Author Topic: The pathetic facebook status thread. (Read 305666 times)

MasterShakezula · « **Reply #2730 on:** July 16, 2011, 06:51:44 AM »

Quote from: alirocker08 on July 16, 2011, 06:47:22 AM

Quote from: MasterShakezula on July 16, 2011, 06:38:49 AM
Are you kidding me?

That's probably his favorite part of the whole procedure!

Just...remind me to watch my back come New Year then, please?

Well, considering your status of hobbies, it shouldn't be too tough to stay alive. In fact, I bet that as long as you keep your head at your normal height or lower, your probability of survival is at least 90%.

Global Laziness · « **Reply #2731 on:** July 16, 2011, 10:14:27 AM »

Posted this morning: "from what I understand, I dislocated my knee getting a lap dance from a stripper...anyone care to fill me in with any other info?"

MasterShakezula · « **Reply #2732 on:** July 16, 2011, 10:15:48 AM »

Quote from: Global Laziness on July 16, 2011, 10:14:27 AM

Posted this morning: "from what I understand, I dislocated my knee getting a lap dance from a stripper...anyone care to fill me in with any other info?"

protip for pathetic person: if you can't remember what you did last night, you DO NOT want to find out!

blackngold29 · « **Reply #2733 on:** July 16, 2011, 11:06:12 PM »

'Do you realize you have the most beautiful face?' he comments on his own post, 'I sing this when I look in the mirror."

MasterShakezula · « **Reply #2734 on:** July 17, 2011, 01:18:10 AM »

Quote from: blackngold29 on July 16, 2011, 11:06:12 PM

'Do you realize you have the most beautiful face?' he comments on his own post, 'I sing this when I look in the mirror."

I'd hate for him go see his reflection in a deep pool.

Gadough · « **Reply #2735 on:** July 18, 2011, 01:39:41 AM »

There's a 20 year old girl on my Facebook that has her middle name as "youaintreadyforthisjelly".

Like...fucking seriously? ugh

MasterShakezula · « **Reply #2736 on:** July 18, 2011, 01:45:02 AM »

Quote from: Gadough on July 18, 2011, 01:39:41 AM

There's a 20 year old girl on my Facebook that has her middle name as "youaintreadyforthisjelly".

Like...fucking seriously? ugh

Wtf does it even mean?

Gadough · « **Reply #2737 on:** July 18, 2011, 01:49:22 AM »

hell if I know

lonestar · « **Reply #2738 on:** July 18, 2011, 02:02:03 AM »

Wow, just, wow.

Zydar · « **Reply #2739 on:** July 18, 2011, 02:03:03 AM »

She must make one mean jelly then.

Gadough · « **Reply #2740 on:** July 18, 2011, 02:05:46 AM »

I was about to post on her wall: "No, but I'd like some peanut butter", but then I realized she's not on my friends list. She just posts alot on another girl's wall.

...Probably for the best, because that joke completely sucks.

lonestar · « **Reply #2741 on:** July 18, 2011, 02:07:35 AM »

Maybe im wrong, but unless it has peanut butter between two pieces of bread and shes making , i really dont want to equate jelly with a woman.

MasterShakezula · « **Reply #2742 on:** July 18, 2011, 02:10:15 AM »

Quote from: lonestar on July 18, 2011, 02:07:35 AM

Maybe im wrong, but unless it has peanut butter between two pieces of bread and shes making , i really dont want to equate jelly with a woman.

What if she's a man and you're a woman?

Gadough · « **Reply #2743 on:** July 18, 2011, 02:11:30 AM »

Wut.

MasterShakezula · « **Reply #2744 on:** July 18, 2011, 02:13:31 AM »

Quote from: Gadough on July 18, 2011, 02:11:30 AM

Wut.

Not too big on the Scorpions, are ye?

Gadough · « **Reply #2745 on:** July 18, 2011, 02:23:13 AM »

Nope.

kári · « **Reply #2746 on:** July 18, 2011, 02:30:55 AM »

Quote from: blackngold29 on July 16, 2011, 11:06:12 PM

'Do you realize you have the most beautiful face?' he comments on his own post, 'I sing this when I look in the mirror."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5zYOKFjpm9s

SPNKr · « **Reply #2747 on:** July 18, 2011, 05:50:24 AM »

Quote from: Gadough on July 18, 2011, 01:39:41 AM

There's a 20 year old girl on my Facebook that has her middle name as "youaintreadyforthisjelly".

Like...fucking seriously? ugh

It means "You Ain't Ready For This Fat".

Gadough · « **Reply #2748 on:** July 18, 2011, 02:53:36 PM »

She's actually very petite. Nice try though.

zxlkho · « **Reply #2749 on:** July 21, 2011, 01:24:40 PM »

"i want some m&ms

dont understand how the vending machine got peanut m&ms but not regular and i cant get peanut bc i got a kid with me thts allergic smh what to do!?!?!"

Bitch really wants some M&M's.

FlyingBIZKIT · « **Reply #2750 on:** July 21, 2011, 01:37:11 PM »

"Rofl! Dude had his comment announced on G4 for Assassin's Creed: Revolutions, and he spelled Assassin's wrong."

Yeah, well you didn't even get the title right.

Gadough · « **Reply #2751 on:** July 21, 2011, 05:16:47 PM »

Quote from: zxlkho on July 21, 2011, 01:24:40 PM

"i want some m&ms :( dont understand how the vending machine got peanut m&ms but not regular and i cant get peanut bc i got a kid with me thts allergic smh what to do!?!?!"

Bitch really wants some M&M's.

You know what to do.

1. Buy that bitch some M&Ms.
2. Give that bitch her M&Ms.
3. Have sex with that bitch as your reward for being so kind.
4. ???
5. Profit!

Fuzzboy · « **Reply #2752 on:** July 21, 2011, 05:18:41 PM »

Quote from: zxlkho on July 21, 2011, 01:24:40 PM

"i want some m&ms dont understand how the vending machine got peanut m&ms but not regular and i cant get peanut bc i got a kid with me thts allergic smh what to do!?!?!"

Bitch really wants some M&M's.

tell that bitch i got some m&ms at home i'll be like yo what up gurl

robwebster · « **Reply #2753 on:** July 22, 2011, 02:41:45 AM »

Quote from: zxlkho on July 21, 2011, 01:24:40 PM

"i want some m&ms dont understand how the vending machine got peanut m&ms but not regular and i cant get peanut bc i got a kid with me thts allergic smh what to do!?!?!"

Bitch really wants some M&M's.

Unless the kid with the allergies has been stitched to her arse Human Centipede style, I'd just have the peanut ones.

MasterShakezula · « **Reply #2754 on:** July 22, 2011, 02:43:37 AM »

Or she could buy a hersheys bar and find the nearest candy coating dispenser.

Fuzzboy · « **Reply #2755 on:** July 22, 2011, 09:47:00 AM »

Quote from: Fuzzboy on July 21, 2011, 05:18:41 PM

Quote from: zxlkho on July 21, 2011, 01:24:40 PM
"i want some m&ms dont understand how the vending machine got peanut m&ms but not regular and i cant get peanut bc i got a kid with me thts allergic smh what to do!?!?!"

Bitch really wants some M&M's.

tell that bitch i got some m&ms at home i'll be like yo what up gurl

Drunk post, ignore it

lonestar · « **Reply #2756 on:** July 22, 2011, 10:12:54 AM »

Or she could eat the peanut ones in front of the kid, all the while explaining to him why he couldnt have them because he was a genetic anamoly and a failure as a human and his parents should have sold him to gypsies at birth.

MasterShakezula · « **Reply #2757 on:** July 22, 2011, 10:56:22 AM »

Quote from: lonestar on July 22, 2011, 10:12:54 AM

Or she could eat the peanut ones in front of the kid, all the while explaining to him why he couldnt have them because he was a genetic anamoly and a failure as a human and his parents should have sold him to gypsies at birth.

Damn, I'd of liked to be a gypsy.

Orbert · « **Reply #2758 on:** July 22, 2011, 11:24:11 AM »

Seriously. I hate the whole deal where no one in the entire class/camp/whatever can enjoy any peanut products because there's one kid who's allergic. Yeah, I feel sorry for the kid, but he can sit in the corner with his special lunch when it's time to eat. Why should 30 other kids be denied the glory of PBJ's or peanut M&M's because of one genetically defective kid?

PlaysLikeMyung · « **Reply #2759 on:** July 22, 2011, 03:44:10 PM »

Quote from: lonestar on July 22, 2011, 10:12:54 AM

Or she could eat the peanut ones in front of the kid, all the while explaining to him why he couldnt have them because he was a genetic anamoly and a failure as a human and his parents should have sold him to gypsies at birth.

Will Rosen "likes" this post

Pirate · « **Reply #2760 on:** July 22, 2011, 06:03:08 PM »

"whos numbers are these.... xxx xxx xxxx....... xxx xxx xxxx....... xxx xxx xxxx.... if u know the person, tell them if they text me one more time im fucking all the cops, bunch of faggots, u guys are fucked"

SPNKr · « **Reply #2761 on:** July 22, 2011, 06:23:06 PM »

^ LOLL WUT

Bringing my babe some noms and a mother energy drink =) the things i do for that man ^_^ ♥

that's what it is

. well can't he do that himself?

Gadough · « **Reply #2762 on:** July 22, 2011, 06:28:45 PM »

Quote from: Pirate on July 22, 2011, 06:03:08 PM

"whos numbers are these.... xxx xxx xxxx....... xxx xxx xxxx....... xxx xxx xxxx.... if u know the person, tell them if they text me one more time im fucking all the cops, bunch of faggots, u guys are fucked"

Haha that's hilarious.

lateralus88 · « **Reply #2763 on:** July 23, 2011, 01:36:07 AM »

Saw this little gem on my news feed just now, thought I'd share it with you:

Gadough · « **Reply #2764 on:** July 23, 2011, 01:39:11 AM »

....scallywag?

Edit: Oh, you've got the language set to pirate.

News: Video of online chat between fans and members of Dream Theater: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sx8cLlXnHpA&feature=youtu.be (*no chickens were harmed during the filming of this chat)

Author Topic: The pathetic facebook status thread. (Read 305666 times)