote from: Madman Shepherd on May 13, 2014, 05:20:34 PM
"I raised the baby, I changed the baby's diapers.  Whenever the baby had projectile diarrhea, I was there in the line of fire.  I even got a little in my mouth!  I sacrificed so much for my baby.  Now my baby hates me and thinks Mike Mangini is its real father!"

Offline Enalya

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #495 on: February 28, 2014, 06:45:36 AM »
Quote from: DreamTension on February 16, 2012, 08:25:40 PM
What do you call a foot with six toes?





ADTOE

omg lol :lol
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Offline Enalya

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #496 on: February 28, 2014, 06:52:18 AM »
What would Jordan have if he would fart in your face?

A rudeass.
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Online Zydar

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #497 on: February 28, 2014, 06:53:12 AM »
:lol
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Quote from: Odysseus on August 25, 2012, 04:03:44 AM
Zydar is my new hero.  I just laughed so hard I nearly shat.

Offline GasparXR

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #498 on: February 28, 2014, 07:24:25 AM »
Quote from: Enalya on February 28, 2014, 06:45:36 AM
Quote from: DreamTension on February 16, 2012, 08:25:40 PM
What do you call a foot with six toes?





ADTOE

omg lol :lol

I had totally forgotten about this one! I'm pretty sure I used it in real life somewhere. :rollin
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Offline Kotowboy

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #499 on: March 02, 2014, 07:38:49 PM »
Does Petrucci Even Lift ?


Yes. Petrucci lifts. Have you seen a pic of him recently ?


DAYUM.



Does Petrucci prefer Coke Or Pepsi ?


... You would have to ask him - I don't know.....



.. i don't even know his favourite drink from Starbucks and that's like his 2nd home......



Portnoy was the coke guy in the band. . . . Mangini probably drinks pepsi as it's the choice of A NEW GENIE-ration.
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Online King Postwhore

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #500 on: March 02, 2014, 07:46:59 PM »
John Myung walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.  The bartender asks, "Where'd you get him?" and the parrot answers Berklee.
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Offline Sacul

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #501 on: March 02, 2014, 08:32:57 PM »
Quote from: Kotowboy on March 02, 2014, 07:38:49 PM
Does Petrucci Even Lift ?
He lifts shadows off a dream.
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Offline TheGreatPretender

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #502 on: March 03, 2014, 12:01:47 AM »
Quote from: kingshmegland on March 02, 2014, 07:46:59 PM
John Myung walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder.  The bartender asks, "Where'd you get him?" and the parrot answers Berklee.

 :lol

I like that. The question is, what's LaBrie's parrot doing with Myung?   :yarr
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Offline Grizz

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #503 on: March 03, 2014, 12:30:27 PM »
Quote from: Kotowboy on March 02, 2014, 07:38:49 PM
Portnoy was the coke guy in the band. . . . Mangini probably drinks pepsi as it's the choice of A NEW GENIE-ration.
No. Pepsi is a Lars drink.
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Quote from: Madman Shepherd on May 13, 2014, 05:20:34 PM
"I raised the baby, I changed the baby's diapers.  Whenever the baby had projectile diarrhea, I was there in the line of fire.  I even got a little in my mouth!  I sacrificed so much for my baby.  Now my baby hates me and thinks Mike Mangini is its real father!"

Offline PeaceLoveMetal7

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #504 on: March 03, 2014, 01:02:49 PM »
Over the past couple of months it's been really cold here (in the northeastern US) and awhile ago my boyfriend and I were complaining to each other via text about how cold it was... using Dream Theater puns. This is normal for us. We generally find this humorous, so enjoy.
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Offline ?

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #505 on: March 03, 2014, 01:39:39 PM »
DT puns are always welcome at this forum :D
Quote from: Kotowboy on March 02, 2014, 07:38:49 PM
Does Petrucci Even Lift ?
Does LaBrie even forklift?
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Offline Kotowboy

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #506 on: March 03, 2014, 05:17:55 PM »
Quote from: Grizz on March 03, 2014, 12:30:27 PM
Quote from: Kotowboy on March 02, 2014, 07:38:49 PM
Portnoy was the coke guy in the band. . . . Mangini probably drinks pepsi as it's the choice of A NEW GENIE-ration.
No. Pepsi is a Lars drink.

Lars Ulrich is a diet coke with lime guy. He has HQ stocked with it.
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Offline MinistryOfLostSouls

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #507 on: March 04, 2014, 10:31:23 PM »
Why couldn't the verse riff from Another Day get into the bar?

Because it was A minor. 
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Offline GasparXR

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #508 on: March 04, 2014, 11:49:00 PM »
Quote from: MinistryOfLostSouls on March 04, 2014, 10:31:23 PM
Why couldn't the verse riff from Another Day get into the bar?

Because it was A minor. 

The bartender was a pedophile, I think. He should have let Another Day in, given that it was Ab Minor and all.
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Offline TheGreatPretender

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #509 on: March 05, 2014, 12:05:33 AM »
Quote from: GasparXR on March 04, 2014, 11:49:00 PM
Quote from: MinistryOfLostSouls on March 04, 2014, 10:31:23 PM
Why couldn't the verse riff from Another Day get into the bar?

Because it was A minor. 

The bartender was a pedophile, I think. He should have let Another Day in, given that it was Ab Minor and all.

Yeah, but maybe that's the problem. Because it was too flat.
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Offline MinistryOfLostSouls

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #510 on: March 05, 2014, 12:10:10 AM »
Quote from: TheGreatPretender on March 05, 2014, 12:05:33 AM
Quote from: GasparXR on March 04, 2014, 11:49:00 PM
Quote from: MinistryOfLostSouls on March 04, 2014, 10:31:23 PM
Why couldn't the verse riff from Another Day get into the bar?

Because it was A minor. 

The bartender was a pedophile, I think. He should have let Another Day in, given that it was Ab Minor and all.

Yeah, but maybe that's the problem. Because it was too flat.
Quote from: GasparXR on March 04, 2014, 11:49:00 PM
Quote from: MinistryOfLostSouls on March 04, 2014, 10:31:23 PM
Why couldn't the verse riff from Another Day get into the bar?

Because it was A minor. 

The bartender was a pedophile, I think. He should have let Another Day in, given that it was Ab Minor and all.

Apparently, the song Another Day is now female, and underage, even though she was technically born in 1992.
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Offline GasparXR

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #511 on: March 05, 2014, 12:11:16 AM »
It's an old joke. I fell off my prog dinosaur.
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Offline Grizz

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #512 on: March 05, 2014, 04:35:45 PM »
Five was hungry. Five ate nuggetz.
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Quote from: Madman Shepherd on May 13, 2014, 05:20:34 PM
"I raised the baby, I changed the baby's diapers.  Whenever the baby had projectile diarrhea, I was there in the line of fire.  I even got a little in my mouth!  I sacrificed so much for my baby.  Now my baby hates me and thinks Mike Mangini is its real father!"

Offline MinistryOfLostSouls

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #513 on: March 05, 2014, 04:48:14 PM »
I always thought an amazing Super Group would be  Cream Theater featuring Eric Clapton (Old Slow Hand), and John Petrucci (Senior Speedy Fingers)  Finally, Clapton and Petrucci meet up to record one of the most unevenly matched  guitar legend albums ever released.
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Offline TheGreatPretender

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #514 on: March 05, 2014, 06:01:55 PM »
Quote from: Grizz on March 05, 2014, 04:35:45 PM
Five was hungry. Five ate nuggetz.

 :rollin

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Offline Kotowboy

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #515 on: March 06, 2014, 05:52:03 AM »
What is the best way to wake up a ninja ?

Throw him in the stream of consciousness :neverusethis:
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Offline Invisible

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #516 on: March 06, 2014, 06:01:43 PM »
- What does James say when he gets to his house?

Honey, IIIIII AAAAAM HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME.


- What does John wants to see in a baseball game?

The bigger pitcher

Why did Kevin Moore stopped buying lightbulbs?
Because he had a while to think it over, and in the end he only sees the change light to dark, dark to light, light to dark.
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Offline Grizz

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #517 on: March 07, 2014, 07:22:19 PM »
Well that and his local Home Depot will never be open again.
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Quote from: Madman Shepherd on May 13, 2014, 05:20:34 PM
"I raised the baby, I changed the baby's diapers.  Whenever the baby had projectile diarrhea, I was there in the line of fire.  I even got a little in my mouth!  I sacrificed so much for my baby.  Now my baby hates me and thinks Mike Mangini is its real father!"

Offline TheGreatPretender

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #518 on: March 07, 2014, 07:36:47 PM »
Quote from: Invisible on March 06, 2014, 06:01:43 PM
- What does James say when he gets to his house?

Honey, IIIIII AAAAAM HOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOME.


- What does John wants to see in a baseball game?

The bigger pitcher

Why did Kevin Moore stopped buying lightbulbs?
Because he had a while to think it over, and in the end he only sees the change light to dark, dark to light, light to dark.

Sorry, beat ya to it!  ;D https://www.dreamtheaterforums.org/boards/index.php?topic=30812.msg1754046#msg1754046
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Offline Invisible

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #519 on: March 07, 2014, 08:09:40 PM »
Damn! :facepalm: I was pretty sure no one did that before! I was also ninja'd the BearTracks joke :loser:
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Offline TheGreatPretender

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #520 on: March 07, 2014, 08:26:25 PM »
What are DT members' favorite Disney movies?

MM - Aladdin
JLB - Peter Pan
JR - Sword in the Stone
JP - Brother Bear
JM - 3 Ninjas
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Offline aprilethereal

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #521 on: March 09, 2014, 11:25:15 AM »
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Offline TheGreatPretender

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #522 on: April 14, 2014, 04:15:12 PM »
Why will I be listening to DT12 this upcoming sunday?
To get the Easter Egg at the end of it!
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Offline Kotowboy

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #523 on: April 15, 2014, 10:12:34 PM »
To continue the Easter Egg theme....

Q : Are any of Dream Theater Easter Eggs ?

A  : No.
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Offline Nearmyth

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Re: Post bad DT jokes (for fun)
« Reply #524 on: April 15, 2014, 10:21:52 PM »
Quote from: Grizz on March 05, 2014, 04:35:45 PM
Five was hungry. Five ate nuggetz.

This was probably the simplest one, but it's the only one that made me laugh out loud  :lol
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