Yeah, quite chuffed there's no epic.
With regards to the occasional semantic tussles, I think "epic" means two different things. Yes, Bohemian Rhapsody or Metropolis pt. 1 or even Knights of Cydonia could be labelled as "epic," but in DT-lingo it's a status thing rather than a massively subjective thing. It's the elite. Over twenty minutes, indexed. Change of Seasons, Six Degrees, Octavarium, In the Presence of Enemies. The Count of Tuscany is often considered one, too, for some reason, even though it fits neither category, but it's certainly close enough to be a sort of pseudo-epic. I get why people give it the benefit of the doubt.
There was a time when The Killing Hand was the band's resident epic, and later Learning to Live, but the goalposts have moved. The epic has to be conspicuous by its length - the various centrepieces of the band's career - and LtL and TKH are now way too inconspicuous to be considered epic by any vaguely objective tiering system. So while I get "epic is an ambiguous word," it become a bit more complex than that. Epic as an adjective is ambiguous and can be applied to loads of DT songs. Epic as a noun isn't and can't, as it's definitely acquired its own meaning as part of the DT lexicon. It's become functional rather than descriptive, and it's been that way for so many years that it seems a bit futile to go against the grain, however much you like Bohemian Rhapsody.
I think we're saturated with 'em now, though. They used to be the extra-special songs - that occasional, exciting rush of bonus ambition that makes you go "Whoa! They are seriously pushing the boundaries this time." When you've had two in as many albums, arguably followed immediately by a third (depending on who you ask), they stop being special. The extra-special should never become standard. Which it has. We should be excited by an epic's presence, not disappointed by its absence. It used to be the former, but now it's the latter - we expect epics, which is alone quite a good reason to stop writing them for a while.