Dating women with kids

[AndyDT]

Has anybody done this? What's the biblical view of it?

As far as I know if a woman is separated it's unbiblical to date her anyway. If she's divorced it's possibly ok but there are issues about child-rearing. But what if she never married and had kids?

[rumborak]

Frankly, it's always been a No for me. Somehow my biology kicks in and tells me instinctively that I shouldn't rear the child. Interestingly, I have had a conversation with a single woman with child who said herself that she doesn't blame any man for shying away from it.
What the Bible says, dunno. Keep in mind that society looked very different in those days. Probably somewhat similar like India still is, where a woman without a husband is essentially an Untouchable, many of them committing suicide as the result (or even opting to be burned alive with their deceased husband to not endure that fate)

rumborak

[AndyDT]

It's funny though isn't it that the women with kids don't feel the same. Are they looking for somebody to bring them up or to have a partner?

[hefdaddy42]

When I met my wife, she was separated and had a child.  We have been together ever since.

AFAIK there is no biblical view on dating women with kids.

It's a different ball game, to be sure.  From the beginning, the child is part of the equation.  You can't date the woman without any impact from the child on the relationship.  So if all you want is a fling or nothing serious, you should probably move on to someone else, because if the relationship lasts for any length of time, you will become part of the child's life as well, and vice versa.

In my case, everything worked out for the best.  Her divorce became final, and her POS ex gave up his parental rights, enabling me to adopt the child after we had been married a year.  And we all lived happily ever after.

[obscure]

Hate me all you want but.... I consider the peripheral things irrelevant to a true love...
and gotta love mums.... and sinless kids....


.... and respect Hef! you appear to be such a great man... with every post...comment.. opinion and attitude...


Edit: I respect everyone's thought btw... this is such a delicate subject.... what really matters is being honest to yourself and to the woman... and if you think that it's not sth for you, just stay away from them... I hate it when men be with a woman with kids and consider themselves doing a favor to the lady.... that's such a big lie.....

[Chino]

I have nothing to contribute in terms of a biblical view, but I would have no problem with dating a women with a child.

[PraXis]

I've dated women with kids, but ALWAYS told them out front I am NOT looking to be a father right now, and that I'm only in it for the fun in the casual sense. Surprisingly, it works out more often than I originally thought.

[Dark Castle]

I have nothing to contribute in terms of a biblical view, but I would have no problem with dating a women with a child.

This is me spot on.  Except since I'm only 18 going 19, the child would have to be pretty young.
Hey, I never said I wouldn't date an older woman 

[antigoon]

I would not want that (to be a bit insensitive) baggage at this stage in my life. At 22 I think I'm a bit too young for that.

[PraXis]

I would not want that (to be a bit insensitive) baggage at this stage in my life. At 22 I think I'm a bit too young for that.

I'm 27, but mostly go for the cougars now. You don't even have to try to pick them up. 

[TempusVox]

There is no rule that says you have to be a father to the kid. MOST kids from single parent (divorced) homes have a father who does just fine, thank you. As Hef pointed out you do have to consider the kid. It is really up to the mother to make sure she doesn't put too many expectations on the relationship in the eyes of the child(ren), until such time as the relationship begins to get serious. My son never met anyone I dated casually after his mother and I got divorced. He was really young and it would have just confused him in my opinion. He met the current Mrs. Vox only after the relationship took a very serious turn. Other women knew I had a child and knew all about him, and many wanted to meet him but I thought this to be unfair to them but more importantly my son. I think things would be much easier if more people took this approach. Even if you wind up getting married, you still don't have to be anyones father, but you better be damn well prepared to have a family! 

[Dr. DTVT]

From your athiest scholar of all people...there is nothing against dating a woman with child(ren) in Christianity.  People didn't live very long back then, particularly men, and it was not terribly uncommon.   Then again those were mostly widowed women as divorse was uncommon in Christianity due to social pressure.

[TAC]

When I met the future Lovely Mrs. TAC, her son was 5. My step son is now 21.

[obscure]

[ReaperKK]

Well I can't comment from a biblical point of view but I once dated a girl with kids, I was only 23 then so it didn't work out. I don't think I'd want to date a girl with kids, at least not yet. I'm not opposed to it but I don't really see it happening anytime soon.

[Jamesman42]

Yeah, not opposed to it, but I mean, I'm 25 and it's not something I would look forward to. Then again, if you meet a girl you like and it's great chemistry and she happens to have a kid, it depends. I've liked a few girls that have kids but after moving on, I realized that I was glad I didn't. I think I am too young even now to want to consider that.

[LieLowTheWantedMan]

I'm 17, and I don't plan on it.