Author Topic: Child of New Hampshire chokes on new Ice Cream flavor  (Read 1776 times)

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Offline Tripp

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Child of New Hampshire chokes on new Ice Cream flavor
« on: October 30, 2011, 01:19:40 AM »
Later last week, a terrible tragedy occurred where a young boy choked to death on the new Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream flavor. Should we look into what access our kids have to certain foods?

Daniel Evans, 6, passed away after choking on what's now being considered "controversial ice cream" The new ice cream is known for the fudge covered rum and milk chocolate malt balls. While this may be a delectable treat, it should be cautioned to parents that the malt balls are small in size and may cause choking in children. Should children be allowed to buy food items that are able to injure them? It's just like the "choking hazard" found on almost any toy on the market. The same, I believe, should be implemented on food items and the children's buying power should be limited in regards to such items.

I believe that Schweddy Balls should no longer be consumed by children, without proper supervision. It's plainly obvious that not every child is able to handle a spoon full of Schweddy Balls, and take it all in at once. Choking will be a major problem, especially from uncaring children such as Daniel. I've yet to hear of any other stories regarding Schweddy Balls, but I'm sure there will be more stories or reports showing up within the next few weeks. This ice cream flavor being left for any child to buy is an injustice to society, even though normally I believe that it is anyone's choice to decide if they would like Schweddy Balls or not, but I think it should be controlled.

- Kent North, an activist in the field of sociology.
hi

Offline Dark Castle

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Re: Child of New Hampshire chokes on new Ice Cream flavor
« Reply #1 on: October 30, 2011, 01:45:18 AM »
Sorry about a kid dying, but that could have been anyfuckingone.  So no, I say no to what he's saying.

Offline Scheavo

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Re: Child of New Hampshire chokes on new Ice Cream flavor
« Reply #2 on: October 30, 2011, 01:51:58 AM »
I believe that Schweddy Balls should no longer be consumed by children, without proper supervision. It's plainly obvious that not every child is able to handle a spoon full of Schweddy Balls, and take it all in at once. Choking will be a major problem, especially from uncaring children such as Daniel. I've yet to hear of any other stories regarding Schweddy Balls, but I'm sure there will be more stories or reports showing up within the next few weeks. This ice cream flavor being left for any child to buy is an injustice to society, even though normally I believe that it is anyone's choice to decide if they would like Schweddy Balls or not, but I think it should be controlled.

- Kent North, an activist in the field of sociology.

You sure this isn't an SNL parody?

The idea is comical either way.

Offline BlobVanDam

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Re: Child of New Hampshire chokes on new Ice Cream flavor
« Reply #3 on: October 30, 2011, 03:45:57 AM »
I believe that Schweddy Balls should no longer be consumed by children, without proper supervision. It's plainly obvious that not every child is able to handle a spoon full of Schweddy Balls, and take it all in at once. Choking will be a major problem, especially from uncaring children such as Daniel. I've yet to hear of any other stories regarding Schweddy Balls, but I'm sure there will be more stories or reports showing up within the next few weeks. This ice cream flavor being left for any child to buy is an injustice to society, even though normally I believe that it is anyone's choice to decide if they would like Schweddy Balls or not, but I think it should be controlled.

- Kent North, an activist in the field of sociology.

You sure this isn't an SNL parody?


I think the bolded part pretty much answers that, along with the endless repetition of "Schweddy Balls", and lack of link. Clearly this is a joke.
Only King could mis-spell a LETTER.
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Offline Scheavo

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Re: Child of New Hampshire chokes on new Ice Cream flavor
« Reply #4 on: October 30, 2011, 03:49:26 AM »
I believe that Schweddy Balls should no longer be consumed by children, without proper supervision. It's plainly obvious that not every child is able to handle a spoon full of Schweddy Balls, and take it all in at once. Choking will be a major problem, especially from uncaring children such as Daniel. I've yet to hear of any other stories regarding Schweddy Balls, but I'm sure there will be more stories or reports showing up within the next few weeks. This ice cream flavor being left for any child to buy is an injustice to society, even though normally I believe that it is anyone's choice to decide if they would like Schweddy Balls or not, but I think it should be controlled.

- Kent North, an activist in the field of sociology.

You sure this isn't an SNL parody?


I think the bolded part pretty much answers that, along with the endless repetition of "Schweddy Balls", and lack of link. Clearly this is a joke.

Well, Ben and Jerries did recently release a "Schweddy Balls" flavor, so it's not completely impossible.

Offline BlobVanDam

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Re: Child of New Hampshire chokes on new Ice Cream flavor
« Reply #5 on: October 30, 2011, 03:57:37 AM »
I know the ice cream is real, but the article is intentionally written to play the bad pun repeatedly, and there's nothing to substantiate the existence of this article, or the writer.
Only King could mis-spell a LETTER.
Yep. I think the only party in the MP/DT situation that hasn't moved on is DTF.

Offline rumborak

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Re: Child of New Hampshire chokes on new Ice Cream flavor
« Reply #6 on: October 30, 2011, 04:59:26 AM »
Yeah, it reads totally fake.

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Offline Rathma

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Re: Child of New Hampshire chokes on new Ice Cream flavor
« Reply #7 on: October 30, 2011, 07:33:44 AM »
Child of New Hampshire

Offline MasterShakezula

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Re: Child of New Hampshire chokes on new Ice Cream flavor
« Reply #8 on: October 30, 2011, 07:35:11 AM »
How in the fuck does a fully-functioning person choke to death on ice cream? 

In addiction, how is this exactly political or religious?

Was the boy an atheist libertarian?
« Last Edit: October 30, 2011, 07:40:14 AM by MasterShakezula »

Online ReaperKK

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Re: Child of New Hampshire chokes on new Ice Cream flavor
« Reply #9 on: October 30, 2011, 07:55:42 AM »
I could have believed it the first couple paragraphs but the spoonful of shweddy balls immediately screamed fake :lol

Offline Ben_Jamin

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Re: Child of New Hampshire chokes on new Ice Cream flavor
« Reply #10 on: October 30, 2011, 11:21:04 AM »
Well he obviously didn't learn how to chew his food.
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