Author Topic: The "Give Bad Advice" Thread (Read 3888 times)

Super Dude · « **on:** August 28, 2011, 10:50:08 PM »

Ironically, the title of the locked "Homo" thread is what gave me the idea. That and the following story: I went to Harvard summer school this summer, and every afternoon walking back from class there were these two guys standing on a corner who for $1 would offer bad advice. So come DTF, let us all offer bad advice to each other (it can range from the general 'you' to the specific, i.e. Cup)!

DTF, let us all go on a bacon 'n' cheese binge, it'll be a gas (probably literally)!

MasterShakezula · « **Reply #1 on:** August 28, 2011, 10:51:26 PM »

I could really go for some advice in regards to socially interacting with other peers at school-type-functions.

Sigz · « **Reply #2 on:** August 28, 2011, 10:52:33 PM »

Quote from: MasterShakezula on August 28, 2011, 10:51:26 PM

I could really go for some advice in regards to socially interacting with other peers at school-type-functions.

Whatever you think is the right thing to do, do it.

XJDenton · « **Reply #3 on:** August 28, 2011, 10:54:14 PM »

Practice safe sex. When you get out a condom, test its structural strength with a pin before using it.

Super Dude · « **Reply #4 on:** August 28, 2011, 10:54:43 PM »

Quote from: XJDenton on August 28, 2011, 10:54:14 PM

Practice safe sex. When you get out a condom, test its structural strength with a pin before using it.

But not before trying to make it into a balloon animal!

MasterShakezula · « **Reply #5 on:** August 28, 2011, 10:58:07 PM »

If you like a girl, as in, you like her, make sure to tell her straight up about it and always hang around her/practically become her best friend.

You'll lose your virginity so quickly, you won't even realize you've gotten anything.

Super Dude · « **Reply #6 on:** August 28, 2011, 10:59:21 PM »

That's too complicated. Just stick it in her pooper.

And don't forget to yell, "SURPRISE!"

Dimitrius · « **Reply #7 on:** August 28, 2011, 11:15:11 PM »

Make a thread and call it: "The Homo Thread"

Gadough · « **Reply #8 on:** August 28, 2011, 11:17:12 PM »

Quote from: MasterShakezula on August 28, 2011, 10:51:26 PM

I could really go for some advice in regards to socially interacting with other peers at school-type-functions.

Go naked. Bitches will love it.

lonestar · « **Reply #9 on:** August 28, 2011, 11:26:21 PM »

When laying pipe on a girl, call out her sister's name, it adds to the intimacy of the moment.

Oh, and the last twenty years of my life, an absolute script for eternal bliss.

wammabe · « **Reply #10 on:** August 28, 2011, 11:32:27 PM »

Quote from: Dimitrius on August 28, 2011, 11:15:11 PM

Make a thread and call it: "The Homo Thread"

This
If you think trolling and screwing around in youtube is fun try it in your favorite forums!!

I learned an important lesson here, and I hope my reputation isn't as bad as I think it is.

ReaPsTA · « **Reply #11 on:** August 28, 2011, 11:34:45 PM »

Quote from: MasterShakezula on August 28, 2011, 10:51:26 PM

I could really go for some advice in regards to socially interacting with other peers at school-type-functions.

When you're around people in a situation like this, they want to feel comfortable around you. So whatever you do, make sure you scratch your face a lot, and don't be afraid to openly itch and adjust your balls. Only weirdos don't ever do this, so you're assuring them you're normal.

MasterShakezula · « **Reply #12 on:** August 28, 2011, 11:35:20 PM »

Quote from: wammabe on August 28, 2011, 11:32:27 PM

This
If you think trolling and screwing around in youtube is fun try it in your favorite forums!!

I learned an important lesson here, and I hope my reputation isn't as bad as I think it is.

What happened to your avatar and the sig that I was in that was yours, also?

If you're at the mall and really wanna get some tail, sign up to be a mall cop and proceed to spend your entire shift cruising around on your segway. Prog metal t-shirt strictly optional, but highly recommended. Now, a fat suit and pedophile mustache, well, those are mandatory. Unless you're already fat. If they don't accept your job offer, just take on someone who's already a mall cop and steal their uniform.

wammabe · « **Reply #13 on:** August 28, 2011, 11:43:01 PM »

Quote from: MasterShakezula on August 28, 2011, 11:35:20 PM

Quote from: wammabe on August 28, 2011, 11:32:27 PM
This
If you think trolling and screwing around in youtube is fun try it in your favorite forums!!

I learned an important lesson here, and I hope my reputation isn't as bad as I think it is.

What happened to your avatar and the sig that I was in that was yours, also?

If you're at the mall and really wanna get some tail, sign up to be a mall cop and proceed to spend your entire shift cruising around on your segway. Prog metal t-shirt strictly optional, but highly recommended. Now, a fat suit and pedophile mustache, well, those are mandatory. Unless you're already fat. If they don't accept your job offer, just take on someone who's already a mall cop and steal their uniform.

I'll try to get those back. Maybe another avatar though, I wasn't too fond of the "I am thuper" thing.

and to be honest... I'd love to find a girl that digs mall cops with prog shirts...

bout to crash · « **Reply #14 on:** August 28, 2011, 11:49:51 PM »

Okay DTF, what should I do about my career? I am losing my part time social work job soon.

Adami · « **Reply #15 on:** August 28, 2011, 11:51:06 PM »

Quote from: bout to crash on August 28, 2011, 11:49:51 PM

Okay DTF, what should I do about my career? I am losing my part time social work job soon.

Don't move to Chicago.

lonestar · « **Reply #16 on:** August 28, 2011, 11:55:46 PM »

Quote from: bout to crash on August 28, 2011, 11:49:51 PM

Okay DTF, what should I do about my career? I am losing my part time social work job soon.

Print your own money, high profit, low risk....

Or collect underpants.

ReaPsTA · « **Reply #17 on:** August 28, 2011, 11:57:55 PM »

Quote from: bout to crash on August 28, 2011, 11:49:51 PM

Okay DTF, what should I do about my career? I am losing my part time social work job soon.

What are you looking to get out of your next job?

bout to crash · « **Reply #18 on:** August 29, 2011, 12:13:44 AM »

Relevance to the degree I just spent two years busting my ass for... and money.

Fuzzboy · « **Reply #19 on:** August 29, 2011, 12:21:48 AM »

Quote from: bout to crash on August 28, 2011, 11:49:51 PM

Okay DTF, what should I do about my career? I am losing my part time social work job soon.

quit everything, sell crack, become god

MasterShakezula · « **Reply #20 on:** August 29, 2011, 12:27:08 AM »

Don't even bother trying to sell shit.

Just break into a rich person's house, murder them and their family, and proceed to stash up all cash you can find. Also, pawn any precious metals or jewlery that they had around.

LeeHarveyKennedy · « **Reply #21 on:** August 29, 2011, 12:27:37 AM »

Quote from: bout to crash on August 28, 2011, 11:49:51 PM

Okay DTF, what should I do about my career? I am losing my part time social work job soon.

Have you considered pornography?

MetalJunkie · « **Reply #22 on:** August 29, 2011, 01:42:35 AM »

Always forget to check your references...

I think the kids like it when I get down verbally.

alirocker08 · « **Reply #23 on:** August 29, 2011, 05:44:23 AM »

If you're a girl, make sure to get your boobs out in every picture, people will appreciate you for your natural beauty and intelligence.

If you're a boy, go topless no matter what your figure, it displays confidence and assertiveness, sure to get you all the wimminz.

YtseBitsySpider · « **Reply #24 on:** August 29, 2011, 05:49:33 AM »

Quote from: bout to crash on August 28, 2011, 11:49:51 PM

Okay DTF, what should I do about my career? I am losing my part time social work job soon.

if you place...just one add in one newspaper for one week..you can make OVER 250$.....imagine...IMAGINE..if you put 10 adds in 10 papers.....

My bad advice: If you cheat on your significant other, go ahead and tell them, they'd love to know.

Super Dude · « **Reply #25 on:** August 29, 2011, 05:54:52 AM »

Quote from: alirocker08 on August 29, 2011, 05:44:23 AM

If you're a girl, make sure to get your boobs out in every picture, people will appreciate you for your natural beauty and intelligence.

Y'know to be quite honest, while that's certainly bad advice for girls, I can't think of many guys who would complain about that.

jonny108 · « **Reply #26 on:** August 29, 2011, 05:55:51 AM »

Quote from: alirocker08 on August 29, 2011, 05:44:23 AM

If you're a girl, make sure to get your boobs out in every picture, people will appreciate you for your natural beauty and intelligence.

That should be in the good advice thread.

alirocker08 · « **Reply #27 on:** August 29, 2011, 06:08:45 AM »

We have a good advice thread O.o

And yes, very bad advice for girls, here's some more

Go on a girly shop wearing a band t-shirt. No-one will give you funny looks.

Super Dude · « **Reply #28 on:** August 29, 2011, 06:15:05 AM »

Quote from: alirocker08 on August 29, 2011, 06:08:45 AM

We have a good advice thread O.o

And yes, very bad advice for girls, here's some more

Go on a girly shop wearing a band t-shirt. No-one will give you funny looks.

Actually that gives me an idea.

1. Hey girls! Go out and buy a shirt for a band you've only heard two songs from! As long as they're famous, it's free street cred with no strings attached!

2. Hey girls! Go out and a buy a shirt from a creepy goth/metal band! See how many free nerds/creeps you get!

alirocker08 · « **Reply #29 on:** August 29, 2011, 06:25:11 AM »

Quote from: Super Dude on August 29, 2011, 06:15:05 AM

2. Hey girls! Go out and a buy a shirt from a creepy goth/metal band! See how many free nerds/creeps you get!

Number 2 really works!

Nick · « **Reply #30 on:** August 29, 2011, 06:30:15 AM »

Quote from: alirocker08 on August 29, 2011, 06:08:45 AM

Go on a girly shop wearing a band t-shirt. No-one will give you funny looks.

They should give you funny looks, wondering why you're on a girly shop instead of in a girly shop.

Oh, and be a grammar/spelling nazi, people will really learn to love you.

YtseBitsySpider · « **Reply #31 on:** August 29, 2011, 06:59:50 AM »

^^if you wander into your first song roulette with the spider...expect to get caught in a webbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb"

Sketchy · « **Reply #32 on:** August 29, 2011, 07:16:38 AM »

If confonted with a rather hungry alligator, the best thing to do is to punch it in the snout to establish dominance. If this fails, the next step you should carry out is cover yourself in ketchup. Alligators are known for their dislike of ketchup and will avoid you at all costs. However, if confronted with a fiend brandishing a shark, you should force him to drop the shark by simply brandishing a bunch of loganberries, closely followed by a stick of dynamite. Sharks will naturally eat the dynamite first, especially if the fuse is lit, meaning that you are free to escape by using the explosion to propel you far from said assailant.

PuffyPat · « **Reply #33 on:** August 29, 2011, 07:26:46 AM »

Quote from: Fuzzboy on August 29, 2011, 12:21:48 AM

quit everything, sell crack, become god

This is the only thing anyone should do. It works very well. I know from experience.

YtseBitsySpider · « **Reply #34 on:** August 29, 2011, 08:49:41 AM »

I watched a kid sell weed in junior high...he gave me the rundown on how it worked.....as we went for mcdonald's in his new/used IROC.

He said "greed....greed kills people in drug sales. If you can follow instructions, not get greedy you can make a fair amount of money, long term without much trouble. I work less than 8 hours a week, sell only to known trusted clients, and don't get greedy trying to make more/sell more. I'm 16 years old, and last year I made 40 thousand dollars."

right.

News: Track-by-track video for Paralyzed: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Fd5TbGbalPs&feature=youtu.be

Author Topic: The "Give Bad Advice" Thread (Read 3888 times)