I think you're trying to force yourself into being something you might not be. I've met you, remember, you just seemed to be a quiet type. Maybe you were uncomfortable, I don't know, but you seemed to be OK with being a listener, not a leader. Just take the time to develop the person you are, and don't waste energy on trying to be something you're not. I'm a listener too, sometimes watching my friends have a good time is all I need, I take enjoyment in others happiness. Most importantly, I understand my limitations and pay attention to where I'm at at the moment. I try to be aware of the concerns of others, it is in satisfying their needs that I find fulfillment for myself, that is just the type of person I am. There is a need for every type of person, just make sure that you are present in the type you were meant to be so you can be there when the need for you is at hand.