The pathetic facebook status thread.

[zxlkho]

I think that broke my brain.

[Fuzzboy]

Dawg I heard dey burned lebrons jersey n Cleveland damn Now ain't dat fuccd up I mean sure he is from Ohio nd jus left dem 4 Miami betraying everyone dere bt damn u cuda sold dat on eBay nigga lol

=

Dog, I heard they burned Lebron's jersey in Cleavland. Damn, now that's fucked up, isn't it? I mean, sure, he's from Ohio and just left them for Miami, betraying everyone there, but damn. You could have sold that on eBay, nigga. lol

I think that's right.

[zxlkho]

Do people actually process information in their brains like that? Or do they just write like that because they think they're cool? I truly do not understand how someone can think that way.

[eric42434224]

Dawg I heard dey burned lebrons jersey n Cleveland damn Now ain't dat fuccd up I mean sure he is from Ohio nd jus left dem 4 Miami betraying everyone dere bt damn u cuda sold dat on eBay nigga lol

=

Dog, I heard they burned Lebron's jersey in Cleavland. Damn, now that's fucked up, isn't it? I mean, sure, he's from Ohio and just left them for Miami, betraying everyone there, but damn. You could have sold that on eBay, nigga. lol

I think that's right.

If the Brothas in the movie Airplane were on facebook, that is how they would post.

[DarkEternalNight]

Does anyone else have friends (usually girls) who list their friends as their siblings and parents? 

[zxlkho]

Does anyone else have friends (usually girls) who list their friends as their siblings and parents? 

My sister has about 50 friends listed as siblings




Then won't even friend request me.

[limnides]

Does anyone else have friends (usually girls) who list their friends as their siblings and parents? 

Yeah, my little second cousins do it.  and my sister has her best friend as well as me.

Outside of family, no.  At least not that I've seen.

[LTE]

"my #1 life lesson: if you KNOW that you can do whatever it is your goal is, then go do it. If you THINK you can do whatever it is your trying to do well all I have to say is grow some freaking balls and just do it. What's the worst that can happen?"


Thanks Marcus.

 


"I don't know what's worse: The fact that I got let out of work early by 2.5 hours, or the fact that some of the girls in the dance competition I was working at were eye candy and knowing a single guy like me had no chance with 'em."

[Gadough]

lol:

sTill th@ biGgeSt Bo55 in th@ GaM3 i dnt th@nk These Bitch ass NigGa's Kn0w Watz abt 2go Down !!! H3y i talk shyt cuz i g3t d0wn wit th@ g3t d0wn !!!!! jzt wait 3monthz Im go sUp3r HARD!!!!!!

th3y c@n th@nk th3y saf3 and shyt!!! cuz im gn3 fuc wit u and c watz gn3 haPp3nd still got m3!!!!! im whooP that boiiiii azzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

[Orbert]

You have to have brain damage or something to take longer to type something, which in turn will take others longer to read, just because you think it's cool.

[Birch Boy]

I agree

EDIT: This kid's account got hacked, so here are some of his recent status updates:

I love me some dick....

I love hairy balls

Who wants to tickle my butt hole

Men wanted here

I love the big black ones Darius where u at

Cock chaser

And those are just some samples... there's plenty more where that came front.

[Sigz]

I love the big black ones Darius where u at

 

[Sigz]

im dark like the side of the moon you cant see

[Birch Boy]

I love the big black ones Darius where u at

 

I laughed quite hard at that one too 

[Birch Boy]

The status itself is not pathetic, rather the situation that the status regards.

went to take an order at work tonight, and the little girl at the table told me that I had to wait because she was listening to justin beiber... no, she was not kidding.

[Fuzzboy]

"U kan try t0 dress a hoe lke a nun bt dey wuld still be a hoe...."

[zxlkho]

"U kan try t0 dress a hoe lke a nun bt dey wuld still be a hoe...."

*head asplode*

[blackngold29]

"U kan try t0 dress a hoe lke a nun bt dey wuld still be a hoe...."

Wouldn't writing 't0' take longer than '2'?

Or just write, "Don't judge a book by its cover"?

[Sigz]

"U kan try t0 dress a hoe lke a nun bt dey wuld still be a hoe...."

Wouldn't writing 't0' take longer than '2'?

Or just write, "Don't judge a book by its cover"?

I doubt the person in question knows what a book is, let alone why you shouldn't judge one by its cover.

[Birch Boy]

"U kan try t0 dress a hoe lke a nun bt dey wuld still be a hoe...."

Wouldn't writing 't0' take longer than '2'?

Or just write, "Don't judge a book by its cover"?

I doubt the person in question knows what a book is, let alone why you shouldn't judge one by its cover.

This

[MetalManiac666]

Dawg I heard dey burned lebrons jersey n Cleveland damn Now ain't dat fuccd up I mean sure he is from Ohio nd jus left dem 4 Miami betraying everyone dere bt damn u cuda sold dat on eBay nigga lol

That isn't pathetic, it's brilliant.

[Birch Boy]

Dawg I heard dey burned lebrons jersey n Cleveland damn Now ain't dat fuccd up I mean sure he is from Ohio nd jus left dem 4 Miami betraying everyone dere bt damn u cuda sold dat on eBay nigga lol

That isn't pathetic, it's brilliant.

I agree. I even believe that he has the potential to be the next Steven Hawking, with his intellectual cunning and precise use of rhetoric.

[MetalManiac666]

I have to admit that the last part of that status actually made me lol.

[Gadough]

Dawg I heard dey burned lebrons jersey n Cleveland damn Now ain't dat fuccd up I mean sure he is from Ohio nd jus left dem 4 Miami betraying everyone dere bt damn u cuda sold dat on eBay nigga lol

That isn't pathetic, it's brilliant.

The guy that posted it has the biggest afro I've ever seen in my whole life. I'm not sure why I consider that relevant enough to tell you, but...there you go.

[MetalManiac666]

Makes that status twice as awesome.

[Global Laziness]

Dawg I heard dey burned lebrons jersey n Cleveland damn Now ain't dat fuccd up I mean sure he is from Ohio nd jus left dem 4 Miami betraying everyone dere bt damn u cuda sold dat on eBay nigga lol

That isn't pathetic, it's brilliant.

The guy that posted it has the biggest afro I've ever seen in my whole life. I'm not sure why I consider that relevant enough to tell you, but...there you go.

Subtle racist implications haha. (I kid.)

[Birch Boy]

Cant Sleep? Find yourself waking up during the night? Nervous habits? Waking up early? Constantly thinking? Uncontrollable panic? Paranoia? Territorial? Feeling confused or scared or simply lost? Cant figure out what it is? Maybe, its love ♥

[Gadough]

u already kno me. wat u dnt kno maybe u dnt need ta kno but if u wanna kno then let me kno and i will let u kno

This is much more funny than it is pathetic, actually. I giggle a bit every time I read it.

[blackngold29]

u already kno me. wat u dnt kno maybe u dnt need ta kno but if u wanna kno then let me kno and i will let u kno

This is much more funny than it is pathetic, actually. I giggle a bit every time I read it.

I like that one.

[tri.ad]

Cant Sleep? Find yourself waking up during the night? Nervous habits? Waking up early? Constantly thinking? Uncontrollable panic? Paranoia? Territorial? Feeling confused or scared or simply lost? Cant figure out what it is? Maybe, its love ♥

Definitely.

[Gadough]

Something funny I noticed on my news feed:

[A friend] likes "Facebook statuses where you just want to comment "no one cares."

Directly below that:

[A different friend] "Went to sleep at 4 yesterday and is just now waking up.. && I think I might just go back too sleep! (:"

What appropriate juxtaposition. 

[lateralus88]

Some chick who posted on Avenged Sevenfold's wall:

I love avenged always will my fav song is dear god but that cause when my boyfriend was in th jail th song made me feel better but now I have al there albums

Yeah, dear god is right. 

[Global Laziness]

***** *******  would loike to think that reincarnation exists, so that seh can come back as Beyonce!!!!

[Pirate]

***** *******  would loike to think that reincarnation exists, so that seh can come back as Beyonce!!!!

oh lawdy

[Sigz]

***** ****** is getting a little tired of how self centered social media makes us