Amusing instructions

[ariich]

So next weekend I'm gonna have a jam session with a couple of friends from work, so bought myself some new earplugs, and the following are quoted directly from the little instruction manual that comes with them:

"A light moistening of the flanges simplifies fitting."

"Remove with a slow twisting motion."

"Clean the flanges with warm water and soft hand soap."

"Blow dry the canal and dry the flanges."

"When clean and dry, reinsert the stem into the flange."

I know it's puerile of me, but these all had me giggling hysterically, and it makes you think - they must have been aware of the innuendo when writing them, surely!

Anyone else got any good examples of this kind of thing?

[obscure]

 

[El Barto]

Toothpicks:
Hold stick near center of its length.
Moisten pointed end in mouth.
Insert in tooth space, blunt end next to gum.
Use gentle in-and-out motion.

It seemed to me that any civilisation that had so far lost its head as to need to include a set of detailed instructions for use in a package of toothpicks, was no longer a civilisation in which I could live and stay sane.