Abstinence for charity (love)

[AndyDT]

 I'd say if you want to know if you have an ego try not sleeping with your wife or  wanking and watching porn for a month and watch the excuses and shadows appear thick and fast.

If anybody doubts how Gandhi got hundreds of millions of followers by the time of his death look no further than palate control and abstinence from sex.

It seems to me it's the one thing everybody isn't doing. People are doing marathons, climbs or whatever but as soon as it comes to facing down your own ego with abstinence I'd guess people would rather climb K2 than fast for 24 hours let alone longer. I found the biggest problem when I did this was not hunger pangs but my mind trying to feel sorry for itself and I had to keep saying I'm doing this for positive reasons.

Also, quitting alcohol turned my life around in some ways. I couldn't see it but read that the Kabbalah said your powers are locked in your addictions.

I read about Gandhi, in his autobiography, just seemingly casually doing a 3day fast out of mistreatment of workers on one occasion. I mentioned to somebody I was fasting when he asked why I wasn't eating and within two weeks several other people did a fast and announced it. Coincidence? Maybe.

It seems that palate control, fasting and abstinence from sex are two of the most powerful things a human can do.

So I was going to experiment with a 24 hour fast one day a month for the next year. Do you think people would give money for fasting for charity? Would you, personally? Any positive comments, ideas would be welcome.

[rumborak]

I dunno, dude. Can I be honest? It seems you're not doing this fasting so much for the betterment of yourself or some cause, but rather to show other people how you think they should be.
Why don't you just let people live their lives they want, and you live yours according to your values? I for one do not see much point in fasting for myself, despite the fact that I admire Ghandi's (and recently Anna Hazare's) fasting for a cause. If people run a marathon for a good cause and to raise money, are you really suggesting they should do better?

rumborak

[Chino]

I always found these things ridiculous. I'm going to pretend like I didn't read the bit about masturbation and sex. I might donate to marathon runner because it's at least promoting being healthy. Starving yourself is not good for you. It fucks with your metabolism and is extremely uncomfortable. You said that the stomach pain wasn't the problem, but the mental distress. What exactly did you think was positive about it (other than putting you're mind to something extreme and not budging)? I don't think I could donate to someone who is refusing to eat. It wouldn't be a whole lot different than donating to someone for standing on one leg, walkin backwards for a day, or not listening to music for a week. Sure its cool you can dedicate your mind to something, but there is no other practical reason for doing it other than saying "hey, can you do this random mental stunt I can?". Maybe is post just proved I have an ego.

I apologize we have different opinions and I did my best to keep this as least offensive as possible. My bad if it doesn't seem that way.

[El Barto]

I'm not sure,  but wasn't Gandhi a pretty serious perv?  I seem to recall him being into some fairly weird shit.

[bosk1]

To approach this from a slightly different angle than the previous posts:

Andy, if you approach sex from the assumption that it has a huge ego component to it, you aren't approaching it from a healthy standpoint to begin with.  It shouldn't be about ego at all.  If you are married (and I realize many wouldn't even consider that qualifier to be mandatory), there is no reason to abstain.  The issue is whether you are engaging in it for selfish reasons or whether you are engaging in it for mutual benefits.  If the former, abstinence is not really the solution.  It's just a means of potentially creating a completely different set of problems and not dealing with the real problem of selfishness.  That's my two cents.

[rumborak]

I would argue that the vast majority of people, despite what maybe some juvenile male youngsters claim of themselves, when it actually gets to it, don't bang a girl for selfish reasons, but actually because it is the ultimate intimacy (which is anything but selfish).
I am only going by my own instincts here, but I have the impression that all these rather academicized discussions about sexuality by Andy are a result of a distinct lack thereof.

rumborak

[AndyDT]

To approach this from a slightly different angle than the previous posts:

Andy, if you approach sex from the assumption that it has a huge ego component to it, you aren't approaching it from a healthy standpoint to begin with.  It shouldn't be about ego at all.  If you are married (and I realize many wouldn't even consider that qualifier to be mandatory), there is no reason to abstain.  The issue is whether you are engaging in it for selfish reasons or whether you are engaging in it for mutual benefits.  If the former, abstinence is not really the solution.  It's just a means of potentially creating a completely different set of problems and not dealing with the real problem of selfishness.  That's my two cents.

If selfishness is an issue then I wouldn't recommend it as not giving of oneself I've heard described as a form of evil and I'm trying to make up for that in general these days in real life. On the other hand if selfishness in one's sex life is a problem then abstinence might well show it up through excuses etc straight away.

[AndyDT]

I would argue that the vast majority of people, despite what maybe some juvenile male youngsters claim of themselves, when it actually gets to it, don't bang a girl for selfish reasons, but actually because it is the ultimate intimacy (which is anything but selfish).
I am only going by my own instincts here, but I have the impression that all these rather academicized discussions about sexuality by Andy are a result of a distinct lack thereof.

rumborak

I'm talking mainly about palate control and fasting. It's not an academic discussion about sex - I'm pretty straightforward when I ask advice about forming/maintaining relationships but this is not really such a thread. Gandhi had been having sex since the age of 13 with his wife - that's 23 years - before he gave up reportedly for life. So there was no lack. I don't propose doing the same so your speculation is wrong.

 I'm talking about fasting and the value of it for charity and the massive power Gandhi showed it had. Most people just can't see that because it looks too simple. But try doing it yourself and watch the excuses, artifice and externalisations (accusing other people of this and that) come out.

[rumborak]

Is considering something a stupid futility an "excuse"?
And Ghandi is different than what you are suggesting; he used his fasting partially as a threat of suicide essentially, to push through political goals in a nonviolent way. He called is fasting; in reality it was hunger strike.

rumborak

[AndyDT]

I'm interested in practicalities as much as anything.

e.g. what do I say when people ask for verification? I can only ask for trust and they'll know the money is going through the charity website anyway.

I think Gandhi knew that fasting was one of the most powerful actions available to a human because it is so drastic and demands so much.

[AndyDT]

First one today:

https://www.justgiving.com/Andrew-W1