The official Frontiers Softcock Shit thread

[bl5150]

Nothing remotely new here but I found it pretty easy listening

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vP-uu0lzyBI    (Joel Hoekstra)


The first thing that jumped out at me (without knowing who was involved) ....Jeff Scott Soto on backing vox.  He has one of the most recognisable sounds ever.

[bl5150]

I see David Lee Roth is now acting as wardrobe/hair consultant to Jorn

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXJM_kMjW9Y&t=5s

[TAC]

[bl5150]

 

[wolfking]

I see David Lee Roth is now acting as wardrobe/hair consultant to Jorn

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IXJM_kMjW9Y&t=5s

I see by the comments this song is going in Eurovision. Gave the song a minute.  Man this guy used to rock so hard.

You're spot on with the DLC comment though. 

[jingle.boy]

Damn... those rhinestones!

Yeah, those two definitely belonged in this thread.  I liked the last Hoekstra-13 album well enough.  I'll give this one a spin when it drops, but not expecting much.

[jingle.boy]

Kade!  KADE!!!! IT HAS PREMIERED!!!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lps3L0acORA

[TAC]

Don't do it!

[wolfking]

Kade!  KADE!!!! IT HAS PREMIERED!!!!!!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Lps3L0acORA

Don't do it!

I'm actually going to watch this tonight and report my thought, strap on your seatbelts gents!

[bl5150]

I predict the word "bitch" is gonna get a workout in this thread shortly 

[wolfking]

I predict the word "bitch" is gonna get a workout in this thread shortly 

Sounds like a challenge to try and restrain myself.  I'll see how I go. 

[ozzy554]

Pretty much what I expected from something posted in this thread. Honestly the thing that bugged me the most was the video. The biggest problem with only having 1 person in the video and no other bandmembers is that during the instrumental parts she has fuck all to do and is just standing around trying to look artsy until the vocals start back up. It just comes across as cheap.....even by Frontiers standards.

[wolfking]

Pretty much what I expected from something posted in this thread. Honestly the thing that bugged me the most was the video. The biggest problem with only having 1 person in the video and no other bandmembers is that during the instrumental parts she has fuck all to do and is just standing around trying to look artsy until the vocals start back up. It just comes across as cheap.....even by Frontiers standards.

I'd rather see a dude play a solo then look at that ugly bitch's face dancing around and look all awkward and non attractive.

I'm guessing someone left the paper bag at home the day of the video shoot?

[wolfking]

I predict the word "bitch" is gonna get a workout in this thread shortly 

Sounds like a challenge to try and restrain myself.  I'll see how I go. 

....aaaaaaaannnd I failed.

[ozzy554]

I refuse to go backwards through this thread but I'm assuming that I'm missing some backstory here

[TAC]

I refuse to go backwards through this thread but I'm assuming that I'm missing some backstory here

Wolfking loves Issa.

[jjrock88]

 

[wolfking]

I refuse to go backwards through this thread but I'm assuming that I'm missing some backstory here

Wolfking loves Issa.

 

[Lowdz]

I predict the word "bitch" is gonna get a workout in this thread shortly 

Sounds like a challenge to try and restrain myself.  I'll see how I go. 

....aaaaaaaannnd I failed.

 

Yeah, I wouldn't either.

[wolfking]

Those keyboards at the start almost had me vomiting within 5 seconds.

That lead guitar line actually was alright with a nice tone but then quickly, this bitch started singing and yep, the paper bag was accidentally left at home.

Fuck, how many unneccesary key changes can we fit into this song in under a minute?  Fuck, we need more just to try and make this bitch sound interesting.

Reminds me heavily of a Find Me song but with shit vocals, and even though this bitch has a decent body, Robbie LaBlanc is still more attractive.

Oh fuck, the second verse and we're into about our fifth fucking key change.

Oh, here comes the Boys of Summer three note guitar melody recycled and used in every third Frontiers song.  Martensson and WET could get away with it but not this bitch!

Okay a solo.....wait, that solo sounds like Mularoni *checks credits* it is!  Dude, don't get suckered in to Del Vicchio' s lair, you actually have some talent.  Your playing for this bitch?  You play with Tom Englund dude, come on!  Oh who by the way is also more attractive. 

Fuck, solo wasn't long enough, she's opening her fucking mouth again.

Lol, another key change?  Fuck off!

What the fuck was that at the end?  You're not Mariah Carey bitch!

The only good thing about this is Mularoni, guitar playing and I guess he's also more attractive than this bitch.

Time to watch some Gary Moore or Children of Bodom.  Haven't decided yet but yeah, fuck that bitch.

[bl5150]

So in summary ...............it's a bitchin' song 

[wolfking]

So in summary ...............it's a bitchin' song 

   you son of a bitch!

[jingle.boy]

Those keyboards at the start almost had me vomiting within 5 seconds.

That lead guitar line actually was alright with a nice tone but then quickly, this bitch started singing and yep, the paper bag was accidentally left at home.

Fuck, how many unneccesary key changes can we fit into this song in under a minute?  Fuck, we need more just to try and make this bitch sound interesting.

Reminds me heavily of a Find Me song but with shit vocals, and even though this bitch has a decent body, Robbie LaBlanc is still more attractive.

Oh fuck, the second verse and we're into about our fifth fucking key change.

Oh, here comes the Boys of Summer three note guitar melody recycled and used in every third Frontiers song.  Martensson and WET could get away with it but not this bitch!

Okay a solo.....wait, that solo sounds like Mularoni *checks credits* it is!  Dude, don't get suckered in to Del Vicchio' s lair, you actually have some talent.  Your playing for this bitch?  You play with Tom Englund dude, come on!  Oh who by the way is also more attractive. 

Fuck, solo wasn't long enough, she's opening her fucking mouth again.

Lol, another key change?  Fuck off!

What the fuck was that at the end?  You're not Mariah Carey bitch!

The only good thing about this is Mularoni, guitar playing and I guess he's also more attractive than this bitch.

Time to watch some Gary Moore or Children of Bodom.  Haven't decided yet but yeah, fuck that bitch.

Glorious... reminds me of the FU rage post.  Thank you for starting my Friday off right.

[Stadler]

Funny thing is, except for the paper bag (she's not THAT unattractive, but then again, I'm not sure I've ever seen Tom Englund! ) most of that rant was spot on.   There was one key change, after the solo, that was as awkward as me talking to girls when I was 17.   And for some reason - might be because I was listening on my computer - her voice when she hit those high, sustaining notes at the end of the verses actually hurt my ears.    I quit listening with about 45 seconds left to read the review, then went back (because I had missed the "Mariah Carey" part) and sure enough, that's what it was, even down to the cheese-filled hand gesture marking out the notes being sung. 

I'm sure she's got some good music somewhere, and I'm certainly not averse to the genre of the song itself, but that was not it's best example right there.   Whoof. 

[Lowdz]

I'm going to have to watch/listen now thanks to Kade 
Wasn't going to touch it (or her) with a ten foot pole.

[Lowdz]

Jesus - I know flashing lights can induce epilepsy but is it the same for music? That song was the equivalent of flashing lights. 
Obviously made up of bits and pieces Frontiers had lying around and thrown together.

She's got an ok voice. Isn't the prettiest. The songs are boring and average in every way. Frontiers!

[MrBoom_shack-a-lack]

Probably some inside joke within this thread or some beef against the singer that I don't know about. I'm not sure why calling her a b**** is necessary. I just knew the video would be budget and cheesy so I just listened to the song on spotify instead, problem solved. It's a decent song, nothing special but I like it. She has a great voice.

[Lowdz]

Probably some inside joke within this thread or some beef against the singer that I don't know about. I'm not sure why calling her a b**** is necessary. I just knew the video would be budget and cheesy so I just listened to the song on spotify instead, problem solved. It's a decent song, nothing special but I like it. She has a great voice.

Its am Australian thing! 

[Stadler]

Probably some inside joke within this thread or some beef against the singer that I don't know about. I'm not sure why calling her a b**** is necessary. I just knew the video would be budget and cheesy so I just listened to the song on spotify instead, problem solved. It's a decent song, nothing special but I like it. She has a great voice.

(I can't speak for Wolfking, but I took the use of "bitch" as 100% a joke; scroll back and it was a running thing for about a page or so. Not that the feelings about the song are a joke - it's really is kind of bland and formulaic - but still...)

[jjrock88]

Wolf and Issa....can’t you two see that you’re in love with each other!

[MrBoom_shack-a-lack]

Probably some inside joke within this thread or some beef against the singer that I don't know about. I'm not sure why calling her a b**** is necessary. I just knew the video would be budget and cheesy so I just listened to the song on spotify instead, problem solved. It's a decent song, nothing special but I like it. She has a great voice.

(I can't speak for Wolfking, but I took the use of "bitch" as 100% a joke; scroll back and it was a running thing for about a page or so. Not that the feelings about the song are a joke - it's really is kind of bland and formulaic - but still...)

That's ok, i'm always cautious reentering this thread once it's marinated for a few months. Never know what kind of state it is in. 

[ozzy554]

Probably some inside joke within this thread or some beef against the singer that I don't know about. I'm not sure why calling her a b**** is necessary. I just knew the video would be budget and cheesy so I just listened to the song on spotify instead, problem solved. It's a decent song, nothing special but I like it. She has a great voice.

(I can't speak for Wolfking, but I took the use of "bitch" as 100% a joke; scroll back and it was a running thing for about a page or so. Not that the feelings about the song are a joke - it's really is kind of bland and formulaic - but still...)

 
That's ok, i'm always cautious reentering this thread once it's marinated for a few months. Never know what kind of state it is in. 

The new title of the thread wasn't a big enough hint?

[Stadler]

Not for nothing, but apparently, across the world the name "Issa" is like "Bob".  There's an "Issa" from Senegal, there's an "Issa" from Japan, there's an "Issa" from Norway (this one).   Man.   I was trying to find some info (age, discography, etc.) and it was like googling "John Smith". 

[ozzy554]

I couldn't even find a Wikipedia page on her and lost interest immediately soon after.

Also the first single for the non JLT Sunstorm came out today. I only made it through about half the song before I tapped out. Just more basic generic stuff.

Someone in the comments called Frontiers a money laundering scheme and I can't stop thinking about that.

[jingle.boy]

Probably some inside joke within this thread or some beef against the singer that I don't know about. I'm not sure why calling her a b**** is necessary. I just knew the video would be budget and cheesy so I just listened to the song on spotify instead, problem solved. It's a decent song, nothing special but I like it. She has a great voice.

(I can't speak for Wolfking, but I took the use of "bitch" as 100% a joke; scroll back and it was a running thing for about a page YEAR or so. Not that the feelings about the song are a joke - it's really is kind of bland and formulaic - but still...)

Fix'd