Jason was one of my closest friends. The phrases "brother" and "family" are often overused, but they aren't in this case. He called my family his family, and I was, as far as he was concerned, a blood relative. He would do anything for me, and I would do the same. This isn't unexpected, given how sick he was a few years back. He overcame it, but his body took a hit that few people recover from. He did. Somehow. But everything about his life was shattered back then. He took the hits, kept getting up.
In recent years he changed a bit. It was all about reconnecting with people. He knew he was on borrowed time and said that often to me. We talked like we always did on the phone. It was more frequent. Back in the Queensryche days, we'd have three-hour conversations every other month with studio hangs a couple times a year. Now it was more like 30-minute chats every other week. We made it a point to get together once a year, no matter where he was (LA, Bay Area, etc.) as a family. When he was very sick, we met him in LA and it went unspoken that he thought he had weeks to live. You could see it. The treatments he was going through, the lifestyle he was being forced to live because of finances, etc. But once he recovered and moved back up to the Bay, he was all about love. For everyone. He did work in music, uncredited, not paid, just to help friends and enjoy it. He picked strawberries at one point. He didn't care. He just wanted to enjoy the time he had.
He tried moving to North Carolina and drove cross-country (oh the stories about that one - lol). He made stops in Arizona, all over the place, and then came right back to Palo Alto. During COVID, he started cooking for elderly neighbors, leaving full meals on their doorsteps. Not once, but weekly, for five, six sets of neighbors. Whenever he could. He lived simply, frugally. He didn't have anything really left except himself. He just kept getting up every morning and enjoyed each day.
Jason was FAR from perfect. Not saying he was this Zen Master or anything. He had his demons which got him in trouble. And he did over these past few years for sure. But again, he knew he was on borrowed time. Because of COVID, we didn't have our annual dinner this year. It's a huge regret, but nothing was open at the time.
He called me in August I think it was, maybe September, saying he had a big decision to make. The place he was staying in Palo Alto was not going to be an option soon. He could go to Hawaii, live rent free and work for a friend (non-music), or he could go back to LA and see what that brought. Seeing the latter as an unstable option, I begrudgingly admitted that if those were his only options, living in paradise wasn't a bad deal. Even though it meant not seeing him too often. A couple of days later he texted and said he was doing it and was going to try and see everyone he could.
We had just bought a new house and moved, my daughter had started school (back in school full time), it wasn't going to happen in the short timeframe he wanted it to. I wish we would have done it anyway. Those last weeks on the mainland, he helped organize a charity raising money for cancer research. He called everyone in his book. Many chose not to take part. Rudy Sarzo did, and I was on the Zoom call that he appeared on, answering questions for people and chatting. Slater wanted no credit. He said he just wanted to do what he could.
We talked briefly, for 27 minutes, 27 seconds on September 23. Right before he left for Hawaii. I think he knew he was sick. It was a quick call on a Wednesday morning. I don't even remember what we talked about honestly. Probably the charity a little bit. But knowing how long our chats could go (27 minutes may have been the shortest real conversation we ever had - lol), and I was working, I sort of cut him off and told him to be safe and I'd talk to him soon and that I loved him. "Love you too brother" was his reply, and that was it. You could tell he wanted to say more. I feel bad I cut him off (but again, if you knew the man, you sort of had to - lol).
I never spoke to him again.
You may think that odd, but remember, while odd for most, there were stretches of time that he disappeared. Months even. I didn't think much of it, knowing he got to Hawaii, after seeing a photo on Facebook. I honestly figured about mid-October, he was just enjoying life and I'd talk to him over the holidays. A couple more weeks went by, and I thought it odd he didn't call around my daughter's birthday. My wife and I laughed it off, nervously, even though we had a weird feeling something bad was going on. I figured he was probably doing a bit too much partying.
Little did I know he was hiding being sick. His daughter, the light of his life, didn't even know apparently until some point in November. My guess it was late November when she found out. I reached out via text on Thanksgiving. I got back a response that was gibberish. I replied "What?" and got more gibberish. I should have called. I should have reached out to his daughter, and thought about it, and didn't. Apparently, he had been admitted to hospice and wasn't really coherent. But I had no idea, and figured (because he'd done it before) lost his phone and some moron in Hawaii was messing with it. It didn't feel right, particularly since he was off social media and didn't respond to those messages either, but there wasn't anything I could do. I would have called, but I honestly thought his phone had been stolen.
I was going to try again this week, and then found out from his daughter early yesterday. He passed peacefully from liver failure (as the vultures from TMZ reported).
I'm gutted, but thankfully, we said everything to each other and there was unconditional love between us and Slater. I wish I would have called, but given he hid what was going on, maybe he preferred us to remember his smiling face and wit, as opposed to the sadness. Either way, my wife, daughter and I lost a big part of our lives yesterday. GREAT memories. I will always remember that laugh and his smile. He was particularly proud of his new teeth (a dentist friend of him set him up with new teeth after his ultimately had to be replaced). Ha ha ha.
Thanks for reading if you still are. I haven't opened up much. I always write when things like this happen. I just couldn't yesterday. I want to blog about his music stories and all the memories and all that...and I will, in time. But I just miss my brother. I'm happy he's pain free, and I'm thankful our paths crossed in life. Biggest heart I've ever seen. He gave his everything to everyone, all of the time. Rest peacefully, J...
Topic: Official Queensryche thread: Kickstart the next album (Read 707053 times)
