Two social mannerisms I've always wondered about

[orcus116]

I was going to talk about one but remembered the other. Today I got asked why I didn't ask a co-worker who I was working with her life's resume just for the sake of passing time when we were traveling from job to job. The reason? I hate small talk. I don't feel the need to pilfer uninteresting facts from people just for the sake of. To me it's almost completely unnecessary and reserved for trying to break what some might consider an awkward silence. I know we're only doing it just out of formality, you know we're only doing it just out of formality, so why even bother with it? I've run into the same when seeing people from high school I never really knew well some 5 years later and have to engage in the whole "hey where have you been?" and then act interested for 10 minutes. Don't get me wrong, I like conversing but only when it might lead to something a little more engaging not rehashing the same "I went to school in blah", "I grew up in blah and moved here blah" lines those people are probably going to forget in 15 minutes anyways. To me, finding things out about a person through more interesting conversation and activities is more fun and rewarding for both parties involved.

Another one is tipping for jobs that don't usually tip. I'm not talking accepting bribes or anything but I was working at a banquet hall setting up rooms and what not and there were a few times where I'd just be doing my job or someone would ask for a water only to surprise me with $5 or $10. I've been told that you're always supposed to refuse first and if they insist then accept. You know what? Fuck it, I'm taking that money if it's offered, especially if I'm working bad hours at a low paying job that doesn't respect their employees. Why are you supposed to be polite about it when someone straight up gives you money you could use? Is it taboo to just take the tip right away without refusing it?

I dunno, maybe you guys have some insight.

[Ħ]

Culture - how does it work?

[MasterShakezula]

Must involve magnets or something...

[DarkEternalNight]

Both of those mannerisms are very stupid.

[glaurung]

I get what you mean about catching up with some old acquaintance. You wont really care about them again in 10 minutes anyways. As for the co-workers thing, I'm not so sure. In order to get into the "deeper discussion" sometimes small talk is necessary to get to that point. 

[lonestar]

My insight on the tipping- Usually, the tipper in that situation worked in the industry before, and is understanding of whatever work the tip-ee is doing, and is appreciating it. Most other situations is someone showing off who deserves to have their money taken. Either way, unless the policy is strict(members only clubs are like this), take the money guiltlessly.

[j]

I used to work at Costco when I was in college and I'd load up TVs and furniture and other big stuff for people in/on their cars or trucks.  People would always tip me and the other dudes out there and the policy was to reject it and if they insist, bring it inside and give it to a manager.

Lol, right so his punk-ass can put it in his pocket?  I think not.  Made literally hundreds of extra dollars that way.

-J

[Ravenheart]

I don't like how I'm expected to masquerade myself just to look socially acceptable to strangers who won't remember me a few minutes later. I have to smile, laugh at their shitty jokes, and act interested in their boring lives.

I find it interesting how it's acceptable for there to be long moments of silence in between friends, but when it's between 2 complete strangers, they're expected to treat each other like emperors. God forbid they run out of things to talk about and don't resolve to menial ramblings that put each other to sleep.

[Firetruck]

I didn't know Larry David frequented DTF. 

[BlobVanDam]

I think small talk is fine to start up a conversation, but it sounds like you were expected to do it merely for the sake of it, in which case I don't see the point.

And as someone from outside the US, everything about tipping just seems weird.

[In The Name Of Rudess]

If you hate small talk you're probably on the introverted side of the personality scale. Small talk enlivens most extroverts, while most introverts hate it or at least see it purely as a means to an end. There's not much you can do about it, except for moving to a country with a more introverted culture.

And as someone from outside the US, everything about tipping just seems weird.

Yeah, this. The whole tipping thing doesn't exist in the country where I live. No-one gives tips to anyone, people are just expected to do their jobs and they get a monthly salary for it. I don't see why you should give people money when they're already getting paid.

[j]

The whole tipping thing doesn't exist in the country where I live. No-one gives tips to anyone, people are just expected to do their jobs and they get a monthly salary for it. I don't see why you should give people money when they're already getting paid.

Lots of us (including myself) think the tipping culture in the US is stupid, but it's hardly as simplistic as "they're already getting paid, so why pay them more".

Anyway, we already had a lengthy thread about this a couple months ago that I'd rather not relive.

-J

[ReaPsTA]

The first one is uncomfortable but makes sense.  People want to be acknowledged, and that means talking about the basic facts that make up the fabric of their existence.  Where someone went to school is often not a big deal to me, but it was to them.  Just talking about that matters.  Being good at small talk makes a lot of life a lot easier, because people feel more comfortable.

The second one I'm a little more dubious on.  Obviously you should follow the social norm for your economic benefit.  If you're the guy who's perceived as greedily accepting tips, you'll stop getting them.  But I don't understand why this would be a social interaction.  If a waitress were to express hesitance over accepting a tip, she'd be perceived as ungrateful.

[Jirpo]

No-one really tips in Australia, so I don't know about the second one. But I agree about the first one.

[Sir GuitarCozmo]

No-one gives tips to anyone, people are just expected to do their jobs and they get a monthly salary for it. I don't see why you should give people money when they're already getting paid.

I don't know how many times I've said this.  The tip-happy routine that goes on here is insane.  I should not have to tip the person who cuts my hair.  Or the tattoo guy.  Or whoever.  The waitress - fine.  They do not make minimum wage most of the time, so the tips ARE a big part of their earnings.  A pizza delivery guy?  Yeah, I can see it.  I didn't wanna get off of MY lazy ass to go get a pizza, so you brought it to me in YOUR own car.  Here's a tip.  there aren't many other instances where I feel a tip is justified.  You're doing your job.  Be grateful you're getting paid to do it.

[Chino]

I hatewheni have to tip the dealer at a casino. I you dont you look like a dick at the table. If I win a hand I shouldn't have to pay them. It not like they're stacking the deck for me... last time I went in the pokerrokm I gave dealers at least 30 bucks.

[jsem]

I'm glad us euro people don't have to tip.

[Orbert]

I've never had a problem with the small-talk thing.  I've been in situations where a coworker and I were travelling together, and when I've had enough, I pull out my iPod and say I'm going to cop some sleep.  Earphones in, eyes closed, sometimes I actually fall asleep, but mostly I enjoy listening to tunes for a while, and don't have to make conversation.

As for the tipping, I've never worked jobs where tipping was expected or even occassional, but when I was cooking short-order, I was tipped a few times for some particularly good meals.  That was surprising, but I didn't argue; I took the money.  I'm pretty sure that in general, I'd take the money someone offerred me and not play some game where I pretend to reject it.

[MetalJunkie]

I love small talk, and talking to people in general. Never know what you might learn about someone or their perspective.

[j]

^Yeah, I wouldn't say I love "small talk", but I do enjoy talking to people.  I don't look at it as an annoying obligation: if you don't want to talk to somebody, you don't have to.  But instead of viewing it negatively and just asking mundane questions, maybe actually pay attention and really talk to them.  You never know if that person might just need somebody to talk to, and plus you can meet some cool people that way.

-J

[orcus116]

To clarify I much prefer observation quips that evolve into stories you might've never told any one before, that kinda stuff. I guess I derive my amusement in odd ways.

[ricky]

if they offer a tip don't even ask twice, just take the money and run.

if they didn't really want to tip you and were offering it to just be polite, then they learned their lesson. if they really did want to give you a tip, then no harm no foul.