Saturday, my wife, son and I were out and about running errands, going to our local town fair and catching a baseball game. A busy, but fun day for all. Throughout it all my wife was having contractions (she was pregnant, our due date had been three days earlier), but they were manageable and we didn't think she was too far along in labor yet. We got home from the game, put my son down to bed and decided to watch some TV and relax to see if labor picked up. I called our midwife to let her know that things were progressing and we'd likely need her to come sometime overnight (we were planning on having a homebirth).
Immediately after I hang up the phone with the midwife, my wife starts complaining of terrible contractions with lots of pressure and pain. I call the midwife right back and tell her on second thought to come right away. She lives 45 minutes away from our house. Still blissfully in denial of how far along labor was we try to move my wife upstairs to the bathtub to relax while waiting for the midwife. We make it 6 feet to the bottom of the stairs where my wife can no longer help but push. She feels a head (and is freaking out). I call the midwife again... she's heading out the door. I grab a blanket and the head is out. One more push and we have another son... on the rug at the base of our stairs.
After making sure the baby was breathing well, I run and grab a couple of towels, wrap him up, look at my wife, tell her how amazing she is, and ask "what the hell just happened?" We made our way upstairs to the bed and have some family time before the midwife arrives (she got pulled over by a cop for speeding on the way, but he let her go). Meanwhile my older son is blissfully sleeping in the next room completely unaware of what is going on. The midwife arrives, does her thing, and declares everyone in fabulous shape. I layed awake for a couple hours going through everything in my mind freaking out about everything I didn't have time to freak out about during the actual birth, thanking God that nothing went wrong.
Ezra David
tl;dr lordxizor delivered his own child in a panic on the floor of his house. It was fun.