Author Topic: The pathetic facebook status thread. (Read 306534 times)

WindMaster · « **Reply #3325 on:** July 04, 2012, 08:54:48 PM »

Dude, i don't even get half those things. I never watched TV as a kid, so that might be it.

Zook · « **Reply #3326 on:** July 04, 2012, 09:12:04 PM »

Quote from: Ben_Jamin on July 02, 2012, 04:43:55 AM

Im still wondering where the hell did all those like if blahblahblah posts arose from.

Like if you've ever used one of these:

Gadough · « **Reply #3327 on:** July 05, 2012, 02:35:24 AM »

I've only ever used outhouses.

BlobVanDam · « **Reply #3328 on:** July 05, 2012, 02:37:24 AM »

I just shit my pants.

Gadough · « **Reply #3329 on:** July 05, 2012, 02:41:14 AM »

That way, you never have to leave your computer. Smart man.

DebraKadabra · « **Reply #3330 on:** July 05, 2012, 02:41:31 AM »

Quote from: Implode on July 04, 2012, 08:44:25 PM

Re: 90's kid rant

It's annoying that teenagers are acting like cranky old men. "BACK IN MY DAY, bluh bluh bluh"

JayOctavarium · « **Reply #3331 on:** August 01, 2012, 04:38:26 PM »

CrimsonSunrise · « **Reply #3332 on:** August 01, 2012, 04:42:22 PM »

Quote from: BlobVanDam on July 05, 2012, 02:37:24 AM

I just shit my pants.

Damn auzzies

Kotowboy · « **Reply #3333 on:** August 01, 2012, 06:16:20 PM »

Quote from: DebraKadabra on July 05, 2012, 02:41:31 AM

Quote from: Implode on July 04, 2012, 08:44:25 PM
Re: 90's kid rant

It's annoying that teenagers are acting like cranky old men. "BACK IN MY DAY, bluh bluh bluh"

That reminds me of those stupid Twitter or Facebook things :

LOL LIKE / RT IF YOU REMEMBER THIS SHOW - YOU WERE A 90's KID LOL

So basically - If you saw this tv show then you were alive when it was shown. Whoop de fucking do.

Kotowboy · « **Reply #3334 on:** August 01, 2012, 06:20:01 PM »

Quote from: Phantasmatron on July 04, 2012, 12:40:54 PM

I agree with Orbert.

And I'm also getting tired of the similar block-text-pictures of "IF YOU REMEMBER THESE SIX TV SHOWS YOU GREW UP IN THIS GENERATION AND YOU'RE THE BEST GENERATION."

The tv you liked when you were young always seems the best. Just when you look back you realise it was actually a bit rubbish.

Ben_Jamin · « **Reply #3335 on:** August 01, 2012, 06:31:04 PM »

The worse ones are "like for heaven scroll for hell"

WindMaster · « **Reply #3336 on:** August 01, 2012, 06:32:02 PM »

WELP, LOOKS LIKE I'M GOING TO HELL.

Kotowboy · « **Reply #3337 on:** August 01, 2012, 06:32:47 PM »

" EVERY DAY A BABY DIES SUM WER IN DA WORLD. LIKE IF YOU CARE SCROLL IF YOU WANT ANOTHA BABEE 2 DIE 2 DAY "

Implode · « **Reply #3338 on:** August 01, 2012, 06:34:00 PM »

Dead baby every day.

Kotowboy · « **Reply #3339 on:** August 01, 2012, 06:35:42 PM »

I LUV U 5 EVA OMG RT IF U CRI EBRY TIME

YtseCullen · « **Reply #3340 on:** August 01, 2012, 06:54:31 PM »

Haven't checked this thread in ages! This last page is fucking gold

I can totally relate hahaha

DebraKadabra · « **Reply #3341 on:** August 01, 2012, 07:23:23 PM »

Quote from: Kotowboy on August 01, 2012, 06:16:20 PM

That reminds me of those stupid Twitter or Facebook things :

LOL LIKE / RT IF YOU REMEMBER THIS SHOW - YOU WERE A 90's KID LOL

So basically - If you saw this tv show then you were alive when it was shown. Whoop de fucking do.

That's not just relegated to 90s stuff though - it's almost like it's goading you to either like/share so you can be one of the "cool people". Fuck that noise, I'm already cool.

ThroughHerEyesDude6 · « **Reply #3342 on:** August 04, 2012, 03:49:18 AM »

If there was an option, I would so like your comment.

...

Fiery Winds · « **Reply #3343 on:** August 05, 2012, 12:12:45 PM »

Those pictures with the block text and fancy fonts are bad enough, but if you just have to post it, make sure there aren't any spelling and grammar mistakes. Improper use of "your" is bad enough, but when you start typing "dicision" I will block you faster than Chuck Norris.

Sketchy · « **Reply #3344 on:** August 05, 2012, 12:21:07 PM »

Yeah, I blocked Chuck Norris pretty quick too.

DebraKadabra · « **Reply #3345 on:** August 05, 2012, 03:46:50 PM »

It's something's particularly funny though, I'll share it and make fun of the bad grammar at the same time. Win win, IMO.

Ultimetalhead · « **Reply #3346 on:** September 04, 2012, 07:47:30 AM »

Friends, I think I found it. The most impressive act of Facebook patheticism.

BlobVanDam · « **Reply #3347 on:** September 04, 2012, 07:50:30 AM »

Yep, that is attention whoring at its finest.

Sir GuitarCozmo · « **Reply #3348 on:** September 04, 2012, 09:19:51 AM »

Quote from: Orbert on July 04, 2012, 09:07:03 AM

"Every woman deserves a man who will love her and treat her with respect and..."

...and I couldn't even finish reading it. It wasn't even text; it was one of those pics of block lettering meant to look profound or something, and I'm sorry, but it's just not true.

Let's face it, some women are just bitches and no, they do not deserve a man who will love them and treat them with respect and clean up their messes and buy them a house and pay for their kids and listen to their shit and whatever the hell else it said. Who comes up with this shit, anyway? Probably some woman who has been dumped a few times and honestly thinks she deserves better than that. And maybe she does. Or maybe she's just a whiny bitch.

Reminded me of Maddox' rant on "26 Things a Perfect Guy Would Do" Link:

Quote

Twenty-six things a perfect guy would do, and other propaganda disseminated by misguided women.

Someone recently sent me an email titled 26 things a perfect guy would do. I thought "hmm, nobody could possibly send me anything so stupid, it can't possibly be as dumb as it sounds." I stand corrected. The email was just as advertised: a wish list of how women supposedly want men to act, as if men in this country weren't already an episode of Friends away from turning into giant walking vaginas.

I never thought I'd ever read anything that would induce my gag reflex so quickly, and this is after having read the details of an anal prolapse that a friend sent me tonight. Here is the abridged list (because the full list might literally cause you to barf on your keyboard, and frankly, it's not worth reading), followed by my response to each "thing" that a "perfect guy would do:"

1. Know how to make you smile when you are down!
When will women realize that they don't live on the set of a romantic comedy? Unless making you smile involves me playing video games while you cook me a steak, you're in for a disappointment. You don't think guys ever feel "down?" The door swings both ways, bitch.

2. Try to secretly smell your hair, but you always notice.
What? Why the hell would I want to smell a woman's hair? It smells bad enough with all the sprays and perfume they use. Enough with the conditioners, sprays, and cream already; that shit makes my eyes water. What the hell is conditioner anyway?

3. Stick up for you, but still respects your independence.
Translation: bail you out when you fail at life, but never bring it up during conversations.

4. Give you the remote control during the game.
This one is inherently stupid because it implies that all guys like to watch "the game." Since I'd rather be shot in the chest with projectile diarrhea than watch "the game," I'll assume the author meant something worthy of watching, such as Ren & Stimpy, in which case you need to put the bitch down if she touches your remote.

5. Come up behind you and put his arms around you.
LAME. Who has time for this? Sounds like something out of a herpes commercial where some lady is rock climbing or doing something else which symbolizes her independence, then out of nowhere she blurts out "I HAVE HERPES." The music gets all serious and you hear a voice over "...there is no cure," cue inspirational music "but treatment is available." Then it cuts to a shot of the bitch on a beach and a guy runs up behind her and puts his arms around her. Good job dumbass, you're dating a skank with herpes.

6. Play with your hair.
Again with the hair? Women never play with the hair on my back, why the double standard?

7. His hands always find yours.
This is one of those things women read and say "AWW HOW ROMANTIC." I have news for you: holding hands is stupid. Women don't know the first thing about being romantic. Only lesbians hold hands anyway; allow me to explain. The only time it's acceptable to hold hands with anyone is if you're at a peace vigil. Guys don't go to peace vigils, period. If you do, you have to surrender your balls and get a sex transplant because you're a bitch; in either case, you're a woman, and when two women hold hands it can only lead to one thing as far as I'm concerned.

8. Be cute when he really wants something.
Bullshit. When I want something, I yell. If she can't hear me in the kitchen, sometimes I'll threaten beatings if I'm sober.

9. Offer you plenty of massages.
For your boobs maybe. I happen to have the uncanny ability to massage breasts. With my mouth.

10. Dance with you, even if he feels like a dork.
Let's face it: there are few things in this world more stupid than dancing. Except break dancing, which pirates and lumber jacks would agree is awesome. Other than that, dancing makes me envy cripples.

11. React so cutely when you hit him and it actually hurts.
See, this is what pisses me off about women: they expect special treatment at their discretion. They want equal rights, equal pay, and equal treatment for everything EXCEPT when it comes to shit like this, then they want you to "react cutely" instead of, say, putting them in a head lock and making them eat ants and/or spiders while you give them carpet burn. Why don't women react "cutely" when men hit them for a change? Oops, I forgot, that's domestic abuse.

12. Drive 5 hours just to see you for 1.
Any guy who would drive five hours just to see a chick for one is an asshole. If every guy drove around for five hours just to spend one with their girlfriend, we'd fill up the air with so much pollution that we'd all choke on the exhaust, get cancer, and then bake under the sun while our lungs rupture and we slowly die from internal bleeding.

13. Stare at you.
You stupid attention seeking whore, just buy the bitch a mirror, because apparently she thinks that you don't have anything better to do than to sit around and stare at her. If women ran the world, we'd still be searching for the wheel.

14. Call for no reason.
Oops, this one belongs on the list of "Twenty-six things women do that piss men off because they need to fill their otherwise vapid lives with something to make them feel like they have a purpose for existing as they eventually realize that they're pissing their youth away on stupid bullshit like fashion trends."

I can't go on, I'm going to go do something less painful like stick my dick in the oven.

Cedar redaC · « **Reply #3349 on:** September 04, 2012, 11:22:22 AM »

one word: 5-ever.

Xanthul · « **Reply #3350 on:** September 04, 2012, 03:52:19 PM »

Old school Maddox rocks

Kotowboy · « **Reply #3351 on:** September 05, 2012, 09:41:37 AM »

Quote

I'll assume the author meant something worthy of watching, such as Ren & Stimpy, in which case you need to put the bitch down if she touches your remote.

Love me some Ren & Stimpy.

Sir GuitarCozmo · « **Reply #3352 on:** September 05, 2012, 10:25:57 AM »

Me too. There was a similar cartoon that was on Cartoon Network for a while, called Cow and Chicken. Same kind of really dry/oddball humor. Really funny.

Ħ · « **Reply #3353 on:** September 05, 2012, 08:49:45 PM »

Cow and Chicken. I freakin loved that show.

jingle.boy · « **Reply #3354 on:** September 05, 2012, 09:59:03 PM »

Quote

If she can't hear me in the kitchen, sometimes I'll threaten beatings if I'm sober.

Thank god I had just taken a leak, or I would've pissed myself.

Sir GuitarCozmo · « **Reply #3355 on:** September 07, 2012, 12:38:21 PM »

Quote from: Ħ on September 05, 2012, 08:49:45 PM

Cow and Chicken. I freakin loved that show.

I gotta look and see if that's still airing on any of the cartoon channels.

Regarding Farcebook, I do not personally have an account, I view the goings on via the band's FB page. What irritates me is when people make these ridiculously ambiguous status updates that are completely open-ended, in hopes that you'll start fishing for information so that they can tell you they'd rather not talk about it publicly. Eat me. If I had a Facebook account, my first post would be something like this:

Quote

Completely ridiculously ambiguous yet attention seeking status update #1:

I can't believe the nerve of some people. You messed with the wrong person...

The ellipsis is key in encouraging others to fish for info that you have no intention of giving them.

Kotowboy · « **Reply #3356 on:** September 07, 2012, 12:44:24 PM »

Yeah it's the indirect shit I really hate...

" Sigh...Here I Go again. "

" So tired of this... "

" Why did I even think it would be different ? "

FUCK OFF WITH THAT WHINY WOE IS ME SHIT.

Sir GuitarCozmo · « **Reply #3357 on:** September 07, 2012, 12:55:45 PM »

Oh my GOD yes. That shit drives me fucking crazy.

Super Dude · « **Reply #3358 on:** September 11, 2012, 10:41:01 AM »

Implode · « **Reply #3359 on:** September 20, 2012, 09:22:01 PM »

More reminders that people are evil.

News: Dreamtheaterforums.org is a place of peace. ...except when it is a place of BEING ON FIRE!!!

Author Topic: The pathetic facebook status thread. (Read 306534 times)