Author Topic: The pathetic facebook status thread.  (Read 303447 times)

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Offline zerogravityfat

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #245 on: August 26, 2009, 09:43:27 AM »
it's cool, if she can't even figure out her basic definitions, she'll be sure to get in the mile high club with the old geezer sitting next to her on the flight.
DTF.  More reliable than the AP since 2009. -millahh

Offline Scurvy!Dreams

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #246 on: August 26, 2009, 05:12:57 PM »
I just saw this:

Quote
  is sitting @ the airort till her 330 flight..fml

With a comment of:

Quote
well to pass time there's the mile high club at the airport :-)

I wasn't aware the definition changed.
Maybe there's a bar called the Mile High Club?

Offline Chino

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #247 on: August 31, 2009, 03:52:47 PM »
" is back to the grind, but not all there today. This week is gonna suck even though im wearing new clothes and new kicks. FML"

Offline DarkLord_Lalinc

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #248 on: August 31, 2009, 03:53:55 PM »
"wants to have sex tonight"  :facepalm:
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Offline Chino

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #249 on: August 31, 2009, 04:07:31 PM »
"wants to have sex tonight"  :facepalm:

male or female?

Offline FuglyDave

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #250 on: August 31, 2009, 04:18:21 PM »
"i cooked my arm on the BQ, anyone for fresh flesh on a bun?"

Apparently my grandmother encourages cannibalism. Awesome.

Offline DarkLord_Lalinc

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #251 on: August 31, 2009, 04:19:55 PM »
Grandmother in facebook = awesome grandmother.
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Offline emindead

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Offline Serpentor

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #253 on: September 01, 2009, 09:35:24 AM »
Now that school is back in session, my homepage is bombarded with all my teacher friends bitching they have to go back to work next week.

Poor babies, you just had 2 months off, get over it.....
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Please kill Icy for Christmas.

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Offline jasc15

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #254 on: September 01, 2009, 02:16:37 PM »
Now that school is back in session, my homepage is bombarded with all my teacher friends bitching they have to go back to work next week.

Poor babies, you just had 2 months off, get over it.....
>:( >:(

Offline Birch Boy

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #255 on: September 01, 2009, 08:04:03 PM »
[Name] Can I ask you something, Why do you want me to die

Offline lateralus88

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #256 on: September 02, 2009, 09:26:11 AM »
" is back to the grind, but not all there today. This week is gonna suck even though im wearing new clothes and new kicks. FML"
Wow...
I felt its length in quite a few places.

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Offline icysk8r

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #257 on: September 02, 2009, 10:20:36 AM »
Ha. i qoot madd stalkersz on myspace. lmao, leave me the hell alone (:
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ZOMG WHAT'S AT BEDECEIVED.COM?

I DUNNO!  CLICK THE DARNED LINK TO FIND OUT!

Offline FuglyDave

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #258 on: September 03, 2009, 04:47:56 AM »
" someone decided to take apart my lawnmower and hide the extension cord -_- wtf"
"OK this is a stupid question.... What dose (Y) mean?"

Offline Super Dude

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #259 on: September 03, 2009, 06:21:26 AM »
 :rollin Wowwww...

Idk about pathetic statuses, but SeRoX is a great source for funny status updates.
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Offline Birch Boy

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #260 on: September 05, 2009, 09:05:51 PM »
"upstairs . text ."

Offline SeRoX

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #261 on: September 05, 2009, 09:10:18 PM »
SeRoX is a great source for funny status updates.

Ohh, thanks. I hope you did what you said. You know, I am great source :yeahright
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Offline Arcaeus

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #262 on: September 05, 2009, 11:46:00 PM »
"is feeling bad beyond the help of his Feel Good playlist. This is new."

later, same guy:

"needs someone to talk to, and yet he can't find anyone among all the people who are willing to listen."

Offline tri.ad

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #263 on: September 06, 2009, 03:18:15 AM »
"is feeling bad beyond the help of his Feel Good playlist. This is new."

later, same guy:

"needs someone to talk to, and yet he can't find anyone among all the people who are willing to listen."

Now that is REALLY pathetic.
... And you ask me: "Where's my hairspray?"

Mentlegen.

Offline Mejan

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #264 on: September 06, 2009, 08:43:25 AM »
"i might actually be dying. not sure yet. well see how i feel after work tomorrow, cause we all know sparky wont help out at all."

"depending on how i'm feeling, i may or may not be going to church :("

Offline Super Dude

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #265 on: September 06, 2009, 10:07:06 AM »
SeRoX is a great source for funny status updates.

Ohh, thanks. I hope you did what you said. You know, I am great source :yeahright

Hey don't feel bad chap, you're a funny dude.  I don't mean to be demeaning in any way.
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As frequently happens, Super Dude nailed it.
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Offline Orbert

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #266 on: September 06, 2009, 03:10:43 PM »
I've got a friend from back home who likes to set his status to "." once in a while.  Then people "like" it and stuff.  I have no idea what it means.

Offline Birch Boy

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #267 on: September 06, 2009, 07:15:53 PM »
I've got a friend from back home who likes to set his status to "." once in a while.  Then people "like" it and stuff.  I have no idea what it means.

Is it once a month? If so, is HE a GIRL?

Offline Portrucci

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #268 on: September 06, 2009, 08:25:45 PM »
I've got a friend from back home who likes to set his status to "." once in a while.  Then people "like" it and stuff.  I have no idea what it means.

Is it once a month? If so, is HE a GIRL?
I see wut you did thar  :laugh:
on par with the anguish one would have from getting unconsensually bent over and buttloved.

Offline Orbert

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #269 on: September 06, 2009, 11:03:36 PM »
One of my other friends gave him some shit about it this time.  "I thought you had your period last week"

Offline Zeltar

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #270 on: September 06, 2009, 11:09:58 PM »
"i hate my life..no one ever is there for me..why me :["

I feel like an asshole for laughing, but iLol'd.

Offline Portrucci

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #271 on: September 06, 2009, 11:13:18 PM »
"pain, pain, go away, come again another day"

Damn angsty teens  ::)
on par with the anguish one would have from getting unconsensually bent over and buttloved.

Offline Mr. Ister

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #272 on: September 07, 2009, 12:45:21 AM »
Haha.  I'm glad I saw this thread.  Today I put up 2 statuses a couple hours apart. 

First:  "Jacob is heating up..."
Second:  "Jacob is on fire!!"

I'm not gonna lie, I'm basically a status guru.  I set a status that said "Jacob B. likes this" and then I clicked "Like" below it so it read

Jacob B likes this
Jacob B likes this

I am changing people's lives one facebook status at a time.
But if the dung comes out
He shits the death upon a man
Throw them a rag
Better to save the menstruate
Then surrender tuna sea crap
Whale!

Offline Chino

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #273 on: September 07, 2009, 10:56:34 AM »
" cannot find a reason to stop crying...."

Offline Chino

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #274 on: September 07, 2009, 12:37:09 PM »
"Dear diary, I've fallen & i cant get up ♥ "

Offline Slain

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #275 on: September 07, 2009, 12:43:27 PM »
"f you could look beyond the negative and find that greater things, the smiles ,laughter,love, happyness comfort, warmpth...then you will find that the arguements meen little to nothing and the stress is a thumbnail compared to what you had."

"this time its over..... and its over for good....dont come crawling back to me when you finaly see what yoeu have lost."

"guess this is the end....... " love is just a camoflauge for what resembles rage"-slipknot"

same kid for all 3. fail.
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Offline Mejan

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #276 on: September 07, 2009, 12:47:48 PM »
"f you could look beyond the negative and find that greater things, the smiles ,laughter,love, happyness comfort, warmpth...then you will find that the arguements meen little to nothing and the stress is a thumbnail compared to what you had."

"this time its over..... and its over for good....dont come crawling back to me when you finaly see what yoeu have lost."

"guess this is the end....... " love is just a camoflauge for what resembles rage"-slipknot"

same kid for all 3. fail.

Heartbreak does a lot of embarrassing things to people. Easpecially as a teenager. This is how to make a shameful idiot of yourself.

Offline TL

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #277 on: September 07, 2009, 01:34:15 PM »
I'm going to start keeping a count of how many times I find out from Facebook status updates that some girl I went to highschool with just accidentally became a mother. I graduated in 2008.

Yeah, I went to a classy highschool.  ::)

Offline Mejan

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #278 on: September 07, 2009, 01:42:11 PM »
I'm going to start keeping a count of how many times I find out from Facebook status updates that some girl I went to highschool with just accidentally became a mother. I graduated in 2008.

Yeah, I went to a classy highschool.  ::)

What was your class size?

Offline TL

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Re: The pathetic facebook status thread.
« Reply #279 on: September 07, 2009, 01:58:56 PM »
I'm going to start keeping a count of how many times I find out from Facebook status updates that some girl I went to highschool with just accidentally became a mother. I graduated in 2008.

Yeah, I went to a classy highschool.  ::)

What was your class size?
If I had to guess, maybe a couple hundred. The number of accidental mothers is apparently even higher among the people I didn't know too.